Social Justice Warriors - Now With Less Feminism Sperging

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From the PHB: "Also called dark elves, the Drow have skin that resembles charcoal or obsidian, as well as stark white or pale yellow hair." I think they tend to be rendered as more bluish or purplish in the art, though, just to avoid layering black on black.
 
From 1E on, any RPG player who actually, you know, played the game instead of looking through the manuals for something to screech about feared only three things:

1) A Pit Fiend in close quarters.
2) A Rust Monsters
3) A Drow raiding party.

OK, we'll go with black skin. And the sexy outfits the females wore.

Here's what "culture based on horniness" misses and why it SHOULD be an SJW fantasy worthy of flogging the soy out of the cocks.

It's a matriarch. Men are for little more than breeding, slave labor, and to die on the battlefield. EVERY female drow will rip a fucking party into tiny pieces. Their entire society is the subjagation and/or destruction of ALL cultures that do not worship their spider goddess Lloth. She is the ULTIMATE in controlling dieties. Only the worthy may excel, and any who fail her tests are turned into horrible abominations, half-spider, half twisted and scarred female. Even THOSE are a serious threat to any party who stumbles across one.

They are arguably the most POWERFUL fucking elves out there.

Just going by 1E they had: Unlimited level cap. None of this wussy max level shit for them. They could multiclass, going up all three classes. Your average drow female warrior was a Fighter/MU/TH or F/MU/C, and they would FUCKING LEVEL YOU. They have innate magical abilities but worst of all, they have fucking magic resistance.

All their gear, from their cobweb tit slingers to their ass hugging cunt-shields, were fucking magic'd out the goddamn ass.

Their society is Chaotic in the POLITICAL arena. When it comes to combat tactics, they can teach the High Elvish pussies a thing or two. They are the masters of small squad level tactics, with frequent bolt-holes, fallback positions, and scouting.

Introduced in D1/2/3 (Or maybe G3, it's been like 40 years...), the Drow were the ULTIMATE in "DM powered fucking killing machines". If your party had a group of drow on your ass, you better haul ass for the fucking surface.

They might have been sexy, but they were sexy in the: "Admire how your blood drips off my massive DDD tits as you take your last breath, surface scum." They attacked from ambush but could fight in your fucking face. Their priestesses could summon the demonic servants of Lloth like YOUR wizard summons bad breath and poor personal hygiene. Their fighters were not some elf that picked up a bow every week or two for a couple hundred years, these were the males (or females, oh God, the female fighters) that survived centuries of brutal inter-house warfare and drow territorial expansion. You DON'T HAVE ANY TRICKS to these fuckers. They've got NO dump stats. Not even Con. They've survived the blood rituals, the harsh under-dark radiation, the magics of the Matrons, and what your pathetic surface dwelling ass can bring to bear is NOTHING compared to what they've seen.

They've fought the Mind Flayers (The Illithid) almost to extinction, they pushed the Gith and Githyanki into the Astral Plane to hide from them. They've crushed everyone.

They've got the meanest fucking rituals, the most powerful matrons, their goddess directly pays attention to them and hates the surface dwellers, they've got access to magical metals and alloys that your wizard would shit himself over, they've got magical items churned out by hordes of male slave-mages.

To reduce the fucking DROW to elvish niggers shows they've never played a single fucking game where they ended up facing these goddamn nightmares.

Let's go Full Metal Sperg...

Here's your typical male. Notice the LOL
m4BNf5hRvSnJMMHrQSj7W8g.jpg

Yeah, I'm being a bit facetious here, but that's pretty much the Drow males to the old 1E players. They were cannon fodder and you'd pretty much ROFLStomp them.

But...

BEHOLD THE FEMALE!
6f097f1aa3b74eb13ea035c0b0aeb9b4.jpg

That full metal bitch? She's probably a F/MU/CL level 12 or 13. Meaning she's going to Fuck. Your. Shit. Up.

I mean, there's an old rule. You see some Drow female in plate with a shield and a sword, she's probably pretty young and you can stomp her.

But then her sister comes down the hall, completely naked, half-drunk, singing.

Your party needs to run. Right fucking now. That naked bitch is about to rip your entire party into their component atoms and then laugh about it to her friends.

The drow were bad fucking news. You fight your way past the giants, into the Depths of the Earth, and run into the Vault of the Drow. Suddenly your hard core PC's are getting fucking gutter stomped by half-naked big tittied bitches wearing nothing but cobwebs and sneers of disdain for your weak surface dwelling ass.

I mean, shit, look at this:
242drowfiendfolio.jpg

Magic Resistance at 50% STARTING OUT. The males are faster than the females. They start off with 2 hit dice. AC 4 is for like some poor dirt digging male slave covered in whip marks and not even used for breeding. They've got poison, magic weapons, crossbows, magic armor, dual or multi-classed equal to your character's level.

962f8b7e6979c748d451255aadeab885.jpg

That right there? That fucking module SLAUGHTERED PC's. We ran face first into the meanest fucking elves the world had ever seen.

518HDVqPolL._SX258_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg

The faggots only see this, and miss something: That is the WORST thing we could see. See them half naked bitches? We're talking AC -4 TO START, prepped spells, more magic items than a 3E Epic Party, tons of disposable male warriors.

Your characters fight to there, you know that more than likely those 3 bitches are going to summon an avatar of Lloth and/or a Yotchol to eat your fucking head.

They're sexy because it shows their domination over the ugly bitches who can't afford to and aren't powerful enough to be beautiful. Their sexiness is a fucking weapon and a status symbol. None of those three drow have ever deigned to as much as scratch their own ass, they've got slaves for that shit.

It's disgusting that these worthless soy-infused faggots have reduced one of the most frightening species/civlizations in the D&D/AD&D cosmos to nothing but oppressed niggers they need to protect.

And actual drow matron would skin them alive to hear them scream for having the temerity to think they are anything but the rulers of the Underdark.
 

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Jet Fuel Johnny said:
To reduce the fucking DROW to elvish niggas shows they've never played a single fucking game where they ended up facing these goddamn nightmares.
Click to expand...

Long ago I did one campaign with the Queen of the Demonweb Pits TSR campaign and nobody would ever play anything involving these fuckers ever again. And these were people who enjoyed Tomb of Horrors.

Cast Iron Pan said:

People are giving him shit for his looks on Twitter. So he posts these ancient pre-obesity photos to show them how wrong they are.

View attachment 1274047View attachment 1274049

Images from a month ago show him 10 years older and 100lbs heavier.
Click to expand...

He's like a fucking soy golem.
 
AnOminous said:
Long ago I did one campaign with the Queen of the Demonweb Pits TSR campaign and nobody would ever play anything involving these fuckers ever again. And these were people who enjoyed Tomb of Horrors.
Click to expand...
Most of these faggots got their idea of the Drow from the Neverwinter games and the Drizzt books. Not the goddamn nightmares out the modules. Hell, even the old SSI video games, a party of drow would stomp you into the dirt. They weakened them for the later games, but still...

Christ, they were just plain bad news. I really can't think of a parellel in most modern games because MUH BALANCE.

They were like taking your 2nd level character against a fucking Ancient Red Dragon. Outside. With no missile weapons. When you're naked.
 
Jet Fuel Johnny said:
From 1E on, any RPG player who actually, you know, played the game instead of looking through the manuals for something to screech about feared only three things:

1) A Pit Fiend in close quarters.
2) A Rust Monsters
3) A Drow raiding party.

OK, we'll go with black skin. And the sexy outfits the females wore.

Here's what "culture based on horniness" misses and why it SHOULD be an SJW fantasy worthy of flogging the soy out of the cocks.

It's a matriarch. Men are for little more than breeding, slave labor, and to die on the battlefield. EVERY female drow will rip a fucking party into tiny pieces. Their entire society is the subjagation and/or destruction of ALL cultures that do not worship their spider goddess Lloth. She is the ULTIMATE in controlling dieties. Only the worthy may excel, and any who fail her tests are turned into horrible abominations, half-spider, half twisted and scarred female. Even THOSE are a serious threat to any party who stumbles across one.

They are arguably the most POWERFUL fucking elves out there.

Just going by 1E they had: Unlimited level cap. None of this wussy max level shit for them. They could multiclass, going up all three classes. Your average drow female warrior was a Fighter/MU/TH or F/MU/C, and they would FUCKING LEVEL YOU. They have innate magical abilities but worst of all, they have fucking magic resistance.

All their gear, from their cobweb tit slingers to their ass hugging cunt-shields, were fucking magic'd out the goddamn ass.

Their society is Chaotic in the POLITICAL arena. When it comes to combat tactics, they can teach the High Elvish pussies a thing or two. They are the masters of small squad level tactics, with frequent bolt-holes, fallback positions, and scouting.

Introduced in D1/2/3 (Or maybe G3, it's been like 40 years...), the Drow were the ULTIMATE in "DM powered fucking killing machines". If your party had a group of drow on your ass, you better haul ass for the fucking surface.

They might have been sexy, but they were sexy in the: "Admire how your blood drips off my massive DDD tits as you take your last breath, surface scum." They attacked from ambush but could fight in your fucking face. Their priestesses could summon the demonic servants of Lloth like YOUR wizard summons bad breath and poor personal hygiene. Their fighters were not some elf that picked up a bow every week or two for a couple hundred years, these were the males (or females, oh God, the female fighters) that survived centuries of brutal inter-house warfare and drow territorial expansion. You DON'T HAVE ANY TRICKS to these fuckers. They've got NO dump stats. Not even Con. They've survived the blood rituals, the harsh under-dark radiation, the magics of the Matrons, and what your pathetic surface dwelling ass can bring to bear is NOTHING compared to what they've seen.

They've fought the Mind Flayers (The Illithid) almost to extinction, they pushed the Gith and Githyanki into the Astral Plane to hide from them. They've crushed everyone.

They've got the meanest fucking rituals, the most powerful matrons, their goddess directly pays attention to them and hates the surface dwellers, they've got access to magical metals and alloys that your wizard would shit himself over, they've got magical items churned out by hordes of male slave-mages.

To reduce the fucking DROW to elvish niggas shows they've never played a single fucking game where they ended up facing these goddamn nightmares.

Let's go Full Metal Sperg...

Here's your typical male. Notice the LOL
View attachment 1274033
Yeah, I'm being a bit facetious here, but that's pretty much the Drow males to the old 1E players. They were cannon fodder and you'd pretty much ROFLStomp them.

But...

BEHOLD THE FEMALE!
View attachment 1274035
That full metal bitch? She's probably a F/MU/CL level 12 or 13. Meaning she's going to Fuck. Your. Shit. Up.

I mean, there's an old rule. You see some Drow female in plate with a shield and a sword, she's probably pretty young and you can stomp her.

But then her sister comes down the hall, completely naked, half-drunk, singing.

Your party needs to run. Right fucking now. That naked bitch is about to rip your entire party into their component atoms and then laugh about it to her friends.

The drow were bad fucking news. You fight your way past the giants, into the Depths of the Earth, and run into the Vault of the Drow. Suddenly your hard core PC's are getting fucking gutter stomped by half-naked big tittied bitches wearing nothing but cobwebs and sneers of disdain for your weak surface dwelling ass.

I mean, shit, look at this:
View attachment 1274039
Magic Resistance at 50% STARTING OUT. The males are faster than the females. They start off with 2 hit dice. AC 4 is for like some poor dirt digging male slave covered in whip marks and not even used for breeding. They've got poison, magic weapons, crossbows, magic armor, dual or multi-classed equal to your character's level.

View attachment 1274038
That right there? That fucking module SLAUGHTERED PC's. We ran face first into the meanest fucking elves the world had ever seen.

View attachment 1274037
The faggots only see this, and miss something: That is the WORST thing we could see. See them half naked bitches? We're talking AC -4 TO START, prepped spells, more magic items than a 3E Epic Party, tons of disposable male warriors.

Your characters fight to there, you know that more than likely those 3 bitches are going to summon an avatar of Lloth and/or a Yotchol to eat your fucking head.

They're sexy because it shows their domination over the ugly bitches who can't afford to and aren't powerful enough to be beautiful. Their sexiness is a fucking weapon and a status symbol. None of those three drow have ever deigned to as much as scratch their own ass, they've got slaves for that shit.

It's disgusting that these worthless soy-infused faggots have reduced one of the most frightening species/civlizations in the D&D/AD&D cosmos to nothing but oppressed niggas they need to protect.

And actual drow matron would skin them alive to hear them scream for having the temerity to think they are anything but the rulers of the Underdark.
Click to expand...
God knows how, because basically everything I've read about their culture screams that they're so bad at existing Lolth needs to spawn in a couple thousand new Drow every few years to replace the ones that got backstabbed just to keep them from going extinct.
 
Monolith said:
God knows how, because basically everything I've read about their culture screams that they're so bad at existing Lolth needs to spawn in a couple thousand new Drow every few years to replace the ones that got backstabbed just to keep them from going extinct.
Click to expand...
That's all the shitty Wizards of the Coast shit written by authors who can't figure out how to write the society because half of the people who showed up for the job interviews showed up wearing Star Trek uniforms and shit.
 
Jet Fuel Johnny said:
From 1E on, any RPG player who actually, you know, played the game instead of looking through the manuals for something to screech about feared only three things:

1) A Pit Fiend in close quarters.
2) A Rust Monsters
3) A Drow raiding party.

OK, we'll go with black skin. And the sexy outfits the females wore.

Here's what "culture based on horniness" misses and why it SHOULD be an SJW fantasy worthy of flogging the soy out of the cocks.

It's a matriarch. Men are for little more than breeding, slave labor, and to die on the battlefield. EVERY female drow will rip a fucking party into tiny pieces. Their entire society is the subjagation and/or destruction of ALL cultures that do not worship their spider goddess Lloth. She is the ULTIMATE in controlling dieties. Only the worthy may excel, and any who fail her tests are turned into horrible abominations, half-spider, half twisted and scarred female. Even THOSE are a serious threat to any party who stumbles across one.

They are arguably the most POWERFUL fucking elves out there.

Just going by 1E they had: Unlimited level cap. None of this wussy max level shit for them. They could multiclass, going up all three classes. Your average drow female warrior was a Fighter/MU/TH or F/MU/C, and they would FUCKING LEVEL YOU. They have innate magical abilities but worst of all, they have fucking magic resistance.

All their gear, from their cobweb tit slingers to their ass hugging cunt-shields, were fucking magic'd out the goddamn ass.

Their society is Chaotic in the POLITICAL arena. When it comes to combat tactics, they can teach the High Elvish pussies a thing or two. They are the masters of small squad level tactics, with frequent bolt-holes, fallback positions, and scouting.

Introduced in D1/2/3 (Or maybe G3, it's been like 40 years...), the Drow were the ULTIMATE in "DM powered fucking killing machines". If your party had a group of drow on your ass, you better haul ass for the fucking surface.

They might have been sexy, but they were sexy in the: "Admire how your blood drips off my massive DDD tits as you take your last breath, surface scum." They attacked from ambush but could fight in your fucking face. Their priestesses could summon the demonic servants of Lloth like YOUR wizard summons bad breath and poor personal hygiene. Their fighters were not some elf that picked up a bow every week or two for a couple hundred years, these were the males (or females, oh God, the female fighters) that survived centuries of brutal inter-house warfare and drow territorial expansion. You DON'T HAVE ANY TRICKS to these fuckers. They've got NO dump stats. Not even Con. They've survived the blood rituals, the harsh under-dark radiation, the magics of the Matrons, and what your pathetic surface dwelling ass can bring to bear is NOTHING compared to what they've seen.

They've fought the Mind Flayers (The Illithid) almost to extinction, they pushed the Gith and Githyanki into the Astral Plane to hide from them. They've crushed everyone.

They've got the meanest fucking rituals, the most powerful matrons, their goddess directly pays attention to them and hates the surface dwellers, they've got access to magical metals and alloys that your wizard would shit himself over, they've got magical items churned out by hordes of male slave-mages.

To reduce the fucking DROW to elvish niggas shows they've never played a single fucking game where they ended up facing these goddamn nightmares.

Let's go Full Metal Sperg...

Here's your typical male. Notice the LOL
View attachment 1274033
Yeah, I'm being a bit facetious here, but that's pretty much the Drow males to the old 1E players. They were cannon fodder and you'd pretty much ROFLStomp them.

But...

BEHOLD THE FEMALE!
View attachment 1274035
That full metal bitch? She's probably a F/MU/CL level 12 or 13. Meaning she's going to Fuck. Your. Shit. Up.

I mean, there's an old rule. You see some Drow female in plate with a shield and a sword, she's probably pretty young and you can stomp her.

But then her sister comes down the hall, completely naked, half-drunk, singing.

Your party needs to run. Right fucking now. That naked bitch is about to rip your entire party into their component atoms and then laugh about it to her friends.

The drow were bad fucking news. You fight your way past the giants, into the Depths of the Earth, and run into the Vault of the Drow. Suddenly your hard core PC's are getting fucking gutter stomped by half-naked big tittied bitches wearing nothing but cobwebs and sneers of disdain for your weak surface dwelling ass.

I mean, shit, look at this:
View attachment 1274039
Magic Resistance at 50% STARTING OUT. The males are faster than the females. They start off with 2 hit dice. AC 4 is for like some poor dirt digging male slave covered in whip marks and not even used for breeding. They've got poison, magic weapons, crossbows, magic armor, dual or multi-classed equal to your character's level.

View attachment 1274038
That right there? That fucking module SLAUGHTERED PC's. We ran face first into the meanest fucking elves the world had ever seen.

View attachment 1274037
The faggots only see this, and miss something: That is the WORST thing we could see. See them half naked bitches? We're talking AC -4 TO START, prepped spells, more magic items than a 3E Epic Party, tons of disposable male warriors.

Your characters fight to there, you know that more than likely those 3 bitches are going to summon an avatar of Lloth and/or a Yotchol to eat your fucking head.

They're sexy because it shows their domination over the ugly bitches who can't afford to and aren't powerful enough to be beautiful. Their sexiness is a fucking weapon and a status symbol. None of those three drow have ever deigned to as much as scratch their own ass, they've got slaves for that shit.

It's disgusting that these worthless soy-infused faggots have reduced one of the most frightening species/civlizations in the D&D/AD&D cosmos to nothing but oppressed niggas they need to protect.

And actual drow matron would skin them alive to hear them scream for having the temerity to think they are anything but the rulers of the Underdark.
Click to expand...

I really want to play AD&D again now.
 
Ok but how are Drow dark skinned when realistically they would be albino due to living where the sun hasn't ever shined?
 
Gotta love how the first thing they latch on to is "OMG DARK SKIN", when the Drow's skin tone doesn't look anything like any real life's ethnicity and their facial features and proportions are never depicted as anywhere near African. Drows look more like an European elf cosplayer after a horrifying incident at a squid orgy.

DanteAlighieri said:
Ok but how are Drow dark skinned when realistically they would be albino due to living where the sun hasn't ever shined?
Click to expand...
They were already charcoal-skinned before being banished to the underworld. And I'm sure patterning their entire society after the worship of an evil spider-goddess didn't do wonders to their complexion in the long term either.
 
DanteAlighieri said:
Ok but how are Drow dark skinned when realistically they would be albino due to living where the sun hasn't ever shined?
Click to expand...
If I recall, elves in Greyhawk were white and raven-haired. So the drow were supposed to be a literal photo negative of the elves to show how different and evil they were from the elves.
 
SuudsuAddict said:
They need to fuck off already. If D&D offends them so much, they really need to make their own game. Actually, that would be great! Because then it will fail like most other woke products! However, with SJWs being the way they are, they would ignore reality like they so often do. And who am I kidding? You guys are right that they WON'T make their own fantasy game.

Is there ANYTHING that is either safe from SJWs, that SJWs failed to ruin, or that has survived being ruined by SJWs?
Click to expand...
Warhammer. The fact that there no "good" characters or factions in either Fantasy or 40k for them to Mary Sue as is usually a big turn off for their sort. Also there's the fact that GeeDubs rarely ever listens to the input of their own consumer base, let alone those of some neon haired freaks outside of it in the first place.
 
Besides, come on, we all know that the real black people in DnD are Kenku. I mean, mostly all black. Cant speak proper english. Love to steal. Pack tactics. Often live in groups and ruin neighborhoods. Say things like "NIX BOOD" Which shooting their magic fireball staff's at other Kenku. Eat all the time. Envies white Arkorka who can fly and are way more successful. Only good at agility checks.


Pretty messed up, imo.
 
CharlesBarkley said:
Besides, come on, we all know that the real black people in DnD are Kenku. I mean, mostly all black. Cant speak proper english. Love to steal. Pack tactics. Often live in groups and ruin neighborhoods. Say things like "NIX BOOD" Which shooting their magic fireball staff's at other Kenku. Eat all the time. Envies white Arkorka who can fly and are way more successful. Only good at agility checks.


Pretty messed up, imo.
Click to expand...
But can Kenku swim? And is eating fried chicken considered cannibalistic by them?
 
Btw, I mentioned this is a different thread, but the folks over on sites like TV Tropes actually view the label of Social Justice Warrior as a compliment and l as something to be proud of. To quote one user (Tobias Drake to be precise)

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/posts.php?discussion=13125974270A57100500&page=3757#93910

"I'll never get over how much "Social Justice Warrior" sounds like an amazing 80's cartoon.

"Nyah ha ha! Soon I, Commander Male-Man, shall complete my evil plan to blanket the world in PURE TESTOSTERONE! Soon, everyone with a Y chromosome will become wild, frothing MANLY MEN! Wait! What's this?! Oh no, the SOCIAL JUSTICE WARRIORS have arrived to foil my dastardly plans!"

"Stop right there, Male-Man! We've come to save the people of the Earth from your wretched schemes, and allow men to be sensitive and nurturing without feeling shame for their way of life!"
 
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