The Cole Smithey Thread

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Rraargh! I enjoyed [film] and Coleslaw didn't review it well because he sucks at his job! He is clearly the Pol Pot to Chris's Hitler!
 
Mashed Potato Grenade said:
This would be a fucking dream come true.
Is there any possibility to do that?
(Perhaps telling him that's his ticket to get closer to his brother and thus getting Cole to take care of Barb?)
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Well, either Chris' current troll would have to do it, or we'd need to wait for Chris to go broke.
 
unfer said:
Such a double-edged sword, Chris's void of self-awareness. If he had a little he'd realise the best way to get back at his JERK BRO is by eclipsing his view counts with his own masterful critiques. Someone spread him the fact! It's even somewhat true! :asperchu:

Imagine Chris smiting his windbag brother with customary terseness...

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BOOM! Take that, cinemafags!
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I can almost imagine the crinkling sound as he shakes his head
 
I totally understand why Cole wouldn't want to have anything to do with the Chandlers but he should swallow his pride and make a fast buck. He should be capitalizing on Chris' notoriety or making an indie documentary about his fucked up relatives. If Tommy Wiseau can forget his colossal ego and embrace/bank on his cult status then why shouldn't Cole? Think he's missing a trick there. Not like he's going to be famous for anything but being Chris' brother
 
anephric said:
The connection to Chris just compounds the horror of it: it's like seeing Mirror Universe Chris because Cole is a functioning adult with the same fucking unearned ego and narccicsm his more famous and successful autistic brother has.
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I like Chris and actually sympathize with his plight some of the time. Yeah, he's a giant dick himself, but it's understandable why he's that way. He's sort of a microcosm of the Internet itself and you can, at times, see yourself in him.

I just want to see bad things happen to Cole over and over again. There's no real objective basis for this, and I'm sure I'm being irrational about it, but I just hate him and want to see him punched in the face.
 
AnOminous said:
I like Chris and actually sympathize with his plight some of the time. Yeah, he's a giant dick himself, but it's understandable why he's that way. He's sort of a microcosm of the Internet itself and you can, at times, see yourself in him.

I just want to see bad things happen to Cole over and over again. There's no real objective basis for this, and I'm sure I'm being irrational about it, but I just hate him and want to see him punched in the face.
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Cole's could have more pathos if his life was recorded as thoroughly as Chris's. He had to grow up with Barb and no fatherly figure, after all. But even then it's easy to symphatize with Chris because despite his countless defects and nonexistent virtues, he's just a man-sized boy in a scary world he couldn't possibly fit it, whereas Cole is a plain douchebag.
 
Sperglord Dante said:
Cole's could have more pathos if his life was recorded as thoroughly as Chris's. He had to grow up with Barb and no fatherly figure, after all. But even then it's easy to symphatize with Chris because despite his countless defects and nonexistent virtues, he's just a man-sized boy in a scary world he couldn't possibly fit it, whereas Cole is a plain douchebag.
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The only reason I don't go out of my way to fuck with Cole is that he's actually suffered the worst thing that could happen to someone like him. He considers himself some sort of genius and yet, no matter what he does, his entire life is a footnote in the history of his much more important half-brother.

The only reason his name is even as known as it is is because he's related to a giant autist. That has to burn.
 
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