🗑️ Trashfire PPP: Pig's Passage to Portugal - Update 1/26 - Ralph got his ass kicked and murse stolen. Turns out, the citizens of Portugal are NOT big fans of the Killstream

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What actually led to Ralph's beating?

  • Official narrative, chased robber to defend his property (Manpurse, €150) and 1 VS 4 epic fight.

    Votes: 80 3.4%

  • Beaten by the pimp of an underaged prostitute.

    Votes: 755 32.0%

  • Tumbled down the steep streets like a loose boulder.

    Votes: 153 6.5%

  • Beaten by a gang of drug dealers.

    Votes: 476 20.2%

  • Uttered something stupid in front of locals.

    Votes: 850 36.0%

  • Tried to put his trotters on Warski's sister.

    Votes: 47 2.0%
  • Total voters
    2,361
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I've noticed that a few times that Ralph has a falling out with someone, he gets embarrassed spectacularly soon after; Josh with the sex tape and now Andy with being beaten and raped in an alley. There must be more examples?
 
Jose Cuervo said:
Portugal’s got a public National Health System, he doesn’t need to worry about hospital bills while there.

Looking on the bright side, this means he can get extorted at a tourist trap restaurant or go to Burger King one more time to truly own Warski.
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If its anything like Canada’s health care system, public healthcare does not cover foreigners and they will send you a bill.
 
interning said:
I've noticed that a few times that Ralph has a falling out with someone, he gets embarrassed spectacularly soon after; Josh with the sex tape and now Andy with being beaten and raped in an alley. There must be more examples?
Click to expand...
This is confirmation bias; Ralph is permanently embarrassing himself.
 
Kittystyles1488 said:
The public health system appears to only be free for Portuguese citizens.

Your Health Abroad

The U.S. government does not provide medical insurance nor pay for medical bills for U.S. citizens overseas. You should purchase insurance before you
pt.usembassy.gov pt.usembassy.gov
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I stand corrected. This just keeps getting better and better for Ralph.
 
Ethan Ralph always lose
FELTED.jpg
 
I'm just here to say "I called it" that he may get his man purse jacked.
Trigger Me Timbers said:
Its been a very long time since I was there, but I remember the crime is bad, like just snatch your bag off you in daylight bad. Granted one of the good things about going during off time is the Africanos are not gonna be prowling stoplights to jack man purses.
Click to expand...
 
Kittystyles1488 said:
The public health system appears to only be free for Portuguese citizens.

Your Health Abroad

The U.S. government does not provide medical insurance nor pay for medical bills for U.S. citizens overseas. You should purchase insurance before you
pt.usembassy.gov pt.usembassy.gov
Click to expand...
Obviously the next logical course of action is for Ralph to find a Portuguese prostitute woman to knock up and marry in order to claim citizenship.
 
He has to emphasize that it was a 4-1 fight because it obviously was just him and one person. His ego's battered more than his face.

If it was four whole dudes, they likely would've killed him or beat him way harder than that. He used this scary experience to lie and act like a badass, similar to those Tumblr kids who made up cringe-ass fake stories back in the day.
 
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In a country with one of lowest crime rates in all of Europe, this wigger manages to get mugged. Bravo Ralph, karma has curbstomped you yet again. Round of applause for the gunt.
 
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