Ethan Ralph's December 16th, 2020 Revenge Porn Arrest & Trial - Trial outcome: Ralph pled No Contest, was found guilty and has a 1yr suspended sentence (not probation).

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What will happen?

  • Plea deal with no jail time

    Votes: 56 25.0%

  • Plea deal with jail time

    Votes: 44 19.6%

  • Guilty with no jail time

    Votes: 31 13.8%

  • Guilty with jail time

    Votes: 37 16.5%

  • Not guilty, alawgs btfo'd, Can't Abort the Retort!

    Votes: 33 14.7%

  • Ralph aborts himself

    Votes: 19 8.5%

  • Other (explain in post)

    Votes: 4 1.8%
  • Total voters
    224
  • Poll closed .
Your honor pls don't sunset me.

I hope he does his trademark piggle (pig giggle) at least once in front of the judge.
 
If (when) he has to go back to court, if we get like a week or so notice, I'll swing down for the next one for sure. Too short of notice for this kiwi. But as this week progresses and we find out when he has to return, I'll be happy to take the day off for some recon
 
instythot said:
hat's when his devices are seized for analysis. Who thinks he has or will take Ade's advice re getting rid of that hard drive he used during his failed tcapstream with warski?
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Ohhhh, SHIT. I completely forgot about this. He is the exact kind of stupid asshole who wouldn't bother to get rid of that hard drive too, isn't he?
 
"DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?!"
-Ralph at the hearing, towards the judge
 
The Demon Baby said:
Ohhhh, SHIT. I completely forgot about this. He is the exact kind of stupid asshole who wouldn't bother to get rid of that hard drive too, isn't he?
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Stupid asshole, also cheap and barely technically literate asshole judging by all of tech support streams on "let's set the audio volume"

Probably thinks it's gone if he doesn't see it in his recycle bin
 
"Your honor, the defense would like to call Andy Warski to the stand."
"WE WILL DEFEND OURSELVES!"
 
Faith will go back to Ralph (or beg to go back to Ralph)before this case is over, she's literally a beaten "spouse" and that cycle will repeat itself until faith gets some form of counseling.


This of course will fuck up the case because she's a fucking idiot and Ralph will play her like the theme song at Chuck E'Cheese where he picks up his next meal and next date.
 
Thumb Butler said:
Immortal status is wearing a kiwi hoodie.
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Ralph hears the gavel slam and the judge shout “GUILTY!”, his heart sinks. He knows that Gaydor can’t help him this time. As the bailiff leads him back to his awaiting cell, he sees him. A tall, beautiful man who probably has a bigger penis than Ralph wearing a T-shirt that can barely contain the man’s Apollonian physique. The shirt has a certain design on it. It’s three cute green kiwi birds, surrounded by corn.
This is too much for Ralph to handle, he starts screaming about the Karen Farms, but it’s too late now. He’s already been sentenced, and autism has won again.
 
Near said:
"DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?!"
-Ralph at the hearing, towards the judge
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Judge: *looks at video evidence* I think I have a pretty good idea and, to be honest, you're coming up a bit short there tubby.
 
CivilianOfTheFandomWars said:
Ralph hears the gavel slam and the judge shout “GUILTY!”, his heart sinks. He knows that Gaydor can’t help him this time. As the bailiff leads him back to his awaiting cell, he sees him. A tall, beautiful man who probably has a bigger penis than Ralph wearing a T-shirt that can barely contain the man’s Apollonian physique. The shirt has a certain design on it. It’s three cute green kiwi birds, surrounded by corn.
This is too much for Ralph to handle, he starts screaming about the Karen Farms, but it’s too late now. He’s already been sentenced, and autism has won again.
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It'd be better if the judge shouted "GUNTY!" if we're going for maximum a-logging.
 
What a lovely surprise this morning. Sadly it's too early for popcorn.

:gunt:
GuntwaveHD.gif
 
Rare video of Ethan Ralph, the owner and editor-in-chief of TheRalphRetort.com being arrested.
6hSsuZc.gif
Just kidding, he's too fat, it would take a dozen policemen to lift him.
 
FuzzMushr00m said:
I don't know the first thing about law in my country, let alone in the US. However if you don't mind I have a question: when the revenge porn was published Faith was in a mental hospital, so at the very least at the moment of publishing it she couldn't consent to it. Do you think this in any way relevant?
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Shouldn't matter, faith would have to be adjudicated by a judge to be mentally incompetent and even then I can't think of any reason it would relate back to whenever ralph is gonna say he got permission.
 
Reverend said:
Faith will go back to Ralph (or beg to go back to Ralph)before this case is over, she's literally a beaten "spouse" and that cycle will repeat itself until faith gets some form of counseling.


This of course will fuck up the case because she's a fucking idiot and Ralph will play her like the theme song at Chuck E'Cheese where he picks up his next meal and next date.
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faith's situation is pretty fucking sad. call me :optimistic:, but i really hope she doesn't mess up this case and that ralph gets what's coming to him.
 
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