🗑️ Trashfire PPP: Pig's Passage to Portugal - Update 1/26 - Ralph got his ass kicked and murse stolen. Turns out, the citizens of Portugal are NOT big fans of the Killstream

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What actually led to Ralph's beating?

  • Official narrative, chased robber to defend his property (Manpurse, €150) and 1 VS 4 epic fight.

    Votes: 80 3.4%

  • Beaten by the pimp of an underaged prostitute.

    Votes: 755 32.0%

  • Tumbled down the steep streets like a loose boulder.

    Votes: 153 6.5%

  • Beaten by a gang of drug dealers.

    Votes: 476 20.2%

  • Uttered something stupid in front of locals.

    Votes: 850 36.0%

  • Tried to put his trotters on Warski's sister.

    Votes: 47 2.0%
  • Total voters
    2,361
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WTF bros now Gator and Dick are making fun of Ralph. This is the end of the killstream as we know it. Ralph has no one left but Meigh.
 
Retink said:
View attachment 2926608

So who wants to start making bets on how long before he gets the George Floyd treatment for illegal fentanyl possession?
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He's already a massive alcoholic. He absolutely will develop a oxy/fent addiction and given his obesity and heart issued probably die from it.

Also mixing painkillers and booze is the second most lethal cocktail other than a speedball. Gunt is fucked.
 
Idk if this have been posted yet but how much will Ralph have to pay.

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it's important to keep in mind if this had been anyone else Ralph would be laughing and mocking them, maybe even Gator if the story was good enough.

If this had been THE PEDOPHILE JERSHUA CONNOR MOON, Warski or PPP Ralph would've laughed at them and even invited the assailants on the killstream. Point is, Ralph got what he fucking deserved.
 
Ah, so Ralph is going to miss another birth of his child. Hopefully Pantsu does the smart thing and omits his name from the Birth Certificate. Otherwise, we may lose our (and Portugal's) favorite punching bag to late-term child to parent abortion.
 
I don't know if anyone has mentioned this in the last 80 or so pages, but just a minor correction to the headline, its "he fractured his orbit" unless one wants to specify which bone of the orbit was fractured, but there is no "lobe" involved anywhere in orbital anatomy.
 
Telemeter said:
That's why the mugging is hard to believe, muggers are there to take stuff, not beat you to death, even if you "chase them down", as Ralph obviously can't do to anyone who is not on a wheelchair.

It's much more likely that he simply picked up a fight with some random woman (something he literally has a criminal history for, even Rekieta told a story about Ralph picking fights with women in Miami) and got the ever loving shit beaten out of him by her boyfriend.

There clearly was some passion in whoever did this to him, it wasn't just a "we haven't filled our quota of half-dead wiggers today" kind of situation.
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Have we already ruled out "he was passed out drunk and came up swinging... again"? Because Ralth does like to stick to the classics.

As an American I would like to appologize to Portugal. Your people are very nice, and in no way deserving of having Ethan Ralph inflicted on you. If we, his fellow citizens had a choice we would have inflicted him on Canada instead.
 
Gold Star Commissar said:
At the risk of belaboring the point, we know the story is bullshit because Ralph claims to have chased them down.

After all, how do you get away from a full speed charging gunt? You just walk away slowly.
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The CWC arrest video shows Gunt is definitively physically incapable of chasing down muggers in full speed, considering how short his breath is.
 
Getting an orbital fracture (not fissure) that needs surgery? My bet is that he got hit with a blunt object like a blackjack. It's not that easy to break an orbital bone with bare fists unless you are really strong (which 4 simple muggers just wouldn't be).
 
Ralph has a tendency of putting himself in awful situations and making the worse of them. I have no idea if his account of being mugged by a racially diverse mob is true, especially since he's a pathological liar. But even if it is, he dealt with it like an absolute moron. Fuck, he had totaled his car not very long ago. Then he missed a court appointment because 'reasons'. And now this. That's too much even by lolcow standards.
 
Gold Star Commissar said:
At the risk of belaboring the point, we know the story is bullshit because Ralph claims to have chased them down.

After all, how do you get away from a full speed charging gunt? You just walk away slowly.
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I like to imagine the gunt just getting the standard smash&grab mugging, but way up one of those steep streets hes was bitching about. He didn't give chase so much as he rolled down the hill after them. Like in Indiana Jones, but the gunt is the boulder, and he got bitched up while tumbling along. The thought gave me a good giggle.
 
Justtocheck said:
Getting an orbital fracture (not fissure) that needs surgery? My bet is that he got hit with a blunt object. It's not that easy to break an orbital bone with bare fists unless you are really strong (which 4 muggers wouldn't be).
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Probably just soccer kicked in the head over and over after crumpling to the ground.
 
Ruin said:
He's already a massive alcoholic. He absolutely will develop a oxy/fent addiction and given his obesity and heart issued probably die from it.

Also mixing painkillers and booze is the second most lethal cocktail other than a speedball. Gunt is fucked.
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At this point I'm starting to believe Ralph is the Highlander. The only way to kill him is to cut off his head.
 
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