💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[John Carmack]

 

[Hungry Homeless Handjob]

https://youtube.com/watch?v=wXmOQabEoQA

OK so Jack spends the first minute of the video talking about physically hitting his dog and how he's going to escalate the abuse until he "wins". I'm just going to stop here and go for a walk or something.

 

[Delilah Radio Show]

"It tastes like a jockstrap! Not that I've ever tasted a jockstrap."

 

[Phil Ken Sebben]

I mean, it's almost like it's Springtime and the bugs and the snakes are coming back out now that it's warmer.

And it was just a silly little garter snake. Pick it up and watch it adorably try to gum you, they're totally harmless. I get that the fear is built into our brains and it's hard to defeat for some but damn they were hysterical.

Well... even if it is a garter snake and they don't have fangs they do have sharp little teeth and those bites can get infected if you don't clean them out properly. But yeah, it's one of the most harmless snakes out there that you don't even bother worrying about. The way these two acted it was like nature was out to get them.

Bruh at this point I just wanna see jack attempting Carbonara.

NO! Bad poster! Do not ask him to make Carbonara. He's going to make it from bacon, that dried sawdust he called parmesan and half-beaten eggs not to mention some keto friendly pasta.

Spoiler: pasta sperging

Carbonara is one of the greatest pastas out there. Dead simple to make but tastes awesome. Guanciale, or cured pork jowl, is what it calls for. You can use pancetta if necessary but it's not the same. It's a much stronger tasting cured meat than bacon, has a better texture and the fat almost melts away completely into your sauce. Use pecorino romano instead of parmigiano-reggiano or a combination of the two and both the cheese and the egg are added after taking it off the heat. The heat from the pasta is all that's needed to cook / melt the cheese and not get all curdled. This gives it a rich, creamy sauce that you don't get otherwise.

Mushbrain would just add it all together in the pan and come out with big heaping gobs of scrambled egg and what he calls cheese and call it a home run,

https://youtube.com/watch?v=wXmOQabEoQA

Faggot claims he knows what falafel and hummus are but doesn't know what tahini is? Get fucked Mushbrain.

And yeah, anybody could have told you it would taste like shit.

 

[Kermit Jizz]

https://youtube.com/watch?v=wXmOQabEoQA

The bread was somehow the least interesting thing in this vid. He has confirmed two major things. One, Jack is a horrible dog owner and doesn't know the first thing about dog behavior/training. I could write a small essay on the things he got wrong just in this video. He also clearly hates Hope and is probably hitting her more than is reasonable. Look how fucking angry he was that a puppy dare interrupt his filming.


Second, Jack is really really really fucking gay. That jock strap analogy was way to specific to not come from experience or fantasy. His excuse of "Oh I was just thinking about what jock straps would taste like, I don't actually know" is basically an admission he fantasies about burly young men gagging him with their sweaty jock straps. We knew Jack was deep in the closet, but God damn I didn't expect Jack to be that deviant.

 

[densedance]

Oh God, can't imagine how he handles that poor pupper if Tammie isn't around.

Also who would've thunk it that Tahini with Eggs & Baking Powder is going to be bad.

 

[Radical Sloth]

Wow what a shock. He keeps hitting his dog in the face harder and harder and the dog does not like that and responds by biting harder and harder.

Abuser trash.

 

[Rod Dangerous]

“I took him down to the ground and […] was choking him out,” but it’s a months-old puppy.

 

[Tony Martin's Force Ghost]

"I am trying to prove my dominance in the house" not against Tyrone dicking down Tammy but a puppy that hates you.

 

[Laughingjoke2]

I hope that Hope the puppy eats his dead arm while he sleeps.

 

[Aaway]

jack.......i don't think you're one to be calling out someone else's mental capacities

 

[Dead Air]

It really bothers me how Jack's fat lower jaw/lip protrudes out farther than this upper lip.

 

[Chorton]

Even a puppy knows what a soy cuck Jack is.

 

[GentlemanFaggot]

Spoiler: pasta sperging

Carbonara is one of the greatest pastas out there. Dead simple to make but tastes awesome. Guanciale, or cured pork jowl, is what it calls for. You can use pancetta if necessary but it's not the same. It's a much stronger tasting cured meat than bacon, has a better texture and the fat almost melts away completely into your sauce. Use pecorino romano instead of parmigiano-reggiano or a combination of the two and both the cheese and the egg are added after taking it off the heat. The heat from the pasta is all that's needed to cook / melt the cheese and not get all curdled. This gives it a rich, creamy sauce that you don't get otherwise.

Mushbrain would just add it all together in the pan and come out with big heaping gobs of scrambled egg and what he calls cheese and call it a home run,

Don't forget adding cream, that's what Jack would do because that's what his boomer restaurants do.

 

[captkrisma]

I'm I'm huge proponent of "no bad puppers, just bad owners".

Idgaf about the recipe at this point or MATI ratings, Jack got me pissed off and he's lucky someone who lives in the area doesn't go off and slash his fucking tires.

 

[80's Dad]

Given that Jack hits his poor little dog and doesn't like to edit his footage, how long till we get a Brooke Houts situation?

 

[Spasticus Autisticus]

Archive (720p)

The juxtaposition between Jack's wholesome Downs-like demeanor in the intro and him describing physically punishing "HOPE" for testing its boundaries is really something.

More Combining With Jack. Jack has to pretend that he doesn't know what tahini is because he's ashamed of his Arab ancestry. He had to special order it because he doesn't know that you can just get it at Kroger or whatever. "I'm not gonna be here that long", oh, if only... Floppy bowl makes its return. Jack describing how to beat eggs: "You're gonna mix those eggs until they're almost, I guess you could say they're kinda lighter than, they'll kind of lighten up, so they'll mix."

Jack is disappointed because tahini, egg and baking powder doesn't rise like real bread or taste very good. Yeah no kidding. Jack gets angy at "HOPE" playing in the background. This really must be his idea to revitalize the channel because it is just so badly thought out and executed, it couldn't be anyone else's idea.

 

[Phil Ken Sebben]

Wow what a shock. He keeps hitting his dog in the face harder and harder and the dog does not like that and responds by biting harder and harder.

Abuser trash.

What? It worked with Garrett didn't it? Choke the bitch until blood starts coming out his nose and he almost passes out. I mean that's how you deal with things that displease you. Hit them or choke them until they comply. Or in Garrett's case tell his old man to fuck off, make something of himself and adopt his grandfather as being his father figure.

jack.......i don't think you're one to be calling out someone else's mental capacities

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Yeah that's what we need. More people spreading the virus around and causing even more variations that might be worse.

Fucking brilliant.

Don't forget adding cream, that's what Jack would do because that's what his boomer restaurants do.

They do that with risotto as well. The only thing that makes risotto creamy is the starch, the broth and LOTS of mixing.

 

[Adamska]

Jack, when faced with a young puppy that likes to play bite a lot, decides to respond by fucking hitting her. Very cool Jack, you just set all my bones in attack position.

Seriously, puppies have a bad habit of play biting they don't resolve until they become a few months older. They don't know when they get too rowdy sometimes. My dogs had a habit of nipping me too when they were pups; I rolled with it and treated it as playing, stopping when they bit too hard to teach them how far they can go.

What a subhuman monster destined for hell.

 

[feral cat #6385]

Untitled.mp4

Even a puppy knows what a soy cuck Jack is.

"Local Man Gets Face Eaten Off By Dog"

I like where this is heading!

I hope that Hope the puppy eats his dead arm while he sleeps.

I hope he goes to the Ukraine for his next food wars, makes videos about how the Ukrainians suck and the Russians r awesome. Gets picked up by Russia Today. Has hit pieces written about him from The Daily Beast. Then has a run in with the Azov Battalion. And gets crucified.