🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

[Capt. Jean Luc Ritard]

tbh this might be the sort of thing that could potentially result in aaron's charges being dropped.

"your honor these charges were initially brought against me in order to prevent me from testifying in a trial against the victim, and have now advanced to the point where friends and acquaintances of the victims are attempting to send letters to those in prison to threatened my life. Here are the receipts."

after all. for every win the ralphamale has, an equal or greater loss must occur. since he has fusion danced with rekieta via the photo his version of the sonichu curse impacts nick.

There won't be any receipts because he's too lazy to do it

 

[metroid_fetish_ii]

I'mma tell em yoo didnt wanna fite me at da Jim's driveway

 

[Historical Strelkov]

How'd the letter writing campaign work out in 2015?

 

[Franz Joseph]

Her real glowup was the day she fled from the pigman. Can you imagine being her, and waking up every day far away from him? It must be like Christmas every morning.

She left, but at what cost? Having to raise his piglet and a sore ass with a load of Mexican cum in it.

 

[Room Temp Shrimp]

That's some incredibly petty bullshit. A letter writing campaign? God, he's such a woman.

He's been emasculated so much and so severely over the past years that if it wasn't for him somehow, at least outwardly, maintaining a weirdly large amount of pride for himself I could see a gay or tranny arc in the future.

 

[HackerX]

There won't be any receipts because he's too lazy to do it

Gonna need a prison guard that filters through the mail to provide a count for received letters. I'm not sure which number would be funnier, 0 or 1. Irregardless, it's not like Aaron will end up in jail over this anyways. He won't even have the honor of being the first person convicted of revenge porn in his state, unlike the Ralphamale

 

[joebobmurphy]

Hey Ralph, if we ever had a sanctioned and consensual brawl I'd shit in your mouth, wipe on your beard and piss in your googly eyes. Screen cap that, pussy. Oh and your mom is burning in hell for squeezing you out. We both know you never gave a shit about her, but go ahead and do your "dey is attacking mah mom!" schtick.

 

[R00T]

There won't be any receipts because he's too lazy to do it

the receipts stating "i'm ethan ralph and me and the boys are gonna try to get aaron stabbed in jail" are all the receipts he and his lawyer would need to make an "these are disingenuous people attempting to harm me through the legal system" argument.

Look at it this way. if i was trying to get someone punished for revenge porn of a loved one or me i would not want someone muddying the waters with statements like these.

 

[Die For Me!]

Dick Masterson made a poll of hypothetical new punching bags to replace vito and Ralph is on it:

Ralph is desperate to get out of his situation:

extremely desperate:

please help me escape Mexico... bah voting in a twitter pol.... please...

 

[BlueArmedDevil]

So say the gunt gets the job, how fast does he fuck it up? Does he even make it to the first episode?

 

[Jump]

The poll doesn't matter. He cant afford to move to LA.
And TJ is also more expensive then where he is at. Plus, having to cross the border every day for the show would be a massive pain. He wouldn't do it.
Ralph doesn't get to live in the USA. He is stuck in that tin shack down in backwoods mexico.

 

[Look--an Alien!]

Dick Masterson made a poll of hypothetical new punching bags to replace vito and Ralph is on it:
View attachment 6372090
Ralph is desperate to get out of his situation:
View attachment 6372088
extremely desperate:
Ethan Ralph - Sh＊ts and Giggles!!!! DONT STOP!!! @dickmasterson [1830431008744730624].mp4
please help me escape Mexico... bah voting in a twitter pol.... please...

Lol his pilled out voice and movements just kill me

"There's been times in my life I've fucked up....just for shits and giggles"
cope pill pig

 

[Dixieland Buckaroo]

The poll doesn't matter. He cant afford to move to LA.
And TJ is also more expensive then where he is at. Plus, having to cross the border every day for the show would be a massive pain. He wouldn't do it.
Ralph doesn't get to live in the USA. He is stuck in that tin shack down in backwoods mexico.

Some people commute from TJ to San Diego (area) daily, but the border crossing is a bitch.

Very few people would do that even to Orange County, much less way the hell up to the Barbie Dream Mansion. That's easily 5+ hours of driving a day, without traffic.

Aside from that, working for Dax would mean his income would be taxed. No more tax-free, bish- all those BPITU fees would be going straight to child support.

Also, I have doubts that Ralph still has the truck.

 

[Pitbull Victim]

Dick Masterson made a poll of hypothetical new punching bags to replace vito and Ralph is on it:
View attachment 6372090
Ralph is desperate to get out of his situation:
View attachment 6372088
extremely desperate:
Ethan Ralph - Sh＊ts and Giggles!!!! DONT STOP!!! @dickmasterson [1830431008744730624].mp4
please help me escape Mexico... bah voting in a twitter pol.... please...

"He's getting 5-6K a month for sitting there and having people call him fat - I can definitely take on that position"

- Ethan Ralph, 2024


Archive

Debase yourself, piggy

 

[Kandinsky]

That's some incredibly petty bullshit. A letter writing campaign? God, he's such a woman.

To boot Theralphretort.com is currently suspended. What a way to make a splash by having one of your primary means of communication down.

 

[Drunkensailor]

I do not know which way I want this to go.
-ethan wins the poll and juju ( Dax Herrera/dick Masterson's alter ego who is analy violated while wearing a cow costume) decides to go with someone else.
-ethan wins, moves to socal, co-hosts the show and is kicked off a couple weeks later for either being drunk or boring.

Either outcome will lead to a bountiful harvest of corn, but I think the latter has more possibilities for Ethan to cease being boring. In addition, he will have money again and a nigger-rich gunt is my favorite kind.

 

[metroid_fetish_ii]

Lol his pilled out voice and movements just kill me

"There's been times in my life I've fucked up....just for shits and giggles"
cope pill pig

The end of that clip sounds exactly like Chris Chan. It's fucking uncanny how much lingering damage the demon can do.

 

[Don'tAnalizeMeBro!]

Assuming SMP got that same $5 - 6 thousand per month is that enough for SMP to live in SoCal considering people he legally owes money too, that he can’t hide behind “YEW CAIN’T FIN ME IN MESSICO, BISH!”, and his drugs, drinks, and hooker habit, all of which are a lot more expensive in the US?

 

[Ivan Daniloff]

Plus, having to cross the border every day for the show would be a massive pain. He wouldn't do it.

He would have to drive up through San Diego and Orange County to get to Hollywood with dick from TJ. It’s not commutable. There is absolutely nowhere in commutable distance to dick that Ralph can afford.

 

[HackerX]

He would have to drive up through San Diego and Orange County to get to Hollywood with dick from TJ. It’s not commutable. There is absolutely nowhere in commutable distance to dick that Ralph can afford.

To be fair, there's not many places in the US that Ralph can afford. Pigboy was claiming 70k as income during the revenge porn copyright dispute saga. Now, he's making much less, owes God knows how much in child support backpay, maxed out PlayStation credit cards, as well as the costs from the vehicular accident that caused him to abscond to Mexico in the first place. Plus, the much easier access for legal service from Faith, Pantsu, and who knows who else. It's not like anyone would approve him for a lease anyways either.

Pretty sure Juju is just fucking with the pig man for giggles.