🐷 Ethan Oliver Ralph / TheRalphRetort / Rad Roberts / Jcaesar187 / Rage Pig / "Killstream" / "Tequila Sunrise" - 5'1'' fat alcoholic, owner of a gunt, convicted felon, alleged rapist and revenge pornographer. Exiled in Mexico carlesss on a diet of slop. Has triple titties. Wanted to fuck Keffals' moobs.

[IAMAPHATPOS]

There's no half way with him. As soon as you upset him, he goes nuclear. That was pretty harsh stuff. Plus what he said about Josh's mom. I've noticed that when he gets pissed he gets really aggressive with his speech, interrupting and trying to maintain an edge momentum to keep the other person defensive. He did it in that clip and another well known example is with Dispatch when he just starts yelling and screaming to keep control of the argument. Hair trigger temper. Good luck Faith.

He is so fragile and insecure that once someone playfully says a harmless joke, Ralph has to go for the neck as he can't take a joke. I'm sure Ralph actually gets wasted and cries himself to sleep. When he wakes up covered in piss he tells him dying mom to clean his sheets as he spilled cola on them the night before

 

[Crystal Golem]

And he will take your menservants, and your maidservants, and your goodliest young men, and your asses, and put them to his work. - Samuel 8:16

 

[IAMAPHATPOS]

I'm shocked he can get his leg up like that.

As someone who's weight has been a bit of a yoyo I can tell you Ralph must have the tiniest little nuts. When you got meaty thighs and even think about crossing your legs your nuts get crushed by the flesh. I dont care if he is in hobo sweats and not slacks or jeans. The pressure on your balls would be excruciating. His balls must desend back into his grown area. This just doesn't work for thicc bois

 

[Andrew Blaze]

KRAUT is so based and epic. That was actually an amazing short vid. When Ralph goes waddling across the screen running after Andy I literary had water come out my nose from laughing so hard. Well done kraut, I hope you keep these coming. I'm sure you can spin some insanely funny and disturbing scenes. I dont care what anyone says I think you are the smartest guy on fruity farms my dear mensch

I believe that is in fact a reup of a GenoKino

 

[twozero]

When Ralph said you can't reach the pussy, flam should of hit him with the "well at least I can see and reach my cock... Ralph would of exploaded

Gator must be weeping internally everytime Ralph runs to his go-to "at least i'm gettin pussy" insult. For all of the talk of Gator being loyal to a fault, I think it's actually something far more insidious - he see's Ralph as (rightfully so) his only means of online notoriety/clout. If Dax offered him a spot on his podcast, he would jump ship instantly, for example.

Who watches anything for Gator and his lukewarm takes? Nobody. By associating with Ralph people engage with him, and maybe he can parley said clout into getting scraps of e-pussi. Remember, the Gator "oldfag chad" Gamer made up having a big titty latina gf on a stream with Dick. Dick clearly knew it was bullshit and was openly chiding him about his success; the entire encounter was like something from The 40 Year Old Virgin.

Ralph has a profit motive to continue drama on the KS, while Gator literally does it for free.

 

[Disheveled Human]

Axle (phantom organisation) and kraut should team up and make the most epic and based video about the gunt. It will be so good that people who know nothing about this autistic slice of the internet will instantly be hooked. Because I'm not sure if axle did this video by himself or what but it was incredible. Same with kraut. These guys are actually very based and epic. Hmm

You are the first person on this site I think I ever saw do a Triple post instead of condensing it down with breaks.

 

[IAMAPHATPOS]

I'm not so sure about him being able to beat gader, simply because he hasn't abused substances all his life, and is younger. In the fat blob-o-sphere anyone younger has a clear advantage because less time has passed since they were forced to exercise, either in school or doing a labor job they moved up from.

That said, I'm just assuming gader is younger, I actually don't know how old he is. Aside from that though I completely agree with you.

I grew up having to fight against foster brothers much older and stronger. Size doesn't matter that much in fights. You have to have thr confidence youre going to take the other guy period. You also can't be a wimp and have to be able to take some punches. Add in the tendency of fight or flight and add in someone's temper. My point is gator would run faster then Usain bolt to avoid any physical altercation. While I believe Ralph is a pussy I am 100% sure he could beat up gator. I think gator wouldnt even hit back after getting punched. If he couldnt get Ralph to stop he would run. Ralph said he was bullied and had to fight a bit when he was younger. So I'm sure he would size up guys and make a guess on who he could or could not take in a fight. Ralph isnt dumb in this aspect. He did say he could beat PPP but yet within a short period of time he walked that back and turned it into fighting andy, that's not actually going to happen either. I'm sure when Ralph sobered up he realized that fighting PPP would be his career ender. I'm confident PPP would early man handle Ralph. On another note I'm also 100% sure Ralph could beat up metokur. Jim likes to talk shit but there is absolutely not a chance in hell he would risk getting hit. Guys like him run their mouths and once someone calls them out to shoot thr fair one, they nervously call the other person a sperg for wanting to actually fight. Both Ralph and metokur are from the generation where if you run your mouth then you best be able to back it up. Thats why Jim loved the internet. He could be a bully anonymously with no consiquences for his actions. I know the younger gen has alot more keyboard warriors then guys that dont care if they lose a fight. If you are like donga and say youre 111-0. Youve never been in a real fight. No one wins every fight. People get lucky shots in or you'll get jumped by a few guys. I know this from exspirience myself. You win some and you lose some but if you have the heart to have a go you will be able to beat guys who are scared to get hit in the face.

 

[Mr. Manchester]

The idea that Ralph is a glow in the dark CIA nigger is stupid. Ralph could never be a fed . hes poorly educated, has a felony criminal record, is unfit, is a drug addict. has a fucking Gunt And has poor social skills.

He's literally just a redneck loser that got blessed by the youtube algorithm in 2018. He doesn't glow.

You sir, are a man who has never watched an Ernest movie.

Through Ernest you would know all things are possible for a weird hick.

 

[IAMAPHATPOS]

Do you have a source? I'd believe it, surfer may be small but I bet he's feisty.

I mean surfer did have a knife in his hand so.... You can be tough but smart enough to know when things will go left. I'm sure surfer could hold his own with guys his size and size doesnt even matter if you fight dirty.

I don't know i've never seen saggging from 18. It's just extremely rare and she aint from fucking Mogadishu

Correct. With the eceptions of teen moms or possibly losing a shit ton of weight

 

[Psicopax]

KRAUT is so based and epic. That was actually an amazing short vid. When Ralph goes waddling across the screen running after Andy I literary had water come out my nose from laughing so hard. Well done kraut, I hope you keep these coming. I'm sure you can spin some insanely funny and disturbing scenes. I dont care what anyone says I think you are the smartest guy on fruity farms my dear mensch

I don't think it was respect. I think it's fear of retaliation and having the gunt send his jannies to try and ruin his life. Thats how Ralph is over a bit of banter between the boys. He can sure give it but he can't take the smallest bit. He instantly has to act tough and start with the low blows. I'm surprised anyone at this point even wastes their time on him. Sooner thrn later he will turn on all of them unless they cower under his gunt forever and pump him up like gator. I'm sure gator calls at noon to wame Ralph up and tells him how handsome, smart and successful he is 7 days a week. If he misses a day Ralph will blame him for everything that has gone wrong in last year and gator will just have to take it on the chin as he lost all self respect long long ago

Axle (phantom organisation) and kraut should team up and make the most epic and based video about the gunt. It will be so good that people who know nothing about this autistic slice of the internet will instantly be hooked. Because I'm not sure if axle did this video by himself or what but it was incredible. Same with kraut. These guys are actually very based and epic. Hmm

I mean surfer did have a knife in his hand so.... You can be tough but smart enough to know when things will go left. I'm sure surfer could hold his own with guys his size and size doesnt even matter if you fight dirty.

Correct. With the eceptions of teen moms or possibly losing a shit ton of weight

Stop double and triple posting dude, wtf are you doing. Learn to edit your posts and add to a post instead of making a new one, jesus. You almost have a whole page with your autistic yelling all to yourself

I believe that is in fact a reup of a GenoKino

Its troooo. There is also the sequel

And the conclusion

And a new video posted today

 

[Superman93]

lol

 

[LordOdin]

I can't believe I come here to observe the thread... I have let go of all grudges, rebuilt my channel, made peace with most antagonists, but the Gunt..... it's just too funny to let go.

I don't even hate Ralph that much. To an extent, I even have pity for him. Mostly, I pity his mum and feel sorry for what she must be going through daily.

I don't even want to burn him or hurt him, as he and Gator always claim. I mean.... all the bad shit that happened to them over the last year, they did it all to themselves.

Gunt even declined an offer of peace and to consequently go separate ways and never talk about each other again that I had sent his way over a year ago.

He really wanted to cling on to having me as some sort of cartoon enemy of his online persona... but... he wasn't even around during my Drama and downfall... he was in jail.

I just find a weird curious joy in seeing this thing, and his lapdog gator, who two years ago told me that they would "never allow Kraut to return to the internet".

Their current miserable state is just too funny to ignore. Maybe it's also just that Gator keeps sending me threats on a monthly basis telling me hilarious shit like:

"LEAVE THE INTERNET KRAUT! OR WE WILL DESTROY YOU AGAIN!"
"REMEMBER KRAUT! I CAN ALWAYS GET JIM TO MAKE MORE VIDEOS ON YOU!"
"YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HIGH MY INTERNET POWERLEVEL IS!"

That is probably it, the reason I keep watching. When I had my downfall I eventually accepted the fall and realized I had to rebuild.

The way Gunt and Gator act as if they were some kind of deified ancient god-kings of the internet, while in reality being the utter and complete bottom of the barrel, that weird deluded mindset, is probably what keeps me watching.

I do hope you keep focussing on your content kraut what you did before was very faggy but for all the chances warski got you deserve one too. NGL your hungary video was very good so keep it up.

Just have Josh sign up on one of those mail order bride websites.

Josh and i would need to be together for 3 months before the coof to allow him in

 

[Guntkvd]

@Kraut did braving ruin ever resurface? I don't think a single person who pounced on you even sustained their relevance.

 

[MediocreMilt]

I agree, but Gator reminds me of failure in that I don't think either of them have been in a fight in their lives. The advantage Ralph has is that he'll try and hurt you, which isn't alien to him whereas Gator I doubt has ever tried to hurt anything.

Failure's been in a fight. With those drunk dudebros. The ones Andy Warski ordered Alex to kill.

He just didn't really fight back.

Alison Prime

Ralph actually had a good stream with that guy when he was outed. To put that in perspective, it was so long ago that the bellydancer with severe Crohn's or whatever would still tolerate him.

 

[Mr. Manchester]

Honestly, I might have even stopped thinking and talking about Ralph, and mocking them, if he wouldn't constantly talk about me, or to me. It's really weird.

I don't know man, the Ralph show is so god damn funny that if you've followed it to any extent I think you'd mock it anyway. I can't imagine how funny this is for you though.

Like I haven't laughed this hard at a lolcow in a long time. The weird content (yours included), the strange breakdowns, the bitter bitter irony of Ralph complaining about shit he's consistently done to other people. It's all there. For you there's this personal touch though, I'm a little jealous.

Edit: and Matt Jarbo has to be on cloud 9

 

[Ethan Ralphs Micro Penis]

Hey @Null can we give @IAMAPHATPOS his own version of this thread he can comment in? Or at least something to automatically format his posts?

 

[Disheveled Human]

Failure's been in a fight. With those drunk dudebros. The ones Andy Warski ordered Alex to kill.

He just didn't really fight back.



Ralph actually had a good stream with that guy when he was outed. To put that in perspective, it was so long ago that the bellydancer with severe Crohn's or whatever would still tolerate him.

I remember the AIM AIM AIM stream what bothered me the most was andy got all the shit for it when it was failure who proclaimed Shoot Shoot when the dudes approached him instead of throwing hands.

Check 0:33 second mark.

 

[Vetti]

Its a shame Porsalin never stuck around to make a Ralph documentary.

 

[itsoktobewhite]

Pretty sure David from New Jersey wouldn't see the end of it before his dox dropped on anonymous imageboards.

I DIDNT LIKE YOU DOXING MY SUPPORTERS XANDER
I DIDNT DOX HIM THATS NOT TRUE AS A MATTER OF FACT
NO ITS NOT TRUE NO ITS NOT TRUE
FUCK YOURSELF YOU PIECE OF SHIT FAGGOT MOTHERFUCKER NO ITS NOT TRUE PIECE OF SHIT
AND IF I HAD TO GUESS IT WAS PROBABLY YOU THAT FUCKING DOXED HIM
MOTHERFUCKING LYING COCKSUCKING FAGGOT MOTHERFUCKER
YOU WANNA HOLLER OVER ME,EVERY FUCKING SECOND
I COULD JUST SCREAM OVER YOU TOO,YOU PIECE OF SHIT MOTHERFUCKER
KEEP FUCKING RUNNING YOUR MOUTH
ILL JUST KEEP HOLLERING,YOU MOTHERFUCKING PIECE OF SHIT
EAT A FUCKING COCK
GO KILL YOURSELF
YOU FUCKIN PIECE OF MOTHERFUCKING SHIT
I FUCKING…GODDAMN
OR WE COULD JUST KEEP HOLLERING OVER EACH OTHER ALL FUCKING DAY
WAAAAAAAAAAYEAHYEAH WAAAAAYEEEAAAA
FUCK YOU MOTHERFUCKER I AIN'T LEAVING BITCH YOU LEAVE

 

[Mr E. Grifter]

Failure's been in a fight. With those drunk dudebros. The ones Andy Warski ordered Alex to kill.

He just didn't really fight back.

Is it really a fight if you don't fight back?

That's kinda my point though. Gaytor and Failya both sat off camera and acted tough, but when you realise they're both overweight, goofy looking doughballs who would probably struggle to maintain a normal amount of eye contact while paying for a drink at a bar (not that Gaytor could do that anyway), it's clear that's all an act.

Ethan would beat up Gaytor simply because he's soft. He had the shape of a fucking pear.