Incredibly late but I've been reading through this thread for the past few hours.. found this gem of a pic in the archive @GREEDY FIREMAN posted and had to do a double take...
EDIT whoops, forgot the spoiler..What the actual fuck is wrong with her right tit?
Given it looks like her stomach's flopping madly behind her arm in that one, maybe she was a fatty (or pregnant) who suddenly drastically lost weight? Either way, it's somewhat creepy.
A personal goldmine of mine back in the day was the now-defunct "Midna Fan Forum," a fan community dedicated to a character from the 2006 video game The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess. The members there were obsessed with this character to an unhealthy degree, doing everything from writing her passionate love letters to speculating on what she might smell like. Here's just a few of the enthralling topics one could find on a given day:
Everybody there was batshit, but a personal "favorite" user of mine was Manas101 (real name Drew), who called himself "Midna's Eternal Lover" and was convinced he was married to her. He had made over ten thousand posts on the forum at the time of its closing, would post pictures of his room covered in Midna-related merchandise and literally hundreds of dollars in commissioned artwork of her, and wrote self-insert fanfiction with the most hideous thesaurus-abusing purple prose you can imagine, including an erotic short story of his and Midna's first time that I am sadly unable to find now but in which I vividly recall he describes her "seminal fluids." Yes, the guy genuinely thought vaginas produce semen.He's actually still around on deviantART; despite swearing up and down that he'd be Midna's loyal husband 5ever he inevitably hopped on the brony bandwagon and immediately transferred all of his affections to MLP's Queen Chrysalis character, calling himself her slave and gushing about how he wanted her to abuse him. As of this writing he has abandoned Queen Chrysalis as well, and is currently obsessed with some D-list actress named Eva Green. Yes, he still decorates his room with pictures of her and writes terrible poetry about her, except this time it's extra creepy because she's, you know, a real fucking person.
The forum shut down for good about a year ago, so these screenshots were gleaned from the Wayback Machine and there's really no more entertainment value to be had, but I leave you now with a post from a sticky thread titled "Midna, my love..." that was literally just FOUR HUNDRED FUCKING PAGES of grown men talking about how they cry themselves to sleep at night over a video game character.
She claims to have gotten a masters in astrophysics from university in Exeter and doesn't seem to have much internet drama surrounding her other than people noting she is a weirdo so i dont know if she would qualify for real lolcow status. But she makes a lot of weird sexually suggestive artworks of those aliens.
At some point she also wants to make a "Nemoidian skin-suit" to wear
"My upcoming plans for full-body Neimoidian "skin," made from a spandex bodysuit. I intend to go as a Neimoidian dancer (and actually dance!) to my next convention, and this will play a large role in my costume."
She claims to have gotten a masters in astrophysics from university in Exeter and doesn't seem to have much internet drama surrounding her other than people noting she is a weirdo so i dont know if she would qualify for real lolcow status. But she makes a lot of weird sexually suggestive artworks of those aliens.
At some point she also wants to make a "Nemoidian skin-suit" to wear
"My upcoming plans for full-body Neimoidian "skin," made from a spandex bodysuit. I intend to go as a Neimoidian dancer (and actually dance!) to my next convention, and this will play a large role in my costume."
Meet Trevor Hamberger. I'd almost consider posting a thread about him since his shit is so wacky but since he only farts it out on Facebook I don't know how much content there'd be.
He thinks everyone (including Donald Trump) is a communist, denies germ theory, thinks AIDS is a lie, thinks anyone who isn't a Christian should be forcibly converted or executed, was cheering on the PP shooter, is a racist but mainly listens to black rappers, thinks psychology is mind control, thinks Sandy Hook/Paris terror attacks/etc. didn't happen, thinks ISIS is a false flag, claims that homosexuality isn't a choice but that it's caused by nutrient deficiencies in the mother, wants to overthrow democracy so that people can have REAL freedom, claims that all diseases are caused by mineral deficiency, thinks he'll live to be 140 with some wacky diet he's invented, thinks The Protocols of the Elders of Zion is a historical document and that Jews did 9/11 (and everything else bad that has ever happened) despite being Jewish himself, etc. etc. etc. Basically, take a neo-fascist and mix in an anti-vaxer and you have Trevor.
Ironically, given his hard right stances on most things and his insistence that drugs don't work/have no benefits at all, he's a drug using degenerate who was arrested for carrying drug paraphernalia.
This was a superb post and a great read. Then, having enjoyed the post, and b/c I don't know much bout vidya, I imagesearched Midna to see what this irresistible enchantress looked like.
wow
she's... a tiny, plump child? Seriously. That's a chubby toddler in a helmet. Suddenly the obsessive midna-love went from being charmingly pathetic to extremely creepy and vile.
This was a superb post and a great read. Then, having enjoyed the post, and b/c I don't know much bout vidya, I imagesearched Midna to see what this irresistible enchantress looked like.
wow
she's... a tiny, plump child? Seriously. That's a chubby toddler in a helmet. Suddenly the obsessive midna-love went from being charmingly pathetic to extremely creepy and vile.
(sorry for powerleveling here for a bit) To be fair, she is an adult; the plot of the game reveals that the antagonist put her under a disfiguring curse. She looks like this when the curse is lifted at the end of the game; obviously an adult and way more humanoid (albeit with red eyes and gray skin).
Still, 99% of the people on the MFF had the hots for the cursed "troll child" version of her, so make of that what you will. It's also kind of disconcerting when you consider that the character openly laments her cursed appearance in-game and is very obviously overjoyed to have her old body back at the end. They all claim to love her so much and yet fetishize the version of herself that she hates.
Seemed like the best place for this. It was retweeted by my own personal lolcow I follow on Twitter (who I should write about in the Personal Lolcow thread one of this days, but regardless):
Seemed like the best place for this. It was retweeted by my own personal lolcow I follow on Twitter (who I should write about in the Personal Lolcow thread one of this days, but regardless):
His name is Gary Larrabee. He's pretty much just a run of the mill devout Christian and crazy conspiracy theorist/ 9/11 truther. I just find it funny that he makes these videos that run for as long as half an hour, and just sits there, with the same facial expression and tone of voice. He has posted multiple videos a day since July and provided his phone number for anyone to see in his channel description. His videos receive positive reactions, I don't know how. I usually get bored within 10 seconds of any given video.
A couple of years ago this guy might've been a decent candidate for a thread. As is, he hasn't been active for a fair old while and his days of chimping out are largely behind him.
tigerbreath13 is a deviantART furry/foot fetishist who draws godawful MS Paint pictures of (mainly) animals, particularly big cats. He did this for about four years and his artwork didn't improve in the slightest. Here's a smattering from the chamber of horrors:
Now, artists like this are a dime a dozen on dA so you might be quick to dismiss him and look for a proper trainwreck.
However, tigerbreath is distinguished by two traits:
1) He's a member of the "autism pride" gang and feels the need to remind people of this at every opportunity. He believes that his autism is a gift (because a psychological disorder that causes you to sit around all day drawing awful MS Paint art and prevents you from functioning properly in society is totally a gift) and entitles him to every get out of jail free card in the book which brings me onto his second trait:
2) He absolutely despises criticism.
tigerbreath first came to my attention because of the BlackBusterCritic. BBC called out a couple of his friends in the tickle/foot fetish community. One was Tooner because of his unhealthy obsession with Swayer from Cats Don't Dance and the other was someone called Walnuts who incorporated toddler-aged characters into his fetish art.
While Walnuts stopped drawing fetish art with underage characters and Tooner simply whined about BBC's jabs at him, tigerbreath went absolutely mental. I unfortunately don't have the picture because it was BALEETED, but he drew BBC being torn apart by his MS Paint animals, called him a monster and raged everywhere he could about the mean old BBC. Here's a sample of his raging:
Oh yeah, and he hates Barney too. Like, *really* hates it. Possibly more than Barneyfag (if that's possible). How exactly this lines up with his friendship with Tooner is unknown (Tooner loves Barney), but I suspect it may be his attempt to be "edgy".
He also might win the prize for most stamps on a dA profile. I can't be bothered to paste them all here (go check out his page if you wanna see them) so I'll just post my favourites here:
Those probably sum him up better than I ever could.
Interestingly, despite his apparent hatred of criticism he actually requested a deviantSHART episode on himself, so he could be classed as an attention whore/skitzocow too.
Like I say, he hasn't posted any artwork in over a year and seems to have drifted away from dA but once upon a time I think he could've made quite the promising little lolcalf.
I stumbled upon this guy yesterday evening, and I'm still kind of reeling from what I found. This shit almost feels to me like it deserves its own thread, but I don't want to jump the gun in case it's lackluster. I'm really not sure where to begin, so forgive me if any of this is incoherent.
Long story short, I went on a nostalgia bender last night and looked up the archives of the old Nintendo NSider forums. This was the little community Nintendo of America made for Nintendo Power readers circa 2002 or so, and I lurked it pretty religiously as a kid. Looking back, it was a pretty cringey little community, heavily moderated and full of goofy eleven-year-old sperglets writing terrible fanfic about Mario and Zelda.
There was this one poster, AntiRocketCloudy, who had a gimmick of roleplaying as Ludwig von Koopa and absolutely refused to break character. Dude was verbose and mouthy, often getting into weird little spats with the other posters. He was fairly (in)famous there and managed to garner both fans and detractors for his koopa spergery. I came upon a mention of his name and thought, "Huh, I remember that guy. I wonder what he's doing now", so I looked up his username. It crossed my mind that he may have kept the schtick up, but I expected him to have moved on, maybe conducting himself in a more mature manner under the same username, maybe having ditched the persona altogether. As you will shortly see, I expect far too much of people.
AntiRocketCloudy (now going by Prince of Koopas, or Prince Ludwig) runs a bizarre political/"humor" blog called KoopaTV.org. I'm gonna be a lazy bitch and let him explain for me.
Prince Ludwig said:
What is KoopaTV?
KoopaTV is a videogame commentary website that updates five times a week. Every article is essentially an op-ed on some topic involving the videogame industry, many times with a political slant.
One vehicle for that is the (fair & balanced) KoopaTV, which is a videogame version of former Republican presidential candidate Herman Cain's "Best of Cain" site, formerly called "CainTV". KoopaTV is all about the dual values of truth and levity. We publish high-quality articles every weekday, and we are proud of our "infotainment" status.
Apparently, this blog is jointly owned and co-moderated by "Vortexica" and "Kamek". In my meager skimmings, I've mostly just seen content by Prince Ludwig, so I have no clue if these guys are even real. Other, ex-staff members are listed below, and their reasons for departure range from "being at odds with the rest of the staff" (read: Prince Ludwig) to "becoming radicalized and joining ISIS", so chances are they're probably headmates.
He makes flash games, too. They're as confusing and terrible as the rest of his website. All four are partially based in real-life happenings, with weird Nintendo-themed Random Access Humor thrown in. Even though he self-IDs as far political right, one of the games is about defending Anita Sarkeesian from haters? Shit's confusing, I dunno.
Of especial note is his latest masterpiece, Capture the Confederate Flag, where you're General Lee as a dog Pokémon or some shit and you have to put the stars and bars on all the Confederate States while Hillary Clinton chases you around, and then you get on a fucking KKK Metagross and have some kind of laser duel in the sky with Abraham Lincoln. Prince Ludwig does all the voice acting for that game, and even sings in his creepy, lispy hick voice. In case you'd rather not slog through that game, here's a sample of his lovely crooning below.
And here he is advertising some sort of rewards program for frequent commenters or something. "HAY FOKES!"
Not sure where else I can go with this, so here's some random links.
I posted this in another thread but I'll post it here too just because I consider this story to be legendary.
Years ago I heard about a guy who set up a cronjob to automatically post "ok, kid" in YouTube comment threads. This one guy called Shane Anderson somehow got in an argument with this bot that's only function is to literally say "ok, kid" in response, and this "argument" lasted for weeks.
Not exactly a full-blown lolcow, but I still find this story impressive.
