💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

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When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%

  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%

  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 17 1.1%

  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.2%

  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.4%

  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 2.8%

  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 16.6%

  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 252 16.2%

  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 902 58.0%
  • Total voters
    1,556
Gladatha said:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=XnbaVyLkat4
I watched the video of the guy Jack did the collaboration with and the guy seems super nice and despite using jarred seasonings and sauces came out with a really nice result that looked appetizing. So it definitely can be done without the hideous mess that Jack usually creates.

He also is very humble and responds in a professional manner in the comments section. I think this guy is everything that Jack is trying to be as a youtuber.

Also Jack did not link him in his description. I had to look for him myself.
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The Liquid Scalfani saga has begun.
 
Dave Meltzer said:
It seems like over half the comments on the video are by people that also have their own cooking show. I've noticed this with the food reviewers as well. It's like a big circle jerk.
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After a quick skim of some of those channels, they all appear to use photos of the actual prepared food, so that's at least a half point they get above Jack.
 

Where to begin.

  1. The whole video is somehow out of focus/blurry. Every shot.
  2. Jack greets us standing behind his favorite "device" in recent memory. Does he like it so much because it can almost block his whole gut from the camera?
  3. This episode will be a competition, to see who can make juicier pork chops. Jack says that WE will decide whose comes out better, blowing right over the fact that he has every from of feedback disabled.
  4. Jack instructs us to take the onions out of the cooker after they sauté. To Jack, "sauté " means cook on high until the edges are burnt. I suppose black is a shade of brown?
  5. He says not worry about the onion bits left in the cooker, he will deal with those in a minute.
  6. After searing the chops, we see that "deal with" meant just leaving them in, so now they are definitely burnt.
  7. Jack proceeds to deglaze whatever is burnt onto the bottom of his nonstick cooker. Who knows if there was even anything to deglaze, we never actually see the bottom of the cooker.
  8. Jack fumbles with the lid for a full 10 seconds and takes 3 attempts to get it on right. If there was any part to cut out this was it, Jack. Maybe trade this clip for the one where you add the dishes namesake ingredient in.
  9. Cue the money shot! Featuring: a pork chop in a pool of thin gravy, covered in onions and blobs of cornstarch.
  10. Jack gets Jr. to help out today, because he still has two functioning limbs. He struggles slightly to cut through the meat. Is it not actually tender? Is it because it's served in a fucking bowl? We'll never know for sure, there is no taste test.
I wish they had made a strawpoll or something for voting. But Jack could never allow that. The results would be too devastating.
 
Religion is Dead said:
I skimmed the entire video and I never saw where he put the sour cream in. You can also tell that the corn starch didn't dissolve all the way and is just hanging out on the pork.
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That Jack he made a dish missing the named ingredient
 
It isn't just that he forgot the sour cream. He didn't sauté either the onions or pork chops long enough and he added no olive oil or butter to saute them in. Two cold pork chops is going to make an instant pot ice cold immediately. One at a time. And the idiot didn't make a slurry of the corn starch before adding it. It's going to be nasty clumps of corn starch. Pressure cookers tend to make stuff soupy. That's why you don't cook in the pot. You put a container inside the pot with the food in it, so your liquid that is needed to create pressure is separate from your food. Marinate those pork chops and dry them thoroughly them before cooking, don't boil them in worcestershire sauce and broth.

WHO MAKES DRY PORK CHOPS? If you do, let your mom cook them for you.
 
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Aunt Myrna said:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=kWbTkL98m3U
Where to begin.

  1. The whole video is somehow out of focus/blurry. Every shot.
  2. Jack greets us standing behind his favorite "device" in recent memory. Does he like it so much because it can almost block his whole gut from the camera?
  3. This episode will be a competition, to see who can make juicier pork chops. Jack says that WE will decide whose comes out better, blowing right over the fact that he has every from of feedback disabled.
  4. Jack instructs us to take the onions out of the cooker after they sauté. To Jack, "sauté " means cook on high until the edges are burnt. I suppose black is a shade of brown?
  5. He says not worry about the onion bits left in the cooker, he will deal with those in a minute.
  6. After searing the chops, we see that "deal with" meant just leaving them in, so now they are definitely burnt.
  7. Jack proceeds to deglaze whatever is burnt onto the bottom of his nonstick cooker. Who knows if there was even anything to deglaze, we never actually see the bottom of the cooker.
  8. Jack fumbles with the lid for a full 10 seconds and takes 3 attempts to get it on right. If there was any part to cut out this was it, Jack. Maybe trade this clip for the one where you add the dishes namesake ingredient in.
  9. Cue the money shot! Featuring: a pork chop in a pool of thin gravy, covered in onions and blobs of cornstarch.
  10. Jack gets Jr. to help out today, because he still has two functioning limbs. He struggles slightly to cut through the meat. Is it not actually tender? Is it because it's served in a fucking bowl? We'll never know for sure, there is no taste test.
I wish they had made a strawpoll or something for voting. But Jack could never allow that. The results would be too devastating.
Click to expand...

"It's so easy, you can do it with one hand tied behind your back"

lol...
 
JackDavis said:
I think he does it for the money. It may not be as much as it used to be, but there's no way Tammy pays for that house, the 8 grills and the church tithe all by herself.
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If I remember right his mother died and left him the house. That's why they moved from CA to TN. I think he was just eeking out money for grills and useless kitchen shit. This money pit of a show probably has great tax benefits too m

Aaway said:
well now we know where jack jr works

View attachment 676230
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Really hoping we get to see the wedding. The fiancée's parents must be thrilled.

Aaway said:
how many guys do you know who wear minecraft snapbacks and pokemon shirts, play pokemon go religiously, and have suffered 2 strokes?

not many i'd guess
Click to expand...
Only the pedo in the park, but he hasn't stroked yet.
 
Zero fks to give said:
If I remember right his mother died and left him the house. That's why they moved from CA to TN. I think he was just eeking out money for grills and useless kitchen shit. This money pit of a show probably has great tax benefits too m
Click to expand...
His mom did die, but she lived in CA too. The Scalfani Clan moved to TN because Tammy got a job out there and they wanted to get Jr away from the gays.
 
Aaway said:
i'd be pretty shocked if there was a wedding

hopefully the girl realizes the scalfanis are not good people and that she could do far better
Click to expand...

This is a girl who accepted a wedding proposal from a guy who unironically went 'suns out, guns out' in a LeBron jersey.

She knows what's in store for her.
 

Imagine sending knives to a guy who could barely cut a tomato when he had use two hands. This dude used to hold down vegetables and meat with his hamfist while he tried to slice them.

Uses a 5" paring knife to slice a tomato.
Kitchen shears to chop celery.
6" Meat Cleaver to chop celery.
7" Meat Cleaver to slice carrots.
7" Santoku knife to slice onions (Looks like a normal chef's knife, first time he used the right one)

God and he does the slice a pineapple in mid air thing that scares the fuck out of me. This time with his gimpy arm. The pineapple spins a little and he is completely autistic about it.
 
[QUOTE="JackDavis, post: 4387538]
God and he does the slice a pineapple in mid air thing that scares the fuck out of me. This time with his gimpy arm. The pineapple spins a little and he is completely autistic about it.
[/QUOTE]
God this is just fantastic. This is ridiculously hilarious. This is a dude who's had two strokes and lost 80% use of his dominant arm and he's such a manchild he wants to do that college freshman thing your friend drunkenly tried to do with an overripe canteloupe and brand new expensive quality knives he got as a HS graduation present. Except Jack is an insecure manchild, so he wants to do it with a (probably) heavier object, with barbs and thicker skin, with shitty free knives he got as a promo deal, and wants to use his gimp arm to show off how stronk and macho and capable he is. Quality and Jack are antithetical; you know any quality company wouldnt really sponsor Jack because they dont really need it, there are better sponsors, and anyone really looking would see Jacks stats arent shit--hes disabled comments and never links out.

BTW on never linking away Pewdiepie has a video on Matpat where he explains why youtubers wont do it--when you link away from youtube in your description, it messes with your stats and how youtube promotes and reccommends your videos because they want users to stay on the site. Im sure Jack read that on some shitty "How to be successful at youtube" site or video but didnt fully comprehend or bother to think how it relates to running a youtube business, because hes selfish and thinks no businesses should ever compromise or give anything up to others (unless its some wage worker he's yelling at to get the manager because he ate half his reuben before deciding it didnt hsve enough cheese, mezt and sauce and he wants another, new one because the stress and trauma is gonna make him stroke out and itll be their liability.)
 
tumblr_pnp88oK3hc1xc18kyo1_640.gif


Notice how he closes his eyes to avoid the deadly pineapple juice from possibly phasing through his glasses?
So alpha.
 
I wonder why his last 2 videos are 1080p60 all of a sudden, It's especially weird to see 60fps when the video quality is crap.

Also, whatever knives he was complaining about not holding an edge; they must have been some the worst knives in existence to dull in a few months of once weekly use. (We know Jack doesn't cook except for the camera). That, or he abused them worse than his first born and that's why they got dull.
 
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Also I'm not impressed with knives on the first try. Of course they are sharp.

Call me, six months in when they are properly weathered and cared for. His abhorrence to sharpening knives really annoys me. No wonder he has to buy a new set every other day.
 
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