Miscellanous Chris Communications: New 1/8/2015

[Mogambo]

[8/10/2014 12:55:53 PM][8/10/2014 4:23:27 PM] Chris: Also, when my father and I moved to Richmond for my Middle and High School education, mom had to stay behind for her job at Virginia Power. She drove up on weekends. She eventually retired from there, and found employment at FNANB later, from which she was able to stay in Richmond with us throughout most of the years there, up to mid 2000, after my Graduation. But she had found resentment in Mr. C. in that he was there for me, and she was stuck in Ruckersville; she found her own comfort in sleeping on the couch, which does make for her habit of the same these days.

I agree its interesting that he calls his father "Mr. C." It's almost as if Chris is distancing himself from Bob now that he's passed away. Also interesting to note that Chris says Barb felt resentment towards Bob for being there for him. That's... kind of disturbing... but not really surprising I guess.

[8/10/2014 6:21:59 PM] Chris: The State Farm agent, working with our main agent, in claims and whatever, kinda screwed me and my mom over here. She will be getting a piece of our minds.

God is Barb a bitch. Once again she's blaming everyone else but herself. Hope that poor State Farm agent gets a good laugh at Barb's expense.

I just cleared the trash from under my bed and cleaned up a few carpet stains with some elbow grease and Resolve cleaner.

Good to know Chris still has his elbow greased strength!

[8/10/2014 6:24:17 PM] Chris: **sigh...

Wah! Wah! Pay attention to me!

[8/10/2014 6:26:53 PM] Chris: I do apologize for missing the 1:00 PM, but I felt tired from the emotions of last night's mother-son talk.

[8/10/2014 6:27:23 PM] Chris: And, yeah, I didn't hit the hay until like 4 AM.

[8/10/2014 6:29:25 PM] Chris: I need to get on a more consistent day schedule, instead of falling back on my fickle internal clock. I might try taking a nap at midnight and getting up at like 8 AM, or something. I need to call that claims agent anyway, in addition to the piece of my mind message I gave fresh from the moment. It works out that we will be meeting on the 23rd, because I will be having a rough week this one now.

Chris' sleep schedule is all over the place. That could easily be due to depression or poor health. Most likely both in Chris' case. I can only hope that if Chris does go to jail maybe it will normalize his sleep cycle.

[8/10/2014 6:32:26 PM] Chris: I am more of a face person, definitely; I usually notice the face of people first anyway.

This coming from the same guy who had to spend hours staring at himself in the mirror to learn what he looked like. Chris' facial recognition skills... aren't that great.

[8/10/2014 6:33:31 PM] Chris: You might not find that in a lot of men; the lot of them stereotypically notice and stare at the C-Cup size or greater breasts. But I know better; "My eyes are up here!"

Stereotypically? I'm a heterosexual man and I've been just fine dating women with b-cups and a-cups. Chris' entire idea of masculinity seems to be hung up on cartoonish depictions of "bros" who are into big boobs and the like. Considering Chris' interaction with Catie it seems he even patterns his behaviors on such stereotypes when he is on dates. And hat's the hang up with c-cups? Why did he decide that was the bare minimum breast size?

[8/10/2014 6:35:34 PM] Chris: Eye contact is initially difficult for autistic people; something in the ADD that goes along with that. I'm little different. A lot of times, my eyes will look in other directions, down, upward; wherever. It takes some effort for me to maintain it, and even on successful eye contact, I may have an eye or both twitch off into a direction.

That doesn't surprise me so much. I would actually expect Chris wouldn't pay much attention to people when talking to (or rather at) them. What does surprise me is that he doesn't take this as yet another chance to mention his much vaunted heterochromia.

[8/10/2014 6:48:37 PM] Chris: So, my vehicle is an will be a dark blue Dodge Caravan, with a license plate promoting finding (unlocking) a cure for Autism (with crayon children on it); it reads "UN4EVR", as in "United" or "Unlocking" for ever, in that cure for Autism. Mr. C. Had that plate made and thought out like that; he came up with that idea.

Always wondered where the UN4EVR licence plate came from. Bob never seemed like a big fan of the UN IMHO.

[4:09:53 AM] Chris: Just another thought or two for now. I have watched episodes 3 and 4 of the Tudors, and I like how mad Henry felt deeply about Anne; that was news to me at the moment.

[4:12:08 AM] Chris: And the old king his sister married, I felt upon first impression from his face, he reminded me of someone pretending to be Rumplestiltskin. But yeah, she worked to her desire of marrying for herself.

So Chris is obsessed with the Tudors now. Is it because he thinks he's descendant from royalty or because he thought Catie was British? Also why does it not surprise me that Chris is conflating historical figures with characters from fairy tales?

[4:14:31 AM] Chris: Also, I have learned the name of the British actress from Frasier, she is Jane Leeves. I am not sure if Leeves is an English or British name

English or British? How does he still not understand Britain? What as he expecting? A Cornish accent maybe? Welsh? Scottish?

[4:16:43 AM] Chris: I have just learned from my mother that she worked volunteer at the library in her High School. It shows how I tend to feel attracted to the bookworm types.

Oedipus Chan...

[4:28:23 AM] Chris: Another thing about Barbara Anne, she enjoys shows like "Storage Wars", "Pawn Stars", and a lot of the automotive shows on the Velocity channel. Just so you know.

Again why am I not surprised? TV shows about people making money off garbage. Of course that shit would appeal to her.

And, check out James Mays' Toy Stories; he built a full size house out of LEGO; I want to go there as well.

I'm kind of surprised that Chris likes James Mays. Maybe there's hope for him yet.

[4:30:52 AM] Chris: And maybe visit the Warehouse in San Fransisco to meet the MythBusters. I would like to get my duct tape wallet autographed by Adam, Jamie, Kari, Tory and Grant; maybe my phone case as well.

Good to know he still likes MythBusters.

She still could be. Or she could suddenly be Asian for awhile. That's the beauty of Chris.

To be fair the two aren't mutually exclusive. About 5% of Britain is Asian. Indians make up the largest immigrant in the UK, followed closely by Pakistan and Bangladesh, and there are a couple hundred thousand speakers each for Panjabi, Urdu, Hindi, Bhojpuri, Bangla, Sylheti, Gujarati, Persian, Tamil and several other Asian languages.

Yeah, Storage Wars and Pawn Stars (and their upmarket cousin Antiques Roadshow) teach you that your hoarded crap is worth money so you should hold onto it forever

Of course it would appeal to Barb. Those sorts of shows are aimed at hoarders like her. They convince her that any garage sale junk or dollar store kitsche could be worth a fortune if she just holds onto it for another decade or two. It's even more depressing when you realize that the show is mostly staged anyway.

 

[4Macie]

Out of all the things I wish I could forget....this trumps them all.

For me, it's the spooning... on his bed.
Having a sexy dream about your parent is pretty weird, but I don't think it means anything. I associate Chris dreaming about Barb like that as anyone having a sexy dream about people they know. It doesn't usually mean anything; it's just your brain being weird.

HOWEVER, Chris has/is actively spooned with Barb; multiple times. In his bed. In her bed. On the couch. Etc. If he was under the age of 21, I could be weirded out but ok with it. I mean, kids, they snuggle with mom or dad. Especially if something traumatic happens; like if a family member was lost. BUT, Chris is a 30+ year old man spooning his ancient mother. On a regular basis.

I'd also forget the fact that he's talked to his mom about his masturbatory habits and his sex doll. That one phone call/video where his mom asks him to put his sex doll somewhere else besides the hallway will forever be engrained in my skull.

 

[Katolate]

Chris must have some C cup boob fetish. He mentions that specific size way too much.

Probably it's just because the "C" word.
C-quarters, CWC-Ville, CWC-Radio and now C-cup breast size.

 

[warongiygas]

[8/10/2014 6:33:31 PM] Chris: You might not find that in a lot of men; the lot of them stereotypically notice and stare at the C-Cup size or greater breasts. But I know better; "My eyes are up here!"

And he stared at my tits a lot. I kept hoping Cousin Al would say something but he never did. In retrospect I should've called him out on it.

 

[Springer]

Oh dear, yikes! Thanks for your Opinions on the thought. I guess there is no escape from the disturbing angle to it!

I have to go check out the Bellydancing Barb Dream on the wiki now, some how I (mercifully) missed that bit of Christory.

 

[Dreamatorium]

For me, it's the spooning... on his bed.
Having a sexy dream about your parent is pretty weird, but I don't think it means anything. I associate Chris dreaming about Barb like that as anyone having a sexy dream about people they know. It doesn't usually mean anything; it's just your brain being weird.

HOWEVER, Chris has/is actively spooned with Barb; multiple times. In his bed. In her bed. On the couch. Etc. If he was under the age of 21, I could be weirded out but ok with it. I mean, kids, they snuggle with mom or dad. Especially if something traumatic happens; like if a family member was lost. BUT, Chris is a 30+ year old man spooning his ancient mother. On a regular basis.

I'd also forget the fact that he's talked to his mom about his masturbatory habits and his sex doll. That one phone call/video where his mom asks him to put his sex doll somewhere else besides the hallway will forever be engrained in my skull.

Speaking of Blarb, I vaguely remember a leaked conversation from a while ago, going past maybe a year, in which Chris mentioned having to medicate his mother's "holey buttocks" (his words). Apparently they were cystic bedsores. His life is just nonstop insanity.

 

[Shadow Fox]

I just cleared the trash from under my bed and cleaned up a few carpet stains with some elbow grease and Resolve cleaner.

How hard is it to not keep trash under your bed??? Jesus fuck.

Takes 25 minutes to "catch his breath" after throwing away some garbage and taking some junk to Goodwill.

6:30 PM: says he's going to try to get on a more normal sleep schedule.
11:30 PM: just woke up from a three-hour nap.
Apparently Barb stays awake until the wee hours, too, since he said he just had a conversation with her at 4:30 or whenever that last handful of messages was.

Wonder what the "mother/son chat" he mentioned earlier was about?

 

[Optimus Prime]

Takes 25 minutes to "catch his breath" after throwing away some garbage and taking some junk to Goodwill

And yet he doesn't appear to have had breathing problems when booking it from the Dec. 28th incident.

 

[Ho Mo for Women]

That bit about how "the higher force" is messing with Chris's consciousness is somewhat ominous...

Maybe he means SEGA...

 

[Relax Guy]

[8/10/2014 11:24:44 PM] Chris: Ugh! The higher force is messing with my head again.

Is it Christopher Weston Chandler? Is he making you slap yourself again?

Spoiler: Example

 

[Zombietrout]

Maybe he means SEGA...

Maybe Chris has finally lost his mind an Count Graduon is taunting him about still being single and all the trolls everywhere always watching him.

 

[Ho Mo for Women]

Maybe Chris has finally lost his mind

You can't lose what you don't have.

 

[XH 502]

This actually puts some enlightening context into Chris' months-long texts to Renee without any response. He did the same thing to Catie, albeit over a much shorter amount of time. Chris doesn't actually want to have a conversation with another human being, rather he just wants the validation that there's someone listening to him on the other end. In fact, he seems to prefer the silent treatment to active participation.

Takes 25 minutes to "catch his breath" after throwing away some garbage and taking some junk to Goodwill.

I noticed that too. It makes me wonder how many times his heart beats per minute.

 

[Cuck Norris]

This actually puts some enlightening context into Chris' months-long texts to Renee without any response. He did the same thing to Catie, albeit over a much shorter amount of time. Chris doesn't actually want to have a conversation with another human being, rather he just wants the validation that there's someone listening to him on the other end. In fact, he seems to prefer the silent treatment to active participation.



I noticed that too. It makes me wonder how many times his heart beats per minute.

At least silence doesn't tell him to get a job or see a therapist or that it's Batman.

 

[XH 502]

At least silence doesn't tell him to get a job or see a therapist or that it's Batman.

Exactly, if anything Chris seems to take silence as complete and utter consent or agreement with what he's talking about. Silence to him means, "Yes, Chris." When people talk back they usually just want to tell him, "no".

 

[jemas42]

Maybe Chris has finally lost his mind an Count Graduon is taunting him about still being single and all the trolls everywhere always watching him.

Chris used to talk to Sonichu and Rosechu before he went to sleep, and have them give him advice. If memory serves, he even gave MLW a speech from Sonichu during their *ahem* confrontation. Count Graduon talking to him would be disturbing, but not THAT far outside previously established behavior.

Hell, maybe he thinks Count Graduon is responsible for the Blue Arms.

 

[Holdek]

I look forward to the debut of Oedipuschu.

[4:27:18 AM] Chris: My mom's name is Barbara Anne Weston Chandler, but I sometimes call her Barbara Anne; it makes her smile.

 

[Lurkingjay]

New "fun" CWC-watcher party game: imagine yourself picking up one of Chris's mannerisms and try and figure out how long it'd take you and/or those around you to be completely baffled or disgusted. I can't even fully imagine myself referring to my parents in the "Barbara Anne"/"Mr. C" format without questioning my life choices.

I really hope Alec is right and the whole thing is a way of unconsciously distancing himself from his dead father and rapidly aging mother; it's a weird coping mechanism, but coping mechanisms can be strange sometimes, so whatever. My worry, though, is that it reinforces the post-Bob status quo where Chris is his mother's peer and expects her to be his (while still caring for him, of course), Bob becomes an increasingly distant authority figure whose loss heralded the new age of Chris and Barbara Anne being BFFs, and everything in the Chandler household gets that much more unnerving. Then again, I guess he's always been pretty open about spooning with / having some level of attraction to his mother, so probably this isn't anything new.

Stereotypically? I'm a heterosexual man and I've been just fine dating women with b-cups and a-cups. Chris' entire idea of masculinity seems to be hung up on cartoonish depictions of "bros" who are into big boobs and the like. Considering Chris' interaction with Catie it seems he even patterns his behaviors on such stereotypes when he is on dates. And hat's the hang up with c-cups? Why did he decide that was the bare minimum breast size?

C-cup is generally also the cutoff that mainstream media uses for breasts that are "sexy" and "feminine," so my suspicion would be that Chris has internalized that message and uses it as one of his benchmarks of sexiness. Since "sexy" is one of the suite of traits that all women must possess, like being "sweet" and "caring," and Chris can only hold one archetypal woman in his mind as a stand-in for all women in the world, this woman must also be a C-cup or larger.

 

[Zombietrout]

Chris used to talk to Sonichu and Rosechu before he went to sleep, and have them give him advice.

Maybe he still does. Maybe that's why he keeps cutting ties with people like "Renee". Beacuse sonichu and rosechu tell him what he wants to hear about himself and the dang dirty trolls. To qote the cwcki "Reality is the universe from which Chris. is quite detached,".

 

[Billy Boy]

Catie deserves a Medal of Honor for this...