Umamusume: Pretty Derby - Horse fuckers and gacha addicts get sent to the glue factory

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Okay I keep seeing this shit pop up on my yt timeline, what is this


It's gotten to the point that I'm starting to get videos about the actual horses
Basically, it's a roguelite gacha game where you train race horses personified as anime girls. It's a lot of fun if you like semi-predictable roguelites, predictable in the way that the horse girl you choose to train is always the same from the start no matter if its your first or your 100th career run with that horse.
It's also surprisingly deep for a gacha game.
 
Okay I keep seeing this shit pop up on my yt timeline, what is this


It's gotten to the point that I'm starting to get videos about the actual horses
It's a Gacha Game that I joke was a psyop from the gambling industry to make younger generations care about horse racing, combined with a trainer game that manages to scratch the autism perfectly.

It also may or may not have Yakzua ties, considering the gambling industry, which has led to the usual suspects getting "take this down before the yakuza sees it" meme'd when they try their shit, which is honestly just funny.
 
Basically, it's a roguelite gacha game where you train race horses personified as anime girls. It's a lot of fun if you like semi-predictable roguelites, predictable in the way that the horse girl you choose to train is always the same from the start no matter if its your first or your 100th career run with that horse.
It's also surprisingly deep for a gacha game.
It's also incredibly generous for a gatcha game. My brother just got into it, and he asked me the percentages on pulls, and I looked it up and found that it was like 3% for the banner Umas or support cards. Apparently, that's really good for gatcha games. That's apparently a 26% chance on a ten pull to get the character you want. Which, mind you I could be wrong about, but still.
 
It's also incredibly generous for a gatcha game. My brother just got into it, and he asked me the percentages on pulls, and I looked it up and found that it was like 3% for the banner Umas or support cards. Apparently, that's really good for gatcha games. That's apparently a 26% chance on a ten pull to get the character you want. Which, mind you I could be wrong about, but still.
The 200 pity pull is nice too, and while I'm close to having maxed the more "common" gold trainees from regular 10-pulls (4*Tannhauser still eludes me, meanwhile I could have 2x5* Creek or Grass by now) it's rare for me to NOT have at least one uncommon when I pull for trainees. Same with support cards but I feel like I'm a lot less lucky with those.
I just wish that they would add more stuff to exchange clovers and other currencies, or get rid of some of the currencies.
But for a gacha it's shockingly generous. Maybe I've been hard conditioned by chinese gachas like Honkai Impact into accepting more predatory means, but CyGames actively makes me want to support them even if I can't make a huge difference against the big whales in PVP.
 
The 200 pity pull is nice too, and while I'm close to having maxed the more "common" gold trainees from regular 10-pulls (4*Tannhauser still eludes me, meanwhile I could have 2x5* Creek or Grass by now) it's rare for me to NOT have at least one uncommon when I pull for trainees. Same with support cards but I feel like I'm a lot less lucky with those.
I just wish that they would add more stuff to exchange clovers and other currencies, or get rid of some of the currencies.
But for a gacha it's shockingly generous. Maybe I've been hard conditioned by chinese gachas like Honkai Impact into accepting more predatory means, but CyGames actively makes me want to support them even if I can't make a huge difference against the big whales in PVP.
It also helps that there really aren't any "bad" umas. like yeah there are meta umas, but even some of the 1 stars you get like Goldship and a few others stay relevant for a very very long time. Like we're on CM 13 and look at the One and Two Star umas that are STILL Relevant even a year into the games life.

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Presented without comment

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I just realized something that it feels like most umas(from what we saw from the game/anime) have higher chance off being on the spectrum (Biya Hayahide?) or are directly ADHD incarnated (Bakushin/Goldship),which means there is not a low chance off Umas either doing Lowcow tier stuff,being a possible KF User or actually being pic related. Like imagine the idea off an Uma Groyper,PF or something more henious (O9A,764)
The possibilities are endless.

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Uma Groyper
>They're always talking about "No it's not the chestnuts, no it's not the URA, no it's not human females, ITS ACTUALLY REALLY COMPLICATED!" NO IT FUCKING ISNT!
>The URA is running society, Human females need to shut the fuck up, chesnuts have to be imprisoned (for the most part) AND WE WOULD LIVE IN PARADISE!
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>They're always talking about "No it's not the chestnuts, no it's not the URA, no it's not human females, ITS ACTUALLY REALLY COMPLICATED!" NO IT FUCKING ISNT!
>The URA is running society, Human females need to shut the fuck up, chesnuts have to be imprisoned (for the most part) AND WE WOULD LIVE IN PARADISE!
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>Umas and Human Females don´t age like wine they age like Milk
>Dating Male Trainers is GAY, having sex with male trainers is GAY and having sex with Umas/Female Trainers is GAY. And you know ,it´s really all GAY
 
>Umas and Human Females don´t age like wine they age like Milk
>Dating Male Trainers is GAY, having sex with male trainers is GAY and having sex with Umas/Female Trainers is GAY. And you know ,it´s really all GAY
>You know what you gotta do? You gotta find your trainer when he’s a young guy, around 16 and fuck him RAW, no condom, no anticonceptive, no abortion and fuck him GOOD so he can give you 5 kids
-Special fuentes, Umamusume First
 
I am not fond of MANT CMs but I knew ahead of time what to expect going into them. Grand Live can't come soon enough.
Next one in theory should be a little more forgiving for off meta comps at least, but that might just be the case since it seems you also need to hit a higher stam threshold and a gold recovery. 900 stam seems to be fine from what little whale testing rooms I've joined.
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Everyone in this game was a reincarnated race horse, and therefore a stallion if I'm getting this right, so are they all lesbians?
 
Everyone in this game was a reincarnated race horse, and therefore a stallion if I'm getting this right, so are they all lesbians?
Not every character was a stallion irl. If they have an earpiece on their right ear then their IRL counterpart was male, left ear means their IRL Counterpart is female.

Special Week IRL Was a stallion as an example
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Haru Urara was female IRL

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Uma's are players sexual. They flirt with you in-game, and they also flirt with each other, depending on the umas and their IRL relationships.
 
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>Umas and Human Females don´t age like wine they age like Milk
>Dating Male Trainers is GAY, having sex with male trainers is GAY and having sex with Umas/Female Trainers is GAY. And you know ,it´s really all GAY
This whole Groyper Special Week joke actually fits her really well because she’s also a closeted homo who hates Brown people lmaooo
Imagine the catboy cami date but it’s with Silence Suzuka lol
 
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Important change coming to the Champion’s Meeting. The Open League is now more permissive and will allow Umas up to A+. A great change in my opinion, I’m still regularly getting A+ Umas but I’d have to actively tank to get a B.
 
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