💀 Horrorcow Nicholas Robert Rekieta / Rekieta "Law" / Actually Criminal / @NickRekieta / "u/Early-Leopard-8351" - Polysubstance abuser, child doser, dog killer. "Lawtube pope" turned zesty Dabbleverse Redditor streamer. Swinger "whitebread ass nigga" who snuffs animals and visits 🇯🇲 BBC resorts. Legally a cuckold. Still not over his ex Aaron. Wife's bod worth $50.

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Luna's expiration date is?

  • <1 year

    Votes: 158 22.6%

  • Around 2 years

    Votes: 278 39.8%

  • 3-5 years

    Votes: 94 13.4%

  • As long as a pug lives, Karen farmer.

    Votes: 169 24.2%
  • Total voters
    699
Midnight Energy Drink said:
So after this Minneapolis riots 2.0 I need to stream the ICE agent trial... then just some other famous actor has to have a crazy court case against his wife... and I'm back where I was before the arrest
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Winners win, and Nick is winning.
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elb said:
I'm working on this clip now and imo it might be his worst legal analysis to date
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I feel like we're watching his mental faculties break down in real time. His brain function is apparently getting even worse.

More than other celebrities or even people around my own life, Nick personifies the "don't do drugs" message more than anyone I know.
 
Himedall All-seeing Waifu said:
This is the kind of naive business plan I would unironically expect him to come up with. 'Go viral', is not a valid milestone target.


In othet news, I happen to have hours of extar time sat in one place, so I skimmed Nick's last member stream:

- Nick found a case of a fat lawyer that intimidated his mistress and spread revenge porn. He made many vibes at Kurt and Sean, and struggled for minutes while live to see if documents were available on PACER. He eventually gave up.

- Nick mocked Kurt's appearance, clothing, and diet plan while saying he was genuinely happy for him to reach his 1000 pound combined lifting goal

- He spent a while watching Kurt's reaction to Lead Attorney's reaction to a traffic stop of an annoying and disrespectful black woman. Many times he paused to belittle Kurt's analysis as 'bootlicking' and make fun of the policeman. He also made several weasel word justifications and hypothetical arguments he would make in court beciase things were 'unwise' but not 'illegal'.

The most ludicrous was that when the woman exited her car after being told she was free to go and threatened to shoot the policeman it was 'illegal' and not necessarily a terroristic threat because the officer antagonists her first. When the officer threatened to arrest her if she did not go back into her vehicle, that was a terroristic threat because it was an illegal arrest with no basis. It was stupid, 'I will shoot your ass' means I will literally shoot you IN the arse.

I will try to clip this later.

ETA: OMG! He said 'no probable cause'! LMAO!

ETA 2: He looked upt he statute and the new cope is 'well, it is only a misdemeanor and not a felony'.
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Perhaps I'm stating the obvious, but his "analysis" comes across more as how he'd personally try to weasel his way out of that situation, considering that Balldo has had his share of traffic stops which have likely spawned a few outbursts or retarded comments, given his demeanor in the documents we've been able to see. He probably has little difficulty in seeing himself in this scenario, and will naturally try to argue in defense of behavior he's likely to display.

Of course it is going to be awful - he's arguing for the side he wants to win, not the side that's actually likely to win based on the apparent facts.
 
Himedall All-seeing Waifu said:
This is the kind of naive business plan I would unironically expect him to come up with. 'Go viral', is not a valid milestone target.


In othet news, I happen to have hours of extar time sat in one place, so I skimmed Nick's last member stream:

- Nick found a case of a fat lawyer that intimidated his mistress and spread revenge porn. He made many vibes at Kurt and Sean, and struggled for minutes while live to see if documents were available on PACER. He eventually gave up.

- Nick mocked Kurt's appearance, clothing, and diet plan while saying he was genuinely happy for him to reach his 1000 pound combined lifting goal

- He spent a while watching Kurt's reaction to Lead Attorney's reaction to a traffic stop of an annoying and disrespectful black woman. Many times he paused to belittle Kurt's analysis as 'bootlicking' and make fun of the policeman. He also made several weasel word justifications and hypothetical arguments he would make in court beciase things were 'unwise' but not 'illegal'.

The most ludicrous was that when the woman exited her car after being told she was free to go and threatened to shoot the policeman it was 'illegal' and not necessarily a terroristic threat because the officer antagonists her first. When the officer threatened to arrest her if she did not go back into her vehicle, that was a terroristic threat because it was an illegal arrest with no basis. It was stupid, 'I will shoot your ass' means I will literally shoot you IN the arse.

I will try to clip this later.

ETA: OMG! He said 'no probable cause'! LMAO!

ETA 2: He looked upt he statute and the new cope is 'well, it is only a misdemeanor and not a felony'.
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He should just rename his channel Contrarian Law or Practicing Dissonance.
 
Friend of Dorothy Parker said:
Absolutely astounding he - a "media" guy- couldn't be arsed to head to downtown Minneapolis for any of the last THREE days of ICE and protest activity. It's right there in his backyard.
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You need an oldschool professional for that sort of thing.
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Himedall All-seeing Waifu said:
- Nick mocked Kurt's appearance, clothing, and diet plan while saying he was genuinely happy for him to reach his 1000 pound combined lifting goal
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Superior fat man strength. Kurt keeps winning, Nick keeps seethe-laughing.
 
Spongebuck Breakerpants said:
Perhaps I'm stating the obvious, but his "analysis" comes across more as how he'd personally try to weasel his way out of that situation, considering that Balldo has had his share of traffic stops which have likely spawned a few outbursts or retarded comments, given his demeanor in the documents we've been able to see. He probably has little difficulty in seeing himself in this scenario, and will naturally try to argue in defense of behavior he's likely to display.

Of course it is going to be awful - he's arguing for the side he wants to win, not the side that's actually likely to win based on the apparent facts.
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He reminds me of this family guy cutaway but for legal analysis:
 
daffodils said:
Superior fat man strength. Kurt keeps winning, Nick keeps seethe-laughing.
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Kurt's out there doing it, putting in the time and the labor, building the sweat equity of his future, and unafraid to put his fat body out there on video to document his progress. It's a form of willful self-accountability, something absent from Nick Rekieta.

Nick is out there calling himself mildly pretty doing nothing and getting greasier and gaining the sort of thin-flabbiness you see in movie starlets who are thin but have no muscle tone. But he still wants praise for it. And under the skin his organs are compromised with vitamin deficiencies and who knows what manner of permanent damage.

Who's going to live longer?

"Why, you are the hardy stock that is the core of Britain's greatness.
You have a demi-god's physique — purple of cheek, plump of fetlock.
The well-filled trouser that tells of a human body in perfect order!"
Hugh-Laurie-as-Prince-George-in-Blackadder.webp
"He's dead, sir."
 
Soapmore said:
Kurt's out there doing it, putting in the time and the labor, building the sweat equity of his future, and unafraid to put his fat body out there on video to document his progress. It's a form of willful self-accountability, something absent from Nick Rekieta.

Nick is out there calling himself mildly pretty doing nothing and getting greasier and gaining the sort of thin-flabbiness you see in movie starlets who are thin but have no muscle tone. But he still wants praise for it. And under the skin his organs are compromised with vitamin deficiencies and who knows what manner of permanent damage.

Who's going to live longer?

"Why, you are the hardy stock that is the core of Britain's greatness.
You have a demi-god's physique — purple of cheek, plump of fetlock.
The well-filled trouser that tells of a human body in perfect order!"
View attachment 8410374
"He's dead, sir."
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You know Nick is really bothered when he seethe that 'Well, *I* would not do it, BUT I am happy for THEM...' This passive- aggressive attitude and soft negging is what makes him so insufferable. It gives him just enough deniability that someone might think twice about taking offense once, but the pattern of behavioir confirms his true feelings. (See: 'I hope they make a million dollars')

When confronted, this big-brain tries to argue why you did not call him out for it the last 3 times he said the exact same thing and narrow the co text to what specific thing made you get offended this time. He tries to trim away all external context to reduce the basis of judgement to an infintesimal amount of time or single occurrence when it is the gestalt of disgust that led people to figure his game.
 
Pentamidine said:
I wondered if Nick is just delaying things until the TRO will have been in effect as long as an HRO would have been if granted - at which point the hearing would be moot and Nick could claim he won. It sounds stupid but this is Nick we're talking about, he 100% would do something like that just so he could say "ACHKTUALLY the issue was never heard on the merits and got dismissed due to being moot!"
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It would be an argument he can make ("look Judge, we've already been under it for a year already"), but the problem is going to be all these allegations about violating it. If he had kept his trap shut for the whole time, he might have a compelling argument

It doesn't just poof into thin air after a set time frame
 
Third World Aristocrat said:
View attachment 8408368View attachment 8408369
His recent thumbnails are terrible, and it's quite apparent that whoever is making them has no clue what they're doing. What I find particularly amusing is the color scheme: he's using green, red, and yellow as accent elements throughout his thumbnails. Green logo, red title, yellow subtitle. Anyone with basic design knowledge knows you need a base color, an accent, and a complement—not three competing accents. But of course, these aren't random choices. They're the exact accent colors from that Jamaican shirt he's so obsessed with—the same one he was wearing when he got arrested.
View attachment 8408363View attachment 8408361

He still dreams about those Jamaican bulls.
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And yet he's always in blue-tinted glasses and then black or burgundy usually for clothes. He's just a hot tasteless mess, basically.

dustnight said:
There is no law enforcement in Minneapolis.
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You know, maybe Nick's presence could give ICE and the protestors something to hate more thaneach other. I'd be willing to sacrifice him for the cause.
 
Potentially Criminal said:
It would be an argument he can make ("look Judge, we've already been under it for a year already"), but the problem is going to be all these allegations about violating it. If he had kept his trap shut for the whole time, he might have a compelling argument

It doesn't just poof into thin air after a set time frame
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Nick & Mapton aren't fighting the HRO anymore. They both just bent over and accepted it dry and raw
 
Soapmore said:
Kurt's out there doing it, putting in the time and the labor, building the sweat equity of his future, and unafraid to put his fat body out there on video to document his progress. It's a form of willful self-accountability, something absent from Nick Rekieta.

Nick is out there calling himself mildly pretty doing nothing and getting greasier and gaining the sort of thin-flabbiness you see in movie starlets who are thin but have no muscle tone. But he still wants praise for it. And under the skin his organs are compromised with vitamin deficiencies and who knows what manner of permanent damage.

Who's going to live longer?

"Why, you are the hardy stock that is the core of Britain's greatness.
You have a demi-god's physique — purple of cheek, plump of fetlock.
The well-filled trouser that tells of a human body in perfect order!"
View attachment 8410374
"He's dead, sir."
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Kurt could easily kick Nick's ass
 
Intrepid reporter Aaron Imholte of the Steel Toe Morning show is reporting live from St Cloud, where some ICE protests are flaring up today.


A Minnesota Scandinavian boomer lady is interviewed and uses the phrase “Sonofagun”, love it.
 
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Potentially Criminal said:
It would be an argument he can make ("look Judge, we've already been under it for a year already"), but the problem is going to be all these allegations about violating it. If he had kept his trap shut for the whole time, he might have a compelling argument
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Do you think that the duration of the HRO starts when it is granted, rather than when the case is filed? The latter would seem to reward dilatory and evasive conduct like Nick's.
 
RaptInPlastic said:
Your boy didn't do too badly, did he?
In all seriousness it was pretty normal. The opposite of Rekieta.
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Pretty good numbers for Aaron, given it was a mostly unannounced stream in the middle of the day. Shame that St. Cloud is probably too tame and too red to sustain a full day of streaming on it, Aaron could have met the goal.
 
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