Leonard Helplessness
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Nov 28, 2018
He shilled mangosteen shit for the same reason that he shilled Goldbelly -- as a lazy cash grab and nothing more.
A recurring pattern I've noticed with Richard is that he is extremely averse to exerting any effort on literally anything. He likes multi-level marketing schemes like Amazon Affiliates and Goldbelly commissions because he can just make a post on an internet forum and the cash comes tumbling in. He tried to become a Let's Play superstar because he heard that you could make big money by simply playing video games on a stream, but when he didn't like some of the comments in chat he melted down and decided to just watch old videos on his stream and talk over them instead of, y'know, going to the effort of pressing buttons on a video game controller. When relaunching the front page he did almost nothing whatsoever except yell at people who asked for better pay; from what I've heard all of the actual legwork of getting new writers and editors was handled by Logan. The forums themselves are staffed entirely by volunteers who work themselves into the ground for absolutely nothing while Richard does fuckall except rake in the cash.
The plan that Logan Day pitched was a wet dream to someone like Richard, because it revolved around making a return on the Something Awful brand through absolutely no effort on Richard's part whatsoever. The plan was to fill the front page with articles that were written by third parties who were paid almost nothing (because getting to work for the brand was compensation enough) and edited by third parties who were also paid as little as possible (because, once again, getting to work for the brand was compensation enough). Earning a return on the increased front page traffic was going to be automatic through a third-party ad system that required no maintenance or oversight, and as a bonus it would revitalize the forums, which function as basically a vending machine that provides intangible services in exchange for electronic payments and is administered by volunteers who are willing to dedicate all their time to the forum because they're working for the brand rather than for any compensation.
Whether this scheme would have worked had it been successfully implemented, we do not know. What we do know is that the implementation required a lot of hard work on Richard's part, so he didn't bother; he simply delegated every task to Logan except the centrally important 24/7 duty of laying around the house emitting flatus. He was so dedicated to holding down the sofa that he ignored Logan's declining mental state until she had a full-on meltdown, at which point he threw her out of the house and went back to sleep. His entire life is now burning to ash around him, and he barely seems to have noticed.
Richard is a remarkably lazy man; I remember him "ironically" complaining on his twitter that he'd bought a hundred or so Hearthstone card packs and it was a lot of effort to click on every card in every pack. Richard lucked into a bunch of money, squandered all of it, made a lot of friends, turned all of them into enemies, had some kids, had all of them taken away from him, became famous, and pissed away every bit of goodwill anybody ever felt toward him. Almost every failure that has occurred in Richard's life was a consequence of his laziness. There exist slime molds that exert more effort to improve their lives than Richard did.
