Grace Lavery / Joseph Lavery & Daniel M. Lavery / Mallory Ortberg - "Straight with extra steps" couple trooning out to avoid "dwindling into mere heterosexuality"

[behindyourightnow]

I'm going to break with most people here and say I believe her, or at least I believe that she thinks she's telling the truth. It was probably up behind the cervix, which would explain it affecting her colon.

The doctors not bothering to do a full check in stirrups sounds about right for the way medical staff generally treat "female" problems.

The part I don't understand is why her family is using the prole healthcare system. They don't have a concierge doctor? She couldn't get an appointment with anyone better that whole time?

The dual autism diagnoses make a lot of sense at this point because it explains why they're so rich but don't act the way you would expect people to act at that level of wealth.

And this whole time, the container she stores the menstrual cup in between periods was just sitting on the bathroom counter, getting dusty, never ringing any bells.

Seriously, it's the size of a shotglass. The thought that it could, on its own, migrate past the cervix and into the uterus is laughable. That's a real camel/eye of the needle scenario. In a horror dimension where that could actually happen, Nicole should see a gynecologist now to take a gander at her apparent cervical gape.

Plus it's flexible silicone so the idea of it penetrating a cervix doesn't make sense (apart from the size). Even if it got squished up against a cervix it would just deform. You can't penetrate a vagina with an open DivaCup, you have to squish it so it's closed into a kind of crescent moon shape, and then it pops open once it's inside.



The idea of it getting stuck behind a cervix does make more sense, because it could conceivably flatten out and then pop open there to create suction.

 

[White-Kettle Shufflepunk]

Somewhere, Grace is fuming that his thread is talking about actual female anatomy instead of him.

 

[Boris Blank's glass eye]

Okay, so why is she posting about several instances of medical mistreatment instead of having Steve hit those doctors with malpractice suits? Especially when this all is allegedly easily proven. Something definitely happened to her, but the way she describes everything it smells like a bunch of munchie bollocks.

 

[Aunt Carol]

I'm going to break with most people here and say I believe her, or at least I believe that she thinks she's telling the truth. It was probably up behind the cervix, which would explain it affecting her colon.
...
The idea of it getting stuck behind a cervix does make more sense, because it could conceivably flatten out and then pop open there to create suction.

This does seem like the most likely explanation, to reconcile her story with reality.

I guess there's an untapped market for a vaginal guest book, for people who need a little extra help to make sure that everything that goes into their vagina makes its way out again.

 

[behindyourightnow]

Okay I have changed my mind. I think she got pelvic inflammatory disease from cup misuse (not cleaning it or changing it as often as needed). She concocted the migration story because she was embarrassed that she’s a gross bitch.

Spoiler: Evidence this is possible.

View attachment 3568199

That’s not good evidence though. That poor OP likely got PID from a partner who then told her “oh no baby I’d never cheat, you must have gotten it from some sort of airborne infection that was hovering around your workplace bathroom!”

You can also find internet users who claim you can get genital herpes from a toilet seat because that’s how their beloved girlfriend told them they got it. Spoiler: someone was fucking and then lying about it.

Okay, so why is she posting about several instances of medical mistreatment instead of having Steve hit those doctors with malpractice suits? Especially when this all is allegedly easily proven. Something definitely happened to her, but the way she describes everything it smells like a bunch of munchie bollocks.

She explained that part pretty well in the post: she has no actual proof that the cup was in her cervix (which it wasn’t, but she thinks it was). She probably spoke to a lawyer friend already who shot down the idea.

Plus, why bother? For money?

I also don't believe her accounts of her interactions with the doctors. If she explained, as she claims, "I put my Diva Cup up there and can't get it out," it is VERY hard to believe she would have experienced the reactions she describes.

She probably led with “there is a DivaCup inside my uterus!” and so they assumed she was crazy from the get go. Still doesn’t excuse them not checking properly, of course.

 

[Boris Blank's glass eye]

Plus, why bother? For money?

And clout. Could have claimed as lead-up to the enby/softboi ÜwÜ phase and framed the whole experience as "deeply enby/transphobic medical providers literally wanted me to die because REASONS".

 

[Trianon]

Y'all, I can't. These things, they did not happen the most.

What kills me is that I don't even think she's been back to the hospital since getting it out. She plans on going back in September to have a meeting with the hospital admin to file a complaint or something, but they are just going to laugh at her again because she has invented a blocked colon, a Diva Cup suctioned to the inside wall of a uterus (how could she tell?), and dug the thing out herself because she didn't want to go to the ER a second time. This is all just her guess about what was going on inside, there is no confirmation of any of it. She is spreading misinformation and making people afraid of cups when she is misunderstanding where it was.

A Diva Cup that is sitting weird in the vaginal canal can put pressure on the colon/rectum area because it is filling normally empty space. That is what happened. It being inside the uterus would not do that unless the entire organ is swollen, at which point, you have worse problems that are verifiable and not just [handwaves] it's somewhere in there.

She is dealing with untreated mental illness, a possible prolapsed uterus, possible scarring from her constantly clawing at it, multiple UTIs, rapid weight loss (which she admitted was because she just forgot to eat, not that she was ravenous from, you know, not getting enough calories), depression, and a rapid onset troon attraction midlife crisis. She can try to let a Diva Cup shoulder the blame for all of this, but at least some of those symptoms are comorbid and were not brought on by a sudden infection. And if they were, she is still wrong about where Diva Cups can migrate inside the human body.

Another fun little quote from her post:

Then, during sex, I felt a moment of mind-bending agony, SCREAMED and was in a massive pool of blood. He had popped the suction. I ran to the bathroom, it was halfway out of my cervix. I could not live another moment like this & I did my best to fold it & yank it out bc I did not believe the ER would do it. It was the most painful moment of my life & then it was out. I screamed for Steve, he ran/saw it/knew exactly what it was and what it meant.

So Steve is having sex with Nicole, she SCREAMS, there's BLOOD, she RUNS TO THE BATHROOM, and then she has to yell for him to come see what happened. He was literally just chilling, mid-coitus, while covered in his wife's blood. Right.

She posted a few more comments on Instagram:

Couldn't confide in a female friend, only troons. Also, note that she's now saying that she was "very very mentally ill for a very long time," not just very very mentally ill for the last month.
View attachment 3568758

Previously she said it could be solved with "five minutes and a prescription," now it's "five minutes and a D&C." A D&C is dilation and curettage, a procedure whereby the cervix is dilated and tissue is scraped away from the uterine wall--D&C is one method of performing a surgical abortion, removing any remaining embryonic tissue after a miscarriage, or obtaining cells for diagnostic tests. D&C would not be needed to extract a Diva Cup from the uterus because it wouldn't be implanted in the uterine wall...where is she getting this?!
View attachment 3568757

I also noticed she said the Diva Cup was in her uterus for "a minimum of 7 months," and claims she was feeling bad in December. So she's claiming she doesn't even know when she left it in there.

The D&C thing gives the game AWAY, wow. Is she seriously going to use this to talk about how abortion SAVES LIVES and maybe one day someone will need their DIVA CUP scraped out of them and therefore we have to keep abortion legal in all 50 states? She is really fucking doing this, I am deceased.

Okay I have changed my mind. I think she got pelvic inflammatory disease from cup misuse (not cleaning it or changing it as often as needed). She concocted the migration story because she was embarrassed that she’s a gross bitch.

Spoiler: Evidence this is possible.

View attachment 3568199

This story seems weird too. Not rinsing before reinserting is not going to hurt anything (it's just menstrual blood that would be in there anyway and will be tossed out when you change it again). You are supposed to boil it to sanitize it each month for a few minutes, but the post doesn't address that aspect at all.

 

[Prescription Bugs]

Definitely possible to forget a tampon and/or a menstrual cup before having sex. Also possible for such a device to get rammed up behind the cervix where it could be difficult or impossible to reach with a finger:
View attachment 3568121
The Diva Cup is a soft menstrual cup, it's very believable that it could get squashed and forced up behind the cervix out of reach. Out of mind and memory...odd but still possible. Up through the cervix and into the uterus, no way. The only explanation that makes sense is the simplest: it was in her vagina.

This is going to be too much info about my privates. So it’s kind of like an epic power level self cuck just to shed some light on my opinion of diva cups.


The very last time I used a diva cup it had suctioned to vaginl/cervical tissue so severely that I could not break the seal. Everything had swollen round it and was this puffy vaginal mess. I could not get that thing out and this was after years of experience with using diva cups and knowing my own anatomy well as an adult birthing woman. When I finally did get it out, it felt like it shifted things around in there, perhaps even pulling my cervix down a little and for awhile it felt like I had something in there. I didn’t. It was just swollen, shifted, abused me. All that stuff going on can change cause pressure on your rectum, bowels.

I think hers got suctioned and stuck in the folds of her vagina and cervix.

I don’t think Divas are that great honestly I think it can change your internal landscape for a bit. For some the suction is a LOT. It’s not a normal movement and in a population of people who can have prolapses, I think they are a bad idea if you have even one bit of a problem with them.

Also, if you are at ER and if you have a diva cup in there, don’t leave until they get it out.

Insist on them taking you seriously!

I don’t see how this could have killed her unless she went septic but she never said she went septic right? Wouldn’t that require hospitalization? I’m so confused about the how it almost killed her part. You could get utis and yes it could give you bowel issues and make you feel gross but then why would you be having sex? It just doesn’t add up.

 

[OttoWest]

And this whole time, the container she stores the menstrual cup in between periods was just sitting on the bathroom counter, getting dusty, never ringing any bells.

Seen her house? Dirty and disorganized with piles of shit everywhere. Nicole and Steve don’t live like the multimillionaires they supposedly are.

 

[behindyourightnow]

I remain a big fan of cups because tampons are gross, but maybe they're not for everyone. Interesting that a few people mentioned a potential prolapse though. I was wondering about that earlier, but didn't want to speculate. Like I wondered if perhaps there was a small prolapse from the multiple vaginal births and that contributed to it being able to get stuck. Doesn't seem like the kind of thing an OB/GYN would miss, though.

(I do hope Joe and any other lurking MtFs are severely triggered by all this transphobic discussion of female anatomy)

She posted a few more comments on Instagram:

Couldn't confide in a female friend, only troons. Also, note that she's now saying that she was "very very mentally ill for a very long time," not just very very mentally ill for the last month.
View attachment 3568758

Maybe if she'd talked to an actual woman instead of a few AGP males and her autistic husband, that woman would have sat her down and said "honey it's in your vagina, let's find a good doctor and figure out a way to deal with this." Sucks to be a handmaiden I guess.

Longtime lurker who was finally pushed into registering by this batshit story. After you give birth they tell you not to have sex for 6 weeks because your cervix needs to close back down - there's risk of infection if you introduce any foreign objects to your vagina when your cervix is open like that. They make you go in and do a pelvic exam to make sure it's closed before giving you the"green light". If this story were true, it would mean she has been walking around ever since she last gave birth with a dilated cervix and none of her doctors said anything? Does this even ever happen?

Not to mention that the doctor she saw recently (the one who supposedly said she could have died of sepsis) didn't seem concerned that she is walking around with a gaping infection-prone cervix. She's either misrepresenting that conversation or (more likely) he was humoring her and she didn't notice.

 

[pursuitsnail]

Seen her house? Dirty and disorganized with piles of shit everywhere. Nicole and Steve don’t live like the multimillionaires they supposedly are.

Being absent minded and having a lot of clutter about might explain her not being concerned or noticing that her cup was missing. But she noticed her period was starting, (presumably) cleaned the cup and inserted it, mashing it up behind her cervix in the process. It wouldn't have been comfortable, and it wouldn't have caught the blood. Wouldn't she have noticed that despite having placed her cup there's still flow coming out?

She doesn't at that point try to retrieve it. And failing to fish it out, she doesn't call her GP or OBGYN. Instead she forgets about it for.. months? Until it gets jabbed hard enough during sex that she can't ignore it any longer? That's a whole new level of busy or complete scatter brain.

I'll still take this kind of crazy over Joe's "Women are not a natural type" crazy.

 

[Dr. Butt]

Being absent minded and having a lot of clutter about might explain her not being concerned or noticing that her cup was missing. But she noticed her period was starting, (presumably) cleaned the cup and inserted it, mashing it up behind her cervix in the process. It wouldn't have been comfortable, and it wouldn't have caught the blood. Wouldn't she have noticed that despite having placed her cup there's still flow coming out?

She doesn't at that point try to retrieve it. And failing to fish it out, she doesn't call her GP or OBGYN. Instead she forgets about it for.. months? Until it gets jabbed hard enough during sex that she can't ignore it any longer? That's a whole new level of busy or complete scatter brain.

I'll still take this kind of crazy over Joe's "Women are not a natural type" crazy.

There is a type of upper-to-extreme-upper-class woman who is messy, doesn't clean her floors, and whose children don't have the best bathing habits. Generally she'll be very socially popular and never in a bad mood in public, and either be a banker/engineer/lawyer, or an intellectual pursuits housewife. I haven't been in the USA for very long so apologies if I'm telling you something you already know, but the upper crust Brits, Afrikaaners, and all-purpose tropical whites have a few of these in every company, whether it's a woman in management or some of the wives.

 

[Dambusters' Dog II]

It was probably up behind the cervix, which would explain it affecting her colon.

For the record, this place is known as the posterior fornix. For whatever reason, this term hasn't entered common parlance like "cervix" and so on.
But I would say that she did the vaginal equivalent of accidentally getting a contact lens awkwardly folded up in your tear duct.

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

Definitely possible to forget a tampon and/or a menstrual cup before having sex. Also possible for such a device to get rammed up behind the cervix where it could be difficult or impossible to reach with a finger:
View attachment 3568121
The Diva Cup is a soft menstrual cup, it's very believable that it could get squashed and forced up behind the cervix out of reach. Out of mind and memory...odd but still possible. Up through the cervix and into the uterus, no way. The only explanation that makes sense is the simplest: it was in her vagina.

I can't find another diagram that shows that space the arrow is pointing to. It's also not labeled, so I'm not really sure what it's supposed to represent in the image here. The cervix has a slight U-shape, but the depth of the U isn't anywhere deep enough to fit even a rolled up cup. There just isn't anywhere for it to get lost.

How deep is that fornix? Cups are way thicker and bigger (even proportionately) than a lens in an eye. And you usually can feel it at some point/level.

And even if the cup somehow got flattened and behind/to the side of the cervix, some part of it would have stuck out below the cervix, so how could she - for 6-7 more months of periods - not have bumped into it at all with the cup for the later periods? Cannot fathom it getting completely wedged and totally higher up enough never to feel it (from a cup, from sex, whatever) for that long.

Also, even rolled up/squished, that silicon object is not getting through the cervix - against gravity, against physical realities.

Conclusion: a) none of this ever happened and/or b) it got into her uterus on purpose as part of some kind of extreme sex play.

And she's not (supposedly) after a med-mal suit, but rather a defective design tort claim against the manufacturer AND some kind of gender-related interview-worthy clout (generally and also possibly as part of indulging some weird sexual fetish for cringe notoriety).

 

[kaien]

Asking for a quick sanity/memory check from more knowledgeable folks in the thread. I was never a big follower of Cliffe or the Toast back in the day, but I had a basic awareness of them the way you're aware of any internet famous sorta people when you're unhealthily online. She wasn't always this fucking crazy, right? Out in the open I mean?

I recall that she seemed at least a little bit out there, and there was the blatant fabulism when she made up the story about Jesse Singal's uncontrollable lust for tranny cock. But the last couple months, what with apparently fucking the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Troon and now providing extensive blow-by-blow of her fantasy genital disasters, I feel like this is on another level.

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

Asking for a quick sanity/memory check from more knowledgeable folks in the thread. I was never a big follower of Cliffe or the Toast back in the day, but I had a basic awareness of them the way you're aware of any internet famous sorta people when you're unhealthily online. She wasn't always this fucking crazy, right? Out in the open I mean?

I recall that she seemed at least a little bit out there, and there was the blatant fabulism when she made up the story about Jesse Singal's uncontrollable lust for tranny cock. But the last couple months, what with apparently fucking the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Troon and now providing extensive blow-by-blow of her fantasy genital disasters, I feel like this is on another level.

Back when she was doing the parenting advice column on Slate (call it 5-7 years ago, idr exactly), the perception by many of the most active posters on that site/in the advice columns was that she provided mostly sane, smart, and common-sense advice. That was around the time Danny/Mallory was doing Pru and initiating transformation and then filtering everything through that lens even when a complete stretch to do, so that was the comparison. A significant number of daily posters/mods considered Nicole far better and clearer and more relatable (and less self-absorbed) as an advice-giver*. I never thought her that great, personally (she seemed a little off - and smug - to me), but that was the perception by a largely white, educated, middle-aged group of non-internet-arrested people*.

* that crowd had no idea about Joe

So in at least one corner of the internet, no, she wasn't looking completely crazy.

 

[Real Centaur]

I also believe that this is what she thinks happened, but in actuality is not at all plausible.

One possibility is that maybe the doctor told her that the cup was "behind her cervix"/"past her cervix"/something similar and she misunderstood that as it being "through her cervix" i.e. in her uterus. Which is not all that implausible a mistake to make, semantically speaking, but also immediately obviously impossible if you take a second to think about it and have any degree of familiarity with female biology. And then she went to her husband and Joe, who are totes experts in femaleness, and Mallory who can't admit to any connection it, and no one told her that she was being dumb.

The stories that she's spinning around it, though, are incredibly over the top in any case.

 

[mrae]

They just held me and loved me and G had the honesty and bravery to ask if I knew I was too thin. I knew. I knew I was too thin. But I got compliments and it was the body I was told I should want my whole life and I would think I looked pretty and now I can barely look at those photos.

Was reading Nicole's post again and got stuck on this. It's totally fine for this 400lb dude to comment on her body and her health relative to her size. It's a good thing! It's true! It was honest and brave.

I won't even suggest imagining a reverse situation, where any woman suggests to Micah that being 400lbs in your 30s isn't a picture of health and it being received like this. You can't. You know exactly the rage it would inspire.

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

My educated opinion is that this lady has a substance abuse problem comorbid with whatever the fuck her psychiatric deal is, and it's basically impossible to make heads or tails of the literal crackhead tales she will come up with to explain the various embarrassing predicaments she gets herself into because of said substance-psychiatric dual diagnosis lunacy. This is clearly one of those crackhead tales, but the truth of what actually happened is hopelessly lost in the mists of meth/crack/pills/booze/whatever.

 

[Trianon]

Asking for a quick sanity/memory check from more knowledgeable folks in the thread. I was never a big follower of Cliffe or the Toast back in the day, but I had a basic awareness of them the way you're aware of any internet famous sorta people when you're unhealthily online. She wasn't always this fucking crazy, right? Out in the open I mean?

I recall that she seemed at least a little bit out there, and there was the blatant fabulism when she made up the story about Jesse Singal's uncontrollable lust for tranny cock. But the last couple months, what with apparently fucking the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Troon and now providing extensive blow-by-blow of her fantasy genital disasters, I feel like this is on another level.

It depends what you mean, I guess. I think her fabulism has always been there, just told in small stories where the stakes are low but she tells them like they're the most Dramatic Thing Ever. When she tries to fuse these stories with a cause, it gets downright creepy (going after Jeff Goldblum, dating her bully). It is true, however, that she is a fine advice columnist. It's just that some spigot turns when she's on Twitter and social media, and it's just a deluge of every thought. No one could sustain sanity at that level.

Was reading Nicole's post again and got stuck on this. It's totally fine for this 400lb dude to comment on her body and her health relative to her size. It's a good thing! It's true! It was honest and brave.

I won't even suggest imagining a reverse situation, where any woman suggests to Micah that being 400lbs in your 30s isn't a picture of health and it being received like this. You can't. You know exactly the rage it would inspire.

The fact that her only takeaway from this is that society is "so fatphobic" is just so off the mark. Maybe doctors have internalized the fact from the fat community that they are not supposed to bring up weight when their patients come in for something else. Sorry your doctor is bad, but you apparently bought new clothes to fit your emaciated frame instead of getting a better doctor and an ultrasound. Help me understand you.

Also, she claims to have had a UTI back in November 15, 2021.


She said she felt bad in December and January but did not "feel" the cup until January because her cervix was low and she could reach inside it. Could she have lost it up there before November? Or is her timeline off?