🗑️ Trashfire Ethan Ralph vs. Mister Metokur & Gator - It's finally happening

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Who did the worse beating?

  • The 14-year-old transgender prostitute in Lisbon.

    Votes: 599 24.7%

  • A Minnesota cancer patient.

    Votes: 1,304 53.9%

  • Mundane "Boulder King" Matt Jarbo.

    Votes: 518 21.4%
  • Total voters
    2,421
Ralph is going off
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cocaigne said:
good shit @WhimsicalTrolli but have you heard my latest rap?

here it is:
View attachment 2940352
FEAR
What must it be like to live in abject fear?

Not the everyday variety. Life is hard, and we’re all scared, to some degree. Sickness, death, birth, life…the mysteries of existence. These things have torn at the psyche of great (and lesser) men since time began.

Fear itself is not new.

What I’m talking about is a different kind of fear. One that keeps you from leaving your house. One that causes you to change the name you were born with. One that pushes you into deluding your fellow citizens into the nightmare COVID regime.

All because, at your core, you are a scared, old man who’s simply afraid to die.

You’ve never had any real convictions your whole life. You’re proud of that, even! Or, so you say. In reality, you are a scared child praying, hoping, wishing that you could escape your just rewards. You’ll do anything, suck off any one, to avoid it. You simply can’t live as you have portrayed yourself. It’s too much! You cry about it in Twitter dm’s, you whine to your fat Asian hog….but deep down, you know this is what you signed up for.

And you can’t fucking stand it.

You entire life is a fabrication. You duck and dive and do whatever you possibly can to avoid the piper getting paid. You put your own family at risk. You do anything, anything at all, to avoid simply owning up to your deeds. You have no core whatsoever, and what you do claim as personality traits are simply things you read on a message board.

Most people would see this as a hellish existence…because it is.

There are mistakes I have made, to be sure. But I could never, and would never, live like a fucking bitch. Scared to leave my house…scared of the name my Daddy gave me…scared of fucking COVID…scared of anything and everything.

It’s all terror to you when the microphone is off.

We all know it, too. It’s very easy to see a scared old man, coughing up one of his last breaths in between lame monologues that weren’t even funny 2 years ago, much less now.

I literally would have rather died in the street the other day here in Lisbon than live like a fucking coward, if you can even call what I described above as “living.”

Some people are fine with the delusions. They are comforted by them, even. I understand! I, too, used to love the thought of Santa Claus, or the Easter Bunny, or the Tooth Fairy. But there comes a time when childish delusions about a childless loser must come to an end.

It’s the natural course of life, you see.

Well, if you actually live life. If you live like scared, old, bitch…well, maybe you continue on in your delusions.

I won’t hold it against you!

The Emperor has no clothes, he has no children, and he has very few white blood cells left (allegedly).

Maybe, in another life, he wasn’t such a pussy.

See you tomorrow night on the Killstream!

archive.md

Fear

archived 1 Feb 2022 03:26:13 UTC
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:story: I cannot wait for Killstream tomorrow.
 
Ralph has to know, right? We all know he's fucking stupid, but he's not this stupid. In no world can he think he's gonna pull out a win on this, right?
 
Ralph barely ever writes, I'm assuming his seething impotency is pushing his blood pressure through the roof right now. At this rate he might not even need the air pressure change of an aeroplane trip to make his head explode.

Face fucked up, in a foreign country, half his shit stolen, and now the biggest betrayal yet. What a 5 star day.
 
Insanely Retarded said:
He mentions twitter DMs in his drug fueled rant, I wonder if that will be his next move, to release messages that he thinks will expose Metokur.

Also for someone writing about "fear" he's awfully afraid to name the person he's talking about.
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He does close the letter mentioning tomorrow night's stream, and he usually does release about half of one of his person specific folders that he keeps on his desktop for everybody he associates with along with a show the night after his temper tantrum.

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make_it_so said:
Nah, I don't think that's how Jim rolls.

What the fuck is this shit?

Does Ralph think this is some kind of "own?" Jim's entire online persona - and one that he's embraced, mind you - is that he's just a random schmuck on the internet who likes to shitpost and laugh at things he thinks is funny, giving his takes on various internet and IRL drama. He's never tried to portray himself as some kind of leader or guru and would probably laugh at anyone who said he was. There's nothing for Ralph to take down, because there's nothing Jim has ever put out there.

I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm getting flashbacks to Sargon's personal crusade against Jim a few years ago for not taking his political career seriously. We all know how that turned out.
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I seem to remember an old just-post-IA stream where Jim basically said exactly that, he would change online names and go quiet for ages because he really didn't want to 'lead around a group', he wanted more to laugh at the internet.
 
He is such a pussy that he doesn't even have the balls to directly mention Metokur. Pathetic and womanly behavior, Ralph. Keep sneeding in your Lisbon basement, though. You are really owning Warski.
 
Hey! O Shaughnesee.... ahem.. I mean Augustine. There's a grave with your name on it.

FEAR ME
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Holy fucking shit Ralph.

This is why you are a Lolcow, this is the most predictable thing everybody said would happen as soon as Jim says anything negative about you publicly.

  • Allude to knowing Jim’s new name
  • Call his wife fat
  • Call Jim a pussy
  • Say he‘s never made good content.
Like. Fucking. Clockwork
 
Hüftpriester said:
But January 2022 has to be unprecedented in Gunt lore. It's pretty fucking crazy to think about everything that's happened to him this month.

- a black man saves him from dying of hypothermia after he strands himself on a backroad during a blizzard.
- narrowly avoids jail time for revenge porn
- falls out with Warski, plans a spite trip with his e-daddy who backs out at the last minute. gets bullied into going to Portugal alone.
- has an autistic hippy show up at his house during the fuck ralph festival to leave the gift of diapers. doesn't do shit about it cause he's a fat pussy.
- goes to Portugal and gets his ass kicked to the point of needing surgery to repair his busted up face, lol
- burns the bridge with Daddy Jim in epic white trash fashion. gator finally draws the line and will take his broom elsewhere, probably to flamenco's channel.

I feel like I'm still forgetting something but damn, Ralph is pushing the limits of public humiliation. It's truly something to behold.
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Buys the new Gunt shitbox
 
I’ve got fucking douchechills reading Ralph’s break up letter. My god what an enormous faggot. It’s wild that just weeks ago we thought the end of Ralph was going to be him freezing in his car. We all laughed at how dumb it was. the based black farmer saving him. Now he’s sitting in a dark, dank Portuguese basement airbnb, face and body completely mangled, not able to leave for days, absolutely broke, watching everyone he thought would always have his back take turns dunking on his goofy ass. This doesn’t even seem real.
 
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