💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

  • 🏰 The Fediverse is up. If you know, you know.
  • Want to keep track of this thread?
    Accounts can bookmark posts, watch threads for updates, and jump back to where you stopped reading.
    Create account

When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%

  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%

  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 17 1.1%

  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.2%

  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.4%

  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 2.8%

  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 16.6%

  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 252 16.2%

  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 903 58.0%
  • Total voters
    1,557
Aaway said:
View attachment 966654
Click to expand...
Let's not forget what the last batch looked like.
SmartSelect_20191012-132919_Chrome.jpg
 
Last edited:
desu91 said:
No kidney stones but there's still a dead arm. GORD BLESS.
Click to expand...
This screencap encapsulates Jack's attitude to his health and the pernicious form of religiosity he embraces.

It shows a FB post from Jack saying, "Just went to my kidney doctor. He says that there's no issues regarding kidney stones. This is my third good check up. Thank the Lord. He gets all the credit."

We know that Jack eats absolute shit all the time, so this is not a humble man doing his best to improve his health while acknowledging our limited abilities to control our health. This is a man who's gladly given up control of his own health and destiny in his mind to the higher powers of his "pastor" and God, because if Jack does that then nothing is Jack's fault. Instead of seeing the moral universe of Christianity as a challenge to live an ethical life and continuously improve himself, Jack uses his belief in the existence and power of God to excuse his own shitty behavior.
 
Also, did anyone notice how morbid his Cooking With Jack logo is? It's his supposed upper torso simmering over a fire in a rather large pan, with the dead eyes rolled upwards and jaw hanging limp - an expression perfectly encapsulated by rigor mortis. Fat Jack's God had been giving signs (i.e. crematorium), but he's simply ignoring it.
 
Gladatha said:
Let's not forget what the last batch looked like.View attachment 968414
Click to expand...
Why would you share this on facebook? Do your friends and family really need to SEE it to know that you had kidney stones? I mean I can kind of understand being curious yourself of the results of a procedure like this, I think my dentist let me hold and look at my wisdom teeth when he took them out since I only had two out at a time and only used local anesthesia so I was alert enough to drive myself, but I wouldnt have posted a photo of it like, "WOAH LOOK AT THESE GNARLY BASTARDS!"

He even has a hashtag apologizing for the photo so he fucking knew, but put it up anyway.

His timeline must be awful: Here's a photo of Jack at his son's wedding, heres a one star review of an innocent restaurant he left them because HE didnt read the ad correctly and thinks he should have gotten a full like 6 pound rack of beef ribs or something for 10 dollars, here's a photo of Jack and Tammy on their cruise, here's a gross photo of Jack's bodily excretions. here's a photo of Jack at his son's high school graduation...

Also I saw his business card and I just know he's the type of guy to be proud of not tipping, but leave something like his "Please watch on youtube! Like comment subscribe!" business card and scribble "Get a REAL job" as a 'tip'. Or leave that monopoly money that looks like real money on one side but the back has a bible quote and implores you go to their church.
 
Last edited:
January Cyst said:
i don't know if this has been pointed out before, but what are those bottles with dispensers on his counter?
Maybe syrup for coffee?
View attachment 968741
Click to expand...

The left and right are definitely Torani coffee flavor syrup, which is mostly sugar water with flavoring. They do have sugar free variations, but there's a "Sugar Free" above the name and the one on the right doesn't have it. So I'm sure they're very KEEEEEEEETO.

Not sure what the one in the middle is but pretty sure it's main ingredient is also sugar and lots of it.
 
AnOminous said:
The left and right are definitely Torani coffee flavor syrup, which is mostly sugar water with flavoring. They do have sugar free variations, but there's a "Sugar Free" above the name and the one on the right doesn't have it. So I'm sure they're very KEEEEEEEETO.

Not sure what the one in the middle is but pretty sure it's main ingredient is also sugar and lots of it.
Click to expand...

It's blurry as hell, but the middle one looks like the Da Vinci brand of coffee syrup, and I might be wrong but I think the blue label is sugar free. Looks like it's definitely fuller than the other two though.
 
Jack promised he gave up coffee after caffeine caused his first stroke, so he's definitely not using these syrups, even if they are keto-friendly.
I also didn't even know you could buy these; I've only seen them in fast food restaurants and maybe gas stations that sell coffee.
 
EvilDroid64 said:
Jack promised he gave up coffee after caffeine caused his first stroke, so he's definitely not using these syrups, even if they are keto-friendly.
I also didn't even know you could buy these; I've only seen them in fast food restaurants and maybe gas stations that sell coffee.
Click to expand...

He definetly hasn't quit coffee, as his giant coffee mugs show up for each live chat. As far as Torrani flavor pumps, you can definitely get them at Sam's Club.
 
1570966544247.png


Let's remember the last time he tried to blunt a knife:

He saws a ceramic knife into a wooden spoon and is shocked that it breaks... he then keeps doing it.
 
JimmyHill'sBlarms said:
Those look like the bottles of Torani syrup that are used to flavor Coffee and what not.
Click to expand...

It's Torani's sugar free syrup edition. :story:

EvilDroid64 said:
Jack promised he gave up coffee after caffeine caused his first stroke, so he's definitely not using these syrups, even if they are keto-friendly.
I also didn't even know you could buy these; I've only seen them in fast food restaurants and maybe gas stations that sell coffee.
Click to expand...

Yeah caffeine caused your first stroke, sure Jack, sure, shoving down metric shit tons of undercooked, greasy sewage unhealthy junk down your gullet surely had nothing to do with it.
Torani has an online store too where you can buy the stuff.
 
Last edited:
Gladatha said:
View attachment 969292
Click to expand...

Knife Aid seems okay for home chefs and people that don't know shit about knives, but for those who are specific about their blades are thoroughly disappointed. There's one exceptionally spergy yelp review where the user sent in seven knives with VERY detailed specifications and none of them were acceptable.

Jack will find this company amazing.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom