Obscure Laughingstocks - Lolcows without substantial online presence.

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The Jumping Dwarf said:
I enjoy YouTube Poop, but the community is autistic as fuck. Youchew.net is a spergfest.
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I ignore all that. I just watch the stupid videos and laugh. :autism:

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This lady was mentioned a few days ago at the maria (craftybeautydiva1) board over on gurugossip.

https://www.youtube.com/user/happilyeverafter99

moonface check

kid plopped in front of tv check

cheapass dollar tree makeup check

"stay at home mom" check.
 
This would be best posted here, as the game company in question doesn't chimp out. They usually sweep criticism under the rug.

I mentioned a dev ripping off somebody's adult-themed concept art for their barmaid NPC in their latest game. As with all their scandals, this was swept under the rug.

What I think is facepalm-worthy is that the devs still bleat the mantra that PC-web gaming is over and mobile is the next big thing, despite plenty of people pointing out that they are already established on the web. Even if their biggest MMO is derided as a dress up game instead of a Flash RPG.

They also have a bad habit of abandoning their older games and never revising them. Perfect for making one-time mobile apps, sure, but the web games suffer for it.
 
I was debating if I should post this in the weeaboo community watch but I think it goes better here since it's dead.
Gaijinpot.com is a website with resources for people living or interested in Japan.
The forums have some chunks of gold. The forum registration has been locked for years, and for good reason. Many threads devolved into slap fights between bitter users, particularly the relationship forum. Not to mention members with barely concealed racism.
http://forum.gaijinpot.com/forum/
There is no new milk to be had, the newest posts (or maybe just the ones you can see) are from 2013, but it's pretty funny to look through. Some threads I enjoyed.
http://forum.gaijinpot.com/forum/li...ros-and-cons-about-divorcing-a-japanese-wife/
- 'you are a horrible father'

Hijinx View Post
Japanese are not known for their critical thinking--some actually resist. Don't bother your poor girlfriend with things that disturb her Kyary Pamyu Pamyu-everything-is-cute-peace-vee-sign-happy-happy world.
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http://forum.gaijinpot.com/forum/li...27-japanese-girlfriend-telling-me-to-shut-up/

http://forum.gaijinpot.com/forum/living-in-japan/relationships/96533-blow-up-doll-wife

http://forum.gaijinpot.com/forum/li...7-why-can-t-a-teacher-have-sex-with-a-student

Example outside relationship forums

http://forum.gaijinpot.com/forum/co...ever-been-beat-up-down-by-a-japanese-person-s
-I believe that happened
It's all old stuff but if you enjoy reading through this sort of thing you can find some funny things. Weeaboos, loveshies, and people who like to make fun of them intermingled with serious posts.
I also can't remember the name but there was a guy who had a blog that dealt with life and marriage in Japan but after his divorce it turned into mostly posting anti-Japanese propaganda. I'll try and find him but either way it's funny. To me at least.
 
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Verging into horror-cow territory, here's Gregg Valentino, a controversial figure in the bodybuilding world, both for his massive steroid abuse, and his poor understanding of needle hygiene. Which, unsurprisingly, led to this:


On a related note, most body builders that abuse synthol fall into the lolcow/horrorcow camps too. There's a tragic, ironic, almost Slaton-esque quality about these guys. They've forced their bodies into extreme sizes, not understanding (or not wanting to) the long-term damage they've done in the process.


Plus, they all look like fucking balloons, too.
 
I was going put this in DeviantArt Horrors, but then I did a bit of digging about the artist and discovered some very interesting information.

At first glance, asalover (powerword: Asa Capra) may seem like another dA sperg who draws awful MS Paint scribbles. However, a quick Google search of his name reveals another story.

Turns out he's the brother of actors Francis Capra and Chanel Capra. You may remember Francis from Veronica Mars and films such as Free Willy 2 where he stared alongside his sister Chanel. Their younger brother, it seems, has not enjoyed the same level of (relative) success.

Instead of forging an acting career for himself (or any kind of career), he spends his time drawing MS Paint pictures of various female cartoon characters in bikinis.

candace_hula_hoop_by_asalover-d7zv4qj.jpg


total_drama_bikini_babes___beth_by_asalover-d8vzgvn.jpg


the_powerpuff_girl_s_bikini_christmas_by_asalover-d9knqzm.png

He's made so many of these that I'm pretty sure it's a fetish. Well, it is when he's not drawing them naked.

candy_mabel_and_grenda_skinny_dipping_by_asalover-d9dagdf.png

And if you thought those were lazy, you ain't seen nothing yet.

candace_and_stacy_in_jack_o_lantern_bikinis_by_asalover-d9esbw6.png


candace_and_stacy_s_bikini_christmas_by_asalover-d9jzzcv.png

When he's not drawing pictures like that he does MS Paint pictures of other popular cartoon characters. Are these better than his fap fuel? See for yourself:

mickey_mouse_by_asalover-d9mf8ti.png


spongebob_wishing_you_a_merry_christmas_2015_by_asalover-d9ley8c.png

And when he's not doing that he's posting really odd text pictures in tribute to various character relationships in cartoons he likes. At least I think that's what this is.

lyra_and_sweetie_drops_friendship_by_asalover-d984bgk.jpg

And he's a member of the autism pride gang.

Autism pride.png


I'm sure you are Asa, I'm sure you are...

I also found his twitter, but there's not much on there except a few retweets from some autism foundations. He has a YouTube channel though and it turns out he's a GoAnimate sperg.


It looks like he might have had beef with another YouTube user but from what I could tell that was a few years ago and he doesn't seem that active on the channel. Other than that there don't seem to be any chimpouts from him, so that at least puts him ahead of a certain other person with a famous sibling. Still, I wonder whether his brother and sister are aware of what their younger brother gets up to online...
 
TheImportantFart said:
I also found his twitter, but there's not much on there except a few retweets from some autism foundations. He has a YouTube channel though and it turns out he's a GoAnimate sperg.
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That video might be the most satisfying GoAnimate spergery I've ever seen. Granted, it lacks a lot of the classic elements e.g. Chuck E. Cheese and "you're grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded," but just how badly it fails is spectacular... first the images cutting out, then the sound... then the uploader yelling about Linux or something... it's like autism mixed with ADHD.
 
From a film-related Capra family? He related to Frank by any chance? If so I'd imagine he's spinning in his grave right now.
 
My friend showed me this guy a couple days ago. It might be a :ruse:, though if it is, the guy's really committed to the bit. He's an adult baby whose whole channel is about being an adult baby. Here are some videos:

He also has a Tumblr, a Twitter, and a blog from 2011. At first, I thought about making a thread for him, but I don't think he has enough content, or chimps out.
 
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Darwin Watterson said:
My friend showed me this guy a couple days ago. It might be a :ruse:, though if it is, the guy's really committed to the bit. He's an adult baby whose whole channel is about being an adult baby. Here are some videos:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=ayqohpsZllQ
https://youtube.com/watch?v=hPAMmHs9Knw
https://youtube.com/watch?v=-ReYiXhwHfQ
https://youtube.com/watch?v=EHvAQbyG1oo

He also has a Tumblr, a Twitter, and a blog from 2011. At first, I thought about making a thread for him, but I don't think he has enough content, or chimps out.
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oh, this guy. he's actually a pretty nice guy, a YouTube commentator did a video on him and he didn't care. He surprisingly has a job, and has a video where he trys on work clothes.
 
So last night I happened to catch a special episode of the cooking show Restaurant Impossible last night. It's about an angry British chef named Robert Irvine who fixes other people's terrible restaurants, or tries to, at least. This episode was a countdown of the ten absolute worst restaurants he's ever seen, and, naturally, many of the people he encountered were lolcows.

Special mention, of course, must go the #1 spot, which was a little fat guy who owned a seafood restaurant called "Rascal's." He was a hoarder, but he didn't keep THE HOARD in his house, oh no. He kept it in the restaurant. Meaning his customers had to eat with THE HOARD right there. Irvine found dead animals and rancid food aplenty on the premises, including spoiled beer which apparently smells terrible. He spent thousands of dollars fixing the place up, including using stuff from THE HOARD as raw material, and how did the owner thank him? He told the press that Irvine had planted the disgusting things he found, and went merrily back to reaccumulating THE HOARD before the Health Department finally got him. Good riddance.

#8 was a restaurant owned by an entire lolfamily, specifically with the son (who was late 30s-early 40s) as the owner and head chef and his parents as the main investors. The son was definitely a sadcow - a legitimately skilled and once-passionate chef who had basically all his hopes and dreams crushed by his abominable Chandleresque parents, particularly his mother (the dad was pussywhipped). Irvine only managed to help the guy improve once he could catch him alone, without his parents.

Other "winners" included a restaurant whose dirty little secret was that they had no chef on staff whatsoever - almost all their food was prepared microwavable stuff. Two other chefs actually threatened Irvine (who's HUGE and was in the Royal Marines by the way) with physical violence for telling them their shitty restaurants were shitty.
 
Guy isn't a real cow because he doesn't respond to criticism or make a fool of himself on the internet, but I found this story to be amusing:

There's an Ontario Hockey League team called the Flint Firebirds (yes, that Flint). They're a minor league hockey team.

The team was purchased by this guy last year and moved from Plymouth to Flint:

635826562437976568-Whalers-011415-0209-JJT.jpg


Earlier this year the above, Rolf Nilsen, fired the coach and assistant coach of the team. The reason? Because the coaches didn't play Nilsen's son, a defenseman, enough. The players staged a walkout, the league stepped in, and the coaches were rehired with better contracts.

Five months later, Nilsen fired the coaches again and appointed a new coach. Players don't report to practice (the only one who did, reportedly, was Nilsen's son). The League steps in and suspends the owner and all of his appointees in management, including the temporary coach. The team has a game tonight, but no coach.

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/spor...r-coaching-staff-fired-again/article28798871/

Because the minor leagues feed into the NHL, a lot of players have felt their careers at risk ever since the first firings so there have been a flood of players angling and succeeding to be traded away. The team is basically falling apart in the aftermath of all of this.

http://www.sportsnet.ca/hockey/juniors/the-widespread-damage-caused-by-firestorm-in-flint/
 
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Tim "Shoebox" Crist is a "comedy" musician who has made some very cringeworthy music over the years, with his band "Worm Quartet." He has been active since the early 1990's, and describes his music as "comedy synth punk," utilizing random humor. The guy has had a small amount of success, and he apparently was popular on The Dr. Demento Show in the early 2000's.

Now, you may be asking, besides terrible music, how is this guy interesting. Well, I'll let this video speak for itself.


Of course, he was apparently hamming it up for the camera.

http://www.thefump.com/blog_entry.php?id=3&blog=1894

Still though, talking about only pretending to be retarded.

Oh, and his music. Well, it is something to say the least. This is probably the most interesting one he's put out. He spends a good chunk of the song complaining about being fat.


I don't think he's really threadworthy, but still interesting to say the least. He's like an improved David Tanny.
 
This guy's a historic example all the way from 2002.
Sean J. Nichols, the man behind the obscure and most likely lost forever game The Last Resurrection, which was his autistic fedoralord rant about how Jesus was a Nazi and how we should exterminate religion.
Even though the game is forever gone, you can still experience it in book format here.
WARNING:
THIS STORY IS HIGHLY OFFENSIVE--IT CONTAINS HOMOSEXUALITY, SEX, ANTI-CHRISTIAN WORLDS, AND A LOT OF PROFANITY. DO NOT READ THIS IF ANY OF THESE WOULD OFFEND YOU.

The episodes numbers in the book are different than in the video game. There are small parts left out from the video game, and a LOT added in relation to the game. This game is written for atheist, Wiccan, Satanist, Luciferinian, Pagan, Jewish, Pantheist, Freethinker, ect. type people. The story is a parody of Christianity, how Christians like to place the "white" and "black" hat on things making them good and evil. The story does a role reversal to make fun of this and show what it would be like if Christian dogma was reality.

This story contains a lot of lesbianism. I am a male, and I hope you understand I'm not a little physco kid "beating it off" to this stuff. I myself am bi-sexual, I know plenty about lesbianism through books and friends. The main character is bi-sexual, and is a succubus (Kalista). She tells the history of her life up to present day. So please, if you think I'm a pervert or whatever (I'm not really), just think of me as Kalista. Kalista is my female side trying to get out and this story is my expression of this. Enjoy..
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His chimpout at negative reviews is great. He calls everyone a bunch of "biggots" and demands asspats.

He seems to have dropped of the radar though.
 
Randall Fragg said:
This guy's a historic example all the way from 2002.
Sean J. Nichols, the man behind the obscure and most likely lost forever game The Last Resurrection, which was his autistic fedoralord rant about how Jesus was a Nazi and how we should exterminate religion.
Even though the game is forever gone, you can still experience it in book format here.


His chimpout at negative reviews is great. He calls everyone a bunch of "biggots" and demands asspats.

He seems to have dropped of the radar though.
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Oh man I remember seeing this on Portal of Evil back in the day and cringing so hard
 
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