🗑️ Trashfire PPP: Pig's Passage to Portugal - Update 1/26 - Ralph got his ass kicked and murse stolen. Turns out, the citizens of Portugal are NOT big fans of the Killstream

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What actually led to Ralph's beating?

  • Official narrative, chased robber to defend his property (Manpurse, €150) and 1 VS 4 epic fight.

    Votes: 80 3.4%

  • Beaten by the pimp of an underaged prostitute.

    Votes: 755 32.0%

  • Tumbled down the steep streets like a loose boulder.

    Votes: 153 6.5%

  • Beaten by a gang of drug dealers.

    Votes: 476 20.2%

  • Uttered something stupid in front of locals.

    Votes: 850 36.0%

  • Tried to put his trotters on Warski's sister.

    Votes: 47 2.0%
  • Total voters
    2,361
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better luck next time, champ. :semperfidelis:
 
Judgment Boy said:
Tbh I'm not sure why the "4 on 1" scenario is deemed so unbelievable. Gypsies tend to roam in packs in most settings anyway, and I could very easily see him getting jumped by four lanky Roma teens that absolutely know that no man with a purse is a challenge.

Will say, the lack of being stabbed is a bit odd though, but maybe the Portuguese breed have different preferences from the usual. Or they took pity on him after kicking his teeth in and realizing he'd never catch them. I do know that he would absolutely be dead if he was making eyes at one of their sisters.
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Fucking hate gypsies.
 
hawkisnight said:
I have to say from watching irl streamers they rarely get what they deserve in american cities despite how much a menace they are.
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I think thats because everyones kind of bemused at whats happening, normal people have no idea how to react when a lunatic with a camera is sperging out in front of them, because for most people, its the first time its ever happened to them
 
Considering this week, what is the next cosmic forces endued life fucking up thing to happen to Ralph?

Is May gonna have a miscarriage?

Is Ralph going to be raped by a feral donkey on his way to the airport?

Is the back road hospital going to have infected him with hepatitis or AIDS?

Karma is on a roll this week, what's it got in store of piggy next?
 
Lemmingwise said:
How the fuck do you even get mugged in Lissabon? Last time I was there, I was stupid enough to leave my bag in the bus. Some mulatto guy asked the bus to stop, held my bag outside so I could retrieve it and then they drove along.
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It’s possible when you are an absolute mong. You would think someone from a sketchier area of the US would be a little more street smart/ aware of their surroundings.

I still am chuckling at Ralph getting his purse snatched like some old lady.

McSchlomo said:
I hope he comes to germany next time so he can get his ass kicked by syrians.
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After that he can make a stop in Paris to get another ass beating by members of the French national football team.
 
Zilortha said:
Regarding the vote, I'm torn.
The other options are funnier. But I do think Ethan Ralph is stupid enough to try and fight a mugger.
Idk if there were multiple (I doubt it) but I can 100% envision someone snatching his man-purse and Ralph sperging out and charging them, only to get laid out.
The sky really is the limit when it comes to Ralph's retardation.
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The poll is flawed. I can see at least three of those options happening at the same time.
 
Ol' Slag said:
I wonder if he actually got teeth knocked out?

Also, his face looks like it was smashed in. He doesn't even know basic shit like protecting your head when on the ground.
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You mean like putting your forearms up to protect your head? It's almost like he's never seen a UFC match or something.
 
Ol' Slag said:
I wonder if he actually got teeth knocked out?

Also, his face looks like it was smashed in. He doesn't even know basic shit like protecting your head when on the ground.
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There's just fucking so much to protect, look at his fucking ginormous head and tell me you'd be able to hide that massive outcropping from assailants, be like if the hit box for your junk was just another you sized box leeched onto you
 
RussianParasite said:
It’s possible when you are an absolute mong. You would think someone from a sketchier area of the US would be a little more street smart/ aware of their surroundings.

I still am chuckling at Ralph getting his purse snatched like some old lady.


After that he can make a stop in Paris to get another ass beating by members of the French national football team.
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Ralph probably wasn’t worth the effort to beat the shit out of in the states. He got away with it because nobody really cared enough.
 
Does this look like the type of guy that deserves a beating like that?

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Ralph are you able to take a piss on your own or do they have a child size catheter up the micro?
Since you document every shameful part of your life you know.
 
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