Kiwi Farms

Navigation

More options

Forums

🏰 The Fediverse is up. If you know, you know.

Community Feature Submissions

Internet Anarchist (1.8M) has published a video on Chibi Reviews, causing a complete meltdown from lolicons in his comments.

Saturday at 4:43 AM

Chud the Builder stocks are through the roof after shooting someone.

Thursday at 6:13 PM

City of Milwaukee will give Patrick Tomlinson $575,000 as part of their settlement agreement.

Wednesday at 10:23 AM

Post in thread '😵‍💫 Skitzocow - Alexander Ferguson Smith / Sifu / SifuAmbience / SifuSmith'

In the farthest depths of the Youtube ecosystem reside a class of streamers that continually pour out a deluge of live content to an audience of no one - only the most dedicated divers, like our own @Bilbo Boglims and @Soda Pressed , can reveal these gems of lolcowdom, hidden within the murky depths.

Enter martial artist, tech savant, let's player and political commentator extraordinaire Alexander "Sifu" Smith. One of the most influential Youtubers of his time, his footprint stretches back more than 13 years. What, you haven't heard of him? Then you too have fallen victim to

Bitrape describes a phenomenon in which hackers, members of the Trump administration and the incompetent techies that form Youtube's backbone conspire together to reduce Sifu's stream reach and appeal using a variety of insidious mechanisms:

From manipulating both views and likes:

And messing with "the trending":

To perhaps most insidiously, utilizing the stream as a beacon to make him lose at Elden Ring by manipulating the behavior of either his NPC-Ally or the bosses:

It couldn't be because Sifu is just kinda shit at dodging:

These hackers even change the weather patterns:

Why?

You may have heard the name of a rather familiar streamer there - in Sifu's (imagined) rogue's gallery, two individuals will pop up with alarming regularity:

But why would big streamers like Asmongold watch Sifu? Allow him to elaborate:

Sifu tirelessly documents this abuse to build a case that will ultimately bring down the rigged system, and to this end, routinely stops his streams. The reason?

Besides Asmongold, like every good ~~paranoid schizo~~ citizen, Sifu keeps an eye on feds and cops. For instance he noticed local law enforcement pulling over people in an area with poor cell reception:

The clever twist that allows them to get away with it?

This will inevitably lead to more bitrape:

Note how his stream includes a live bitrate, view and concurrent feed.

Sifu can get quite annoyed when people add and remove their likes on his stream:

Trump and his glowies are up to no good either, be it mind reading devices:

Or using the feds to mess with streamers Sifu watches that don't vote for him:

There's a whole MAGA cult causing his stream to buffer:

Microsoft is in on it too, when it makes his antivirus think it needs an update:

Or when he talks positively about Nvidia and they fuck with the game's weather

But Microsoft is not alone, they have Google to back them up:

Sifu will sometimes cope that what he spouts is actually meant to throw off the scammer.

The Scammer, or The Stalker, is perhaps an even more important villain than either the president or the roach king.

Wait, what's this about a rapist?

This is where things take somewhat of a darker turn and we have to look at the past to gain a possible understanding of the present. He was the owner of a dojo which went under because of high rent, and has also worked some time at Walmart (where his mom works as well). From what he said and his google review history (janky archive), he was employed at McDonalds for about 5 years. It's assumed that he lived with his girlfriend, rather than his mom as he does now. He has a younger and an older brother:

And finally Nathan Woodhull Smith, his father.

A father who was recently sentenced to 100 years for diddling kids in his care over multiple years in the early 2000s. [A1] [A2]

Sifu has constructed a network of cope that is difficult to convey through clips - the gist of it is that this scammer/hacker has framed his dad and the victims are accidentally complicit in it in one way or another - he claims one cries rape all the time, while the other was raped by the scammer, which was swept under the rug because of the scammer's family's influential status. When Sifu talks about "THE" Scammer, this is who he is referring to: the boogieman his schizo mind has constructed to cope with the horror of having a father who is a convicted rapist of children as young as 5.

As for Sifu himself?

This clip is from a now deleted 8 hour audio-only stream called "Manipulation" which was archived in time

He states that this happened to him in childhood but that the perpetrator was an older teenager. He also talks a bit about what happened after, but given how much time has passed and his mental state, he is an unreliable narrator at best.

He would go on to acknowledge that these experiences may have been the reason he went into martial arts.
Are we witnessing the gradual implosion of a man whose latent schizophrenia surfaced due to the childhood trauma of being molested by his own father?

Best not to think about it too much, here's Sifu getting bitraped again, clearly because he mentioned Legend of Zelda:

And a little story of young Sifu getting tricked into riding the shortbus to a tard school where he was bullied by a "not caucasian" kid

And a message to @LinusTech

And finally, here's Sifu's presidential Taco Bell story:

If you've made it all the way here, and you can still find the humor in it, feel free to drop by the Keno Kasino chat and watch along when he's live.

#FreeBossmanJack

@Bilbo Boglims for finding Sifu, clips and info
@cohle for the banner
@Gaunt King Ithan Rilph and @Winter for OP input, clips and archives
@dumbledore - he knows why
@Drip irrigation for a non caucasian clip and discovering diddling dad
@lol cow supreme - lmao Ferguson
And @Barsik, who had and still has a big hand in all this.

With thanks and all credit to @Avenue
myspace: https://myspace.com/blessedmafia
xbox: https://www.xboxgamertag.com/search/sifusmith
Youtube (old): https://www.youtube.com/user/blzakksociety/
Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/blzakksociety/
Minecraft? https://namemc.com/profile/BLZakkSociety.1
Wireclub: https://www.wireclub.com/users/blzakksociety
Steam: https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198020818837 | https://steamid.uk/profile/76561198020818837
Streamlabs: https://streamlabs.com/sifusmith
Defunct Kung Fu Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/TheKungFuCenter

Archives by @Scorpion From MK

usernames:
sifusmith
sifuasmith
blzakksociety
blessedmafia
daroki

Criticism

Lolcows

Lolcows are people whose eccentric behavior can be "milked" for entertainment.

Threads: 2.8K

Messages: 4.6M

Sub-forums:

Threads: 2.8K

Messages: 4.6M

💀 Horrorcow Nicholas Robert Rekieta / Rekieta "Law" / Actually Criminal / @NickRekieta / "u/Early-Leopard-8351"

Community Watch

Lolcows tend to congregate in communities of like-minded individuals.

Threads: 806

Messages: 1.1M

Threads: 806

Messages: 1.1M

/r/TNOmod and the Reddit HOI4 modding community

Prime Cuts

Popular lolcows with extended lore that need their own boards.

Threads: 4.6K

Messages: 1.6M

Sub-forums:

Threads: 4.6K

Messages: 1.6M

Johnathan Isaac Harrison (and his family) / Cog City / "Jobless Johnny" / Cognitive Thought

Internationale Clique

Threads: 199

Messages: 81.8K

Sub-forums:

Threads: 199

Messages: 81.8K

💬 Off-Topic Reseñas de Kiwi Farms

Stinkditch

“Being a trans woman isn't about trying to imitate women. It's about trying to be better than women.”

Threads: 367

Messages: 1.1M

Threads: 367

Messages: 1.1M

📚 Megathread Trannies posting their L's Online

Lolcow General

Musings related to lolcows that don't quite fit anywhere else.

Threads: 1K

Messages: 140.9K

Threads: 1K

Messages: 140.9K

Blacked twitter (and the story of YachieKicchou)

Criticism for Girls

Beauty Parlour

Cosplay, cat fights, and deathfats. A woman's space for feminine lolcows and all those caught in their orbit: friend and foe.

Threads: 366

Messages: 1.3M

Threads: 366

Messages: 1.3M

🍗 Deathfat Fat Acceptance Movement / Fat Girlcows

Gorl Tawk

Off-topic discussion for gorls only.

Threads: 283

Messages: 137.9K

Threads: 283

Messages: 137.9K

Official Kiwi Farms Man-Hate Thread

Off-Topic

General Discussion

Threads: 10.3K

Messages: 1M

Threads: 10.3K

Messages: 1M

Ask women why they do stuff in a particular manner and possibly get a straightforward answer

Art & Literature

For anything drawn or written, famous or personal.

Threads: 1.4K

Messages: 191K

Threads: 1.4K

Messages: 191K

Pictures on the Internet that have made you laugh hysterically

The Bidness

Finance, business, cryptocurrency: all things money and bidness related.

Threads: 545

Messages: 39.7K

Threads: 545

Messages: 39.7K

Job Hunting Tips and Tricks.

Food

Hungry Man instant meals, Doritos, and Coke Zero.

Threads: 1.1K

Messages: 97.6K

Threads: 1.1K

Messages: 97.6K

What have you recently eaten?

Games

General discussion about specific games or related concepts and themes.

Threads: 4.2K

Messages: 1M

Threads: 4.2K

Messages: 1M

Let's Sperg Pokémon Reborn (Screenshot LP) -A Matureᵀᴹ take on the beloved franchaise-

Health & Fitness

Discussion of sports, teams, physical wellness, Hulkamania, or anything about moving around doing stuff.

Threads: 688

Messages: 172K

Threads: 688

Messages: 172K

MMA & UFC General

Internet & Technology

Hardware or software, consumer or corporate. All things on the online.

Threads: 1.6K

Messages: 160.6K

Threads: 1.6K

Messages: 160.6K

Alternative Mobile Operating Systems

Live Talent

VTubers are a modern idol industry focused on human-operated animated characters.

Threads: 89

Messages: 201.5K

Threads: 89

Messages: 201.5K

General Discussion for Virtual Youtubers / Vtubers / Chuubas

Multimedia

Talk about everything from the silver screen to instant streaming.

Threads: 3.6K

Messages: 723.3K

Threads: 3.6K

Messages: 723.3K

Good Omens (Prime Video)

Music

Talk about the Grateful Dead or non-Grateful Dead music.

Threads: 1.4K

Messages: 141.3K

Threads: 1.4K

Messages: 141.3K

Is 2000's style rock music making a comeback?

Q&A

Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer.

Threads: 32.8K

Messages: 437.5K

Threads: 32.8K

Messages: 437.5K

Can you give me audio file samples to make a song with

Self-Sufficiency

Land, gardening, food, storage, protection, firearms, armor, defensive planning, forward thinking, and everything else your stir-crazy schizophrenic uncle Ted talks about.