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- Feb 3, 2013
Weeaboos and other Japan spergs
- Thread starter random_pickle
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- Aug 13, 2014
I just learned something here...
H
HG 400
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kiwifarms.net
That's it. I'm sick of all this "Masterwork Bastard Sword" bullshit that's going on in the d20 system right now. Katanas deserve much better than that. Much, much better than that.
I should know what I'm talking about. I myself commissioned a genuine katana in Japan for 2,400,000 Yen (that's about $20,000) and have been practicing with it for almost 2 years now. I can even cut slabs of solid steel with my katana.
Japanese smiths spend years working on a single katana and fold it up to a million times to produce the finest blades known to mankind.
Katanas are thrice as sharp as European swords and thrice as hard for that matter too. Anything a longsword can cut through, a katana can cut through better. I'm pretty sure a katana could easily bisect a knight wearing full plate with a simple vertical slash.
Ever wonder why medieval Europe never bothered conquering Japan? That's right, they were too scared to fight the disciplined Samurai and their katanas of destruction. Even in World War II, American soldiers targeted the men with the katanas first because their killing power was feared and respected.
So what am I saying? Katanas are simply the best sword that the world has ever seen, and thus, require better stats in the d20 system. Here is the stat block I propose for Katanas:
(One-Handed Exotic Weapon)
1d12 Damage
19-20 x4 Crit
+2 to hit and damage
Counts as Masterwork
(Two-Handed Exotic Weapon)
2d10 Damage
17-20 x4 Crit
+5 to hit and damage
Counts as Masterwork
Now that seems a lot more representative of the cutting power of Katanas in real life, don't you think?
tl;dr = Katanas need to do more damage in d20, see my new stat block.
I should know what I'm talking about. I myself commissioned a genuine katana in Japan for 2,400,000 Yen (that's about $20,000) and have been practicing with it for almost 2 years now. I can even cut slabs of solid steel with my katana.
Japanese smiths spend years working on a single katana and fold it up to a million times to produce the finest blades known to mankind.
Katanas are thrice as sharp as European swords and thrice as hard for that matter too. Anything a longsword can cut through, a katana can cut through better. I'm pretty sure a katana could easily bisect a knight wearing full plate with a simple vertical slash.
Ever wonder why medieval Europe never bothered conquering Japan? That's right, they were too scared to fight the disciplined Samurai and their katanas of destruction. Even in World War II, American soldiers targeted the men with the katanas first because their killing power was feared and respected.
So what am I saying? Katanas are simply the best sword that the world has ever seen, and thus, require better stats in the d20 system. Here is the stat block I propose for Katanas:
(One-Handed Exotic Weapon)
1d12 Damage
19-20 x4 Crit
+2 to hit and damage
Counts as Masterwork
(Two-Handed Exotic Weapon)
2d10 Damage
17-20 x4 Crit
+5 to hit and damage
Counts as Masterwork
Now that seems a lot more representative of the cutting power of Katanas in real life, don't you think?
tl;dr = Katanas need to do more damage in d20, see my new stat block.
- Joined
- Aug 21, 2014
In case people are confused, this is a copypasta from 4chan, originally made by a huge weeaboo(This part should be obvious).
H
HG 400
Guest
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Apr 14, 2014
Meh, translation is hard, and all the moreso when translating between English (which easily has three times the vocabulary of most languages) and a non-Indo-European language with relatively few cognates. Both Japanese and English have centuries worth of idioms, colloquialisms and cultural references. And Japan is very different from another European culture like say Spain or the Czech Republic. Japan was isolated for much of its history, and owes very little of its cultural references to Christianity, Classical Greco-Roman civilization, Germanic paganism or the Englightenment (and, conversely, Anglo-American cultures owes very little to Buddhism, Neo-Confucianism, Sinification or indigenous Japanese animism).
So yeah, I can understand giving context for some things. Not walls of text or anything but at least explaining some references. Much in the same way that a non-native English speaker might misinterpret something like "break a leg." That being said, leaving every other noun untranslated simply because it "sounds cool" is just retarded. Sometimes do you see that in English, usually (but not always) with Latin, French or Greek terms. And even then, it tends to make one sound like a pompous ass. Only very rarely will you see people refer to Christopher Columbus as "Cristóbal Colón," or call the Mona Lisa (not even the correct Italian spelling by the way) "La Gioconda," or the Book of Revelation as "the Apocalypse of St. John." I can't imagine that a fictional proper noun from a children's cartoon warrants the same importance or cultural resonance to avoid translating it; especially in light of the fact that Japanese language and culture has had very little influence on Anglo-American culture rendering most references moot anyway.
I... can't tell if that's a brilliant troll spoofing the fetishization of katanas or if it's a legitimate idiot who actually believes all of that crap. Going by the average lack of intellectual sophistication on the internet, I fear it very well may be the latter. It's especially funny when you consider:
1. Swords... just can't cut through stone or steel.
2. Every culture spent decades or centuries perfecting their weapons. We still don't know how to replicate the legendary Damascus steel, which is a decidedly "Western" thing, Not to mention that no culture is static. Many Native American and African civilizations adopted guns soon after contact with Europeans, for example, and were quite adept at them.
3. No European power conquered Europe because for much of the Medieval and Renaissance period the European powers weren't in a position to conquer anyone. Much of Asia was dominated by stronger Muslim polities, up to and including the "gun powder empires" of the 16th ccentury. That's part of which encouraged the Spanish, Portuguese, Dutch and others to look for sea routes into East Asia in the first place. That and the fact that European knowledge of Japan was vague and spotty at best until the 15th or 16th century.
4. Gunpowder pretty much rendered swords obsolete. In fact the Japanese actually adopted firearms from their early contact with the Portuguese (again, decidedly "Western").
5. How did that whole WWII thing work out for Japan again?
Honestly I think you could pick apart this whole diatribe all day given the time and interest for it. It never ceases to amaze me how many Americans will blindly take at face value claims about katanas performing almost supernatural feats, but will ignore or downplay similar claims about say the Indonesian kris, Nepali kukri, or even European swords like Tizona and Colada. I mean blaming anime and Japanese cinema only goes so far. Tamil cinema has romanticized the urumi, Balkan folklore is full of local legends about different daggers and swords (often stolen from the Turks), and the Lay of El Cid mentions Tizona pretty prominently, but you don't see nearly the amount of slavish devotion to these blades.
It's actually kind of disappointing. I mean, how awesome would it be to see a bunch of nerds sperging out and dressing like Vikings, Aztec jaguar knights or Zulu warriors?
So yeah, I can understand giving context for some things. Not walls of text or anything but at least explaining some references. Much in the same way that a non-native English speaker might misinterpret something like "break a leg." That being said, leaving every other noun untranslated simply because it "sounds cool" is just retarded. Sometimes do you see that in English, usually (but not always) with Latin, French or Greek terms. And even then, it tends to make one sound like a pompous ass. Only very rarely will you see people refer to Christopher Columbus as "Cristóbal Colón," or call the Mona Lisa (not even the correct Italian spelling by the way) "La Gioconda," or the Book of Revelation as "the Apocalypse of St. John." I can't imagine that a fictional proper noun from a children's cartoon warrants the same importance or cultural resonance to avoid translating it; especially in light of the fact that Japanese language and culture has had very little influence on Anglo-American culture rendering most references moot anyway.
I... can't tell if that's a brilliant troll spoofing the fetishization of katanas or if it's a legitimate idiot who actually believes all of that crap. Going by the average lack of intellectual sophistication on the internet, I fear it very well may be the latter. It's especially funny when you consider:
1. Swords... just can't cut through stone or steel.
2. Every culture spent decades or centuries perfecting their weapons. We still don't know how to replicate the legendary Damascus steel, which is a decidedly "Western" thing, Not to mention that no culture is static. Many Native American and African civilizations adopted guns soon after contact with Europeans, for example, and were quite adept at them.
3. No European power conquered Europe because for much of the Medieval and Renaissance period the European powers weren't in a position to conquer anyone. Much of Asia was dominated by stronger Muslim polities, up to and including the "gun powder empires" of the 16th ccentury. That's part of which encouraged the Spanish, Portuguese, Dutch and others to look for sea routes into East Asia in the first place. That and the fact that European knowledge of Japan was vague and spotty at best until the 15th or 16th century.
4. Gunpowder pretty much rendered swords obsolete. In fact the Japanese actually adopted firearms from their early contact with the Portuguese (again, decidedly "Western").
5. How did that whole WWII thing work out for Japan again?
Honestly I think you could pick apart this whole diatribe all day given the time and interest for it. It never ceases to amaze me how many Americans will blindly take at face value claims about katanas performing almost supernatural feats, but will ignore or downplay similar claims about say the Indonesian kris, Nepali kukri, or even European swords like Tizona and Colada. I mean blaming anime and Japanese cinema only goes so far. Tamil cinema has romanticized the urumi, Balkan folklore is full of local legends about different daggers and swords (often stolen from the Turks), and the Lay of El Cid mentions Tizona pretty prominently, but you don't see nearly the amount of slavish devotion to these blades.
It's actually kind of disappointing. I mean, how awesome would it be to see a bunch of nerds sperging out and dressing like Vikings, Aztec jaguar knights or Zulu warriors?
H
HG 400
Guest
kiwifarms.net
Rhomphaia or go home, scrubs.
- Joined
- Jun 7, 2014
I was in high school when pokemon red and blue came out. My friends and I went and bought the games almost immediately since it was fun kicking the shit out of each other with the GAMEBOY CORD.
The pokemon anime came out shortly thereafter, and suddenly my group of friends started having this girl circle around creepily. She looked sort of like Vade (even the same ugly haircut) with a dirty camo green trench coat she NEVER took off. Gave off major creep waves and sperged about anime if you were near her too long.
In art class we had to do a large watercolor painting, and the teacher didn't seem to give a shit what the subject matter was. I did a pikachu sort of like the original watercolor concept art by Nintendo. The weeaboo girl saw it after I hung it up in the hallway, and literally shrieked in joy and instantly started begging for it, and even offered me a whopping $5 for it. I said no, I was going to keep it.
The weeb threw one of the biggest coniption fits I have ever seen even to this day. It was bad enough the art teacher had to come over and get rid of her.
Lo, three days later the watercolor was ripped off the wall and gone. In her fevor to steal it, she'd destroyed the matt frame. No one saw her do it so I couldn't get her in trouble even though it was stupidly clear she did it.
The best part was when I made some clay sculptures that ended up in a hallway case. She came over, sperged on me, and tried to offer me $10 for work easily worth 10x that. I used colorful language to tell her no, and she pitched a huge coniption again. Fortunately she couldn't break into the cabinet.
The pokemon anime came out shortly thereafter, and suddenly my group of friends started having this girl circle around creepily. She looked sort of like Vade (even the same ugly haircut) with a dirty camo green trench coat she NEVER took off. Gave off major creep waves and sperged about anime if you were near her too long.
In art class we had to do a large watercolor painting, and the teacher didn't seem to give a shit what the subject matter was. I did a pikachu sort of like the original watercolor concept art by Nintendo. The weeaboo girl saw it after I hung it up in the hallway, and literally shrieked in joy and instantly started begging for it, and even offered me a whopping $5 for it. I said no, I was going to keep it.
The weeb threw one of the biggest coniption fits I have ever seen even to this day. It was bad enough the art teacher had to come over and get rid of her.
Lo, three days later the watercolor was ripped off the wall and gone. In her fevor to steal it, she'd destroyed the matt frame. No one saw her do it so I couldn't get her in trouble even though it was stupidly clear she did it.
The best part was when I made some clay sculptures that ended up in a hallway case. She came over, sperged on me, and tried to offer me $10 for work easily worth 10x that. I used colorful language to tell her no, and she pitched a huge coniption again. Fortunately she couldn't break into the cabinet.
- Joined
- Jul 12, 2014
Let's not forget one of the biggest Japanphiles, the creator of Megatokyo. And if you want weeaboos for the wild west, I suggest Big Head Press (especially Roswell, Texas and Escape from Terra) though the old west they love is the one you see in those 1950's movies. Mainly because they believe that the wild west was an anarchist paradise where they can be macho heroes.
- Joined
- Jan 17, 2014
Oh, I remember this one.
My favorite part is that there was somehow a unified Europe in the Medieval Ages that refused to conquer Japan because of their fear of Samurai.
Not the fact that Europe was constantly at war with itself and the logistics of transporting an invasion force across Eurasia to mount an amphibious invasion of some Island on the other side of the world would have been fucking astronomical.
Or the fact that they were far too busy fighting the Muslims.
No. It was entirely because they feared the Samurai.
It's sort of like how Asia never tried to invade Norway because they were afraid of the Vikings and their mighty Long-ships which could easily sail over anything with water on it, even wet grass.
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S
SU 390
Guest
kiwifarms.net
@Mogambo
I think animes like Rurouni Kenshin are to blame that katanas can perform supernatural feats. For all intents and purposes, RK is a great series but at times when most actions like cutting a lamppost and cutting a cannonball in half can make people think that katanas are over 9000 d00d! Animes and Mangas always make some weeaboos believe even the most silliest stunt can be imitated in real life.
I think animes like Rurouni Kenshin are to blame that katanas can perform supernatural feats. For all intents and purposes, RK is a great series but at times when most actions like cutting a lamppost and cutting a cannonball in half can make people think that katanas are over 9000 d00d! Animes and Mangas always make some weeaboos believe even the most silliest stunt can be imitated in real life.
- Joined
- Sep 6, 2013
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2013
Well, animes, manga's, Hollywood, and pop-culture are to blame in making katana's look like the deadliest sword there is (compounded by weebs thinking of fiction being fact). If a weeaboo thinks a katana can bisect a knight, they can try though unless the hit the parts uncovered by the armor, their glorious sword of Japan will break.
Here's a better one.
- Joined
- Jun 29, 2013
Reminds me of how guns have the same effect on gun spergs who think they're the urban gunslinger who never misses a shot. And I feel real sorry for anyone who thought a reverse katana is a real thing.
I have to be honest, I think this whole "katana vs. swords" argument is a total spergfest on all ends. This one quote always comes to mind on why it's a pointless waste of time (he was talking about drawing but still): "There was this Japanese samurai named Musashi Miyamoto who studied all these schools on swordfighting and he realized none of that matters; what matters is you kill the other guy."
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- Joined
- Apr 14, 2014
Kampilan at kalis. Heh. I had a roommate back in the day who was an ethnic Maranao from Mindanao. They are a pretty tenacious people (famously they fought against first the Spanish, then the Americans, then the Japanese), and they have the folklore and epic mythology to go with it.
Speaking of which, I wonder how the Weebs would react if they knew more about Japanese war crimes during World War II? I mean, I know they tend to deny or ignore it, but at the same time you'll find plenty of people in the Philippines, Indonesia, Taiwan, China, Korea and elsewhere who (rightly or wrongly) still hate Japanese people to this day for what they did during the invasion. Things like the rape of Nanking, use of slave labor in the Andamans, using captured women as "comfort girls" or the Palawan massacre do tend to do that to people.
Of course on the other hand you also have quite a few hardcore anime nerds in the Philippines and other parts of Asia too, so who knows.
- Joined
- Dec 16, 2013
Here's some historical sperging since some "Katanas are garbage!!" arguments are being thrown around in here. Katana were light personal arms carried primarily during the Edo period (i.e. after they stopped having large scale military battles in Japan) as a result of Tokugawa's draconian laws. The closest western equivalent would be the rapier, both in terms of age of design and purpose (Katana were developed out of the heavy military uchigatana swords, similar to how rapier were developed from military basket-hilts, both were designed to be used against targets wearing little to no armor, both were carried by elite upper class military and merchant classes, etc.) It's dishonest to say katana are garbage when they were crafted for a single purpose, as a dueling arm, and they did exceedingly well in that role. Just because a group of stupid people like something doesn't mean the item in question is shit.
Generally they copy the rhetoric the Japanese ultranationalists use (The comfort women were lucky volunteers, Nanking is mostly western and communist propaganda, the allies were worse in WWII, etc.) Japanese ultranationalists have actually been known to recruit western Japanophiles to "fight the cultural degradation being caused by secret Koreans" because of that.
Yeah, it's kind of weird how a lot of Asia looks at that kind of stuff. Like on the one hand you have countries like China and N. Korea using Japanese occupation as an excuse for their failures and as a nationalistic rallying cry, but then on the other hand you have other countries using those countries' persecution of ethnic Japanese citizens as proof of their corruption and in places like Hong Kong you hear a lot of people say "The Japanese weren't as bad the Mainlanders are."
- Joined
- Feb 6, 2013
It's not like samurais were particularly honorable until after the fact. Bushido was invented by a guy who cheated on a duel and refused the ritual suicide, and it was spread around Japan once the samurai were forced to take on bureaucratic jobs because the new Emperor didn't want them getting too uppity.
Why do you think we don't hear of 'modern' samurai after the 1800s?
Why do you think we don't hear of 'modern' samurai after the 1800s?
- Joined
- Sep 27, 2014
For the same reason that people kinda shut up about chivalry after Agincourt?
- Joined
- Dec 16, 2013
Bushido was always kind of a vague concept without set formal rules, similar to the European concept of chivalry. Though the formalization of Bushido began with the philosophical writing Hagakure, and was later turned into defined rules in books like the Bushido Shoshinshu when some old traditionalists felt the samurai were too far removed from their roots. Also it was the shogun Tokugawa who did that, not the Emperor, and the samurai weren't forced into bureaucratic jobs. Japan had been unified and there was no need for them to preform military duties at that point.
The caste was technically abolished after the Meiji revolution when the emperor was put in power, but samurai families continue to have a significant hold on Japanese business and government. Mitsubishi and Honda were both founded by former members of samurai clans for instance.
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- Joined
- Feb 3, 2013
As far as I know, the kampilan and kalis (both Filipino swords) would be the weapons of Mindanao. Considering these blades going against the Japanese in WWII, it would make one wonder if they could break through the shin gunto's used by the Japanese (Said swords, the shin gunto's, may of not been made from good metal iirc but I could be wrong.)
Weebs would either 1) be ignorant of the Japanese war crimes or 2) know a bit of it but could downplay it, saying that America was worse because of the atomic bomb or that China was something bad like a big mean Communist dictatorship (or something like that). As far the anime nerds go, they could no doubt of heard of such war crimes and know that what Japan did is terrible.