frap
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Oct 22, 2021
Jack has a long history of DFE. It's even on legal record:
Archive everything.
Meet Jack Monroe, Face of Poverty
Working class and middle class. Non-binary and a woman. Lad-loving lezza. Vegan meat-eater. Rinses her spaghetti hoops because dried pasta is a privilege.
Jack is a British writer/cook/campaigner/online person. She first came to prominence in 2012 with her Hunger Hurts (HH) blog post where she described the crushing poverty she and her young son were in. This ultimately resulted in a publishing deal, with her first book being published two years later in 2014.
She has parlayed this success into sponsorships, additional book deals, Patreon subs, a large social media following, several awards, a couple of honorary doctorates, speaking engagements and a journalism career. For any normal person, this would be considered a resounding success. But as recently as summer 2022 Jack was still pleading poverty, claiming that she had been unable to buy basic toiletries for two years and had resorted to melting bars of soap to make DIY shower gel. She also removed the lightbulbs. Again.
The Jack Monroe story is a long and winding one but the overarching theme is her inability to keep her story straight and her frequent Twitter slap fights with anyone who dares question her story. It’s for this reason I will work through this OP chronologically, using Jack’s own words to tell her story.
And don't forget:
(a)
Some Background
Jack Monroe was born Melissa Hadjicostas on 17 March 1988 to a comfortably middle class family.
Although Companies House has her birth year listed as 1978.
She’s not like those chavvy working class types. She's middle class and well educated, dahling.
But she's also a working class dropout done good.
Her Greek grandad was wealthy, being both a landlord and a restauranteur.
Her dad was in the British Army and worked (works? This is from 2012) for Essex County Fire and Rescue Service.
That MBE is for his fostering work.
He's listed here (a) on page 17:
Jack confirms their house had a roof, she went to grammar school, and the foster kids were feral.
Big Dave is also listed as a landlord on Companies House.
Not one of those capitalist landlords though! Heavens no.
She's no stranger to playing the role of poor unfortunate soul for attention.
In 2009 she dabbled in photography and then tried her hand at writing in 2011.
Daddy (probably) got her a cushy job working for the fire service. With no qualifications or experience apart from a handful of GCSEs she was making 27k per annum in her early twenties. (More on Grenfell later.)
Oh, my mistake. It was actually 40k across three jobs. Practically unheard of for an unqualified inexperienced early twenty-something.
In 2011, she jacked in her well-paying job because she had a kid now and organising childcare was too overwhelming, despite the high income and the wide support network she mentions in a Guardian article dedicated to the father of Small Boy.
Which brings us to…
The Poverty (2011-2014)
In Tattle thread Jack Monroe #97 Get in the skip (a), a poster (colouredlines) helpfully put together a timeline of Jack’s poverty arc which the wiki expands on (a) further. I used this as a jumping off point for what follows, but ours will be thoroughly archived and include screencaps.
Short aside to explain tattle.life.
Strap in for The Poverty.
2011
In October Jack moves into a 2-bedroom flat after ending a relationship.
November is when Jack resigns from the fire service and sells her Omega Seamaster watch.
Then in December, Jack turns off the heating.
But on the 11th, has the means to invite people around for cakes, toys and chat according to her post in a Southend family group on FB.
Also sometime towards the end of 2011 is when she changed her name to Jack Monroe and sold her watch, iPhone and TV.
2012
Jack started her blog in February 2012. There's an archive here but it's not complete because she is a compulsive deleter (deletionist?).
Jack is unable to move to a cheaper flat as she can't afford a deposit.
Jack sells her iPhone (after already selling it in 2011) for a quarter of its original price, along with a bunch of other stuff.
The crazy bitch starts taking the lightbulbs out and unplugs everything.
No fresh food for you, Small Boy.
Well maybe that was just a temporary thing she did one month when it was particularly bad?
Oh. Nevermind. (Archive) Guess we won't be seeing that fridge again until 2014.
No bread and jam for SB either.
But that's just because Jack already ate it all.
Maybe if she hadn't been wasting money on booze she could have afforded a bit extra for him. This is from an article in 2017.
The past was alterable. The past never had been altered. Jack never drank during The Poverty.
Jack also sells her Ford Kia.
Two problems:
We'll come back to the autism later.
In July we get HH,
(a)
and she sells her guitar and TV, even though she'd already sold her TV in 2011 (screencap upthread).
The next month, on August 18, Jack has her infamous yard sale, where Jack sells her TV. Again.
The piano (a gift) was also sacrificed along with two more guitars and a third iPhone.
Small Boy has to make sacrifices too.
Tattle got hold of the flyer for the sale years after the fact.
She raises enough money to move them to a house share.
Tattle tells us that the comment on this FB post the day after the sale is from Jack's mother, so her parents were aware what was happening.
Less than a month after the yard sale, still pleading poverty, Jack refers to her last Abel & Cole delivery, indicating she has a subscription to the veg box scheme (an expensive subscription service for middle class types). The orginal blog post has since been deleted (archive on Tattle).
In December, Jack and SB are surviving on just £10 per week and plan to spend Christmas with her parents.
Nonetheless, by New Years Eve, in a now deleted post, Jack is brimming with optimism for the coming year in her blog.
What a fantastic ending. Just five months after Hunger Hurts, Jack is out of debt and has a bright future ahead. What an inspirational story. Let's see what exciting adventures await Jack and SB in the Year of our Lord 2013.
2013
Jack goes on the game and turns to crime in order to survive. (a)
In February, she starts writing for the Southend Echo as reported in The Guardian.
Between her new journalist career, winning awards, and being interviewed for all sorts of media, Jack finds time in March to take part in an outside sleep event to raise awareness for homelessness.
In her blog (Sleeping Rough in a Car Park) about the event, Jack is thankful she's never been homeless.
But also, she has.
In July, she writes her first column for the Grauniad, revealing she's in a house share with five others.
Huh. Still in debt apparently. Must have misread that now deleted NYE blog post earlier.
The fridge is (allegedly) switched back on between December 2013 and July 2014.
Speaking of which, let's have a look back at a small sampling of the recipes she managed with no fridge.
2014
Jack's January is looking pretty good.
In February her debut cookbook comes out. The one she wrote while missing a fridge.
And by May she's bagged herself a wealthy girlfriend.
Tattle ends the official Poverty there, with Jack hooking up with Allegra. But we'll see out the decade.
Post-Poverty, Pre-Pandemic (2014-2019)
2014 (cont'd)
In an interview, Jack says she came out to her readers in a blog post. Ngl I didn't know there was a hard r version of lezza.
But also she was out in school. Same article, just a few paragraphs down:
October and her second cookbook.
In November, Jack (who would never use her child for gain) tweets about then-PM David Cameron and loses a contract.
2015
The Kickstarter
After releasing two books (her debut A Girl Called Jack and another titled A Year in 120 Recipes), Jack decided it was time to start work on her third book, which she considered a direct successor to her first. Her first book had been named after her blog and now this follow up would be given the new name of her blog, Cooking on a Bootstrap.
She decided to go the Kickstarter route
and in less than 24 hours after launching had hit double the funding target.
She ended up raising nearly £70,000, with an initial goal of £8000. Very successful, by all accounts.
Anyway, the estimated delivery date was May 2016. The first copies don't get sent out until December 2017.
In March 2018 she claimed all UK copies were due to be sent out imminently.
As of 10 months ago (writing this in Jan 2023) there are still backers who never received their book.
Meanwhile it's been available on Amazon since August 2018:
2016
Vegan
New year new me. Jack goes vegan because it’s thrifty af.
'Prioritised a friendship'? That's a funny way to say 'caved immediately'.
SB has to fend for himself. She refers to him as being 8 in this 2018 blog post but he would have been maybe 6 when she first went vegan.
By 2018, Jack is still falling face first into the odd meat pie and has decided veganism is not thrifty af.
Trans Jack
May brings Jack's trans coming out (a).
Another fawning article about the genderfeels where she refers to herself as a woman,
implies men and women don't want to be treated as people,
and featuring some truly unfortunate photos.
2017
Social Anthrax
Back in May 2015, Katie Hopkins (who seems to exist entirely to rile up the leftwing press) got into a spat with Laurie Penny (another genderspecial champagne socialist keen to downplay her middle class upbringing) over some war memorial vandalism and then mixed her up with Jack Monroe. An easy mistake, to be fair.
Laurie Penny / Jack Monroe:
Katie Hopkins deleted the offending tweet then referred to Jack as social anthrax, and Jack sued her for damages and, in March 2017, won.
No I don't get it either, but here's the judgement: Monroe v Hopkins (a). The judge made some comments on Jack's Twitter useage:
Since this one success, Jack will occasionally threaten legal action.
She's yet to follow through on any threats.
In April she announced she'd been drinking 122 units of alcohol weekly.
And the Groucho (an expensive members only club) wants to know where she's been.
Also in April she reveals she has to use a walking stick due to arthritis in her legs.
Btw she gives talks like this.
She confirmed she'd be running for MP with some snark directed at Katie Hopkins for good measure.
Quits in a fortnight.
And the following month, never one to miss a tragedy, she cosplays at Grenfell and makes it all about her.
Patreon
At some point in 2017 she starts her Patreon. As of today, there is only one post on there (dated Oct 2022) apologising for the lack of content, despite what must be a healthy passive income from her army of simps.
2018
Jack admits she has a Twitter problem and says she has nine accounts on there.
In the same interview she claims she invented the word 'twunt'.
In August her Kickstarter book gets a full release. Many backers are still waiting for their copy (see upthread).
2019
Jack starts the year with another coming out. This time, she's an alcoholic.
Remember that autism thing? Well, in February she says she got diagnosed with autism just a few years ago.
By April, she was diagnosed aged 11 and her parents (her mother a nurse) who fostered children, adopted some of those fostered kids, and even won recognition for their work (her dad got an MBE for services to children) did nothing?
Bonus: compares herself to Turing.
In May it's Tin Can Cook time.
In December, Vegan(ish) is released.
And alcoholism is no more!
And in just one ye—
Uh. Well, maybe just pretend you didn't see that.
The Pandemic
2020
TheCabal Canal of Hausfraus (Tattle)
2020 rolls around and brings with it a new decade, a new pandemic and, on the very first day of the year, the first Tattle thread on Jack. They've got the measure of her from the start.
They've also got a wiki (a) for their thread subjects. Below are the current entries on Jack Monroe.
Jack Monroe 1 (a)
Jack Monroe 2 (a)
Jack Monroe 3 (a)
Jack Monroe 4 (a)
Slopalong (a) (Jack's recipes as tried by Tattlers)
Jack Memes (a)
Jack Media (a)
I'll let them explain some of their vocab:
Think of Tattle as a bit like the (British female) OnA to Jack's Patrick Tomlinson.
THAT MAN and Daily Kitchen
March rolls around, and lockdown with it. THAT MAN (Jamie Oliver) is commissioned to do a cooking show for Channel 4 and Jack has an absolute shit fit about it on Twitter.
Nigella joins in, and Jack leaps to her defence when the hypocrisy is pointed out.
She ends up getting her own cooking show on BBC as a result.
Despite that fact that she was claiming she couldn't leave the house before all the above.
The entire debacle is summed up in this article.
In May there's a new book out.
On the same day it's released she makes a startling claim.
Jack on Tattle
In June, Jack shows up on Tattle (#31), coming straight in with claims of libel and defamation.
Daily Kitchen Lives gave her sads.
She reiterates her l33t triangulation abilities.
And repeats her autism was diagnosed when she was 11 and that her fostering, adopting, award-winning-for-services-to-children parents neglected to act on that information.
Kitten
A few days later, Jack gets a kitten. The situation is short-lived. Jack prioritises trying to prove 3 vets and the haterz wrong and an innocent being needlessly suffers as a result. I'm putting it behind a spoiler because it's quite upsetting.
COVID
At the end of 2020 she has COVID and posts this misleading-at-best, cancer-cosplay-at-worst photo on Twitter.
An hour later she goes for a walk and mistakes a glove for a dead pigeon.
2021
As far as I can tell, apart from this tweet that she deleted soon after posting,
2021 seemed relatively quiet by Jack standards.
Recent events (January 2022-now)
2022
Vintage Cutlery
In January Jack Monroe splashed the cash on some vintage cutlery, got some 'freebies', and couldn’t resist showing it off on Twitter.
The same day, someone on Tattle finds the listing (eBay link unfortunately not archived), revealing she knowingly paid for at least 7 sets and spent at least £105.
Vimes Boots Index
Just a few days later, Jack claims rice prices are up 344%.
Just don't look at the replies.
Jack declares she’s setting up her own price index to track all these complicated numbers.
Telegraph
She gets approval to use the name from Pratchett's estate and Pratchett’s daughter (not so surprising given his daughter simps for the twans).
Her records are forensic.
She wants YOU to send her your receipts.
The following month she was sobbing in Asda.
Not for the first time. It started back in the old money days, before she was born (or not, if that Companies House birth year is the correct one).
In May, the stats prove Jack wrong.
But forensic autist Jack doesn't concern herself with mere details.
One year later, there have been no further developments on the much vaunted VBI.
Harold
It's March and Jack is loved up. Her new love avoids social media and she's secretive about his identity, right down to his sex (got to hold on to that raging lesbian cred). He works 'part-time in a little shop' (this will come up again later). She refers to him as OH, or 'other half'. Tattle starting calling him Old Harold (as in Hide the Pain Harold) instead.
She met his family over Easter and started referring to his parents as her in-laws. Also she made this cake for them (Tattle).
In June they went to Dordrecht for what Jack called a romantic holiday. Tattle suspects Jack was just tagging along on his business trip. Less than a week later he breaks up with her. Unfortunately, Jack seems to have deleted a lot of her Twitter output about this, but there's a history in tweets on Tattle (a).
Another lawsuit?
In May, Lee Anderson, Tory MP, says our smol pixie is making bank off the proles.
Guardian
Oopsy doodle.
Months later.
But she took donations for the case.
Even though
Tinder
Two weeks after Harold leaves, Jack joins Tinder. We know this because she shared her profile with her half a million Twitter followers.
Btw you see that University of Essex bit? She has an honorary degree from there, not a real one. She also has one from Coventry.
According to Tattle (a):
HH2
It's the height of summer and Jack reveals some troubling insight into her life with her latest blog post The Curse of the Poverty Hangover, Ten Years On. It all seems so familiar, but with a little extra thrown in.
Two years of not being able to afford basic toiletries? Here's what she was up to in the months leading up to HH2:
With a decade of contradicting receipts, people have started looking into Jack's story.
Blocked and Reported
Jack Monroe: Saint or Scammer? (This is an archive of the original, she's since posted more here.)
Jack Monroe: An Investigation (a)
Pasta
In August, someone tweeted about a JM recipe that called for rinsing the sauce off canned spaghetti hoops, and Jack responded that dried pasta is a privilege not available to the poors.
Burger Boy
She has a date with Burger Boy, so-called (by Jack) because he took her out for burgers before the following happened.
A few hours later she was sobbing on Radio 4.
Potatoes (dire)
In September, Jack shared some potatoes.
The reviews are less than favourable.
Plays the oppressed card.
The oppressed are unimpressed.
Tweet
Tweet
Then this.
Was it the roasties wot did it?
Time to flounce.
Even though she has no problem passing judgement on others.
Some are suspicious all may not be how it appears.
Tweet
Tweet
Tweet
Don't worry, she just loves a good flounce. Here's one example from 2018.
Even Jack's own people are pissed off with her.
Patreon redux
At the end of the year, after years of their complaints, Jack finally deals with those pesky Patreon supporters, including the overseas ones.
Correction: Except the overseas ones.
2023
Latest book comes out.
The publisher immediately releases a day 1 patch.
After the release, Blocked and Reported ended up revisiting the topic of Jack.
And shortly after the book release, up pops a Guardian interview.
Before rehab in 2021 she was slamming the liquor and opiates.
She's for real and for true working class.
Bit of a far cry from how she previously described her childhood summers.
Tattle have been collecting records on her expensive furniture (and numerous other things) for a while.
But guise she was just doing a chaos!
She struggles because she's freelance.
But she knows how to manage her money. Or at least she did, when she had less freelance experience.
Someone has a question about the interview the very day it's released. Jack responds.
Jack is forensic so surely we can trust her recollection.
She indulges in a cheeky bit of suicide baiting.
And self-infantilisation. She turns 35 in a couple of months.
She does this sometimes. Here's an example from when she showed up on Tattle (aged 31).
For JM resources and information, thanks go to @Trig.Point, @sheepworldvizor, @everybody in Portugal, @Geranium, @Weeb Slinger, @Ugandan discussions, @Product Placement, @Help I'm A BritFag, @Carpe Jugulum, and, finally, the Tattle canal. Even if I do think your reasoning for dropping the word cabal is fucking retarded.
Apologies if I missed anyone!
And I'll let Jack have the final word.
(a)
Archive everything.
Meet Jack Monroe, Face of Poverty
Working class and middle class. Non-binary and a woman. Lad-loving lezza. Vegan meat-eater. Rinses her spaghetti hoops because dried pasta is a privilege.
Jack is a British writer/cook/campaigner/online person. She first came to prominence in 2012 with her Hunger Hurts (HH) blog post where she described the crushing poverty she and her young son were in. This ultimately resulted in a publishing deal, with her first book being published two years later in 2014.
She has parlayed this success into sponsorships, additional book deals, Patreon subs, a large social media following, several awards, a couple of honorary doctorates, speaking engagements and a journalism career. For any normal person, this would be considered a resounding success. But as recently as summer 2022 Jack was still pleading poverty, claiming that she had been unable to buy basic toiletries for two years and had resorted to melting bars of soap to make DIY shower gel. She also removed the lightbulbs. Again.
The Jack Monroe story is a long and winding one but the overarching theme is her inability to keep her story straight and her frequent Twitter slap fights with anyone who dares question her story. It’s for this reason I will work through this OP chronologically, using Jack’s own words to tell her story.
And don't forget:
(a)
Some Background
Jack Monroe was born Melissa Hadjicostas on 17 March 1988 to a comfortably middle class family.
Although Companies House has her birth year listed as 1978.
She’s not like those chavvy working class types. She's middle class and well educated, dahling.
But she's also a working class dropout done good.
Her Greek grandad was wealthy, being both a landlord and a restauranteur.
Her dad was in the British Army and worked (works? This is from 2012) for Essex County Fire and Rescue Service.
That MBE is for his fostering work.
He's listed here (a) on page 17:
Jack confirms their house had a roof, she went to grammar school, and the foster kids were feral.
Big Dave is also listed as a landlord on Companies House.
Not one of those capitalist landlords though! Heavens no.
She's no stranger to playing the role of poor unfortunate soul for attention.
In 2009 she dabbled in photography and then tried her hand at writing in 2011.
Daddy (probably) got her a cushy job working for the fire service. With no qualifications or experience apart from a handful of GCSEs she was making 27k per annum in her early twenties. (More on Grenfell later.)
Oh, my mistake. It was actually 40k across three jobs. Practically unheard of for an unqualified inexperienced early twenty-something.
In 2011, she jacked in her well-paying job because she had a kid now and organising childcare was too overwhelming, despite the high income and the wide support network she mentions in a Guardian article dedicated to the father of Small Boy.
Which brings us to…
The Poverty (2011-2014)
In Tattle thread Jack Monroe #97 Get in the skip (a), a poster (colouredlines) helpfully put together a timeline of Jack’s poverty arc which the wiki expands on (a) further. I used this as a jumping off point for what follows, but ours will be thoroughly archived and include screencaps.
Short aside to explain tattle.life.
Tattle.life is a primarily British gossip forum. At 50 pages (1000 posts) threads get locked and a new one is opened to continue the conversation. Jack's first thread was started in January 2020 and as of January 2023 there have been over 450 threads on her alone. As I write this, there’s drama about her latest disaster of a book and the most recent thread (#454) reached 50 pages in just 8 hours. A cursory search tells me Jack has possibly the highest number of threads on a single subject on the whole of Tattle, excluding Mrs Hinch. For some context, the first Harry and Meghan thread popped up in November 2018 (over a year before Jack's first thread) and as of me writing this paragraph in January 2023 they have just started #291.
Strap in for The Poverty.
2011
In October Jack moves into a 2-bedroom flat after ending a relationship.
November is when Jack resigns from the fire service and sells her Omega Seamaster watch.
Then in December, Jack turns off the heating.
But on the 11th, has the means to invite people around for cakes, toys and chat according to her post in a Southend family group on FB.
Also sometime towards the end of 2011 is when she changed her name to Jack Monroe and sold her watch, iPhone and TV.
2012
Jack started her blog in February 2012. There's an archive here but it's not complete because she is a compulsive deleter (deletionist?).
Jack is unable to move to a cheaper flat as she can't afford a deposit.
Jack sells her iPhone (after already selling it in 2011) for a quarter of its original price, along with a bunch of other stuff.
The crazy bitch starts taking the lightbulbs out and unplugs everything.
No fresh food for you, Small Boy.
Well maybe that was just a temporary thing she did one month when it was particularly bad?
Oh. Nevermind. (Archive) Guess we won't be seeing that fridge again until 2014.
No bread and jam for SB either.
But that's just because Jack already ate it all.
Maybe if she hadn't been wasting money on booze she could have afforded a bit extra for him. This is from an article in 2017.
The past was alterable. The past never had been altered. Jack never drank during The Poverty.
Jack also sells her Ford Kia.
Two problems:
- There's no such thing as a Ford Kia. The Ford KA was a thing until 2016 so is this just sloppy journalism or sloppy Jack?
- Why does she need a car if she can't drive?
We'll come back to the autism later.
In July we get HH,
and she sells her guitar and TV, even though she'd already sold her TV in 2011 (screencap upthread).
The next month, on August 18, Jack has her infamous yard sale, where Jack sells her TV. Again.
The piano (a gift) was also sacrificed along with two more guitars and a third iPhone.
Small Boy has to make sacrifices too.
Tattle got hold of the flyer for the sale years after the fact.
She raises enough money to move them to a house share.
Tattle tells us that the comment on this FB post the day after the sale is from Jack's mother, so her parents were aware what was happening.
Less than a month after the yard sale, still pleading poverty, Jack refers to her last Abel & Cole delivery, indicating she has a subscription to the veg box scheme (an expensive subscription service for middle class types). The orginal blog post has since been deleted (archive on Tattle).
In December, Jack and SB are surviving on just £10 per week and plan to spend Christmas with her parents.
Nonetheless, by New Years Eve, in a now deleted post, Jack is brimming with optimism for the coming year in her blog.
What a fantastic ending. Just five months after Hunger Hurts, Jack is out of debt and has a bright future ahead. What an inspirational story. Let's see what exciting adventures await Jack and SB in the Year of our Lord 2013.
2013
Jack goes on the game and turns to crime in order to survive. (a)
In February, she starts writing for the Southend Echo as reported in The Guardian.
Between her new journalist career, winning awards, and being interviewed for all sorts of media, Jack finds time in March to take part in an outside sleep event to raise awareness for homelessness.
In her blog (Sleeping Rough in a Car Park) about the event, Jack is thankful she's never been homeless.
But also, she has.
In July, she writes her first column for the Grauniad, revealing she's in a house share with five others.
Huh. Still in debt apparently. Must have misread that now deleted NYE blog post earlier.
The fridge is (allegedly) switched back on between December 2013 and July 2014.
Speaking of which, let's have a look back at a small sampling of the recipes she managed with no fridge.
Disclaimer: I've been generous here and assumed it was purely the fridge she was "missing", not the freezer, but as they generally come as an all-in-one unit (some people buy separates for extra storage), I'm still highlighting the frozen items. I've only highlighted things that would definitely go in the fridge at some point, rather than food like eggs which can be stored at room temperature. I'll even leave out veggies.
So first there's this from earlier in the thread with those famous store cupboard favourites: fromage frais and cheddar. Don't forget those carrots that she has in the…fridge?
FFS Jack.
February 2013
Wait what's that?
This isn't going well. And the ingredients?
February 2013
July 2013
July 2013
November 2013
December 2013
So first there's this from earlier in the thread with those famous store cupboard favourites: fromage frais and cheddar. Don't forget those carrots that she has in the…fridge?
FFS Jack.
February 2013
Wait what's that?
This isn't going well. And the ingredients?
February 2013
July 2013
July 2013
November 2013
December 2013
2014
Jack's January is looking pretty good.
In February her debut cookbook comes out. The one she wrote while missing a fridge.
And by May she's bagged herself a wealthy girlfriend.
Tattle ends the official Poverty there, with Jack hooking up with Allegra. But we'll see out the decade.
Post-Poverty, Pre-Pandemic (2014-2019)
2014 (cont'd)
In an interview, Jack says she came out to her readers in a blog post. Ngl I didn't know there was a hard r version of lezza.
But also she was out in school. Same article, just a few paragraphs down:
October and her second cookbook.
In November, Jack (who would never use her child for gain) tweets about then-PM David Cameron and loses a contract.
2015
The Kickstarter
After releasing two books (her debut A Girl Called Jack and another titled A Year in 120 Recipes), Jack decided it was time to start work on her third book, which she considered a direct successor to her first. Her first book had been named after her blog and now this follow up would be given the new name of her blog, Cooking on a Bootstrap.
She decided to go the Kickstarter route
and in less than 24 hours after launching had hit double the funding target.
She ended up raising nearly £70,000, with an initial goal of £8000. Very successful, by all accounts.
Anyway, the estimated delivery date was May 2016. The first copies don't get sent out until December 2017.
In March 2018 she claimed all UK copies were due to be sent out imminently.
As of 10 months ago (writing this in Jan 2023) there are still backers who never received their book.
Meanwhile it's been available on Amazon since August 2018:
2016
Vegan
New year new me. Jack goes vegan because it’s thrifty af.
'Prioritised a friendship'? That's a funny way to say 'caved immediately'.
SB has to fend for himself. She refers to him as being 8 in this 2018 blog post but he would have been maybe 6 when she first went vegan.
By 2018, Jack is still falling face first into the odd meat pie and has decided veganism is not thrifty af.
Trans Jack
May brings Jack's trans coming out (a).
So here she is around the time she claims first binder so she wouldn't have to DIY any more. This was shared on Instagram two months after the coming out article above.
And the below are after above article and well after the point where she might have had that mastectomy she keeps wanking on about.
2017
2018
2019
2021
(Archives not available because IG is being impossible.)
And the below are after above article and well after the point where she might have had that mastectomy she keeps wanking on about.
2017
2018
2019
2021
(Archives not available because IG is being impossible.)
implies men and women don't want to be treated as people,
and featuring some truly unfortunate photos.
2017
Social Anthrax
Back in May 2015, Katie Hopkins (who seems to exist entirely to rile up the leftwing press) got into a spat with Laurie Penny (another genderspecial champagne socialist keen to downplay her middle class upbringing) over some war memorial vandalism and then mixed her up with Jack Monroe. An easy mistake, to be fair.
Laurie Penny / Jack Monroe:
Katie Hopkins deleted the offending tweet then referred to Jack as social anthrax, and Jack sued her for damages and, in March 2017, won.
No I don't get it either, but here's the judgement: Monroe v Hopkins (a). The judge made some comments on Jack's Twitter useage:
Since this one success, Jack will occasionally threaten legal action.
She's yet to follow through on any threats.
In April she announced she'd been drinking 122 units of alcohol weekly.
And the Groucho (an expensive members only club) wants to know where she's been.
Also in April she reveals she has to use a walking stick due to arthritis in her legs.
Btw she gives talks like this.
She confirmed she'd be running for MP with some snark directed at Katie Hopkins for good measure.
Quits in a fortnight.
And the following month, never one to miss a tragedy, she cosplays at Grenfell and makes it all about her.
Patreon
At some point in 2017 she starts her Patreon. As of today, there is only one post on there (dated Oct 2022) apologising for the lack of content, despite what must be a healthy passive income from her army of simps.
2018
Jack admits she has a Twitter problem and says she has nine accounts on there.
In the same interview she claims she invented the word 'twunt'.
In August her Kickstarter book gets a full release. Many backers are still waiting for their copy (see upthread).
2019
Jack starts the year with another coming out. This time, she's an alcoholic.
Remember that autism thing? Well, in February she says she got diagnosed with autism just a few years ago.
By April, she was diagnosed aged 11 and her parents (her mother a nurse) who fostered children, adopted some of those fostered kids, and even won recognition for their work (her dad got an MBE for services to children) did nothing?
Bonus: compares herself to Turing.
In May it's Tin Can Cook time.
In December, Vegan(ish) is released.
And alcoholism is no more!
And in just one ye—
Uh. Well, maybe just pretend you didn't see that.
The Pandemic
2020
The
2020 rolls around and brings with it a new decade, a new pandemic and, on the very first day of the year, the first Tattle thread on Jack. They've got the measure of her from the start.
They've also got a wiki (a) for their thread subjects. Below are the current entries on Jack Monroe.
Jack Monroe 1 (a)
Jack Monroe 2 (a)
Jack Monroe 3 (a)
Jack Monroe 4 (a)
Slopalong (a) (Jack's recipes as tried by Tattlers)
Jack Memes (a)
Jack Media (a)
I'll let them explain some of their vocab:
Some common terms explained for newbies:
Canal of Hausfraus: One of Jack’s followers once referred to Tattlers as sad hausfraus and Jack herself has likened us to a cabal. Therefore we have become the Cabal of Hausfraus
(this has been amended to Canal as we understand the first term has antisemitic association). She also recently referred to us as ‘gossip mavens’ (so, we are gossip trusted experts). ** Recent additions to her terms of endearment for Tattle: conspiracy wankers, obsessive groups of completely unhinged bullies, bullying ninnies, and malign, vicious bullies **
To ‘GrunkaLunka’ or 'Grunk' your way through a thread means to catch up on posts. Named after a member who rather epically caught up on many threads in a short period of time (and is also a fearless pioneer of the space-time continuum. She really was here both Now and Then).
Triangulation
: Jack once threatened to use her Liam Neeson skills to TRIANGULATE online via IP addresses (when you see the red triangle in posts - this is what we're referring to) our whereabouts in order to intimidate us. * She may also threaten to take us to court - do not be afraid, this is not the first time and it won’t be the last. *
Georgia Church Suppers (#292 onwards) : In Spring 2022, and in an effort to show solidarity with Eastern European cookery writers, after the outbreak of the Ukraine war, Jack published a list of her favorite cookbooks from the area. Included in the list was this 'absolute banger', ostensibly from Georgia (the country), but actually from the state of Georgia USA: Georgia Church Suppers - currently only available on kindle (although at least one frau has a paperback copy
). It is fair to say that the evening of this 'error of geography because of a failure at GCSE level' as Jack is now describing it (as of September 2022), was one of the most hilarious of all these threads.
RIP Viv: Jack once sideboard modelled a Vivienne Westwood dress, seeming to infer that it’s what Viv would have wanted (this was before her actual death in December 2022), and then got snippy when corrected otherwise. There may be some ‘RIP Viv’ jokes.
Vlad: We sometimes joke about being on Vladimir Putin’s bitcoin payroll list for being evil trolls.
Horse spunk: During her stint on Daily Kitchen Live in 2020, Jack produced a godawful looking lasagne, with a thin white sauce that never thickened up, just disappeared. It was widely likened to ‘horse spunk’ - there may be some horse ‘spirit’ lasagne jokes.
Thankspaceyou: Jack is unable to spell 'thank you' correctly, and always conjoins the words when posting on Twitter. We tend to correct this when posting ourselves.
Thank you Matt: Her last-uttered line to Matt Tebutt on DKL was: ‘Thank you so Matt much, Matt’, which made us all HOOT.
Novak Nail / She's lying: *Back in the mists of time, one funny frau used a Jimmy Nail ‘She’s Lying’ picture to illustrate their thoughts on one of Jack’s latest tales. @alpha Beta thought it was Novak Djokovic, the cabal hooted and Novak Nail was born. You may see reference to Jimmy Nail, Novak Djokovic, or the combination of both: Novak Nail. All demonstrate that she’s lying.*
Canal of Hausfraus: One of Jack’s followers once referred to Tattlers as sad hausfraus and Jack herself has likened us to a cabal. Therefore we have become the Cabal of Hausfraus
(this has been amended to Canal as we understand the first term has antisemitic association). She also recently referred to us as ‘gossip mavens’ (so, we are gossip trusted experts). ** Recent additions to her terms of endearment for Tattle: conspiracy wankers, obsessive groups of completely unhinged bullies, bullying ninnies, and malign, vicious bullies **To ‘GrunkaLunka’ or 'Grunk' your way through a thread means to catch up on posts. Named after a member who rather epically caught up on many threads in a short period of time (and is also a fearless pioneer of the space-time continuum. She really was here both Now and Then).
Triangulation
: Jack once threatened to use her Liam Neeson skills to TRIANGULATE online via IP addresses (when you see the red triangle in posts - this is what we're referring to) our whereabouts in order to intimidate us. * She may also threaten to take us to court - do not be afraid, this is not the first time and it won’t be the last. *Georgia Church Suppers (#292 onwards) : In Spring 2022, and in an effort to show solidarity with Eastern European cookery writers, after the outbreak of the Ukraine war, Jack published a list of her favorite cookbooks from the area. Included in the list was this 'absolute banger', ostensibly from Georgia (the country), but actually from the state of Georgia USA: Georgia Church Suppers - currently only available on kindle (although at least one frau has a paperback copy
). It is fair to say that the evening of this 'error of geography because of a failure at GCSE level' as Jack is now describing it (as of September 2022), was one of the most hilarious of all these threads.RIP Viv: Jack once sideboard modelled a Vivienne Westwood dress, seeming to infer that it’s what Viv would have wanted (this was before her actual death in December 2022), and then got snippy when corrected otherwise. There may be some ‘RIP Viv’ jokes.
Vlad: We sometimes joke about being on Vladimir Putin’s bitcoin payroll list for being evil trolls.
Horse spunk: During her stint on Daily Kitchen Live in 2020, Jack produced a godawful looking lasagne, with a thin white sauce that never thickened up, just disappeared. It was widely likened to ‘horse spunk’ - there may be some horse ‘spirit’ lasagne jokes.
Thankspaceyou: Jack is unable to spell 'thank you' correctly, and always conjoins the words when posting on Twitter. We tend to correct this when posting ourselves.
Thank you Matt: Her last-uttered line to Matt Tebutt on DKL was: ‘Thank you so Matt much, Matt’, which made us all HOOT.
Novak Nail / She's lying: *Back in the mists of time, one funny frau used a Jimmy Nail ‘She’s Lying’ picture to illustrate their thoughts on one of Jack’s latest tales. @alpha Beta thought it was Novak Djokovic, the cabal hooted and Novak Nail was born. You may see reference to Jimmy Nail, Novak Djokovic, or the combination of both: Novak Nail. All demonstrate that she’s lying.*
THAT MAN and Daily Kitchen
March rolls around, and lockdown with it. THAT MAN (Jamie Oliver) is commissioned to do a cooking show for Channel 4 and Jack has an absolute shit fit about it on Twitter.
Nigella joins in, and Jack leaps to her defence when the hypocrisy is pointed out.
She ends up getting her own cooking show on BBC as a result.
Despite that fact that she was claiming she couldn't leave the house before all the above.
The entire debacle is summed up in this article.
In May there's a new book out.
On the same day it's released she makes a startling claim.
Jack on Tattle
In June, Jack shows up on Tattle (#31), coming straight in with claims of libel and defamation.
Daily Kitchen Lives gave her sads.
She reiterates her l33t triangulation abilities.
And repeats her autism was diagnosed when she was 11 and that her fostering, adopting, award-winning-for-services-to-children parents neglected to act on that information.
Kitten
A few days later, Jack gets a kitten. The situation is short-lived. Jack prioritises trying to prove 3 vets and the haterz wrong and an innocent being needlessly suffers as a result. I'm putting it behind a spoiler because it's quite upsetting.
Credit to colouredlines (a) on Tattle for putting this kitten timeline together. (colouredlines also put together the first poverty timeline that I used as my base for this OP.)
June 25 (the day after the Tattle posts).
June 30 she adopts the kitten.
July 1 she's online asking about vets and getting overly defensive as per in response to entirely reasonable questions.
July 7 she says the vet visit went well.
July 9 another positive vet visit.
July 9 (same day) suddenly not so positive.
No date/time stamp on these but she was evidently leaving a visibly sick kitty in the bathroom alone at night.
July 13, less than two weeks after being adopted by Jack, the kitten dies.
June 25 (the day after the Tattle posts).
June 30 she adopts the kitten.
July 1 she's online asking about vets and getting overly defensive as per in response to entirely reasonable questions.
July 7 she says the vet visit went well.
July 9 another positive vet visit.
July 9 (same day) suddenly not so positive.
No date/time stamp on these but she was evidently leaving a visibly sick kitty in the bathroom alone at night.
July 13, less than two weeks after being adopted by Jack, the kitten dies.
COVID
At the end of 2020 she has COVID and posts this misleading-at-best, cancer-cosplay-at-worst photo on Twitter.
An hour later she goes for a walk and mistakes a glove for a dead pigeon.
2021
As far as I can tell, apart from this tweet that she deleted soon after posting,
2021 seemed relatively quiet by Jack standards.
Recent events (January 2022-now)
2022
Vintage Cutlery
In January Jack Monroe splashed the cash on some vintage cutlery, got some 'freebies', and couldn’t resist showing it off on Twitter.
The same day, someone on Tattle finds the listing (eBay link unfortunately not archived), revealing she knowingly paid for at least 7 sets and spent at least £105.
Vimes Boots Index
Just a few days later, Jack claims rice prices are up 344%.
Just don't look at the replies.
Jack declares she’s setting up her own price index to track all these complicated numbers.
Telegraph
She gets approval to use the name from Pratchett's estate and Pratchett’s daughter (not so surprising given his daughter simps for the twans).
Her records are forensic.
She wants YOU to send her your receipts.
The following month she was sobbing in Asda.
Not for the first time. It started back in the old money days, before she was born (or not, if that Companies House birth year is the correct one).
In May, the stats prove Jack wrong.
But forensic autist Jack doesn't concern herself with mere details.
One year later, there have been no further developments on the much vaunted VBI.
Harold
It's March and Jack is loved up. Her new love avoids social media and she's secretive about his identity, right down to his sex (got to hold on to that raging lesbian cred). He works 'part-time in a little shop' (this will come up again later). She refers to him as OH, or 'other half'. Tattle starting calling him Old Harold (as in Hide the Pain Harold) instead.
She met his family over Easter and started referring to his parents as her in-laws. Also she made this cake for them (Tattle).
In June they went to Dordrecht for what Jack called a romantic holiday. Tattle suspects Jack was just tagging along on his business trip. Less than a week later he breaks up with her. Unfortunately, Jack seems to have deleted a lot of her Twitter output about this, but there's a history in tweets on Tattle (a).
Another lawsuit?
In May, Lee Anderson, Tory MP, says our smol pixie is making bank off the proles.
Guardian
Oopsy doodle.
Months later.
But she took donations for the case.
Even though
Tinder
Two weeks after Harold leaves, Jack joins Tinder. We know this because she shared her profile with her half a million Twitter followers.
Btw you see that University of Essex bit? She has an honorary degree from there, not a real one. She also has one from Coventry.
According to Tattle (a):
HH2
It's the height of summer and Jack reveals some troubling insight into her life with her latest blog post The Curse of the Poverty Hangover, Ten Years On. It all seems so familiar, but with a little extra thrown in.
Two years of not being able to afford basic toiletries? Here's what she was up to in the months leading up to HH2:
December 2021 she's looking at houses.
The original listing has gone, but AwfullyMolly said it was £1.5m which seems reasonable given the photos we can see.
Bit of bantz with Irvine Welsh. 2% of £1.5 million = £30,000.
Splashing out on cosmetics and hair shit.
In January 2022 she bought the vintage cutlery (upthread).
And in April 2022.
May 2022 trip to Venice.
Paid for by Harold? The same Harold who works part-time in a little shop?
June 2022.
That little shop must be raking it in.
Returns with lots of kitchen utensils for all the food she says she can't buy.
Oh and she got a puppy.
It's not like pets cost money or anything.
HH2
The original listing has gone, but AwfullyMolly said it was £1.5m which seems reasonable given the photos we can see.
Bit of bantz with Irvine Welsh. 2% of £1.5 million = £30,000.
Splashing out on cosmetics and hair shit.
In January 2022 she bought the vintage cutlery (upthread).
And in April 2022.
May 2022 trip to Venice.
Paid for by Harold? The same Harold who works part-time in a little shop?
June 2022.
That little shop must be raking it in.
Returns with lots of kitchen utensils for all the food she says she can't buy.
Oh and she got a puppy.
It's not like pets cost money or anything.
HH2
With a decade of contradicting receipts, people have started looking into Jack's story.
Blocked and Reported
Jack Monroe: Saint or Scammer? (This is an archive of the original, she's since posted more here.)
Jack Monroe: An Investigation (a)
Pasta
In August, someone tweeted about a JM recipe that called for rinsing the sauce off canned spaghetti hoops, and Jack responded that dried pasta is a privilege not available to the poors.
Burger Boy
She has a date with Burger Boy, so-called (by Jack) because he took her out for burgers before the following happened.
A few hours later she was sobbing on Radio 4.
Potatoes (dire)
In September, Jack shared some potatoes.
The reviews are less than favourable.
Plays the oppressed card.
The oppressed are unimpressed.
Tweet
Tweet
Then this.
Was it the roasties wot did it?
Time to flounce.
Even though she has no problem passing judgement on others.
Some are suspicious all may not be how it appears.
Tweet
Tweet
Tweet
Don't worry, she just loves a good flounce. Here's one example from 2018.
Even Jack's own people are pissed off with her.
Patreon redux
At the end of the year, after years of their complaints, Jack finally deals with those pesky Patreon supporters, including the overseas ones.
Correction: Except the overseas ones.
2023
Latest book comes out.
The publisher immediately releases a day 1 patch.
After the release, Blocked and Reported ended up revisiting the topic of Jack.
And shortly after the book release, up pops a Guardian interview.
Before rehab in 2021 she was slamming the liquor and opiates.
She's for real and for true working class.
Bit of a far cry from how she previously described her childhood summers.
Tattle have been collecting records on her expensive furniture (and numerous other things) for a while.
But guise she was just doing a chaos!
She struggles because she's freelance.
But she knows how to manage her money. Or at least she did, when she had less freelance experience.
Someone has a question about the interview the very day it's released. Jack responds.
Jack is forensic so surely we can trust her recollection.
She indulges in a cheeky bit of suicide baiting.
And self-infantilisation. She turns 35 in a couple of months.
She does this sometimes. Here's an example from when she showed up on Tattle (aged 31).
For JM resources and information, thanks go to @Trig.Point, @sheepworldvizor, @everybody in Portugal, @Geranium, @Weeb Slinger, @Ugandan discussions, @Product Placement, @Help I'm A BritFag, @Carpe Jugulum, and, finally, the Tattle canal. Even if I do think your reasoning for dropping the word cabal is fucking retarded.
Apologies if I missed anyone!
And I'll let Jack have the final word.
(a)
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Monroe’s viral blogpost describing her poverty
She's prime lolcow material, great shout.
2023 highlights - IN PROGRESS