Consoomers / Consoomer Culture - Because if it has a recogniseable brand on it, I’d buy it!

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NoReturn said:
So I saw this on Amazon today and thought the "Free" Halo was bad enough.
View attachment 2879235
Whenever someone or some company pushes a specific service or product too much I start getting suspicious.
But then I saw this:
View attachment 2879209
Alexa.
Controlled.
Weights.
Click to expand...
Because when you're getting swole lifting heavy plates to put on your dumbbells is just too hard! Workouts should never be hard and make you sweat (or grunt for weights).

These strike me as the type of gimmick that wannabes who think lifting ten pounds at a time for a million reps is a good workout. Highly doubt the model could get a good dumbbell workout with those weights, even at max.

ETA: so they go up in five pound increments to 50 pounds on each dumbbell. That's enough for most of the average to advanced male lifters, or all but the most outliers of women lifters. But I still say the model up there probably lifts more than fifty. If not, he's at the edge of their usefulness.

Plus they are $429 and the voice adjustment feature is only available if you have an Alexa device in your house as well as the weights.
 
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moocow said:
Wait, how the fuck does that even work? You can't just magically change an object's mass. Does it move water between the base and dumbbells or something? I'm afraid to ask how much those things cost.
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You see those "fins"? Those are the weights, they couple and decouple themselves from the bar to increase or decrease the weight as needed.

EDIT: So by itself it really isn't a bad system, works great for home fitness by giving you an entire rack worth of dumbbells that all fit into a space the size of a single set of dumbbells, perfect for modern tiny apartment living especially if you prefer to workout at home. It's the whole "Alexa controlled" bit that really rankles me. I'll add a picture as well.
external-content.duckduckgo.com.jpg
 
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make_it_so said:
Also, does anyone else fucking hate it when YouTubers ask you to like the video before they've even started it?
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I hate it no matter when they choose to do it. But yeah, it's particularly ballsy to demand asspats before they've even shown anything.

Sleazy Car Salesman said:
You see those "fins"? Those are the weights, they couple and decouple themselves from the bar to increase or decrease the weight as needed.
Click to expand...
Oh, neat. Not $400 neat, but not as stupid as I was expecting.
 
moocow said:
Oh, neat. Not $400 neat, but not as stupid as I was expecting.
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Lel, my first reaction was “what in the Mass Effect name is this shit”. Knowing now, still think it’s shit, because home dumbbells with little plates existed for years without AI to help adjust weight.
 
Accept Only Substitutes said:
ETA: so they go up in five pound increments to 50 pounds on each dumbbell. That's enough for most of the average to advanced male lifters, or all but the most outliers of women lifters. But I still say the model up there probably lifts more than fifty. If not, he's at the edge of their usefulness.

Plus they are $429 and the voice adjustment feature is only available if you have an Alexa device in your house as well as the weights.
Click to expand...
They're not a terrible system for the average person, they're just way too damned expensive for what they are and the Echo control is full blown retarded.
Crepidodera fulvicornis said:
Lel, my first reaction was “what in the Mass Effect name is this shit”. Knowing now, still think it’s shit, because home dumbbells with little plates existed for years without AI to help adjust weight.
Click to expand...
Pretty much this, and honestly home workout equipment is probably the most resold item in the world so you'd be able to find a similar system practically new from some guy who bought them and never used them for way less.
 
Sleazy Car Salesman said:
It's the whole "Alexa controlled" bit that really rankles me.
Click to expand...
Crepidodera fulvicornis said:
Lel, my first reaction was “what in the Mass Effect name is this shit”. Knowing now, still think it’s shit, because home dumbbells with little plates existed for years without AI to help adjust weight.
Click to expand...
Sleazy Car Salesman said:
They're not a terrible system for the average person, they're just way too damned expensive for what they are and the Echo control is full blown retarded.
Click to expand...
That's the part that got me, too; the retarded Alexa integration.
Here's a sous vide machine with Alexa
1641961431081.png

How about a smart fridge?
1641961478210.png

What about a microwave? You still have to put things in it yourself, though, and you'll be standing right there, but now you don't have to punch in numbers!
1641961574132.png

Ok, ok, fine, none of those appeal to you, but this last one will surly win you over.
Alexa-compatible sex toys!
1641961788959.png

I'm sure all this stuff is amazing for people with limited mobility or other issues, but we all know the majority of people buying these things are just bugmen who want a "smart home".
 
NoReturn said:
I'm sure all this stuff is amazing for people with limited mobility or other issues, but we all know the majority of people buying these things are just bugmen who want a "smart home".
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All I can think of anytime some retarded fucking lobotomite opens their fetid fuck hole and says the words "smart house" is that shitty god awful abortion of a film Home Alone 4.

EDIT: Yes, I deserve those top hats.
 
I have one of those Alexa things and it’s just sitting in its box. I’m not worried about it spying on me or anything. I just don’t know what to do with it.
 
George Lucas said:
I have one of those Alexa things and it’s just sitting in its box. I’m not worried about it spying on me or anything. I just don’t know what to do with it.
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Her job is to get you to spend money. That's what she does.
Crepidodera fulvicornis said:
Except fridge. Fridge can only bring fun to the kitchen.
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What are you talking about? Smart devices bring fun to the whole home!
(Watch at 2x speed, I implore you)
 
NoReturn said:
So I saw this on Amazon today and thought the "Free" Halo was bad enough.
View attachment 2879235
Whenever someone or some company pushes a specific service or product too much I start getting suspicious.
But then I saw this:
View attachment 2879209
Alexa.
Controlled.
Weights.
Click to expand...
What kind of soulless fucking bugman is buying 'smart weights.'
Jesus Christ I hate this 'smart home' shit being pushed by the corporations. Kitchen appliances do not need bluetooth capabilities or wifi.
 
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