💼 Careercow Kimberly Crawley - Autistic Game Developer and Creator of Hackers vs. Banksters

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Oh man her Reddit handle actually is "Crowgirl". As if we needed it, but by this point it's basically confirmed the protagonist of her shitty game is her own Sonichu.
 
Why does this chick look like she entered Hot Topics and never came out?

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There comes a time when certain hair dyes and lipstick colors should be off limits after a certain age.

By the way, can you really claim that your profession is a hacker? Wouldn't most companies worry about hiring a hacker? I mean, this isn't a movie where the FBI/CIA need you to hack into a system from some foreign country.
 
Dipper Pines said:
Why does this chick look like she entered Hot Topics and never came out?

View attachment 81618

There comes a time when certain hair dyes and lipstick colors should be off limits after a certain age.

By the way, can you really claim that your profession is a hacker? Wouldn't most companies worry about hiring a hacker? I mean, this isn't a movie where the FBI/CIA need you to hack into a system from some foreign country.
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Not unless you developed a virus to impress a system security company like Malewarebytes or Avast, which is a thing that commonly happens.
 
MarvinTheParanoidAndroid said:
Not unless you developed a virus to impress a system security company like Malewarebytes or Avast, which is a thing that commonly happens.
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Exactly, so unless, Kimberly's hacking credentials are impressive enough to make any company want to hire her, she might as well keep her little "talent" to herself.

But her comic is horrifying to look at. Not even good enough to play just for shits and giggles.
 
Dipper Pines said:
Exactly, so unless, Kimberly's hacking credentials are impressive enough to make any company want to hire her, she might as well keep her little "talent" to herself.

But her comic is horrifying to look at. Not even good enough to play just for shits and giggles.
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It's a basic as shit game that required the absolute minimum of effort. I imagine that this was done on purpose.

Her game is seriously no more complex than a dating sim. She mentioned how "intense" it was to create the code that keeps track of Crowgirl's diet when the reality is that such a thing can be accounted for with a simple variable, the value of which changes based on functions tied to the options when picking her meals which are "evaluated" by an if conditional at the end.

Actually, comparing it to a dating sim is too generous. The exact kind of script used for this is what you'd find in hentai quiz games; that is the standard of game that she made.

Her programming skills are so elementary & limited that she'd literally be better off using RPG Maker instead.

I doubt she'll ever fully learn Python, even if her game got funded & she were able to take a whole month to learn it. She's already demonstrated a complete and utter lack of real passion in her work; her desire to learn the language only extends to her immediate need of certain code.

Her game could stand to benefit so much if she just "hired" an actual artist to create the art assets for her. The reason her game isn't getting funded isn't because of some arbitrary bullshit like her gender; her game shows no promise whatsoever. It also doesn't help that her competition consists of thousands of people who have made professional games in a third of the time for free.

Her second mistake was her demo; it's already a completed game so she clearly didn't need that funding to finish it. Why would I fund a game that not only didn't require funds to complete but doesn't need funds to complete at all? She effectively gave away a full game for free while calling it a demo.

Let's recap on the failure;
Her game functions at the level of a quiz game.
Her art is so poor that it looks like a parody of refrigerator art.
Her backgrounds are photos.
The game is already finished so there's no need to give it funding.
The game is already free to download so there's no need to give it funding.
Her game plays for half as long as most of the ones you'd play for free on the internet in the early 2000s.
The story is a poorly written rip off of a successful TV show in which the rip-off characters are somehow simultaneously amoral morons and altruistic geniuses.

If I didn't know who Crawley was and I had to judge her age without seeing her or her date of birth, this game would convince me she was a teenager just on how rudimentary it is.

The only salvation for this travesty is to publish it for free on a website with ads running so that they'd have a scratch of hope of actually making something out of it & use it as a proof of product by starting a new game right after & using HVB as an example of game completion.

Their luck for the next Kickstarter would only increase by, like, 2% but it would still work out way better than continuing to push it in the direction they want. They could even cannibalize the code from HVB for their next game.

They could turn this into a nice little pocket change racket but they're both individually too retarded to be that conniving when combined.
 
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MarvinTheParanoidAndroid said:
It's a basic as shit game that required the absolute minimum of effort. I imagine that this was done on purpose.

Her game is seriously no more complex than a dating sim. She mentioned how "intense" it was to create the code that keeps track of Crowgirl's diet when the reality is that such a thing can be accounted for with a simple variable, the value of which changes based on functions tied to the options when picking her meals which are "evaluated" by an if conditional at the end.

Actually, comparing it to a dating sim is too generous. The exact kind of script used for this is what you'd find in hentai quiz games; that is the standard of game that she made.

Her programming skills are so elementary & limited that she'd literally be better off using RPG Maker instead.

I doubt she'll ever fully learn Python, even if her game got funded & she were able to take a whole month to learn it. She's already demonstrated a complete and utter lack of real passion in her work; her desire to learn the language only extends to her immediate need of certain code.

Her game could stand to benefit so much if she just "hired" an actual artist to create the art assets for her. The reason her game isn't getting funded isn't because of some arbitrary bullshit like her gender; her game shows no promise whatsoever. It also doesn't help that her competition consists of thousands of people who have made professional games in a third of the time for free.

Her second mistake was her demo; it's already a completed game so she clearly didn't need that funding to finish it. Why would I fund a game that not only didn't require funds to complete but doesn't need funds to complete at all? She effectively gave away a full game for free while calling it a demo.

Let's recap on the failure;
Her game functions at the level of a quiz game.
Her art is so poor that it looks like a parody of refrigerator art.
Her backgrounds are photos.
The game is already finished so there's no need to give it funding.
The game is already free to download so there's no need to give it funding.
Her game plays for half as long as most of the ones you'd play for free on the internet in the early 2000s.
The story is a poorly written rip off of a successful TV show in which the rip-off characters are somehow simultaneously amoral morons and altruistic geniuses.

If I didn't know who Crawley was and I had to judge her age without seeing her or her date of birth, this game would convince me she was a teenager just on how rudimentary it is.

The only salvation for this travesty is to publish it for free on a website with ads running so that they'd have a scratch of hope of actually making something out of it & use it as a proof of product by starting a new game right after & using HVB as an example of game completion.

Their luck for the next Kickstarter would only increase by, like, 2% but it would still work out way better than continuing to push it in the direction they want. They could even cannibalize the code from HVB for their next game.

They could turn this into a nice little pocket change racket but they're both individually too retarded to be that conniving when combined.
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Informative. It just sucks that visual novels tend to have a stigma amongst gamers. Visual novels are often pegged as being gimicky, filled with porn, and overall a lazy way to make games. But that's not the case. I'm pretty sure there are plenty of visual novels that people think are interesting such as Corpse Party or Phoenix Wright. But often times, wanna be game developers make those types of games because they think it's easier to make as opposed to spending hours upon hours working on coding.

The points you have discussed about her works is true. Even if the art was "okay", who exactly would buy it? Not many SJWs would be willing to donate an X amount of money on something unless it perfectly aligns with their perfect world. And regular folks wouldn't be interested in a MS paint looking comic if they could find something better.

Perhaps her comic would have sell if this was the 2000s?
 
Dipper Pines said:
The points you have discussed about her works is true. Even if the art was "okay", who exactly would buy it? Not many SJWs would be willing to donate an X amount of money on something unless it perfectly aligns with their perfect world. And regular folks wouldn't be interested in a MS paint looking comic if they could find something better.
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She might have had slightly better luck during the "we are anonymous" era but most people from that crowd would've laughed her off.

Dipper Pines said:
Perhaps her comic would have sell if this was the 2000s?
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Probably not.

Why do you keep calling it a comic?
 
So what's up with the whole visual novel/ text adventure fad in the indie gaming scene anyway? Is there an actual sizable market for them? Or is it just a case of being the genre in gaming with the least amount of technical skill (or effort) required to make, and still have the "honor" of calling yourself a game developer? I mean, these kind of people see being a game dev as a status symbol, as opposed to being a job or hobby like it really is. "Look, I made a game, am I in with the cool crowd yet?"

I just don't get it, most of this kind of shit is just poorly written trash. Where's the appeal? Unless it was written by someone with proper experience in writing fiction, but this is never the case, it seems.
 
Fuck it, I'm feeling ambitious today. Have some redesigns that I came up with in 10 minutes on my phone:
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Rw6pPxS.jpg

I tried to make Crowgirl look more like how someone with severe anorexia would look. Tankboy's design looked too much like a guy in a bathrobe, so I made it look more like he was dressing for winter. His skin would look better paler, I was just too lazy to fix it.
 
TylerRVG said:
So what's up with the whole visual novel/ text adventure fad in the indie gaming scene anyway? Is there an actual sizable market for them? Or is it just a case of being the genre in gaming with the least amount of technical skill (or effort) required to make, and still have the "honor" of calling yourself a game developer? I mean, these kind of people see being a game dev as a status symbol, as opposed to being a job or hobby like it really is. "Look, I made a game, am I in with the cool crowd yet?"

I just don't get it, most of this kind of shit is just poorly written trash. Where's the appeal? Unless it was written by someone with proper experience in writing fiction, but this is never the case, it seems.
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It's mostly because it requires less effort than the other go-to, a 2D platformer. However, there are a couple of other, smaller factors likely at work:

1. Some of these "developers" are failed writers or theater people looking to tell their stories but don't have a grasp on the medium.

2. They see the success that other visual novel games like Danganronpa or the Type Moon games have had within their respective niches but don't understand why these are successful nor do they realize how small that audience is for various reasons.
 
I'd hire her.

Edit: dang. I make a joke about hiring her (regarding her infosec/Web development based in the fact she can't even puppet correctly) and I get a bunch of negative votes. I don't even understand the power level votes.
 
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I made more redesigns because this is fun. I think these turned out better than the last ones.
Taylor was a bit hard because there's no designated nonbinary clothing. I did make them look more like someone who works in an office, though. For Flattop, I based his design off of actual 90s hiphop clothing instead of the 90s dad clothing Crawly used.
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