🗑️ Trashfire PPP: Pig's Passage to Portugal - Update 1/26 - Ralph got his ass kicked and murse stolen. Turns out, the citizens of Portugal are NOT big fans of the Killstream

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What actually led to Ralph's beating?

  • Official narrative, chased robber to defend his property (Manpurse, €150) and 1 VS 4 epic fight.

    Votes: 80 3.4%

  • Beaten by the pimp of an underaged prostitute.

    Votes: 755 32.0%

  • Tumbled down the steep streets like a loose boulder.

    Votes: 153 6.5%

  • Beaten by a gang of drug dealers.

    Votes: 476 20.2%

  • Uttered something stupid in front of locals.

    Votes: 850 36.0%

  • Tried to put his trotters on Warski's sister.

    Votes: 47 2.0%
  • Total voters
    2,361
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Jose Cuervo said:
He’s actually right, for once. Lisbon’s full of steeps, hills and really small streets.

To add to this, the city’s most popular night hangout area is precisely on steep, small streets. I can almost hear the Gunt gasping for air from that tweet.
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When Ralph talks about "walking up there" assume he means walking around the grounds of the castle or just walking up to the entrance after getting a ride up the hill. Wonder how annoyed Sergio (The Dick Show fan who was Ralph's guide) got with having to slow down to Ralph's snail pace? Maybe Ralph got jumped because it was the middle of the night and he was disturbing the pace as he gasped for each breathe looking for hookers and blow?
 
So the child support/court fees he scammed out of his few remaining paypigs is now in the hands of a gang of Portuguese moors?

Spectacular job saving the whuite race there Ralph.
 
So I’m looking at that mess, and I see a broken nose for sure. I’m concerned about his eyes. All sorts of things can go wrong judging by that amount of swelling, I’d be looking for torn retinas. He’s not going to want to get on a plane till that’s ruled out, and he can barely open his eyes. (I’m not joking Ralph it can cause blindness, we’re talking emergency surgery). Teeth are fucked unless he already had dentures which is possible. Concussion highly possible. Dislocated jaw possible. And that’s just what we see in one photo.
Fat boy is lucky he’s extremely well-padded. I doubt a thin person would have survived that.
 
Ralph's story is such bullshit. No way in hell he ran his fat ass after a mugger and tried to fight 4-on-1. It's more likely he tripped on the curb or pissed the wrong person off.

Warski & the boys are gonna have a field day with that photo though.
 
Slimy Time said:
The irony of this all is that if he brought May with him on this trip, he would have had the security of numbers (even if one of them is a horse faced woman) and probably would have never gotten mugged.
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Tbh I'd be more intimidated by Meigh than the Gunt. That's not a compliment to Meigh either, that's just how little I think of the Gunt.
 
It is awe inspiring how God reminds us that he has an amazing sense of justice and irony in a single move
 
The Big Dream said:
If a random Lisbon hoodlum can pick him out this easily, I dare say there isn't a country in the world he'd be safe. Even the chavs of London would 'av a go at him.
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I bet Glasgow could put a smile on his face of a whole new sort.
 
I got to hand it to Ralph for finally making this spite trip entertaining. Hopefully he can keep the momentum going and get in an 8-1 fight next time.
 
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FIVE STAR days is all he knows!!

Ya’ll just jealous Ralph does what he wants when he wants!

Look at the Kang living his best life.

Haint said:
Number 1 rule of traveling into an unknown foreign city. Never travel alone. Always always use the buddy system. El Porco Gordo learned this the hard way.
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Traveling alone is perfectly fine. Going to bars at night in unknown areas alone or trying to score drugs is not. Basically just use common fucking sense.
Franz Joseph said:
This is true. Just go to any area of a US city that's populated by wonderful magic Americans and you're not one of them and see what happens.
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Even if you are one of them. An easy mark is an easy mark, they don’t give a shit.
 
broke: Ralph got jumped and mugged
woke: Ralph got himself into trouble in his usual, piggish way
bespoke: The government of Portugal set this up for PR
 
The damage from his face isn't what happens when you "lose a 4v1 fight", Ralph got fucking murked. And judging by how late it happened at night, no doubt it was him being retarded trying to score drugs/underage whores and got his comeuppance when he acted like a gunted wigger.
 
AnOminous said:
Whether or not he was mugged, whoever did that shit to him was PISSED. Muggers don't really care about just randomly harming people, they just want to knock you down, take your shit, move on to the next. Whoever did that to the Gunt wanted him to REMEMBER it.
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That or they were scared for their life that the rotund American was going to eat them
 
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