🍗 Deathfat Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

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How much does Ryann weigh?

  • 300-350lbs (Panda Bear)

    Votes: 27 1.0%

  • 350-400lbs (Bull Caribou)

    Votes: 147 5.3%

  • 400-450lbs (Heart of a Blue Whale)

    Votes: 382 13.8%

  • 450-500lbs (Pigmy Hippo)

    Votes: 555 20.1%

  • 500-550lbs (Domestic Pig)

    Votes: 425 15.4%

  • 550-600lbs (Baby Grand Piano)

    Votes: 329 11.9%

  • 600-650lbs (Vending Machine)

    Votes: 205 7.4%

  • 650+ (A Fucking Planet)

    Votes: 696 25.2%
  • Total voters
    2,766
Holy shit, she's really taking being a white trash ho to the next level. Her fans must be fucking braindead, if they still believe her shit. Evwn people like Jeffree Star who flex their new car are being trashy AF when they do it, but at least Jeffree is open about being a trashy bitch.

Oh, and remember how she bought her dream car last time just a few months ago? I think she either crashed it or it broke due to her weight. Or is it the same fucking car?
 
We saw the keys to her last car and it looked like a rental. Before that she had a Yaris, which would have worked for a single mother who mostly travels with one child. My guess is that her massive bulk destroyed the Yaris (or she whined to her sugar daddy that she just couldn’t drive the Yaris anymore), she was driving a rental for a couple months, and then got her Jeep. Her joyride with her rental was going to the Madonna Inn. I’m sure she will put her new Jeep to the test by going there soon.

Little Dark Age said:
It's also not a dream car because I'm sure that even with unlimited funds, Tess could not FIT into her dream car. Consideration for space and suspension etc must narrow things down quite a bit before we even get into cost. Imagine being so fat that you have to worry about a friend or date pulling up in a sports car, lol. Even very tall people can uncomfortably origami their ass into a Karmann Ghia. Tess couldn't wedge herself in with grease and a crowbar.



This is the well-adjusted cow that we should all be very nice to so she'll give us good solid intel lolol. Everybody fold their hands and smile while she passes out nothingburgers and tells us about how anyone who questions prostitution is objectively wrong /sneed
For a moment I legitimately thought I was still in the SRS disasters thread. Jfc
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I agree. It was either a Jeep or a cattle car. Even with supposed advanced German engineering, I doubt she could fit her massive hulking body into a BMW or Mercedes.

Regarding Lauren/Lex, none of these adults are sympathetic in this gaggle of lolcows here. She wanted to make it all about herself, which is all too common with anyone associated with Nick and Tess. That’s why when we kept asking about Tess, she kept whining about Nick because Lauren’s ego was bruised. Then once we gave her asspats and cooed in her ear about how mean Nick was, she promptly fucked off.

In this case, Kiwi Farms was just another john: we gave her currency (asspats and validation instead of money though), did just enough, and then went on to the next john. We should add her to the cows to keep tabs on here moving forward.
 
Rental car or not, what did she gain by saying BOUGHT MY DREAM CAR months before? It just makes her look like a wasteful idiot. (Which she is lol.)
 
AbraCadaver said:
What in god’s name is wrong with this woman’s crotch

does she have a pair of balls tucked inside there or something?
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Fat pussy that lost some fat I reckon. Had she become bigger she would have had an hanging roll on top of her pussy, but this is left of it. Bet Ryann has a an actual fat apron on top of her pit of doom.
 
Umaibae said:
Rental car or not, what did she gain by saying BOUGHT MY DREAM CAR months before? It just makes her look like a wasteful idiot. (Which she is lol.)
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Tubby Tess can’t be seen just living an ordinary life. Everything she does must be considered amazing because that’s all a part of living the exciting life of a famous supermodel. So every car must be a dream car, every tub of Jeni’s ice cream must be omg the best ever, etc.
 
America's Giggling Gigolo said:
I'm hoping Tess' jeep has many of the same problems that Anton Yelchin's did.
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Too soon (:_(. Though I'm not completely convinced it wasn't an elaborate suicide. Anyway if the Jeep rolled into Tess it'd probably bounce right off. I'd count on there being an accident of some sort on the road. I only hope when it happens she doesn't take her poor kids out with her.

Speakeasy Electric said:
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So, are beauty standards different in Australia? Because I find it hard to believe people pay to fuck that. I didn't even notice the meat curtains at first, looked like something out of the srs thread.

Also, I can't feel too sorry for these women who fuck Nick. Even if he was charming and a master manipulator, when they let him raw dog them even though they said they didn't want to I lost almost all sympathy for them. You want a guy to wrap it up, make them wrap it up or cut them off. Don't be fucking spineless when it comes to something that could affect you for the rest of your life.
 
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Cowpies said:
Also, I can't feel too sorry for these women who fuck Nick. Even if he was charming and a master manipulator, when they let him raw dog them even though they said they didn't want to I lost almost all sympathy for them. You want a guy to wrap it up, make them wrap it up or cut them off. Don't be fucking spineless when it comes to something that could affect you for the rest of your life.
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The issue wasn’t that they wanted him to wrap it up, Lauren was just mad that Nick was raw dogging other fat girls. Lauren wanted Nick to only fuck her, which is a supreme irony considering what she does for a living.
 
multiverse said:
He starts kindergarten in the fall.
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Right, like the Montessori school he was in for about 16 hours? If she just committed to saying she was unschooling him, I think I would respect that more. The potty training thing is unbelievable to me. Would he even be able to be registered for school still in diapers?
 
ratatat said:
Right, like the Montessori school he was in for about 16 hours? If she just committed to saying she was unschooling him, I think I would respect that more. The potty training thing is unbelievable to me. Would he even be able to be registered for school still in diapers?
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She can register him, but the teachers won't touch her kid to change him or his clothes if there is a leak. She will have to come down and change him of he makes a mess. And there's no way she can be bothered for this, so he will have to sit in his own mess.

The sheer embarrassment he'll feel when his peers are disgusted by him ought to get him to train himself within a few days of school starting.


And I don't doubt B will be attending school come fall; Ryann likely can't wait for public school to babysit her kid each week day.
 
I was curious, and it appears there is no potty training requirement for kindergarten in California. It’s a “no child left behind”-type thing; they can’t deny a child access to education.

Also, kindergarten is not mandatory in California, which I did not know. You can apparently wait until first grade, which is when the state mandates a kid has to be in school. Tess might just delay him from enrolling, for all we know. Poor Bowie might end up like Gracie Wilcher 2.0.

I know Reddit trash, but this thread from a CA Kindergarten teacher might illuminate some of the issues.

r/Teachers - Kindergarten students not toilet trained... options?? *_*

16 votes and 17 comments so far on Reddit
reddit.com reddit.com
 
Damn, that reddit link is sad- Tess is absolutely one of those parents who would just ignore the problem of her 5 or 6 year old pissing his pants like a literal baby.
On the subject of babies though, also throwing my hat in the ring for "lex is retarded" considering she reproduced multiple times but still wasn't smart or mature enough to see the red flags nick wrapped his faggy shoulders in. How you gonna sit there watching him treat his ex like shit and then be surprised when you are also treated like shit? I keep thinking of her as a single 19 year old, forgetting she's a mother in her twenties.

Good on her for losing all that weight but WHY does her pussy now look like a marsupial? I was expecting lemur eyes to peer out at me or for a baby kangaroo to appear. Really reminds me of a fat hairy balloon, my brain couldn't even puzzle it out at first. Lex has served her usefulness, am glad she came for show & tell, but woof. Get a day job.

Also Tessy barely being able to fit in a 4x4 jeep is fucking funny. That one screenshot, her head looks TEENY on top of that massive pile of fat. I hope one of her fat retarded friends wrecks the car, nbd she has full coverage baby!!1!1!
 
Lex bragged about Nick busting then cried to her socials about how much she didn’t want her voluntary abortion. Posting hamburger pussy is neither surprising or uncommon for bottom barrel BPD hoes.

loved the whorology 101 Ted Talk though
 
Gay Mouth said:
Lex bragged about Nick busting then cried to her socials about how much she didn’t want her voluntary abortion. Posting hamburger pussy is neither surprising or uncommon for bottom barrel BPD hoes.

loved the whorology 101 Ted Talk though
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She cried because she actually wanted to keep Nick Brady’s baby and he was insistent on the abortion. I’m glad she did because neither parents are capable of raising children.

Honeycrispsky said:
Damn, that reddit link is sad- Tess is absolutely one of those parents who would just ignore the problem of her 5 or 6 year old pissing his pants like a literal baby.
On the subject of babies though, also throwing my hat in the ring for "lex is retarded" considering she reproduced multiple times but still wasn't smart or mature enough to see the red flags nick wrapped his faggy shoulders in. How you gonna sit there watching him treat his ex like shit and then be surprised when you are also treated like shit? I keep thinking of her as a single 19 year old, forgetting she's a mother in her twenties.

Good on her for losing all that weight but WHY does her pussy now look like a marsupial? I was expecting lemur eyes to peer out at me or for a baby kangaroo to appear. Really reminds me of a fat hairy balloon, my brain couldn't even puzzle it out at first. Lex has served her usefulness, am glad she came for show & tell, but woof. Get a day job.

Also Tessy barely being able to fit in a 4x4 jeep is fucking funny. That one screenshot, her head looks TEENY on top of that massive pile of fat. I hope one of her fat retarded friends wrecks the car, nbd she has full coverage baby!!1!1!
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Lauren’s fupa is just deflated. I’m glad she lost the weight but her being obese resulted in permanent disfigurement. She can get skin removal surgery but there will still be scarring and if/when she regains the weight, her fat distribution will build around the scars and the internet has no shortage of pictures to see that horror show. It’s why you never get obese to begin with.
 
blablabla said:
Dont be whorefobic whatever the fuck that's supposed to be
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Dude, regardless of what anyone here even thinks about prostitution (I know opinions are all over the place and that's fine, lets not sperg), when she came up in here like it was some tattletale social justice twitter call-out to declare a person "whorephobic" as though anybody here would be impressed, I could just FEEL the rest of the thread being like
Good-Fellas-Hilarious.jpg
 
Oh my. Prayers for that jeep. Jeeps have a payload of about 1050-1130 lbs. Tess and 2 friends easily exceed that. Expect damage to the axle, suspension and uneven tire wear soon.


 
IBrokeBob said:
Oh my. Prayers for that jeep. Jeeps have a payload of about 1050-1130 lbs. Tess and 2 friends easily exceed that. Expect damage to the axle, suspension and uneven tire wear soon.
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Don't forget the driver's seat and steering wheel. Mr. Cheese said fatties pull on the steering wheel to get in and out of the car, and they break. As for the seat, well, that needs no explanation.
 
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