🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

  • 🏰 The Fediverse is up. If you know, you know.
  • Want to keep track of this thread?
    Accounts can bookmark posts, watch threads for updates, and jump back to where you stopped reading.
    Create account

Will Ralph see Xander on November 15th?

  • Yes

  • No

Results are only viewable after voting.
So, Ralph in the last x amount of days:

- Got big-leagued by a pedophile who laughed about Ralph begging for said pedophiles attention just a day before he went on a retarded 'heel turn' to try and get some semblance of control and relevancy back into his life (It didn't work).
- Tried to start the second great LA fire of 2025 after his absentee internet father told him he couldn't crash at his house and infest it with lice and bedbugs, only to immediately pussy out because he can't bring himself to burn that final bridge.
- Suicide baited on the internet to emotionally manipulate his retard fanbase, only to immediately walk it back because part of him must have realized it is fucking pathetic and only works on the mentally-ill women he guilts into sex and relationships.
- Admitted he cares more about this retarded e-drama than his own son.
- At some point in time, impotently flailed his gimp arm at a mexican bouncer, who no doubt tipped Ralph over like a cow right after, leading to our king having to bribe the local policia with that week's superchats to get out of a peepee poopoo mehico jail cell.

It's a strong start to 2025, but Ralph is a two pump chump both in real life and on the internet. Only time will tell if he can keep up the momentum needed to win the coveted Lolcow of 2025 award.
 
AnIntrepidCrow said:
So, Ralph in the last x amount of days:

- Got big-leagued by a pedophile who laughed about Ralph begging for said pedophiles attention just a day before he went on a retarded 'heel turn' to try and get some semblance of control and relevancy back into his life (It didn't work).
- Tried to start the second great LA fire of 2025 after his absentee internet father told him he couldn't crash at his house and infest it with lice and bedbugs, only to immediately pussy out because he can't bring himself to burn that final bridge.
- Suicide baited on the internet to emotionally manipulate his retard fanbase, only to immediately walk it back because part of him must have realized it is fucking pathetic and only works on the mentally-ill women he guilts into sex and relationships.
- Admitted he cares more about this retarded e-drama than his own son.
- At some point in time, impotently flailed his gimp arm at a mexican bouncer, who no doubt tipped Ralph over like a cow right after, leading to our king having to bribe the local policia with that week's superchats to get out of a peepee poopoo mehico jail cell.

It's a strong start to 2025, but Ralph is a two pump chump both in real life and on the internet. Only time will tell if he can keep up the momentum needed to win the coveted Lolcow of 2025 award.
Click to expand...
I can’t believe that Null on his podcast suggested that for 2025 Ralph was gonna do something extremely embarrassing. And Ralph proceeded to do something extremely embarrassing like the next day.
 
I for one want to believe the "Bouncher" incident happened.

Just imagine being a bouncer at some strip joint in Mexico, when this 5'1" mess comes stumbling out of nowhere, clearly intoxicated and hollering about fighting or some shit, you can't really make out any words from all of the slurring.
So you do your job and reject him at the door, when this little mutated creature tries to throw a punch with his barely functioning gimp arm. He misses as he has absolutely no coordination in this state, and you knock him out with a single blow.
You call an ambulance, even though dying in the street is probably the best outcome for this grotesque mass of flesh, it still would not be good for business. They pick him up, and ask if youd like to press charges, you say "no, he seems like he has enough problems."
 
Mr E. Grifter said:
You've got to feel for Xander, probably excited to see his dad for the first time in what must seem like forever - and at best he's going to turn up hungover, in unclean clothes with cuts and scrapes all over him. If he keeps getting exposed to this he might end up with a complex.
Click to expand...
How old is Demon Baby #1 now? 3 or 4? I doubt he's even capable of the kind of object permanence needed to recognise Ralph as the same person on the rare occasions he turns up for an hour. Poor kid's probably terrified being sealed in a room with this mysterious giant pig, scarlet-faced and sweating tequila from his pores.
Mr. Manchester said:
If it helps, Ralph, I hold you in higher esteem than Vito the Pedo. Rekieta and his new pedophile best friend Melton too, I've said that many times. So there ya go!
Click to expand...
Despite his many, many other failings, I can at least say Ralph has made me laugh many times. Never for the right reasons, but that's more than any of those other worthless degenerates have done.

I have also adopted many of his sayings, like announcing 'MY ARRIVAL IS FUCKING IMMINENT' in the group chat.
Necrosan said:
Yeah, right. He probably just sissy punched a mirror.
Click to expand...
Maybe he missed and hit the wall when he swung for the bouncer and that's why his hand is mangled.
 
Daddy's Angry Juice said:
I for one want to believe the "Bouncher" incident happened.

Just imagine being a bouncer at some strip joint in Mexico, when this 5'1" mess comes stumbling out of nowhere, clearly intoxicated and hollering about fighting or some shit, you can't really make out any words from all of the slurring.
So you do your job and reject him at the door, when this little mutated creature tries to throw a punch with his barely functioning gimp arm. He misses as he has absolutely no coordination in this state, and you knock him out with a single blow.
You call an ambulance, even though dying in the street is probably the best outcome for this grotesque mass of flesh, it still would not be good for business. They pick him up, and ask if youd like to press charges, you say "no, he seems like he has enough problems."
Click to expand...
Bold of you to assume he wouldn't knock himself out trying anything like that, also it's spelled amberlamps.
 
Die For Me! said:
It cannot be understated how much Ambien fucks up your brain and ability to sleep normally. Even at prescribed dosages, it's not supposed to be used in the long term at all. Ralph has been leaning on this for probably a year at least? Xanax turned his brain into Swiss cheese, but Ambien has made whatever was left leak out his ears.
View attachment 6845091
Click to expand...
We've seen the effects:
1736599190890.png
 
Ralph wants to get off the internet, stop his bullshit and see his kid.

Not exactly bad choices to make, Ethan.
 
I don't even know what to make of the bouncher bouncher thing, but we all know what will happen with his LA trip. He's crying and sniveling behind the scenes, suicide baiting and playing woe-is-me to get Dax and Vito to agree to hang out with him. Then he'll pretend like it was all a work and he got us good.
 
Mr E. Grifter said:
I don't speak fluent wet brain, but I can confirm Ralph is still not sober more than 8 hours after his last tweet.
Click to expand...
Travelling takes a lot out of normal people, to the point where they will take pills to make it easier. A disabled alcoholic hog needs to take quadruple what they take and wash it down with booze.

Mr E. Grifter said:
That said he went dark midday, and was looking for somewhere to stay. He could have slept on a park bench for all we know. I doubt he went back to Mexico in the state he's in
Click to expand...
He may have panic-bought a flight back to Mexico after he realized that Casa Herrera has no vacancy. That way, he can sleep at the airport rather than risk the streets of LA right now.

If he assumed that he'd be implicitly welcome to stay the night at Dax's house, I almost feel bad for him. That dang BROKE DICK JOHN POTTER MOON was right: Dax is transforming into a family man, and he has to listen to Marie when she says the hog can't stay over.

Ralph tries to console himself during his layover in Tijuana by using his favorite salve: violating women. In the process of creepshotting and molesting the local strippers, he got into a "fight" with the bouncer, leading to a fine.

Mr E. Grifter said:
No, without his social media presence and income Ralph has nothing. No family, no friends, no career, nothing. He can't afford to live his current lifestyle, without an income he won't be able to afford anything.
Click to expand...
You think he doesn't have a job lined up in Mehico, bish? He'll be painting walls with his lame hand and drinking booze with the other.
 
neger psykolog said:
Without knowing much about the area I am willing to bet they can spot the dumb, fat american tourist
Click to expand...
Disgusting fat men are their biggest customers, if you do not know much about Tijuana it is literally heaven for Ralph. Even more so than Vegas. It is not surprising that Ralph said he wants to live there, it is all hookers and drugs.

 
DSP for president 2032 said:
If he assumed that he'd be implicitly welcome to stay the night at Dax's house, I almost feel bad for him. That dang BROKE DICK JOHN POTTER MOON was right: Dax is transforming into a family man, and he has to listen to Marie when she says the hog can't stay over.
Click to expand...
Which means she might still end up murdering him when he fucks up!
 
Ethan Ralph is my hero.
he has reached the point where a mere mortal man would have killed himself in shame or regret four times over.
Yet he persists broken Rodecaster in hand.
Go with God Gallant Gunt.
 
Apparently the bouncher said to Ralph, "Ey mang! I fucking love Todo Recall, mang! You're the lady right? With the three tits! What happen to you, amigo? You get the uh, como se dice, the diabétus like Wilfer Brinley from Cocoon?" Ralph replied in a mumble, "Bish, kiss my ass, fuckin Josh Farm Kiwifaggot cancer patient nigger!" Which instigated the fight.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom