💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Uber driver reviewer]

We have Liquid Jack/Rob but never forget we also have Chef John, basically the Gallant to fatso's Goofus, who is equally fat, older middle aged and bald yet has made a fantastic YouTube cooking career out of making things both sophisticated and basic enough to appeal to Jack, doing so through everything Jack has never possessed: humility, genuineness, easy charisma and, oh, skill. He's basically the Eddie Vedder of your Fat Jack betters.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=0zkiNjCUjGA

Everything that we’ve made from chef John recipes has been an absolute hit in our household. Even super simple things like his Amish beef and noodles is above and beyond how good it should be.


Also, besides liquid Jack, there is Jack’s long lost half brother Big Jim (the mailman had some rizz)

 

[a terminal posture]

Jack tests the Cosori against a CHEEP CHINISIUM BRAND air frier by frying up some Hot Pockets(TM) and they ended up exactly the same. He then makes a nacho casserole. Cosori did not get their yuan's worth.

 

[p1138]

Heat rises, so the simple answer is "yes". Warm air is less dense than cooler air. That's also why you'll see houses that have a 2 storey great room will also have a ceiling fan in it. That's to mix the air currents and push the heat back down in winter, and to draw hot air up in the summer.

Yeah but Fatty doesn't have vaulted ceilings everywhere(I don't even think the ceiling in his living room is particularly high). His giant roof just amounts to an unnecessarily huge attic.

While you can fit an HVAC air handler up there, even a water heater(I think it's unnecessary and insane but this is Fatty so whatever), and a whole house fan to ventilate it, it's still unnecessarily large. It isn't like Fatty himself needs to walk around up there, and Tammy isn't going to be climbing into an attic either(he doesn't seem to have a regular staircase anywhere that I've seen, so it's likely a drop down ladder/staircase somewhere). I guess he could have Junior hauling shit up there to store his useless crap he buys all the time?

 

[LaughJoke2.0]

https://youtube.com/watch?v=lH6WmdHB8mE
Jack tests the Cosori against a CHEEP CHINISIUM BRAND air frier by frying up some Hot Pockets(TM) and they ended up exactly the same. He then makes a nacho casserole. Cosori did not get their yuan's worth.

Dear God does that look disgusting.

 

[the khat quaffer]

https://youtube.com/watch?v=lH6WmdHB8mE
Jack tests the Cosori against a CHEEP CHINISIUM BRAND air frier by frying up some Hot Pockets(TM) and they ended up exactly the same. He then makes a nacho casserole. Cosori did not get their yuan's worth.

Every time I see Jackie handling knives I get a little nervous. Thankfully it's not often. Should he be using anything sharp? There was a fella in Wales who ended up killing himself with a knife. He had had a stroke as well. One stroke.

Spoiler: video + NYpost article link

^ timestamped

https://nypost.com/2024/09/18/world-news/loner-stabbed-himself-to-death-trying-to-separate-two-frozen-burgers-with-a-knife/

2:30 and of course he has to tongue fuck both of them. they're fucking hot pockets jack. I know they're not your first. I know you known what they taste like (garbage). I know you were given them as a kid to use as a pacifier.

3:30 holy shit, Jack actually took stuff out of his kitchen toys! he's notorious for overloading into crock pots, pans, pots to the point there's no way everything would cook evenly. *

3:50 more proof he's mad at James Makinson's recent video. He complains about people saying he doesn't wash his hands. I wonder why people would say that.

* Never mind he just overloaded the fuck out of it with cheese, toppings, and MOAR CHEESE.

"This is nachos for two" yeah two fat fuck land monsters. a pre-appetizer no doubt

6:00 Talking with his mouth full. He sounds the same as when he talks normally. Stop talking with your mouth full you stupid fucking sentient ball of crisco.

6/10 funny but so very stupid

edit: did he get sponsored?? he half-assedly shouts out Cosori in the last like 2 seconds and even has them as a link in hid description. Chris-chan gave a better shoutout in his forgiveness blessing.

 

[Shartavius]

I like the identical BURNT hot pockets and the cum towel he has over his shoulder for the last half of the video...presumably so people won't accuse him of not washing his hands(?!). My first assumption was that it was a breastfeeding tool or sling meant to catch that arm in case it suddenly drops off like rotted fruit.

 

[Adamska]

https://youtube.com/watch?v=lH6WmdHB8mE
Jack tests the Cosori against a CHEEP CHINISIUM BRAND air frier by frying up some Hot Pockets(TM) and they ended up exactly the same. He then makes a nacho casserole. Cosori did not get their yuan's worth.

This is the sort of thing that I would look at in violent disgust after I created it, and then I would just throw it out. There's just something with the preponderance of black beans in the arrangement that it is in that is intrinsically repulsive.

 

[Naproxen Sodium]

Dear God does that look disgusting.

PERFECT FOR MOTHER'S DAY

 

[ZipDisk]

White giving his stars back was a great way to not fuck his restaurants. People would still go for the wow factor, but now they're no longer under the tire bullshit.

Rob never trolls outright, and the people who poke should take a page. Jim Traynor will never be said by Rob. And then he'll prove me wrong.

I used to watch people burn out in jack's lives like a bug zapper, the slightest bit of restraint was too much for those jackholes.

White training under blanc is amusing though.


I will say Rob has non troll poked jack, and the fact he got pissed off about it again is unsurprising.

Rob is literally the only "friend" Jack has outside of retards, so him playing "Big britches watch yoself" is incredibly lame.

The man has literally pushed the biggest bitch in TN to "DO BETTER". Now has Jack done better? No.

I will say it introduces an angle I don't like.

If Rob was going to legitimately get caught, it would be over his roulette series, which is what, two years back? Instead it will be jack with a bad burber lodged in his gut.

SAVE US PCLM!

I found "Lazy Man" in an old war document and was unpleasantly reminded that Jack exists. I don't even remember the context. I just remembered I love the podcast and hate the fat guy.

 

[the khat quaffer]

PERFECT FOR MOTHER'S DAY

I made this for my mom and she told me I was both an accident and adopted (somehow). And that she should have gotten a pair of chinese babies instead.

 

[Uber driver reviewer]

Yeah but Fatty doesn't have vaulted ceilings everywhere(I don't even think the ceiling in his living room is particularly high). His giant roof just amounts to an unnecessarily huge attic.

While you can fit an HVAC air handler up there, even a water heater(I think it's unnecessary and insane but this is Fatty so whatever), and a whole house fan to ventilate it, it's still unnecessarily large. It isn't like Fatty himself needs to walk around up there, and Tammy isn't going to be climbing into an attic either(he doesn't seem to have a regular staircase anywhere that I've seen, so it's likely a drop down ladder/staircase somewhere). I guess he could have Junior hauling shit up there to store his useless crap he buys all the time?

I’ve tried to pull the building permit files but Hendersuxville’s municipal gov website is gay and makes you sign up for an account. I’ll eventually do it.

While the house was being built, Jack did mention that there was to be a room up there. I forget the function. It’s probably to comply with tax credits for an ADU. At least that was the leading theory at the time.

Iirc Jack had alluded to a prayer (secret eating) room, or bedroom. That with the second kitchen and separate entrances had pointed to an Accessory Dwelling Unit, which can be used for tax credits and for housing Janette / Tonya or future elderly Quarolyn (as Donn has had worsening eye cancer).

It’s probably just chinesium storage now. Maybe a daybed for Tammy and Janette (or chomo Tonya) to romp around on.

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

k gaiz

 

[p1138]

https://youtube.com/watch?v=lH6WmdHB8mE
Jack tests the Cosori against a CHEEP CHINISIUM BRAND air frier by frying up some Hot Pockets(TM) and they ended up exactly the same. He then makes a nacho casserole. Cosori did not get their yuan's worth.

I hadn't actually watched this yet...

His hotpocket comparison. I didn't realize at first he was making 4 instead of 2. What a fucking fatass.

"nawtchos for two" more like 4. I'm surprised he didn't use both airfryers to make a "dubba batch" of nachos. I'm also sure Cosori(also chinesium) was thankful for Fatty to show that it can melt cheese.

I’ve tried to pull the building permit files but Hendersuxville’s municipal gov website is gay and makes you sign up for an account. I’ll eventually do it.

While the house was being built, Jack did mention that there was to be a room up there. I forget the function. It’s probably to comply with tax credits for an ADU. At least that was the leading theory at the time.

Iirc Jack had alluded to a prayer (secret eating) room, or bedroom. That with the second kitchen and separate entrances had pointed to an Accessory Dwelling Unit, which can be used for tax credits and for housing Janette / Tonya or future elderly Quarolyn (as Donn has had worsening eye cancer).

It’s probably just chinesium storage now. Maybe a daybed for Tammy and Janette (or chomo Tonya) to romp around on.

Hell, that's effectively what the whole house is, just on a neighboring lot with Junior's family living in the original one. But yeah, it's entirely possible that Quarolyn had them build a duplex of sorts and we just haven't see a staircase that Fatty would never use. He does claim it's a MIL suite(which would explain the 2nd laundry, kitchen, extra bathroom and so on) but that doesn't explain the upstairs and you can see in his tour video his ceilings aren't that high.

edit: I never noticed initially how stupid his TV setup is at 1:00. It's not a real fireplace, just one of those shitty gas units at best, but for some reason that's 2' above the floor, with the mantle ending up 5' in the air(you can see how high it is compared to the door), and then the TV sitting on top of that.


TV placement above a fireplace can make sense when you've got older construction and just don't have another place to put the stupid thing if you don't want a 2nd wall tied up with it(like where a big huge media cabinet would have gone). But to have designed this in a recent construction home even if it is a pole-barn? Makes no fucking sense, but this is also the Scalfani family.

 

[Barsik]

Some more Jack xeets:



Gotta glaze the caretaker some more.



Jack has discovered the upcoming Odyssey movie is WOKE

I watched the video and it's of course just the "there's a pooner and a black lady" argument. The video even straight up implies that the black lady isn't the right pick because the character "was a beautiful woman" so therefore it can't be a black woman apparently lmao



Jack suddenly cares about the environment because AI bad (he uses it daily)

And lastly he added his Devil Wears Prada 2 movie review under the wrong movie on Letterboxd because he's a retard

 

[the khat quaffer]

Iirc Jack had alluded to a prayer (secret eating) room, or bedroom

one of those muslim prayer rooms

where women aren't allowed and the men bend over and-- nvm

Some more Jack xeets:

View attachment 8989831View attachment 8989826

Gotta glaze the caretaker some more.

He didn't capitalize "You" when referring to our goddamighty. That's not very Christian-like of you, Jack. Your home will surely be the lake of (air-fried) fire.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

Jack suddenly cares about the environment because AI bad (he uses it daily)

Not to mention he shills it and simps for the people who are the people behind generative AI

Jack is by very definition part of the problem

 

[Tiresome]

Some more Jack xeets:

That same damned picture he trots out every single time, as if it's the only posed photo Hammo allows to be released on his social media, although I expect Jack simply doesn't keep a lot of pictures of BEST WIFE POSSIBLE around and just goes back to that one every time because he's a retard. Despite the fact that it's many years old and probably as publicly-composed as her looks get, Tam still looks like the most plain white-trash hausfrau possible.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

That same damned picture he trots out every single time, as if it's the only posed photo Hammo allows to be released on his social media, although I expect Jack simply doesn't keep a lot of pictures of BEST WIFE POSSIBLE around and just goes back to that one every time because he's a retard. Despite the fact that it's many years old and probably as publicly-composed as her looks get, Tam still looks like the most plain white-trash hausfrau possible.

Yeah and Hammy is as big of a piece of shit as fatty is. Although at least she works, can walk and doesn't pretend to be on a carnivore diet

 

[the khat quaffer]

That same damned picture he trots out every single time, as if it's the only posed photo Hammo allows to be released on his social media, although I expect Jack simply doesn't keep a lot of pictures of BEST WIFE POSSIBLE around and just goes back to that one every time because he's a retard. Despite the fact that it's many years old and probably as publicly-composed as her looks get, Tam still looks like the most plain white-trash hausfrau possible.

he keeps the goods to himself.



tammz has more crack than harlem

 

[AltisticRight]

https://youtube.com/watch?v=lH6WmdHB8mE
Jack tests the Cosori against a CHEEP CHINISIUM BRAND air frier by frying up some Hot Pockets(TM) and they ended up exactly the same. He then makes a nacho casserole. Cosori did not get their yuan's worth.

My God this looks like an open wound with black bugs crawling out.
How can you make slop nachos look so unappetising????