💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Phil Ken Sebben]

You also don't visibly struggle and have to pull on them to bite the meat off. Personally, I kind of prefer them "overdone" so they're falling apart, but even the more normal way of doing them doesn't sound like you're gnawing on a live animal struggling to get away.

Jagoff has said he prefers them with a bit of "bite" in other words underdone.

Why not salt and pepper each and finish with each "sauce"?

That would imply that Jagoff cared about the end product.

Yeah, because in his terms, the "game was rigged" as there were no dedicated judges but the visitors themselves voted. I would like to know how many people got the runs from eating Jack's environmental disaster.

Yeah but that's why it was rigged against him because he had no family / friends there to vote for his version. Had there been actual judges he thought they'd all vote for his chili because he only used "quality ingredients".

Quality of course being a code word for, "what's the cheapest stuff I can get"?

Also, who the fuck puts a coffee-crusted brisket in chili? Even if it was fresh and cooked right, that's a horrific combination that'll certainly induce projectile vomiting.

The ingredients themselves aren't the problem although I'd suggest using a chuck or blade roast if you plan on using chunks of meat instead of the ground stuff. Coffee can work in chili. Coffee can also work as part of a marinade for beef. It has some very earthy flavors which can work and if you use a cup of brewed coffee it's not going to taste bitter or anything. The issue is the meat itself was freezer burned, he used cheap ingredients and honestly thought that his chipotle peppers were what were going to get him the prize.

 

[AnOminous]

Jagoff has said he prefers them with a bit of "bite" in other words underdone.

He prefers chicken raw, too. That isn't even a preference, that's just being wrong and stupid. It isn't even like well-done steak, where most people view doing that as incredibly plebeian (including me), but it is in fact possible to make a steak well-done without completely ruining it by taking the effort to ameliorate the worst effects, i.e. drying it out and toughening it.

ETA: The fact that Buc-ee's chose Crossville of all places is bizarre to my mind. In all of TN, they came with Crossville? There's nothing, but meth and cows out that way.

There's I-40. It's a highway stop, like that South of the Border thing on I-95. You're going from somewhere to somewhere else, and you have to stop, so you might as well stop at that tourist trap thing you've been seeing signs for for 50 miles, if only just to see what it is.

Also there are apparently a lot of golf courses there.

 

[NO COMPRENDO 99]

The ingredients themselves aren't the problem although I'd suggest using a chuck or blade roast if you plan on using chunks of meat instead of the ground stuff. Coffee can work in chili. Coffee can also work as part of a marinade for beef. It has some very earthy flavors which can work and if you use a cup of brewed coffee it's not going to taste bitter or anything. The issue is the meat itself was freezer burned, he used cheap ingredients and honestly thought that his chipotle peppers were what were going to get him the prize.

Minor PL: The only time I ever had anything combining meat and coffee was some steak I had at a restaurant like a year or two ago, and it tasted like absolute ass. Figured it was the combo, but thinking about it, they probably fucked up somewhere on the way. Might give making more coffee/meat combos a try; even if it sucks, it'll still be miles ahead of whatever Jackoff has planned for his next video.

He prefers chicken raw, too. That isn't even a preference, that's just being wrong and stupid. It isn't even like well-done steak, where most people view doing that as incredibly plebeian (including me), but it is in fact possible to make a steak well-done without completely ruining it by taking the effort to ameliorate the worst effects, i.e. drying it out and toughening it.

Let's pray the third stroke for Jack Scalmonella comes from the ten thousandth raw chicken breast he consumes.

 

[captkrisma]

ETA: The fact that Buc-ee's chose Crossville of all places is bizarre to my mind. In all of TN, they came with Crossville? There's nothing, but meth and cows out that way. Maybe a cursory view of some foothills of much better mountains toward the East. It's bizarre all the way around.

It's also almost exactly halfway between Pigeon Forge and Nashville. If you're going to Pigeon Forge it's a chance to load up on food to avoid amusement park prices. Going to Nashville and don't want to pay through the nose for a brisket sandwich that you might not even like? You know exactly what you get with a Buc-ee's brisket sandwich wherever you go.

 

[Neko GF]

THE BIG BUC-EE'S REVIEW VIDEO
07/27/2022

Original:

Archive Processing (360p):

 

[Ihatejackscalfani]

Someone mentioned this previously in the thread but I am laughing hard that Jack buys a cup representing the Gadsden flag and mentions "that's not very right wing" and still buys the cup anyway.

Jack stroke logic.

EDIT: Or maybe he does think it's actually "right wing" and made a "joke" about it. Who fucking knows with this fat ass.

EDIT 2: MATI and political sperging here for a second. It annoys the fuck out of me seeing the Gadsden flag being waved around with MAGA and thin blue line bumper stickers by these boomer southern Conservatives.

 

[Compositesludge]

You also don't visibly struggle and have to pull on them to bite the meat off. Personally, I kind of prefer them "overdone" so they're falling apart, but even the more normal way of doing them doesn't sound like you're gnawing on a live animal struggling to get away.

Jack is preparing himself to catch and devour the forbidden meal: Hope. It's like if Greek Mythology and My 800 Pound Life wrote a fanfic together!

 

[GentlemanFaggot]

Someone mentioned this previously in the thread but I am laughing hard that Jack buys a cup representing the Gadsden flag and mentions "that's not very right wing" and still buys the cup anyway.

Jack stroke logic.

EDIT: Or maybe he does think it's actually "right wing" and made a "joke" about it. Who fucking knows with this fat ass.

Jack doesn't need the government treading on him, his stomach fat will tread on his organs plenty enough already.

 

[NO COMPRENDO 99]

THE BIG BUC-EE'S REVIEW VIDEO
07/27/2022

Original:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=KJ4Ntf9Q8EMArchive Processing (360p):
y2mate.com - THE BIG BUCEES REVIEW VIDEO_360p.mp4

Why does he use this intro music? Sounds like shitty kazoo edits you'd find on yt in the early 2010s.

Says the gas station is completely full, yet there's an entire booth open, quite literally, right next to him. Stroke brain coming through.

Him having an orgasm over the BBQ sauces is pretty fitting, he probably uses his good arm to jerk off with them.

Of course he would highly praise the sandwich on its meat content. I like meat too, but I don't like man-meat like Jack secretly does.

 

[The Southwest Strangla]

Someone mentioned this previously in the thread but I am laughing hard that Jack buys a cup representing the Gadsden flag and mentions "that's not very right wing" and still buys the cup anyway.

Jack stroke logic.

EDIT: Or maybe he does think it's actually "right wing" and made a "joke" about it. Who fucking knows with this fat ass.

Love how fat old men like Jack are always on alarm to fight the government. if the “evil” “communist” government decides to kill us all, at least we have an old, fat, downie to “protect” us with his stroke arms. Lol I swear old people like Jack get into this shit because the eyes having a midlife crisis.

 

[Hungry Homeless Handjob]

THE BIG BUC-EE'S REVIEW VIDEO
07/27/2022

Original:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=KJ4Ntf9Q8EMArchive Processing (360p):
y2mate.com - THE BIG BUCEES REVIEW VIDEO_360p.mp4

"The restrooms are so clean you can eat off the floor... Not that I'm going to" As we all know, Jack does not hesitate to eat floor food on camera.

2:16 "THIS IS LIKE WATERBURGER"

4:20 Jack stands in the doorway and blocks everyone trying to come in while filming.


In the top-left we can see Jack standing in everyone's way while his gimp arm hangs limply at his side.



This woman seems thrilled to have Jack's camera within six inches of her face.

7:19 Some maniac has brought their pet monkey to the store. As usual, Jack starts filming before bothering to ask the owner if he can record her.

7:57 Jack helpfully yells the name of each section so the other patrons know what's available to purchase.

9:07 Jack is creaming his adult diaper over the huge selection of rubs and sauces. "I hope my credit card's got room!" What a great encapsulation of how pathetic Jack is. Not only does he feel entitled to Tammy's money, he's acutely aware that all their credit cards are nearly maxed out and could start being declined at any moment.

10:02 "THIS IS THE COFFEE BAR! LOOK AT THIS. COFFEE BAR, COFFEE BAR."



Afterwards they all sample the food in the car. Nothing too interesting though 16:15 is a marvelous specimen of blubbery Jack in action. Just look at how fucking fat he's gotten.



Even Bitmoji HOPE is sick of Jack's shit.

Jack Gawker Gallery:



Imagine how much of a fat, obnoxious moron you have to be for people in Buc-Ees to shoot eye-daggers at you?

 

[Rod Dangerous]

Thus ends July, in which Jack and Tammy goatse a dollar.

 

[Spasticus Autisticus]

View attachment 3534845

"The restrooms are so clean you can eat off the floor... Not that I'm going to" As we all know, Jack does not hesitate to eat floor food on camera.

2:16 "THIS IS LIKE WATERBURGER"

4:20 Jack stands in the doorway and blocks everyone trying to come in while filming.

View attachment 3534884
In the top-left we can see Jack standing in everyone's way while his gimp arm hangs limply at his side.

View attachment 3534902

This woman seems thrilled to have Jack's camera within six inches of her face.

7:19 Some maniac has brought their pet monkey to the store. As usual, Jack starts filming before bothering to ask the owner if he can record her.

7:57 Jack helpfully yells the name of each section so the other patrons know what's available to purchase.

9:07 Jack is creaming his adult diaper over the huge selection of rubs and sauces. "I hope my credit card's got room!" What a great encapsulation of how pathetic Jack is. Not only does he feel entitled to Tammy's money, he's acutely aware that all their credit cards are nearly maxed out and could start being declined at any moment.

10:02 "THIS IS THE COFFEE BAR! LOOK AT THIS. COFFEE BAR, COFFEE BAR."

View attachment 3534988

Afterwards they all sample the food in the car. Nothing too interesting though 16:15 is a marvelous specimen of blubbery Jack in action. Just look at how fucking fat he's gotten.

View attachment 3534991

Even Bitmoji HOPE is sick of Jack's shit.

Jack Gawker Gallery:

View attachment 3534861View attachment 3534863View attachment 3534878View attachment 3534896View attachment 3534910View attachment 3534913View attachment 3534926View attachment 3534932View attachment 3534957View attachment 3534965

Imagine how much of a fat, obnoxious moron you have to be for people in Buc-Ees to shoot eye-daggers at you?

You know it's bad when even a dude who looks like the Euphoric Atheist meme is looking at you like you're pathetic.

 

[The Southwest Strangla]

No jack, it’s because people are greedy and want to be a billionaire.

 

[EvilDroid64]

No jack, it’s because people are greedy and want to be a billionaire.View attachment 3535023

One ticket is two dollars. God forbid people take a chance with two fucking dollars.

 

[Mario6469]

THE BIG BUC-EE'S REVIEW VIDEO
07/27/2022

Original:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=KJ4Ntf9Q8EMArchive Processing (360p):
y2mate.com - THE BIG BUCEES REVIEW VIDEO_360p.mp4

Somewhat hard to hear but at 2:33 Janet says "You could have brought HOPE" Tammy responds with "Screw that shit"

 

[AnOminous]

You know it's bad when even a dude who looks like the Euphoric Atheist meme is looking at you like you're pathetic.

I wish one of these fuckers would give him a black eye instead of just the stinkeye.

 

[Dollar Duck]

Somewhat hard to hear but at 2:33 Janet says "You could have brought HOPE" Tammy responds with "Screw that shit"

Poor HOPE, to belong to such a disgusting family. I wish they'll donate her to someone who cares about dogs more than those two.

 

[charlesdickens]

Did he not need the scooty-puff? Seems hard to believe since he gets winded so easily from waddling a short amount. That one leg is pretty dead too.

Don't tread on me unless it's when I reap the benefits of the government's pretty good accessibility standards.

Other highlights not mentioned from those before, I thought when watching:

- Orgasm over Kosmos Q
- Jack can't process or make decisions on his own, strokebrain be damned, some things never change.
- Big sausage wrap..."that's interesting" and I assume he cut the dick joke he or someone else in the car made.
- "We're just passing food around" exemplifies how this thing is a drug for him.
- "C'moooon I need the money shot!"

 

[The Southwest Strangla]

Poor HOPE, to belong to such a disgusting family. I wish they'll donate her to someone who cares about dogs more than those two.

I swear she’s going to die from the heat if that downie keeps her outside. Wtf would he just let her out in 90-100 degrees