🗑️ Trashfire PPP: Pig's Passage to Portugal - Update 1/26 - Ralph got his ass kicked and murse stolen. Turns out, the citizens of Portugal are NOT big fans of the Killstream

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What actually led to Ralph's beating?

  • Official narrative, chased robber to defend his property (Manpurse, €150) and 1 VS 4 epic fight.

    Votes: 80 3.4%

  • Beaten by the pimp of an underaged prostitute.

    Votes: 755 32.0%

  • Tumbled down the steep streets like a loose boulder.

    Votes: 153 6.5%

  • Beaten by a gang of drug dealers.

    Votes: 476 20.2%

  • Uttered something stupid in front of locals.

    Votes: 850 36.0%

  • Tried to put his trotters on Warski's sister.

    Votes: 47 2.0%
  • Total voters
    2,361
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Tommy's Mom said:
Why are any of you believing this obvious lie?
In my opinion, there is no way this incident started out as a mugging. The most likely scenario is that a Portuguese person committed an unintentional microaggression against The Gunt, and The Gunt reacted in typical Gunt fashion. He then got his ass kicked as a result, and then robbed as punishment.
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Or gunt probably asked them how much in American Money he could fuck their girlfriend or sister for?
 
Slimy Time said:
Orbital fractures, what looks like potential dental fractures, badly busted up eye and jaw. That is someone looking to seriously fuck him up. I don't think a pack of them would fuck him up this badly, not without some bodily damage being visible (kicked to the stomach, ribs hurt etc).
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This is why I subscribe to the theory that Gunt got beaten up by either a pimp after sperging out over not wanting condoms or a angry parent after he tried to solicit underage sex.
 
Don't mind me. I'm just gonna leave this right here.

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I had a real shitty day at work and needed a laugh. Thank you Ralph for the content.

Its not even the fact he got the shit kicked out of him, shit happens and sometimes it can even just be a case of wrong place, wrong time. Although I fully believe it was Ralph's mouth that got him into this mess, as opposed to him just stumbling into it.

What I love is the embellishment he feels the need to add to his story. He can't admit he got jumped, or even started shit in a bar and got rinsed.

It was a mugger, that he heroically chased down, then there were 4 of them and he kept fighting, long past the point that's considered normal. Because you have to understand, he's super tough and it took them almost having to call 4 more guys in. I imagine he's going to tell us about how the Doctors were amazed that he was conscious given the immense damage he took and that a lesser man would've likely died.

RIP the man purse though .
 
NynchLiggers said:
This is why I subscribe to the theory that Gunt got beaten up by either a pimp after sperging out over not wanting condoms or a angry parent after he tried to solicit underage sex.
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Who knows. No doubt this idiot will slip up at some point and tell his inner circle what happened, and we will find out in the coming weeks, but it is very telling that we can imagine 3 or 4 scenarios that are all equally likely and in his capacity to do which lead to his skullfucking.
 
All hail Ralph King of Portugal!
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I guess those teenage prostitutes don't like it when you try to jam a thumb up their ass. That costs extra Mr Ralph! They must be stronger than they look. Too bad, now he'll have to eat his Burger King through a straw.

The only thing that could have made this better is if he was live streaming at the time. But you can't have everything.

What country will he travel to next on his world tour? What ethnic group will beat his ass? What surgeries will he require? Rest well and recover quick Ralph, you have a long year ahead.

At least his assailants will be easy to capture if he filed a report. Just look for a Moor wandering around wearing a purse and a fedora.
 
Tommy's Mom said:
Someone found him unconscious on the street and called an ambulance. That was 100% an "ambulance ride beating." There is absolutely no way he got himself to the hospital after getting demolished that badly. He probably woke up in the hospital.
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Oh he totally woke up in the hospital, My point was that you don't think someone finding this bloodied gunt unconscious in the street is going to call the police first? Also, he would've had to wander far off the beaten path of a tourist-trap city for this to happen in an area with no witnesses to the actual assault.
 
I'm like 95% sure he tried solicit sex and it went wrong.

Ralph is such a fucking moron.
 
MirnaMinkoff said:
Correct. While you do have to get a visa, which requires health insurance coverage, IF you are traveling from some countries - but NOT the USA. All Ralph needed was his passport to get to Lisbon, so May might have to be wiring money to that hospital. They won’t be doing surgery unless he has some sort of valid insurance coverage. Debatable if he’d pay that whole extra $60 for it or not. Anyone with an iota of common sense would, but this is Ralphamale.
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Yes, US citizens don't require a visa, as long as they stay for a maximum of 90 days. Ralph probably didn't pay anything for healthcare or $7 tops for the it. Portugal has a "whatever, it's healthcare, so we know it will always run on a deficit" type of mentality. I've had an American friend visiting me, and he broke a leg and had to undergo surgery for that. He paid $10 for the whole thing, but just because he wanted to pay for it. It wasn't like he was blocked from leaving until he paid.
 
SaidNoOneEver said:
Oh he totally woke up in the hospital, My point was that you don't think someone finding this bloodied gunt unconscious in the street is going to call the police first? Also, he would've had to wander far off the beaten path of a tourist-trap city for this to happen in an area with no witnesses to the actual assault.
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Is there a difference? You just call 911 or 999 or whatever the fuck they use in Portugal, and report that someone illegally slaughtered a pig in the middle of the street. The people on the other end of that call decide who to send.
 
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