💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

  • 🏰 The Fediverse is up. If you know, you know.
  • Want to keep track of this thread?
    Accounts can bookmark posts, watch threads for updates, and jump back to where you stopped reading.
    Create account

When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%

  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%

  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 17 1.1%

  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.2%

  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.4%

  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 2.8%

  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 16.6%

  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 252 16.2%

  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 903 58.0%
  • Total voters
    1,557
RainwaterDrop said:
In one way or another he knows about this place and he found his own audience, which is nice!


If he really does browse here and hasn't done anything to address all the legitimate criticism he got, maybe Jack naming him after himself was the one thing he got right. I can already see Jr. taking the mantle and becoming a failed narcissistic retard like daddy is, if he isn't already lol!
Click to expand...
In Junior's defense, he grew up eating food Jack cooked in plastic bags. Even if he didn't have the Scalfani genes he probably would have still ended up half retarded
 
RainwaterDrop said:
In one way or another he knows about this place and he found his own audience, which is nice!


If he really does browse here and hasn't done anything to address all the legitimate criticism he got, maybe Jack naming him after himself was the one thing he got right. I can already see Jr. taking the mantle and becoming a failed narcissistic retard like daddy is, if he isn't already lol!
Click to expand...
Since he is called Jack as well, he can directly take over Jack's channel after he gets stroked out into a vegetative state.
Maybe he looks the type by then too, or he can just cosplay as Jack and nobody will know lol
 
Spasticus Autisticus said:
Just imagine what it would be like if Jack went somewhere like the Cinque Terre. He'd absolutely hate it. He thought a parking lot in fucking Gatlinburg was steep, there's just no way he'd handle a village street there. He's so fat he'd take up half the width of a village street. No, if Jack went to Italy as part of his LARPing as an Italian he'd just end up getting ripped off at shitty tourist spots in Rome, Florence and Venice. Probably would get pickpocketed by gypsies too, he's such an easy target.
Click to expand...
I just imagined Jack would try to climb up there at a normal Italian summer with 110° F (43° C) and I almost soiled myself while laughing.
stairs.jpg
Generic Retard said:
If Jack is really possessed by a flesh craving wendigo, why does he not eat pure minced meat like Germans?
Checkmate atheists.

This shitpost was brought to you by Mett™
Click to expand...
There's nothing wrong with a Mettbrötchen! You, You, SPD'ler!!!!!111!!!1!1 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
V4L_Penis said:
In Junior's defense, he grew up eating food Jack cooked in plastic bags. Even if he didn't have the Scalfani genes he probably would have still ended up half retarded
Click to expand...
I'd rather eat the plastic bag itself, to be frank.
 
Every time I see that uwu baby bitmoji monstrosity I get repulsed like I've just had a parasitic worm crawl across my brain.
 
Jack69.PNG

Jack's fired up and totally not bothered by the haters and their mean livestreams! I'm guessing that he'll be relying on Youtube's broken copyright system rather than God's divine wrath to "deal with them," though.
 
Chorton said:
View attachment 2796447

Wasn’t sure if this was posted yet, found it on IG.

Great edits everyone, Jr is such a twat and I really hope he actually does lurk the thread to see what a tool he is.
Click to expand...
Reminder this whining baby immediately goes "pooped my pants" face and loud-talks at you online or in meat space if you have a single different opinion.
Jack of the Lantern said:
View attachment 2796750

Jack's fired up and totally not bothered by the haters and their mean livestreams! I'm guessing that he'll be relying on Youtube's broken copyright system rather than God's divine wrath to "deal with them," though.
Click to expand...
And God responded to you by removing your usage of your arm and filling you with rocks. Despite that you still won't stop eating bacon grease and eating 20 pounds of raw meat.
rubytintedchix said:
View attachment 2796797

Jealous much, Jack?
Click to expand...
Cope and seethe that PC and LM are getting close to matching your fucking terrible views Jack.
 
i'm assuming the scalfattys are back from their orlando trip, so given all the recent posts about Qali, i expect one of his burner accounts to show up here any minute now

just make sure you scrub down the toilet where the shitfaced homeless guy puked this morning first, jr
 
Frosty_Glass said:
Europe has some of the best food anywhere. I would love to see him go to a REAL Italian restaurant and complains about the small size and the lack of ketchup. Christ, they would burn him at the stake.
Click to expand...
Or tell them the pizza is "burned."
 
Frosty_Glass said:
I never got why boomers like him complain about social media but use them. “Waa waa social media is bad”, then why on you on there? Just get off the sites you don’t like.
Click to expand...
Jack's just pissed that a twerking teenage girl gets more views than him. This is likely due to narcissism, but just because fuck Jack it might be because he's going "Is this MEAT NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU?! LOOKADAT LOOKADAT MEAT! WHY DON'T YOU THINK THAT WET MEET IS HOT?!"

Also, he really wants to pretend he won't go to hell when he dies and he needs to feel superior... you know, as a fat cripple whose wife uses him to scam pity out of. Because people think he's a literal, pants shitting, crayon eating retard.
 
Adamska said:
Jack's just pissed that a twerking teenage girl gets more views than him. This is likely due to narcissism, but just because fuck Jack it might be because he's going "Is this MEAT NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU?! LOOKADAT LOOKADAT MEAT! WHY DON'T YOU THINK THAT WET MEET IS HOT?!"

Also, he really wants to pretend he won't go to hell when he dies and he needs to feel superior... you know, as a fat cripple whose wife uses him to scam pity out of. Because people think he's a literal, pants shitting, crayon eating retard.
Click to expand...
Worse, actually horrible food videos are going viral (pasta tables, nacho tables, etc) while his genuine attempt at cooking fails to hit 10k.

What we are seeing is Jack becoming almost self-aware. Cooking videos have evolved over time from Julia Childs using a whole hour to show the joys of French cuisine, then youtube chefs like Jack condensing it into 15-20 minute blurbs, to Babish cutting it even further to show just the necessary parts of cooking, to finally TikTok, where they simply show meal prep edited down to 30 seconds.
 
6E52A205-AB8E-4BFC-82C3-E35F7A9E34AB.jpeg

Let me help:

First, topics popped up on various social media sites. Then, Snap Chat was really popular for about a day. Now it seems like quick videos on Tik Tok are the way to go … it’s like a dog chasing a bone, I say.

This stupid sack of garbage is so goddamn sanctimonious, yet his dumb posts almost always read like a Russian wrote it during a second semester English course. And that’s probably after he’s fucking proof read it.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom