The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch / @TenaciousRanch / Steampunk Penny / Penellope Logue / Phillip Matthew Logue - Don't cry because it ended, laugh because it's still getting worse.

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Who are the top three strongest characters in the Kevin Gibes Inflated Universe (KGIU) canon?

  • Gash Coyote

    Votes: 103 4.5%

  • Rioley

    Votes: 279 12.1%

  • Penis

    Votes: 417 18.1%

  • Loathsome Dung Eater Jen

    Votes: 300 13.0%

  • Boner

    Votes: 300 13.0%

  • Kevin Gibes

    Votes: 684 29.7%

  • The Elusive Earl

    Votes: 716 31.0%

  • Landon Hiscock

    Votes: 266 11.5%

  • The Korps LARP Brigade

    Votes: 205 8.9%

  • Kiwifarms Militia

    Votes: 1,149 49.8%

  • Kindness

    Votes: 669 29.0%

  • Trans Cucumber The Child Abandoner

    Votes: 313 13.6%
  • Total voters
    2,306
Nobody should post pictures of their food. Movies and commercials have people whose job description is "making food look nice on camera." If you're not one of them, it's going to look like slop even if it's decent.
 
Featured on Feb 13, 2023 by Pineapple Fox: The Tranch exodus has begun, and only an estimated 10 alpacas are confirmed to have survived the journey.
The Tranchers are still silent on social media.
Jen has resumed the Patreon updates; I assume he was just stressed or busy with the move previously. If - like me - you've ever been curious about what kind of content they put behind the Patreon paywall (but don't want to pay the Tranchers to find out), then feast your eyes:
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In this update post, you can see the youtube links which lead to unlisted videos on the Tranch's youtube channel.
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When I checked them out, there were no views and no comments on either video, despite the videos being posted two days ago. This tells me that the Tranch's Patrons don't really care about the Tranch's content... they probably just donate as a vague show of support and otherwise don't pay any attention. I also wouldn't be surprised if many of the donations are just recurring payments that have been forgotten about. It would explain why the Tranch Patreon hasn't really taken a hit despite the drama with Paul.

Here are the videos:


It's just Penny and another troon (Kevin?) feeding the animals, same as always... riveting content. 🙄

What's interesting though is that they've clearly RELOCATED TO PENNY'S PARENTS' HOUSE!
And they're still being idiots, too. I count ~3 goats and 8-10 alpacas in these videos. That's still too many for a 5-acre plot! If they were going to keep any alpacas at all, they should've only kept 2-3. At least I don't see any sheep, thankfully. No Pepe the Vicuna either.

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Chicken Gendies said:
If I remember correctly; keeping alpaca with goats was a no-no too.
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Yep. Someone posted a video a couple months ago about common mistakes new alpaca owners make, and keeping alpacas & goats together was one of them. Unlike llamas, alpacas apparently aren't very good at defending themselves, so they can easily get injured by aggressive goats.

Funnily... or I guess not so funnily, you can see a goat headbutting an alpaca in one of the videos above. Clip:
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Unrelated, but since I posted it in the Kevin thread, I might as well post it here. Kevin complaining about the animals being impatient and then shoving a goat:

His voice/tone is so annoying, lol. Sounds like a whiny little kid.
 
Temperance XIV said:
His voice/tone is so annoying, lol. Sounds like a whiny little kid.
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That is one of my “triggers”, I admit that it is unfair and incredibly rude of me, but I really find it hard to take someone seriously if they have a dreadful voice.

By dreadful I mean inappropriately high pitched, whiney and nasally.

E.g. I found both Eminem and Aaron Paul, early in their careers, unbearable.
Patty Mayo too. Horrid little bastard.

Joe Exotic, he is just that “oh no” character from family guy in real life.

Sorry but if you are cursed with such a voice, get on the cigars, whisky and hire Tom Waits to give you elocution lessons.

That said, I would love to hear a Tom Waits album about him living on the tranch for a period.
Penny would find himself buying Bushmills daily instead of weekly.

Edit:

This would be the opening track.
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Tom Waits: On the Nickel

"On the Nickel" by Tom Waits, with pictures of him, the Nickel and random people, with lyrics:Sticks and stones will break my bonesbut I always will be truea...
youtu.be youtu.be
 
Temperance XIV said:
Yep. Someone posted a video a couple months ago about common mistakes new alpaca owners make, and keeping alpacas & goats together was one of them. Unlike llamas, alpacas apparently aren't very good at defending themselves, so they can easily get injured by aggressive goats.

Funnily... or I guess not so funnily, you can see a goat headbutting an alpaca in one of the videos above. Clip:
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God bless you for noticing that transphobic goat. I know I shouldn't find this hilarious, but I do. :story:
 
bippu_as_fuck_ls400 said:
GDC ID: 1000768589

The name change must have been approved at some point because they are listed as Christina in the system and inmates are always listed by their legal name with any aliases listed separately.
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Just an update on this side character. He is a child trafficker currently in prison who was briefly (and illegally) communicating via Twitter to the Tranch. He was reported to the correctional institution and rapidly disappeared.

He has a new picture, that's about the only update.
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He has aged poorly and now has the patented troon eighthead. He still has his disgusting smirk you want to smack off his ugly assface.

Release date is still latest 3/2/2025.

NAME: LYNCH, CHRISTINA ALICIA​

GDC ID: 1000768589​

1000768589.jpg

PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION​

YOB: 1990
RACE: WHITE
GENDER: MALE
HEIGHT: 5'09''
WEIGHT: 215
EYE COLOR: BROWN
HAIR COLOR: BROWN

SCARS, MARKS, TATTOOS​



INCARCERATION DETAILS​

MAJOR OFFENSE: ATMPT ARMED ROBBERY
MOST RECENT INSTITUTION: CENTRAL STATE PRISON
MAX POSSIBLE RELEASE DATE: 03/02/2025

Important Release Information
The Actual Release Date may occur prior to the Max Possible Release Date due to the offender receiving clemency by the State Board of Pardons and Paroles.
The Max Possible Release Date is the expiration date of the longest running sentence with credit for time served in a county jail prior to conviction and sentencing. FOR EXAMPLE, if a person is arrested on January 1, 2001 and remains in a county jail until he is sentenced to a term of two years confinement in the custody of the Georgia Department of Corrections on April 1, 2001, then:
  • His Sentence Begin Date is April 1, 2001
  • His Sentence End Date is March 31, 2003.
  • His Max Possible Release Date will be December 31, 2002, giving him credit for time served in jail from the date of his arrest to the date of his sentencing.
For parole information please go to Georgia State Board of Pardons and Paroles website.

ACTUAL RELEASE DATE:CURRENTLY SERVING
CURRENT STATUS:ACTIVE


KNOWN ALIASES​

A.K.A. LYNCH,CHRISTINA ALICIA
A.K.A. LYNCH,CHRISTOPHER A
A.K.A. LYNCH,CHRISTOPHER ANDREW
A.K.A. LYNCH,TASHA
A.K.A. ROMANOVICH,PASHA
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FinnSven said:
That said, I would love to hear a Tom Waits album about him living on the tranch for a period.
Penny would find himself buying Bushmills daily instead of weekly.

Edit:

This would be the opening track.
youtu.be

Tom Waits: On the Nickel

"On the Nickel" by Tom Waits, with pictures of him, the Nickel and random people, with lyrics:Sticks and stones will break my bonesbut I always will be truea...
youtu.be youtu.be
Click to expand...
There was a murder in the tarp barn, a murder in the tarp barn

The fence is falling over and the sheep are lying down
The drones are flying over, you can hear the fascists’ hounds

The watchman said to Penny the troon
Was it Fat Paul Mendoza, was it Blind Kindness too?

Pin it on a fieldhand, then burn another bridge
And don’t you fucking touch the jug of koolaid in the fridge

There was a murder in the tarp barn, murder in the tarp barn…
 
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I'm wondering if those goats don't actually belong to Phil's mom. The concrete culvert with the chain ladder, and the upright post with the pvc loops hanging off it, both look like the sort of thing I've seen people build for their goats to play on. They look to have been there for quite a while.

If so, this would mean that the tranchers have brought their alpaca stock to an existing herd of goats and invaded it, just like troons invading womens' bathrooms.

It would also mean that the tranchers still haven't learned one damned thing about responsible animal husbandry*, and just decided on a whim "Oh, the goats will get along fine with the 'pacas. Give 'em a day or so and they'll be like sisters!"

*No, I'm not autistic nor optimistic enough to believe that they ever will learn one damned thing. About anything.
 
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