The quarterfinals are over, and we're down to the final four. This is where it gets real, yinz guys.
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What's everyone's
least favorite part of NBC's Olympics coverage? Why, the athlete profiles, of course! So as we advance to the semifinal round, let's take this opportunity to meet our stunning, brave contestants.
HH: Arms Crossed vs. Horrifying Titty Creature
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Arms Crossed will forever hold a special place in the hearts of longtime Lou watchers, because she was the profile picture he was using at the moment that this thread was created on February 17, 2020. At first glance, Arms Crossed shouldn't be in the running for the title, as she is reasonably well drawn with realistic proportions, and competently colored (i.e., not by Lou). Go a little deeper, though, and you begin to see how she was truly a harbinger of things to come. The biggest problem is that her lines are very thin, which means that at the size of a Twitter profile picture they disappear entirely, the tan head and arms blending together into a single mass that resembles a ballsack. Lou used a ballsack as his profile picture.
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Horrifying Titty Creature , in use from February 24 to 25, 2020, defies description. We must first address the face, with its beady, menacing eyes and visible sharp teeth. If that's intended to be a smile, it's not working. This is the face of a predator that has spotted its next meal. Obviously the breasts are next, massive fetishized spheres of near-blinding whiteness that rival any kink Kevin Gibes has ever come up with. The cleavage is obscured by what appears to be a tuft of fur; whether this itself is a kink is not clear. Gentle reader, I wish I could tell you it doesn't get worse from here, but in good conscience I cannot. The arms taper off into... what? Thalidomide flippers? Maybe there are no arms. All I know is that there's no reasonable way we shouldn't be seeing more of those arms. Lastly, and this is something that can be easily overlooked, there's that heavy black horizontal line at the bottom. Why is it there? Is this a sculpted bust? Why is it like this? Why is any of this like this? This is one of the worst things I've ever seen, and I apologize for making you look at it.
II: Gneech III vs. Man in a Dress
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Used from September 17 to 18, 2020 and again on January 27, 2021,
Gneech III is a crop from
this picture, which Lou got as a reward for subscribing to Gneech's Patreon, #TransCrowdFund #DisabilityCrowdFund. Naturally, it's a self-insert starring Lou as a tall sexy tiger cavorting with Charity Cheeger and Roxie Fox
(I hate myself for looking this up), two characters from Gneech's
Suburban Jungle: Rough Housing comic, as they presumably have various Melrose Place-style adventures that would never, ever happen to Lou in real life. In a way, the profligacy and adolescent wish fulfillment demonstrated here are a particularly appropriate representation of Lou.
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Man in a Dress, in use from February 13 to 14, 2021, was one of the earliest manifestation of Lou's brilliant idea of using the trans flag colors for his fursonas, leading to a string of blue tigers and cougars with pink hair that lasted into late May. Of these, Man in a Dress is actually rather refreshing for its honesty. He is, quite clearly, a man in a dress: even as an anthropomorphized cat, his massive shoulders and thick neck make his masculine nature obvious for anyone to see. Maybe
this, rather than Gneech III, is actually the perfect representation of Lou--except, of course, for the fact that Lou doesn't even bother to dress like a woman.
Get yer votes in. You know the drill.
