Shitty Etsy Products

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Are these fucking cut-off tits hung up on a swingset to dry?

That's some Patrick Bateman shit. Why would you ever buy this.

oh
oh i missed that one, somehow
is it...suppose to be like...for breast cancer victims...? but then most i know of actually feel "lesser" if they get mastectomies so...i'm baffled

il_570xN.997094104_ag4z.jpg


this is apparently a "baby blabber". it's marked for "baby showers", but the description specifically says to use it for announcing to your SO that you're preggo. so you get the instant download for 7 bucks, print it out, stick the thing you peed on overtop the wand part, and...display it over a fireplace...?

P E N C I L S W I T H Q U O T E S and also black and white digital nerd art

il_570xN.1260563194_lwme.jpg


this listing is specifically for the veritaserum, which is a "thick crystal clear solution"
aka probably dumped glycerin into a bottle and slapped a label on, charged 7.50 (down from 10) gg
some of the potions they make are cool looking but stuff like the floo powder or simple color changed liquid, i don't understand why you wouldn't just make it yourself

not shit per se, but this person has a first edition/first print of the sorcerer's stone for 1.6k, and apparently two people have it in their cart.

il_570xN.1233352548_8dun.jpg

il_570xN.1167263702_92xc.jpg

il_570xN.1348198391_bxqi.jpg


unfortunate art styles
 
oh
oh i missed that one, somehow
is it...suppose to be like...for breast cancer victims...? but then most i know of actually feel "lesser" if they get mastectomies so...i'm baffled

il_570xN.997094104_ag4z.jpg


this is apparently a "baby blabber". it's marked for "baby showers", but the description specifically says to use it for announcing to your SO that you're preggo. so you get the instant download for 7 bucks, print it out, stick the thing you peed on overtop the wand part, and...display it over a fireplace...?

P E N C I L S W I T H Q U O T E S and also black and white digital nerd art

il_570xN.1260563194_lwme.jpg


this listing is specifically for the veritaserum, which is a "thick crystal clear solution"
aka probably dumped glycerin into a bottle and slapped a label on, charged 7.50 (down from 10) gg
some of the potions they make are cool looking but stuff like the floo powder or simple color changed liquid, i don't understand why you wouldn't just make it yourself

not shit per se, but this person has a first edition/first print of the sorcerer's stone for 1.6k, and apparently two people have it in their cart.

il_570xN.1233352548_8dun.jpg

il_570xN.1167263702_92xc.jpg

il_570xN.1348198391_bxqi.jpg


unfortunate art styles
Why do people not understand that Harry Potter isn't fucking real
 
not shit per se, but this person has a first edition/first print of the sorcerer's stone for 1.6k, and apparently two people have it in their cart.

Eh. As depressing as it is that somebody has 1.6k to spend on a single book, this isn't even close to what first edition, first print run of The Philosopher's Stone can go for. What really concerns me is that they're selling this on etsy. I sincerely doubt that etsy have done anything to verify this is real, or that they would even know how to go about that. This person could could quite easily be running a scam and I doubt a buyer would get much help from etsy if they are.

il_570xN.997094104_ag4z.jpg


this is apparently a "baby blabber". it's marked for "baby showers", but the description specifically says to use it for announcing to your SO that you're preggo. so you get the instant download for 7 bucks, print it out, stick the thing you peed on overtop the wand part, and...display it over a fireplace...?

Anybody who needs this to announce a pregnancy should not be reproducing.

Harry Potter themed weddings are arguably more cringey than Star Wars or Avengers themed ones because you're also larping school children as well as autistic fantasy.

Eh. I've seen some pretty tasteful Harry Potter themed weddings, but it's usually the ones where it's a minor stylistic influence rather than taking over the wedding. Getting married in a castle a having lights hung from the ceiling to resemble the great hall is one thing, getting married in robes and putting "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good" in your vows is another. Anyone who does the latter should not be getting married.
 
I'm pretty sure that selling a book is against Etsy TOS unless you made it. Its supposed to be a handicrafts marketplace, not Quirky eBay

If they cared about that, there wouldn't be so much clipart cafepress shit there.

"Handmade on Etsy is a spectrum. On one end, we have makers-- sellers who are literally making their items with their own hands (or tools). On the other end, we have designers-- sellers who design their items, but rely entirely on production partners to help physically produce them. Many handmade sellers fall in the middle of the spectrum because they are both making and designing their items. Regardless of where you fall on this spectrum, you must be transparent about who is helping you and how your items are being made. You, the seller, must be making and/or designing your handmade items. Reselling is prohibited. Read more below about your obligations as a handmade seller." - Handmade Policy

so cafepress shit seems to be okay
retarded, because i've only ever seen official art/bad fanart used for cafepress items, but "legal"
unless it's human remains tho they don't seem to care much tbh (except for teeth and hair apparently, that's...interesting...i guess because you don't have to kill someone to obtain that)
but regardless, etsy's a dumb place to sell books since no one is looking for books on etsy

also, this was interesting to me, i don't think i've ever seen a policy like this on other sites

"More Details:
We do not allow Items or listings that promote, support or glorify acts of violence or harm towards self or others, including credible threats of harm or violence towards self or others.

The following items are not allowed on Etsy:

  1. Items that glorify human suffering or tragedies, including items that commemorate or honor serial killers
  2. Items that attempt to exploit natural disasters or human tragedies
  3. Items that encourage, glorify, or celebrate acts of violence against individuals or groups
  4. Items that encourage self-mutilation, starvation, or other self-harm" - Prohibited Items Policy
 
also, this was interesting to me, i don't think i've ever seen a policy like this on other sites

"More Details:
We do not allow Items or listings that promote, support or glorify acts of violence or harm towards self or others, including credible threats of harm or violence towards self or others.

The following items are not allowed on Etsy:

  1. Items that glorify human suffering or tragedies, including items that commemorate or honor serial killers
  2. Items that attempt to exploit natural disasters or human tragedies
  3. Items that encourage, glorify, or celebrate acts of violence against individuals or groups
  4. Items that encourage self-mutilation, starvation, or other self-harm" - Prohibited Items Policy
you know how after any tragedy kids on deviantart are making autistic art with cartoon characters? back on the early days of etsy there were a lot of people selling shit like that
for a long time the only archived page of regretsy was the 9/11 one, might be gone now but if i find it i'll link it
 
you know how after any tragedy kids on deviantart are making autistic art with cartoon characters? back on the early days of etsy there were a lot of people selling shit like that
for a long time the only archived page of regretsy was the 9/11 one, might be gone now but if i find it i'll link it

i figured, it just seems weird for etsy to care about that
most of the time it seems that kind of artwork is made out of an immature sort of patriotism or attempt to support the cause, not maliciousness
 
For those wondering, you're totally allowed to sell non-handmade books on Etsy, as long as they are vintage (20 years old or more). People tend to forget that Etsy isn't just a place to sell shitty homemade crafts, it's also a vintage marketplace.
 
Let's be real, all themed weddings are fucking terrible.
Any time I see a picture or someone talking about their smug nerd wedding where everyone wore Converse instead of real shoes, had a theme revolving around some nerd franchise (or steampunk, not sure which is worse), and they played board games instead of dancing because they don't like dancing, I die a little inside.
 
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I found this while looking for more of those super expensive yet cute Blythe diorama travel cases with the A++ craftsmanship and this face will haunt my nightmares.
 
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