09/23/2015 - CRUCIAL DANGER! Phil Threatens Suicide

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What Kim Jong-Un is doing to North Korea is potatoes to Phil's contributions to the West Coast
 
Kiwis are Phil's only friends these days.


Sad enough to make you want to kill yourself right Phil?


Is anyone keeping a running tab of the things that make him want to kill himself?
 
Phil needs a hobby (besides obsessively cruising the Kiwi Farms to go into an hourly frothing rage), something to occupy his time and energy. Something constructive like mainlining heroic doses of heroin with dirty needles. No, wait, not heroin. He should take up Krokodil. Yes, Philthy Phil should take up mainlining Krokodil with used needles. Its the perfect hobby for the homely hobo on the go-go!
 
FatNero said:
Kiwis are Phil's only friends these days.


Sad enough to make you want to kill yourself right Phil?


Is anyone keeping a running tab of the things that make him want to kill himself?
Click to expand...

Short answer: everything.
 
If one of us actually goads Phil into doing it will they get trophy points? Maybe a banner?
 
SkeletonBias420 said:
If one of us actually goads Phil into doing it will they get trophy points? Maybe a banner?
Click to expand...

I think if you get quoted in the final facebook note by name, you should get a title.

Seems fair.



Course Phil will never die, im starting to suspect he's actually going through with it every time and his diseased body turns out to mostly be a collection of sentient viruses and bacteria that stitches him back together.
 
He's probably in a psychiatric ward on a 72 hour hold after running crying to the hospital about evil Kiwis laughing at him.
 
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