💪 Tough Guys Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

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Is it really that easy to just slap some fuck-ugly addition onto the exterior of your building in Burgerland? I can't imagine Patrick has the social skills to make it through an interaction with somebody long enough to get his papers and permits in order unless he is first able to grill them rigorously about their political opinions and voting record. At least he is not endangering anybody other than himself and maybe Nikki with this - and frankly, if it can hold Patrick's weight it can probably hold almost anyone else's weight as well.
 
Entomologist said:
At least he is not endangering anybody other than himself and maybe Nikki with this - and frankly, if it can hold Patrick's weight it can probably hold almost anyone else's weight as well.
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I'd guess that if he ever leans on that rail, the hamplanet impact event is going to be a problem for a lot of people.

Probably make Tunguska look like a fart in a breeze.
 
I always worry that he’ll stop posting updates on the balcony to stop giving ammo to the haters but he’s definitely one of those people who only cares to do something if they can get patted on the back online for doing it.
 
I'm kind of impressed he managed to successfully locate those 4x4 post anchors at Home Depot. See the problem with that, sweetie, is those are meant to be used with, like... concrete studs lol. I hope Pat follows the directions exactly and swiss cheeses his awning with a bunch of 3/8" x 4" deep holes.
 
Judge Holden said:
Porktits is now pretending he has some unspecified "arrangement" to support Pringles Can Jon's daughter
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Piggy would lie about you finally getting all up in his guts as it happened and with witnesses.

"No, child. I'm not *umph!* getting anally raped by a small, hyperactive British man. Those are your *squeal!* delusions."

"Patrick, we're literally recording it happening as we speak."

"You *ungh!* died doing this."
SkepticAgentMan said:
I get she is your cow du jour but can you just make her a thread and stop shitting up this one with what is essentially your off-topic seething at some fat white dangerhair? Seems like you've certainly found the content for one.
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Given how incredibly obsessed he is with hating Nick Rekieta and Aaron Imholte for taking away his chances to have a homosexual relationship with Nick, I'd say he's not letting this go anytime soon.
Spaced Outside Cargo said:
I always worry that he’ll stop posting updates on the balcony to stop giving ammo to the haters but he’s definitely one of those people who only cares to do something if they can get patted on the back online for doing it.
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You might as well worry that Patrick will get injured competing in an Ironman Triathlon or get too busy publishing bestseller after bestseller with how likely any of these things are to occur.
 
Drawing based from ol' Blob the Builder in pixels. Ominously sized. Very disrespectful.
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Also, Brother Bernie is at it again.
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rusty shackleford 1 said:
I think that’s a big part of his cope about being a tough guy. Pat thinks it’s manly and brave to live right in the middle of niggers, those red districts couldn’t handle being mugged at chubby’s so they huddle among themselves and hide from diversity, child. White people in good neighborhoods are too scared but Pat has seen the world in Milwaukee.

check out these railing braces secured by a composite deck board :story:
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Excellent porskmanship.
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My God, the brackets for those railings are sketchy AF. I'm not a carpenter, but that seems to be putting an awful lot of faith in the first 3 in of a 4x4 and 4 5/16" screws?
 
Rick's handyman projects remind me of the glory days of the Tranch. Those troons would get drunk and or high and come up with a stupid idea. They'd immediately jump in with both feet and start spending money and doing stuff they didn't understand. They just, time after time, assumed that they already knew what they were doing. After a period, they'd never mention it again and start another round of e-begging.

The roof is still angled. The railing bases are screwed into who knows what. Maybe I'm wrong, but it looks like the bases would be strongest from the sides, not the direction of likely impact. Considering the incline, almost certain direction of impact. Imagine a drunk, fat, Rick wobbling around on the tilted decking. Imagine just doing this to your house and not even checking into it. That video a few pages back really lays it out. Doing it the right way is complicated and expensive. They also pointed out how much more difficult it is to pull off in Northern climates. I hope the inspectors wait until he's done to tell him it all has to go. Enjoy paying to have it fixed, stupid.
 
rusty shackleford 1 said:
check out these railing braces secured by a composite deck board :story:
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When I first saw his balcony idea I knew in my heart of hearts that this is exactly how he would fasten the railings.
Entomologist said:
Is it really that easy to just slap some fuck-ugly addition onto the exterior of your building in Burgerland?
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No. Not in a city. In the countryside? Sure. He's as ignorant as he is fat. There's all kinds of rules for balconies.
Summer of George said:
I'm kind of impressed he managed to successfully locate those 4x4 post anchors at Home Depot. See the problem with that, sweetie, is those are meant to be used with, like... concrete studs lol.
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He's using construction screws and you know it.

Funny thing is, the 4x4 turns into a pretty good lever at that length. More than enough to shear the screws or even pull out the deck board its attached to.
 
SwiftBucks said:
When I first saw his balcony idea I knew in my heart of hearts that this is exactly how he would fasten the railings.

No. Not in a city. In the countryside? Sure. He's as ignorant as he is fat. There's all kinds of rules for balconies.

He's using construction screws and you know it.

Funny thing is, the 4x4 turns into a pretty good lever at that length. More than enough to shear the screws or even pull out the deck board its attached to.
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Zero lateral strength, entirely reliant on hardware (what the fuck is he screwing into? tar paper? did he buy SS screws?). That balcony is a deathtrap. A framed barrier, on top of a base plate with a toeboard, is the solution.

Building a pig stall, 1 story in the air guarantees future funi
 
That pitch looks more than 5° to me. Also agree with whomever said he's screwing into tar paper - if not, then the decking under it. He hasn't thought about rain or snow at all.

I too hope the city lets him 'finish' before bringing the hammer down (ha), and then makes him pay to have it all repaired before he can sell or even rent it out anymore. Dumb fucker is going to have water between his roof decking and the exterior of the house at the very least. Christ, dude. There are way better ways to ruin a house.
 
And this is why Pat is a great cow. You see him building a shitty balcony and assume his fat ass will fall through it, but actually he's going to drunkenly break through the shoddily build hand rail and fall off the side.

He subverts expectations
 
Ive shown this to a friend in the building trades and he said that the posts have to be integral to the frame on a balcony like that. And what Rick's doing is extremely dangerous. He's very concerned about his use of that modular mounting system combined with the pitch and sketchy railings, that shit is going to want to start creeping right off the fucking roof with a few temperature cycles
 
Jesus, who was a carpenter, wept.

And when the railing goes, and it will, it'll take a chunk of the sheathing underneath. He did not anchor those things into anything solid. I bet he did not even line them up with the columns on the porch, so it's going to look sketchy AF, which it is good because it is sketchy AF.

Nikki, in an SSRI and booze induced haze is going over or through that railing. Piggy will make sure of that. You know he's serious about it when he has the tree removed, since it could theoretically break her fall. This is the sort of murder a very stupid person might plan. All the settlement moneys will be "mine, mine, mine!" squealed the piggy all the way home from the funeral.

OR... Evil Porcine genius is building it as a booby trap to teach a lesson to the MPD officers who show up at his ha' hovel.
 
The Fatio is constructed as such:
The awning. It looks substantial. It looks like 2x6 joists held up by 4 4x4 posts, with an overhanging sloped 2x4 roof (pic 1). Presumably 1/2" plywood decking but it could be thinner 3/8". Rolled roofing.
Now Rick comes in.
Deck board clips screwed through the rolled roof into the 1/2" decking.
Composite deck boards installed.
Now it gets interesting.
4x4 post supports fixed with 4 lag bolts. The 2 outside lag bolts are screwed through the composite deck boards, through the 1/2" plywood decking, and at least mostly into the 2x4 toe board long ways. The 2 inside lag bolts, which will be under high tension when the railing is leaned on, are screwed through the deck board (which is only clipped on) and into the 1/2 plywood decking. Obviously railing posts fixed to 1/2" plywood is not ideal. Because the roof is sloped, and the slope was not compensated for before mounting the post supports, the top of the post (and therefor the railing) will overhang the post's base toward the lawn, greatly increasing the leverage attempting to pull the 2 inside lag bolts out of the 1/2" decking.
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