💪 Tough Guys Cyrax / Chance J F Wilkins / Cyraxx Nation / Cyraxx / SKXRFACE / DJ Shadowblayde - From The Hills Have Eyes, infected penis, Retarded Dwarf with RAGE. Plagiarist & Liar. Failed polymath, wigger, rapper, juggalo. Grandma abuser. 3rd generation pedophile-rapist. Stuck a stylus up his ass. Sent his dick pics to a pedo hunter. + his trolls

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100% - The fact that this vile THING exists is a true modern marvel. He is not only the world's most homely person, but also has a temper and a personality uglier than his bedbug-bitten exterior. He has the craziest trainwreck of a white trash family that's ever existed, that 1997 Springer couldn't script their background. All this before even touching his severe mental retardation and the horror that this mutant has caused in society.

And to top it all off, he manages to be THIS fascinating and yet unable to capitalize on it in any meaningful way. Someone (Marty?) said that it's like Cyraxx pisses gasoline and still can't figure out how to use that to make money, and it remains true to this day.
 
100% - The fact that this vile THING exists is a true modern marvel. He is not only the world's most homely person, but also has a temper and a personality uglier than his bedbug-bitten exterior. He has the craziest trainwreck of a white trash family that's ever existed, that 1997 Springer couldn't script their background. All this before even touching his severe mental retardation and the horror that this mutant has caused in society.
His immune system is what fascinates me. It shouldnt be physically possible for him to have gaping craters on his scalp for a decade and not get sepsis. What even the shit?
 
I've seen some rhetoric here about how Chance has "won", but keep the following in mind.

In order of line length because I'm an autist:

He stinks.
He's Cyraxx.
He's under 5ft.
He's hideously ugly.
He can't control his bowels.
His idolized stepfather hates him.
He has no chin, and is literally tardbalding.
He's unable to keep a toy for more than a year.
He caused a bus stop to have to move from his area.
Sally trusts him so little that she literally locks him up.

He lives in a fumigation chamber of constant bug spray.
He is physically surrounded by neighbors that abhor him.
He lives in constant fear that trolls are going to literally end his life.
His mother was chargrilled and the only family he has left hates him.

Security Jake and Eric Scrubbalo refuse to associate with him ever again.
Won't let himself be gay, which he clearly is, because he's also homophobic.
Everyone, for the rest of his life, will know exactly who he is and what he's done.
The only friends he ever has are people who think it's funny that he believes them.


Cyraxx hasn't won, he just hasn't killed himself yet, either he's going to when he realizes that all he has left in his life is ridicule and decay, or his fucked up eldritch maw will finally rot to the degree his skull turns soft and brown and it collapses in on itself.
Like I said, I might have just been setting my expectations too high, since my condition for Cyraxx to "lose" was to end up in prison for all his bullshit or homeless, and I'm still convinced that even if Sally karks it, Karen will take the goblin in since she'll feel she "owes it" to her bestie and her "special needs little boy".
 
I don't think Karen will take kindly when chase starts humping everyone and everything tekknight-style.

Even if he can control his degeneracy for a day, an adult who doesn't contribute to anything, has the personality of wasabi in your urethra and is a time bomb for trouble who will turn on you when you are at your weakest isn't that fun of a roommate
 
Amazing how this thread can exist when during the Goblin Drought, and we make do studying his past more and his physical appearance. Its like lore-diving on a Elder Scrolls game, there's alot there to look into, and even with no current updates there's still so much we can find.
It's what happens when your entire adult life is just being online. One would think Chris Chan would have been the greatest warning not to post everything about yourself online, but Chance took it as a guide.

His loss and our gain.
 
Like I said, I might have just been setting my expectations too high, since my condition for Cyraxx to "lose" was to end up in prison for all his bullshit or homeless, and I'm still convinced that even if Sally karks it, Karen will take the goblin in since she'll feel she "owes it" to her bestie and her "special needs little boy".
First night after Cyraxx raids her panty drawer, he will be thrown on the street, and she will use his head to open the door.
 
First night after Cyraxx raids her panty drawer, he will be thrown on the street, and she will use his head to open the door.
That's what SHOULD happen.

But how often does things that should happen actually happen to lolcows with plot armor?

She not only says that she's advised Sally to evict Cyraxx after an incident of him physically assaulting Sally, but she also asks if there's a way she could stop in and evict him without evicting Sally.
Key word, advised . She didn't say "You either kick that goblin out or you're all out on your ass."
 
We're a community? That's gay as fuck don't poz load my neghole.
We are a community of special friends

Imagine getting a video of the two jacking off with each other. How would he spin that into not being gay?
...wait a minute...no, don't actually imagine that FUCK MY DAY IS RUINED
I gotta stop coming to this thread man
 
Key word, advised . She didn't say "You either kick that goblin out or you're all out on your ass."

Correct, because she's a long-time friend of Sally's and doesn't want to make her friend homeless.

Sally is GREAT at selling her victim complex to the people around her, painting herself as a helpless old woman bound to a deranged attic goblin with no ability to change her situation. Even Marty was initially suckered into thinking of Sally as a sympathetic figure.

Cyraxx is so repugnant that he's completely unable to manipulate people with an IQ above room temperature into feeling sorry for him. Despite Karen's loyalty to Sally, I really can't see her signing on to be the goblin's next wrangler.

Granted, this is all speculation, so we can also agree to disagree and wait for Sally's death to kick off that arc to see what happens.
 
And to top it all off, he manages to be THIS fascinating and yet unable to capitalize on it in any meaningful way. Someone (Marty?) said that it's like Cyraxx pisses gasoline and still can't figure out how to use that to make money, and it remains true to this day.
Trolls would go out of their way to block any and all monetization, Cyraxx is fucked once Sally dies and honestly he deserves what's coming
 
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