🎨 Artcow WogglebugLoveProductions / Cynthia Hanson / Cherie Anne Hapney - One Womanchild's Fruitless Quest to Make Her Cockroach Husbando a Household Name

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What is the Wogglebug's sexual orientation?


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After glancing through the thread and some of the links, I've come to the conclusion that WobblebugLoveProductions is the second most autistic thing I have ever seen in the 12 years I have been using the internet.

The most autistic thing I have ever seen on the internet was Bludshot the Hedgehog
 
I've listened to all but the last two of The Knife's readings (who is a brave and fearless forum member who should be saluted for their great sacrifice of sanity in the name of the forum) and I'm reeealy tempted to write a chapter by chapter parody of Mr. Wogglebutt and Frogman something something Autism but I'm quite certain it would drive me utterly mad.
 
Seriously, Wogglebug would actually be less creepy if he were 50 feet tall and could breathe fire.

I should write a story about that.
 
https://youtube.com/watch?v=dxYxQIJ8lGg
at 3:26, while woggie is crying in jail:

"I can't help it, I'm so lonely in here. I'd much rather be in the arms of those two sweet little girls!"
Wiffle ball: "But us insects have feelings, too! Don't you know that? Won't you please let me out?"
Cop: "I can't. It's my duty to see that you're kept in here."
*Wiffle ball then gives up like a pussy and cries*

Wiffle ball doesn't have any sort of dignity. He cries and pouts when he doesn't get his way. Oh hey! I know who that sounds like!
Cynthia
 
Hey guys....
Guess what just came out four days ago?

The Wogglebug's Hidden Truth Behind the History of Oz: The Wogglebug's secrets and tragedy revealed after concealed for a century

Are you excited yet? Good! Unfortunately, your wallet won't be. She wants $43.23 of your hard earned money for 292 pages of Wogglebug fun.
Here's the cover:
jPLlYef.jpg
 
Hey guys....
Guess what just came out four days ago?

The Wogglebug's Hidden Truth Behind the History of Oz: The Wogglebug's secrets and tragedy revealed after concealed for a century

Are you excited yet? Good! Unfortunately, your wallet won't be. She wants $43.23 of your hard earned money for 292 pages of Wogglebug fun.
Here's the cover:
jPLlYef.jpg

THIS IS IT. THIS IS THE BOOK WHERE WE FIND OUT THE WOGGLEBUG WAS SODOMIZED IN THE BARN FROM TWISTER

But seriously, $43.23? Where did she hit on that exact number? Is this her plan to pay for the massive voice-acting bills she's racked up?

I almost, almost, want to buy this, read it overnight, then return it.
 
So I figured I'd...tinker with Woggy's Amazon biography.

ORIGINAL VERSION:

Cynthia Hanson is the Founder and Owner of her WogglebugLove Productions. In addition to self-publishing her personal brand of picture books and novels she also writes screenplays and produces movies of both short and feature lengths starring the Wogglebug. Favoring the genres of Family, Fantasy, and Sci-Fi. Her first movie is set for a release in late 2014 on DVD and the second one in late 2015.

She aspires to build a franchise around him which is mostly separated from the Oz fandom so that he may at long last stand out on his own and take a stand in the spotlight as he was always meant to do. She is avidly dedicated to renewing the fame and popularity of Mr. H.M. Wogglebug T.E. for the modern world, and to make him a positive role model for children of the the future. Unlike so many others, she does not believe the Wogglebug is not worthy of being such.

She additionally enjoys writing and producing various kinds of books and films which advocate the movement of American secularism. She is a proud and outspoken atheist who supports the Richard Dawkins Foundation for Reason and Science.

MY VERSION:

"Cynthia Hanson is the Founder and Owner of her WogglebugLove Productions/BugFucker Productions. In addition to self-publishing her personal brand of children's/pornographic picture books and novels she also writes screenplays and produces movies of both short and feature lengths starring the Wogglebug. Favoring the genres of Family/Erotic Comedy, Fantasy, and Sci-Fi. Her first movie is set for a release in late 2014 on DVD and the second one in late 2015. Both movies star the Wogglebug as a kind-hearted bug/mutated flasher that horrifies other people with his grotesque appearance/nudity, much to the amusement/secret sexual pleasure of whatever character Cynthia voices."

"She aspires to renew the fame and popularity of Wogglebug as a role model/sexual deviant in the modern world by disguising him as a positive role model for children/horny thing that humps things that come across his way. Unlike many others, she wants H.M. Wogglebug T.E. to give those less fortunate/Cynthia a hopeful ending/great sex pounding."

"She additionally enjoys writing and producing various kinds of books and films which advocate the movement of American secularism - wait, she's a secularist?!? Huh. Small world. She is a proud and outspoken atheist who supports the Richard Dawkins Foundation for Reason and Science, and will obsessively track down those that dare wrong her atheist mindset. Just look at that Christian chick she bared a grudge with, she had it fucking coming!"

"Her next book is "I Came for Wogglebug", which is slated to be released in late 2015/early 2016."
 
Hey guys....
Guess what just came out four days ago?

The Wogglebug's Hidden Truth Behind the History of Oz: The Wogglebug's secrets and tragedy revealed after concealed for a century

Are you excited yet? Good! Unfortunately, your wallet won't be. She wants $43.23 of your hard earned money for 292 pages of Wogglebug fun.
Here's the cover:
jPLlYef.jpg
I think that during WBL's brief visit to us she said that her publisher sets the price for the books. Either the publisher does this by dividing the money they want to earn by the number of friends/relatives/enablers they think their delusional authors will sell to (a handful, in WBL's case); or they studied marketing at the Universidad de Carlos Chantor.
 
Are you excited yet? Good! Unfortunately, your wallet won't be. She wants $43.23 of your hard earned money for 292 pages of Wogglebug fun.

Jeez. There's overpriced self-published books... and then there's this.

It's a bit frustrating that she hides behind the "WogglebugLove Productions" "publishing company", because it'd be interesting to know what her actual production costs are and how they reflect on the book price. She probably wants to recoup some of the illustration costs, but it's not that easy to check the printing costs. My guess it's probably Amazon's own self-publishing service though, which would put it fairly in the "a bit costly but not that costly" category.
 
Here's what I'm curious about (well, one of the things, anyway): how is she funding all of these "creative endeavors?" Not via Kickstarter, that's for sure. Does she have a day job?
 
Jeez. There's overpriced self-published books... and then there's this.

It's a bit frustrating that she hides behind the "WogglebugLove Productions" "publishing company", because it'd be interesting to know what her actual production costs are and how they reflect on the book price. She probably wants to recoup some of the illustration costs, but it's not that easy to check the printing costs. My guess it's probably Amazon's own self-publishing service though, which would put it fairly in the "a bit costly but not that costly" category.


She's going through CreateSpace. The placeholder cover she's using is a piece of royalty-free art that CreateSpace offer their authors. It's considered really tacky to use those generated covers rather than create your own, which is what I'm assuming she means by "it'll be available when the illustrations are ready." She may be hoping for at least a couple of sales to cover the illustrator costs, at which time she'll change the cover--and I guess the people who bought the first version are SOL, because I doubt she offers refunds.

CreateSpace pricing is kinda complicated and I've personally never printed through them, but from the little I know of the system, you can set your price as literally anything. CreateSpace takes a percentage of the list price for distribution (40% standard, but up to 60% for their widest distribution) and may charge a per-page fee for longer books (which sounds like highway robbery but actually works out to a fraction of a penny per page).

Upshot is that publishing a 292-page work through CreateSpace and opting for the widest distribution, there's a certain point above which you have to set your price or else you'd actually end up owing money per sale--but even then, you can set your book for a pretty reasonable price ($11-12) and come out okay. You'd end up making only five cents a book, but at the end of the day, you don't owe anyone anything. (and if you don't opt for wide distribution, you'd end up with about $5 pure profit per sale). No one's getting rich doing this, but it's not a scam. Technically it's not even a vanity press, although it's probably only a few steps above it.

What it sounds like is that she's got her heart set on making the full list-price as a royalty. In other words, WoggleBitch wants $15 per book, and she will make $15 per book, no matter how it has to happen. So she set the price ridiculously high in order to compensate for that because she doesn't understand how royalties work or why someone gets paid before she does.

Again, this is all academic since no one will ever buy this book.

However, if someone wants to offer to draw me some cover art, you may be able to buy my upcoming Kindle ebook Naked Came the Wogglebug, a hardcore bugfuck fest of forbidden interspecies passions.
 
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