🗑️ Trashfire PPP: Pig's Passage to Portugal - Update 1/26 - Ralph got his ass kicked and murse stolen. Turns out, the citizens of Portugal are NOT big fans of the Killstream

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What actually led to Ralph's beating?

  • Official narrative, chased robber to defend his property (Manpurse, €150) and 1 VS 4 epic fight.

    Votes: 80 3.4%

  • Beaten by the pimp of an underaged prostitute.

    Votes: 755 32.0%

  • Tumbled down the steep streets like a loose boulder.

    Votes: 153 6.5%

  • Beaten by a gang of drug dealers.

    Votes: 476 20.2%

  • Uttered something stupid in front of locals.

    Votes: 850 36.0%

  • Tried to put his trotters on Warski's sister.

    Votes: 47 2.0%
  • Total voters
    2,361
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Pisstrooper said:
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It's just a like a movie guyyyys
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Same Energy
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Blue Miaplacidus said:
he had two phones, an iphone and an android, looks like they stole the iphone

I think it lends more evidence to the black out drunk started shit with the wrong people theory, first it was all a bit blurry, now he doesn't know if there were 3 or 4, and it was broad daylight? Dude, if you legit got into a fight that ended in that bad of a beating I'm pretty sure as shit you would remember exactly how many people were whooping your ass if you weren't black out drunk acting like a nigger.

edit; oh I see it was a "what if" fake tweet
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That explains why the horse’s Twitter went silent for so long. He was probably using the second phone to post from her account
 
Roman Gunt Guard said:
Looks like Ralph's shit got pushed in.

Everyday we grow closer to May being a single mother.

Karma's a bitch Gunt.
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Gunt probably got wasted at some bar and tried to hire an escort who wasn't a whore at all, but someone's girlfriend, then got the beat down he deserved from the guy and his friends. We can safely dismiss the mugging cover story as bullshit; Nobody would mug the gunt because he has nothing worth taking.
 
Christorian X said:
This is actually an insanely good point. His body is certainly going to be in withdrawal at this point. The hospital may very well be forced to put him in a detox program during recovery.

For the first time in years, if not over a decade, the Gunt could actually find himself seeing the world through sober eyes as he stares back at the horrendous path of destruction he has left behind him as well as what he is returning home to. The question is, does he run out and double down by going full Bluto and chugging a full bottle of whiskey straight or come to some clarity?

Who the fuck am I kidding...Makers will be seeing record profits this year.
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That's no joke, alcohol withdrawal can kill hardcore alcoholics admitted to the hospital. You have to tell them or risk dying if they don't put in an ethanol drip.
 
free_protons4u said:
It’s almost 5 pm in Portugal. No updates. Surgery was in the morning.

At what point does a local start to call the hospitals to try to pick up 200 kg of fresh bacon?
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Who the fuck is there with him to call with an update? He'll be in ICU unconscious post-op for a long time.

EDIT: especially if the jaws are wired shut.

EDIT2: I would give myself the Late tag if I could.
 
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