🗑️ Trashfire PPP: Pig's Passage to Portugal - Update 1/26 - Ralph got his ass kicked and murse stolen. Turns out, the citizens of Portugal are NOT big fans of the Killstream

[Eternal Struggler]

What if Sergio was an informant to the thieves that felted Ralph hahaha what a timeline

 

[instythot]

Yeah but you speak the fucking language.

The tourist countries in Europe usually print everything a tourist might interact with in the local language, English, French and german side by side and English will get you by, if a bit slowly, assuming you stick to the tourist areas as Ralph has been. Someone around knew what he was mouthing off about right before he got 10/10 Memphis mauled

 

[Lone MacReady]

Hopefully this is practice for a new Reconquista.

 

[Yuri Normus]

What if Sergio was an informant to the thieves that felted Ralph hahaha what a timeline

From the looks of it, he felt it!

 

[Judgment Boy]

Tbh I'm not sure why the "4 on 1" scenario is deemed so unbelievable. Gypsies tend to roam in packs in most settings anyway, and I could very easily see him getting jumped by four lanky Roma teens that absolutely know that no man with a purse is a challenge.

Will say, the lack of being stabbed is a bit odd though, but maybe the Portuguese breed have different preferences from the usual. Or they took pity on him after kicking his teeth in and realizing he'd never catch them. I do know that he would absolutely be dead if he was making eyes at one of their sisters.

 

[Hxtes]

Omg ralph got beat up? Good. Nothing of value was lost.

He chased ... he chased nothing, good at chasing food thats about it.

 

[Butwhythough]

I go do some stuff last night and I get home late and I missed seeing the gunt get the shit beaten out of him. My morning is made. So do you think that Josh had some A-Logs sent to Lisbon or that Andy Warski is a secret crime boss that called ahead?

 

[bonusmp3]

https://twitter.com/TheRalphRetort/status/1486701078208987136

Ethan Ralph on Twitter: "They are NOT stingy with painkillers here in…

archived 27 Jan 2022 14:12:17 UTC

archive.ph

It is a shame the RalphaHorse will be born to a father who will still be slurring and constantly hangry for Oxyberries due to their father's injuries from their trip to Lisbon. I think Ralph was even going sober for a while, replacing his substance & drinking abuse with gambling and extra nicotine.

Hopefully Pantsu won't be kicked and punched too much as the cravings become unbearable. Also in case Ralph reads this, don't hit the stomach or Andy Warski won't be the only person with an abortion to their name.

 

[Pringles Can]

Poor Ralph. I don't think even he knew the power of a 14 year old prostitute and how much damage one can do.

 

[RollerGator]

What if Sergio was an informant to the thieves that felted Ralph hahaha what a timeline

Or Ralph offended Sergio somehow and he just kicked Ralph's ass.

 

[Mr. Confederate Man]

Random muggers, doing God’s work

 

[Bongocat]

why in god's name would you post this picture of yourself

 

[Telemeter]

I was in Lisbon a few weeks ago. Nice place, provided that you never relax.

Also, the bars there are cheap as fuck. There is absolutely no need to go for a night out with more than 30 Euros on you. You’ll still have change from that.

He's staying in a hostel, which means he's sharing a room with 3-6 other white american potheads. Leave your valuables in the room at your own peril.

 

[NationalBolshevik]

I feel robbed having been following this thread through boring shrimp updates to come back to 55 pages more.

Still this dude 100% tried to get into a Strip Club unvaxxed. Chatted shit to the bouncer who absolutely rekt him and sent him to hospital.

Maybe could've just gone to one of the nice churches Ethan.

 

[IAmNotAlpharius]

Yeah but you speak the fucking language.

If anything it’s a blessing that Ralph can’t speak Portuguese. This would’ve happened much sooner if he did.

 

[Wazzupnerds]

He's staying in a hostel, which means he's sharing a room with 3-6 other white american potheads. Leave your valuables in the room at your own peril.

never have gotten the appeal of hostels. No privacy, and you share just about everything.

 

[Drive-By Comment]

He's staying in a hostel, which means he's sharing a room with 3-6 other white american potheads. Leave your valuables in the room at your own peril.

True that. And even in real hotels they have that safe for reason. Let's just say staff will consider anything and everything as a tip.

 

[datura_binge]

for real, Ive been to Portugal more times than I can count, Portugal is fucking great, its almost impossible to find trouble there.

The answer to his question is: It's Ralph. Ralph is literally the American that other countries meme about the rest of us being. So while most of us can navigate the world just fine, guys like Ralph go out there and give us all a bad name and make everyone joke us because of how stupid that one individual is.

 

[Pill Cosby]

Kids remember if you are allergic to shellfish, always carry you Epipen and always read the label!

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

No they don't, some do but the people mugging your ass don't have jobs and are probably not bi-lingual. Americans are the most retarded ignorant people on the planet.

The same shit would happen to Ralph if he left the “tourist area” of any city in America drunk off his ass at night and alone trying to score drugs or whores.

Ralph is a lolcow because he is like the stupidest American stereotype imaginable x10 on steroids. It’s why his fellow Americans enjoy watching life kick his ass so hard.

It’s sort of amazing because Ralph is from the crime riddled shithole of West Memphis which is way more dangerous than Lisbon. Ralph has become seriously deluded and really thinks he’s some minor celebrity and tough guy that can “do as he pleases” because he’s a KANG.

He needs to stick to Vegas, an entire city built around protecting dumb drunken idiots from reality and their own stupid drunken behavior in order to more easily fleece them in the casinos.