🗑️ Trashfire PPP: Pig's Passage to Portugal - Update 1/26 - Ralph got his ass kicked and murse stolen. Turns out, the citizens of Portugal are NOT big fans of the Killstream

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What actually led to Ralph's beating?

  • Official narrative, chased robber to defend his property (Manpurse, €150) and 1 VS 4 epic fight.

    Votes: 80 3.4%

  • Beaten by the pimp of an underaged prostitute.

    Votes: 755 32.0%

  • Tumbled down the steep streets like a loose boulder.

    Votes: 153 6.5%

  • Beaten by a gang of drug dealers.

    Votes: 476 20.2%

  • Uttered something stupid in front of locals.

    Votes: 850 36.0%

  • Tried to put his trotters on Warski's sister.

    Votes: 47 2.0%
  • Total voters
    2,361
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BLAZE said:
Those hands look pretty manly. I'm pretty sure anybody involved in anything that happened with the Gunt during the epic 1v4 fight would not open up an account and sell it themselves. So it wouldn't surprise me if it was fenced somehow or it's being sold by a "woman" who isn't actually a woman or an actual woman but somehow related to those in the Gunt incident. Also unless some ween contacted them asking if it was the Gunt's, it's not very normal to state something you are selling isn't stolen lol. Another possibility, they emptied his bag and mistook it for some cheap Chinese shit and somebody actually found it and knew it's value.
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It has no value other than the retail price an idiot like Ralph pays. Armani is not known for bags or backpacks, nobody into luxury bags or accessories would bother with Armani. Armani just figured some idiots like Ralph would pay money for a cheap bag stamped Armani because they’ve heard of their suits or were teenagers in the 90’s when the Armani Exchange at the fancy mall was popular.

The Chinese don’t even bother to make knock-off Armani bags because nobody would buy them. The reseller is dreaming listing it for a third of the (fake) MSRP, he’d be lucky to get $40 for it. It’s not leather or a even special thick durable nylon like Prada makes.

Now, that’s for just for a typical Armani messenger bag. But a Ralphamale’s Armani murse that was unceremoniously ganked from his unconscious Gunt that just felt the thunder from a small Portuguese hooker? That shit is valuable and could get more than 300 for it.

The seller underestimates the value of their stolen goods. They’d shot bricks if someone pays 300 and then for good measure the buyer adds they will pay $5k if there’s any video footage of the former owner losing his murse.
 
MirnaMinkoff said:
It has no value other than the retail price an idiot like Ralph pays. Armani is not known for bags or backpacks, nobody into luxury bags or accessories would bother with Armani. Armani just figured some idiots like Ralph would pay money for a cheap bag stamped Armani because they’ve heard of their suits or were teenagers in the 90’s when the Armani Exchange at the fancy mall was popular.

The Chinese don’t even bother to make knock-off Armani bags because nobody would buy them. The reseller is dreaming listing it for a third of the (fake) MSRP, he’d be lucky to get $40 for it. It’s not leather or a even special thick durable nylon like Prada makes.

Now, that’s for just for a typical Armani messenger bag. But a Ralphamale’s Armani murse that was unceremoniously ganked from his unconscious Gunt that just felt the thunder from a small Portuguese hooker? That shit is valuable and could get more than 300 for it.

The seller underestimates the value of their stolen goods. They’d shot bricks if someone pays 300 and then for good measure the buyer adds they will pay $5k if there’s any video footage of the former owner losing his murse.
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I find your knowledge of man purses suspicious.
 
Is there a chance that Ralph could end up permanently cross-eyed as a result of the orbital damage?
iu.jpeg
 
Blue Miaplacidus said:
same gunt guard prob reported seller or she freaked out from the mass amount of weens messaging and nuked the listing who knows
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There’s a chance Andy managed to buy it. Fingers crossed. I mean Josh deserves the murse trophy too but since the Lisbon trip only happened thanks to Andy he’s certainly deserving of it. Without Andy’s grand Portuguese hermitage we’d never have the Ralph curb stomped saga.

ClipBitch said:
I find your knowledge of man purses suspicious.
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Lol. My knowledge is of women’s purses which is 100% applicable because a “man’s purse” doesn’t exist. Murses are just a marketing invention to get dumb faggy men like Ralph to fork over lots of money for a womanly status symbol. After all Ralph would have never bought that dumb purse if the “Armani” name wasn’t stamped on it front and center.

Men carry a fucking briefcase, duffle bag or backpack - not a dainty purse with a messenger length strap.

(The purse appealed to Ralph because he could get the extra long messenger strap over his Gunt. It looked like a girly mini-pack on Gunt riding mid-back, but was supposed to loosely hang right below the hip on his side.)
 
I just can’t believe how much Ralph lived up to the stereotypes of American tourists. He is literally “that guy” they give PSA on before you deploy or visit a foreign country.
 
Imagine being some poor unsuspecting doctor and walking into the surgery room only to find a bloated, mangled pig carcass dumped on the operation table. I wouldn't be surprised if he relocates to the apothecarium in Undercity and starts stitching abominations for Kel'Thuzad in search of a more pleasant work environment after that experience.
 
BibiLivesMatter said:
I just can’t believe how much Ralph lived up to the stereotypes of American tourists. He is literally “that guy” they give PSA on before you deploy or visit a foreign country.
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I hope the state department can turn him into a real life PSA. He's the fat fuck from In Bruges but with a wiggery retard demeanor. The man has never made a realistic risk assessment in his life, never weighed costs and benefits, never projected forward into the future. What a guy.

I'm so happy that this happened when it did. Thank you Ralph, for confirming that you are in fact a fat stupid wigger mark. You look like the drunkest fucking tourist in history in your native land and the Portuguese got you, and incredibly it happened right around my birthday. A present to me, from the worst of Portugal. I look forward to the iatrogenic illness arc, as you're stranded in Iberia away from your horse and soon to be born foal with some exotic blood fever, and the doctors discover you've somehow stitched a phone to your paws.
 
Atomsk said:
I wonder if the surgeon will be a fan of the killstream....
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With his recent luck, the surgeon will be a massive leftist alog who drip feeds him HRT through his IV and then proceeds to give him facial feminization surgery.

coping reddit nigger said:
Imagine being some poor unsuspecting doctor and walking into the surgery room only to find a bloated, mangled pig carcass dumped on the operation table.
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Are we even sure the dudes in the ambulance didn't take one look at him and drove him to a veterinarian?
 
Chris Chad said:
View attachment 2928190

Do the four Portugese lads who roughed Ralph up have a crack at breaking ol' Ronnie's record? Or is Ronnie still the undisputed king of hurt?
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No, I think these lads finally did it, but more importantly they did something even greater: I think this may finally break the spell over the paypigs and reveal to them Ralph's true identity as a little bitch...

ethanralph.jpeg
 
Eggg said:
Warski needs to get his sister to buy the murse and send it over to him as a trophy.
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Holy fuck, that would honestly be the cherry on top. Someone contact Andy and make that happen. It's a bit steep just to dab on someone, but it would be a legendary feltening and would add to his "I'm the king of Portugal" schtick as him getting his henchmen to beat up Ralph and steal it.
 
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