Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

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They already introduced time travel in Rebels, and Rebels was given a lot of attention and references in Rogue One, Solo and a lot of media compared to the new comics and books, and time travel has already been implied a few times in other new media, and in Rebels Palpatine opened up one of those same portals. I've posted the pics a few times.
Well, I know, but they haven't put it in the movies yet and I consider anything not in the movies as lesser canon, tbh. I know the old system of the EU is no longer valid and the new shit is essentially as canon as canon gets... Most likely cause I don't watch or read the other stuff, so anything that happens there is non-existent to me.

There aren't villains anymore, no characters for the kids to cheer for and jeer at.
This can't be stated enough. Luke is no longer a hero, he's a bitter hermit loser. Hux is a joke. Rey and the other MCs are just tagging along on a journey cause the script says so and noone has any reason to actually do what they do. Yolo Swolo Ren is all over the place due to inconsistent writing. If he a villain, is he a troubled boy who got in with the wrong crowd, should we hate him or pity him?

It's just a big pile of bland greys without anything thought provoking or inspiring.
 
Sounds like something Disney would do. Canning Clone Wars for being too violent,

Now I'm not the biggest SW fan since its gay and for babies who cant handle real sci-fi like Star Trek, but I do remember from the few times I've watched the movies a lot of decapitations, arms being lopped off, Lukes family being skeletonized and general murder so I'm not sure what Disney was expecting when they spent four billion for this shit.
 
An "Ugh" would imply simple indifference. These new stories though just make you either miffed, disgusted or horribly disappointed, and everything you thought is proven completely wrong or they do their best to completely undo everything George and past writers and authors did. At least the old stories played it somewhat safe and followed on ones expectations, but now everything is about subverting expectations on everything (the Rian strategy) or making exact uninspired duplicates of everything (the JJ strategy) but with a dash of woke. "The monsters were all misunderstood. One of the tusken raiders was very likely transgender and the other was actually attacking Luke in self defense (I'm not joking). Dr. Aphra is a bigger hero than Luke because she stopped the zombie apocalypse and she's smarter and taught him how to have balls. Luke and the gang didn't stop the Empire, it was actually Chuck Wendig's diversity gang that did it" and so on and so forth. Giving extra trivia on something isn't inherently bad, its when you go out of your way to be as terrible about it as you can possibly be while completely undermining the achievements of everyone that came before you. I'm supposed to expect that Luke and his gang are actually losers whose achievements are worth diddly squat, that the Rancor just wanted to play fetch and the Dianoga was baptizing people in the sewer? Nuts to that Disney.

Edit:
Our proud dianoga heroine in the book's poster...
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*Screams internally*
 
*Screams internally*
Yeah, Tusken Raiders care about identity politics. Not that they're alien creatures covered head to toe in cloth, nor are they people who shoot at podracers for shits and giggles, raid Jawa caravans, and generally get up to Space Muslim mischief.
 
Well, I know, but they haven't put it in the movies yet and I consider anything not in the movies as lesser canon, tbh. I know the old system of the EU is no longer valid and the new shit is essentially as canon as canon gets...
Its probably easier for you to not notice since you don't keep track of the shitfest that is the Expanded Disney Universe (I like that term) outside of what's posted here, but shit from there gets dropped a lot in the new films... Even Wendig was jumping with glee at seeing his self-insert and things from his novels added to the films (I've posted about this before) and other media. Same with EA games, Marvel comics and other writers. Honestly removing the old canon tiers system and calling out retcons only to follow that up by creating a singular mandatory "CANON" to shove all their new shitty media into was just one of the stupidest things Disney has done with SW. For example, every time they do something stupid or inconsistent in their films or in their new cartoons, games or books, they say "its not inconsistent or stupid, you just have to read this other book/play this game/buy this comic to understand why TFA, RO, TLJ, Rebels, Resistance and Solo do this and that and why the First Order took over after TFA or why Rey can use the Force, etc since we are too lazy to work it into our films". That's not how the old Films or the old Canon worked, Disney.

I personally liked a large chunk of the EU (for those new to the thread, it means everything outside of the films, like video games, cartoons, comics, books, RPGs, Filoni Wars, etc) before Disney, but George never relied heavily on them as pillars that were necessary to tell the story in his films, as the EU existed as an extension of the films for people who wanted to learn more about the amazing setting George created. Again, they were not pillars that were necessary for the films to be enjoyed, the expanded media were "branches" on the "tree" that was George's original concept, with fruits a plenty to continue telling the story of the characters and the universe, but it wasn't mandatory to eat a lot or all of the fruits to understand the story carved on the trunk like with Disney, and it wasn't even mandatory to look at the story on the trunk to enjoy some of the fruits whether they were delicious, okay or rotten. They were just sweet bonuses that helped to deepen things for those who wanted them, and some of them could have George's complete involvement and did have some importance with the films like prequel EU material, but they weren't mandatory, they were just there to pick if you wanted them or not, with any references between each other being superficial and non-mandatory. You could play one game or read one comic and if they had references to events from each other's stories, you didn't have to worry about understanding the references since they're mentioned in the same vague fashion as "Dantooine" or the "Imperial Senate" are in A New Hope. You might not know what Dantooine is, but you don't need to know for the sake of the story, its just there to make the world feel bigger. So if you hear Revan (KOTOR) or Uncle Owen (ANH) talking about wanting to visit Corellia for a vacation, don't worry, you don't need to go read about Corellia, you just figure its somewhere nice to go.

But with Disney its the complete opposite. You wanna know why the Galaxy is still such a mess? "Buy this book gaiz!" Wanna know why the First Order came back full force? "Buy this comic gaiz!" You wanna know why Rey can use the Force? "Buy this hawt ReyxKylo softcore erotic novel gaiz!" You wanna know why Admiral Holdo is such a fucking bitch and took Ackbar's place? "Buy this fucking audiobook!" You wanna know why Finn doesn't act like a brainwashed trooper? "Buy this essential 100 page guide on the First Order!" A movie that requires you to go out and buy more stuff to "get it" is just lazy and uninspired, while a true work of inspired fiction can inspire others and create depth (Hell, George already had Coruscant, Boonta and so much more world building set up as far back as the 70s). And in regards to the second question concerning the First Order's return, there's no real answer; in the Marvel comic Leia, Ackbar and Rey just don't care how the First Order came back, they just simply go "Does it matter?". I think it really should fucking matter how your enemies were able to regroup and come back stronger than ever in less than a few days or how they were even able to become a force greater than the galactic government in the first place despite being a fringe group that had all its resources destroyed in the shitty EA games' storyline.
First Order explanation.png

It's just a big pile of bland greys without anything thought provoking or inspiring.
Look on the less dark side, if IX is really as much a shitshow as it seems to be, we'll get a good laugh out of the colorful chaos and butthurt that ensues while we can hope that the backlash will be enough to put this once beloved franchise to rest so we may forget the shitpile Disney has turned it into. I mean seriously, casting the guy from Dr. Who to play Palpatine and then have him use time travel. If 100% true (and Inverse has been partly right with their previous film leaks and spoilers), IX will be just one big chaotic shitpost. So if its really as bad as it seems, hell even I might watch it just to see this cinematic Hindenburg.
 
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And in regards to the second question, there's no real answer; in the Marvel comic Leia, Ackbar and Rey just don't care how the First Order came back, they just simply go "Does it matter?". I think it really should fucking matter how your enemies were able to regroup and come back stronger than ever in less than a few days or how they were even able to become a force greater than the galactic government in the first place despite being a fringe group that had all its resources destroyed in the shitty EA games' storyline.
View attachment 597478
Look at something like the Thrawn Trilogy for example, if it wasn't written by Timothy Zahn and instead by one of Disney's hacks.
'How is Thrawn getting the manpower to crew all his new ships? That shouldn't be possible!'
'Lmao who cares you entitled manbaby, there's space magic and shit so it shouldn't matter'
 
Look at something like the Thrawn Trilogy for example, if it wasn't written by Timothy Zahn and instead by one of Disney's hacks.
'How is Thrawn getting the manpower to crew all his new ships? That shouldn't be possible!'
'Lmao who cares you entitled manbaby, there's space magic and shit so it shouldn't matter'
"who the hell cares about story or worldbuilding or enriching the setting?! just buy product and dont fucking complain you piece of shit"
 
I'm so pissed at Disney, Lucas Film and Lucas {he sold to Disney when other companies exist and he chose Katleen Kennedy) that ther exist no word in the language of the world to remotely describe it
 
I'm so pissed at Disney, Lucas Film and Lucas {he sold to Disney when other companies exist and he chose Katleen Kennedy) that their exist no word in the language of the world to remotely describe it
But in all seriousness, I recall studios other than Disney wanted a chance at bidding for SW, particularly FOX, yet Lucas didn't give anyone else a shot for whatever reason only for him to regret it and call Disney "white slavers". I have to wonder what was going on then and what would've happened if George had been more flexible and given others a chance to bid. If FOX had won, how would things have turned out? Would they still have sold themselves to Disney? Would the movies be better or worse? Would we even have sequels? So many "ifs" that will never be. Also Disney still won't have the rights to release the original trilogy on Blu Ray until May 2020 due to FOX still holding rights over them, so I have wonder if that's why they keep trying to make elements that replace shit from the OT.
 
Well at least Katleen Kennedy cabn always go back to her old old job as A NIGHT CLUB DANCER when she's fired. That wasn't a joke by the way and it explains EVERYTHING
 
Well at least Katleen Kennedy cabn always go back to her old old job as A NIGHT CLUB DANCER when she's fired. That wasn't a joke by the way and it explains EVERYTHING
I remember reading something about that last night. Apparently she was one of the dancers in Temple of Doom rather than an actual dancer. Although most of her early life doesn't go into too much detail, especially her early career. When she started her career after college, she mostly got crap jobs, with the best she could get being a camera operator or assistant. It wasn't until Spielberg's film 1941 where she hit the big time, but only as Spielberg's assistant. Spielberg even admitted she was a terrible assistant but kept her on because of her "good ideas". She didn't even meet her more successful husband until after that so he couldn't have pulled strings for her. It all seems so fishy.

Edit: Although it wouldn't be the first time Spielberg "helped" someone he was getting "good ideas" from.
 
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I remember reading something about that last night. Apparently she was one of the dancers in Temple of Doom rather than an actual dancer. Although most of her early life doesn't go into too much detail, especially her early career. When she started her career after college, she mostly got crap jobs, with the best she could get being a camera operator or assistant. It wasn't until Spielberg's film 1941 where she hit the big time, but only as Spielberg's assistant. Spielberg even admitted she was a terrible assistant but kept her on because of her "good ideas". She didn't even meet her more successful husband until after that so he couldn't have pulled strings for her. It all seems so iffy.
Wow, a woman didn't work for her status. Color me shocked.
 
The whole thing about being "family friendly" is what really gets me. The thing about New Star Wars is that it's so cold and sterile, and there's no artistry, feeling, heroes, villains, or fun to be had.

The right mix of action-packed scenes and family-friendly aspects could work. In season five of the now-canon Clone Wars, we have an episode that features Jedi Initiates (students studying prior to being named and promoted as Padawans) on a retreat of sorts where they find their first lightsaber crystals so they can construct their first lightsaber. It was a bit refreshing to see something without battles, wars, and destruction for just one episode. More importantly, it gave us a look at what Jedi hopefuls do and study before they begin their more intense training with a master. I wouldn't want a whole season of this type of episode, mind you, but it was a nice touch that was worth putting the larger story line of constant battle on hold for about 20 minutes of screen time.

Unfortunately, Disney's idea of backstory is one that drowns people in unnecessary detail while offering nothing of substantial value in the process. I liken it to asking someone a yes/no question and receiving a five minute monologue in reply that does everything but answer the question.

I'm not sure what Disney was expecting when they spent four billion for this shit.

That's the $64000 question a lot of us have, methinks. With @GeneralFriendliness ' comment about other companies wanting to bid but not really having a fair shot, I have to wonder why George Lucas didn't want a company such as Fox taking over the franchise. It would certainly be difficult for them to sink it as much as Disney has so far. As I mentioned earlier, war is inherently violent. Watering war violence down in such a franchise takes away the very essence of it.

Look on the less dark side, if IX is really as much a shitshow as it seems to be, we'll get a good laugh out of the colorful chaos and butthurt that ensues while we can hope that the backlash will be enough to put this once beloved franchise to rest so we may forget the shitpile Disney has turned it into. I mean seriously, casting the guy from Dr. Who to play Palpatine and then have him use time travel. If 100% true, IX will be just one big chaotic shitpost (and Inverse has been partly right with their previous film leaks and spoilers) so if its really as bad as it seems, hell even I might watch it just to see this cinematic Hindenburg.

I'm likely watching Episode IX for no other reason than to see what kind of trash heap it turns out to be. I'll probably laugh all the way home if that turns out to be the case. It's hard to be mad or react negatively over something that turns out poorly when you expected nothing of it from the start.

The time travel thing is a huge head-scratcher and opens a big can of worms. It's bad enough Dave Filoni used it to save his precious Ahsoka from death at the hands of Vader. Now, I see it as a slippery slope that could be used to erase or otherwise undo other aspects of existing canon seen as (boy, I hate using SJW buzzwords) problematic by Disney or Kathleen Kennedy as compared to their own vision of the franchise moving forward. In effect, this now makes it canon to change pre-existing canon.

Finally, the Dianoga in ANH being portrayed as some sort of kindred spirit that's the in-universe equivalent of John the Baptist was one heck of a wow thing to read about here. Way to take a rightfully-feared creature and turn it into a laughing stock of a joke. :heart-empty:

Edits for clarity and to fix typos.
 
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Always happy to assist.
It's a weird sort of treasure, because if I'm remembering correctly they were signed off by Lucas and so are technically official cannon, but have some more interesting elements of back story that never made it into the film, like what Leia was doing before her ship got attacked, more back story for Tarkin, etc, and all from the original script/story ideas. As for Lucas's official involvement, I don't know, but it's been buried as far as being able to buy it as an official Star wars property.

I've been nostalgic for the original trilogy lately, especially as Disney and Hollywood seem to have their hearts set on destroying the franchise.
 
Fuck Palpatine, for me what exists is Ian McDiarmid, if some other random no-namer take his hole I'm going to me so fucking mad.

Episode IX has a big chance to become the shitshow of the century. I can't miss that. May God give me at least one more year of life.
 
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