💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Shartavius]

Still can't figure out why he hasn't gotten a sponsor in years.

Technically, every review - including the ones wherein he lies about having a chinesium countertop gimmick appliance "sent to" him - is Tammy-sponsored. I liken Jack's production budget to a fat make-a-wish kid who was granted his own cooking show and studio kitchen with a bloody tree stump in it, then refused to die.

 

[the khat quaffer]

Technically, every review - including the ones wherein he lies about having a chinesium countertop gimmick appliance "sent to" him - is Tammy-sponsored.

I know you know that's not what I meant.

IF his last video is to be believed, he/Tammy got an air fryer oven (Samsung). Presumably for baking his fat fuck finger food "sandwiches". A quick search says Samsung air fryers are a cuppa hundred bucks at least depending on the model. Stupid fuck doesn't tell what model or even show it, but there is a Hamilton Beach somethingorother barely visible when he's buttering up.

I don't get it. Why buy this. He whines about declining youtube revenue, he doesn't have a job, there's no way Tammy is getting cunty enough with the books to just up and drop several hundred for a new range. How/why does he buy a new gook oven after already saying they're garbage? To gloat about how right he was?? I could have just searched on the internet to figure out how air fryers work rather than drop a few hundred to prove myself right to a bunch of strangers.

At least get a few shekels back from the purchase by reviewing it or something instead of just saying how bad it is. Talk about its features and shit. Compare air frying vs. other frying. Anything. Mr. "20 years on youtube".

 

[Aunt Carol]

Still can't figure out why he hasn't gotten a sponsor in years.

Does Raid: Shadow Legends have good one-handed gameplay?

 

[AnOminous]

He's so divorced from accountability that holding him to his own words in any way he can't immediately ragequit or weasel out of is narc injury sufficient to break him down and have him rolled over in tears.

Jack blubbering like a baby in front of those cowboys who obviously viewed him with utter contempt will never fail to amuse.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Does Raid: Shadow Legends have good one-handed gameplay?

He had one game related review, he barely talked about the game, and instead focused the episode on "Gamer Food".

One brilliant idea? Putting mixed nuts in a glass so you could tip them into your mouth like that.
Another brilliant idea? Wrapping a piece of bacon around a Brussel sprout and baking it then eating the semi-raw bacon wrapped mini-cabbage with a toothpick. And... something else equally retarded.

Every single actual sponsor he's gotten never sponsored him again. In that he's like DSP. He's so toxic and retarded nobody wants to deal with him.

Jack blubbering like a baby in front of those cowboys who obviously viewed him utter contempt will never fail to amuse.

That was funny but the funniest bit was when he was forced to give a glowing review of that omelette maker or risk the company suing him for libel.

He's such a transparent little bitch.

 

[AnOminous]

Komarov's badass, "screw you Director Mishin" move, after the letters and reports were ignored, was to adamantly request an open-casket funeral should the flight go badly. He got it; that's an easy photo to find, too.

It looks like Jack's cooking.

I've seen that picture. He barely looks recognizable as even organic.

 

[densedance]

faked moon landing conspiracy theorists dont go far enough. they need to get more absurd. total moon denial.
moon? what moon? no such thing exists? that thing in the sky? government drone.

I bet you 10$ that you could easily convince Jack that Switzerland is the Capitol of Sweden. Because of the same flag "configuration".

Wrapping a piece of bacon around a Brussel sprout

Ah LOL I remember that one. Nothing wrong with nuts. But hey man, don't you ever remember when you or one of your mates in the middle of a raid said "Hol up, I have to take a bite of my fucking Brussel Sprout wrapped in Bacon".

 

[the khat quaffer]

I've seen that picture. He barely looks recognizable as even organic.

Still more appetizing than Jack's 14 month brisket.

Does Raid: Shadow Legends have good one-handed gameplay?

No idea, but when he heard the term 'pie in the sky', he installed War Thunder immediately.

 

[Uber driver reviewer]

Jack loses his shit over being called a boomer and and proclaiming to understand workplace HR issues while not having had a real job in 25 years.

Also…Jan 6th N1663R = Jan sigxtdh gai!

 

[the khat quaffer]

https://youtube.com/watch?v=RNvMXYAqUs0:3190

Jack loses his shit over being called a boomer and and proclaiming to understand workplace HR issues while not having had a real job in 25 years.

If you can call being a recalcitrant, glorified jukebox player for black anus restaurants a "real" job, sure.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Ah LOL I remember that one. Nothing wrong with nuts. But hey man, don't you ever remember when you or one of your mates in the middle of a raid said "Hol up, I have to take a bite of my fucking Brussel Sprout wrapped in Bacon".

Nothing wrong with the nuts but he was acting like it was some brilliant life hack.

The Brussel sprout thing could have worked as well but not wrapping an entire piece of bacon around it. That was part of the issue. The bacon was still raw which is nasty.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=RNvMXYAqUs0:3190

Jack loses his shit over being called a boomer and and proclaiming to understand workplace HR issues while not having had a real job in 25 years.

As has been stated, boomer isn't necessarily an age range so much as it's a state of mind.

 

[Uber driver reviewer]

Wrap bacon around figs not Brussels sprouts, Brussels sprouts are chick repellent because it makes genitals smell like someone dug up a horse corpse. The above applies for asparagus as well. Plan accordingly,

Add some cayenne or coarsely ground black belper between the bacon and fig. Roast on medium for a long time

Whatever the bacon surrounds will slowly fry it,

 

[Bassomatic]

Jack wouldn't care about something like how a food effects your sex life.

Granted he probably went down once after hearing a school yard "roast beef" joke and was so disappointed he chose to be gay since it looks like a hot dog.

 

[the khat quaffer]

Wrap bacon around figs not Brussels sprouts, Brussels sprouts are chick repellent because it makes genitals smell like someone dug up a horse corpse. The above applies for asparagus as well. Plan accordingly,

Add some cayenne or coarsely ground black belper between the bacon and fig. Roast on medium for a long time

Whatever the bacon surrounds will slowly fry it,

Wrap bacon around bacon.
Bet money Jack shit himself when he heard about this.



I would unironically donate monies for Jack's next surgery to laser on a bacon weave polish plait on his beluga dome. I would even buy one of his faggot-ass merch hats or Tammy mugs.

 

[p1138]

As has been stated, boomer isn't necessarily an age range so much as it's a state of mind.

He's a retard that can't understand that no one is calling him a baby boomer, they're just calling him a boomer... because he's a boomer. In the middle of his tantrum... he claims that millennials are the "entitled generation" as if Fatty himself isn't one of the most entitled people on the planet which he demonstrated with his tantrum about being called a boomer. Like usual, he's got the self-awareness of a fucking goldfish, and it's surprising he can demonstrate object permanency at times.

Now for a chili that actually looks like a chili instead of Fatty's pressure cooker soup that he calls chili.

I knew about velveting meat, didn't know about this to help browning of ground beef. And she then uses that ground beef to make a chili in a pot, in an oven for an hour and a half rather than blasting in it a pressure cooker for 20 minutes and it actually ends up looking edible. Fatty wouldn't have the patience for either of these bits of information.

 

[the khat quaffer]

He's a retard that can't understand that no one is calling him a baby boomer, they're just calling him a boomer... because he's a boomer. In the middle of his tantrum... he claims that millennials are the "entitled generation" as if Fatty himself isn't one of the most entitled people on the planet which he demonstrated with his tantrum about being called a boomer. Like usual, he's got the self-awareness of a fucking goldfish, and it's surprising he can demonstrate object permanency at times.

Now for a chili that actually looks like a chili instead of Fatty's pressure cooker soup that he calls chili.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=b4QqU-RQZ4wI knew about velveting meat, didn't know about this to help browning of ground beef. And she then uses that ground beef to make a chili in a pot, in an oven for an hour and a half rather than blasting in it a pressure cooker for 20 minutes and it actually ends up looking edible. Fatty wouldn't have the patience for either of these bits of information.

"Millennials are entitled!"
- man that has NEVER had a real job, eats goyslop 8 days a week, has a live-in caretaker, can't climb stairs or walk or even wipe his own ass

Forget Hope, JACK is the one that should be wearing a harness 24/7.

~

Might/will have to try this A&H meat for my macaroni and gravy.

 

[ZipDisk]

Wouldn't thousand island and franks taste like shit?

The agony when he tried to use the dead arm makes me resent Tammy more.

The frank's color was off, as are most of Jack's condiments. I still remember the near black sriracha he once ate and said was amaaazing.

Zamzung.

I hoped he would swallow a toothpick, but we have been denied.

The food clearly gave him a lot of physical pain.

Gemini could not figure out what the fuck jack was actually trying to do, it kept hallucinating either a pocket sandwich (rolled dough) or pinwheels (rolled sandwich.)

Does anyone know what the fuck he was ripping off here? I thought like a smash sandwich, but that's long in the rearview of the internet.

I... think I found it?

Khat, the zamzung is just your standard overpriced oven range, with air fryer "mode".

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Wouldn't thousand island and franks taste like shit?

A Reuben has either Russian or TI dressing as part of the sandwich. He's just adding Frank's as Hammy repellant.

But then you're also not supposed to dip it in the dressing in the first place. That means it's all you're going to taste.

 

[ZipDisk]

Funny enough, I think someone trained microsoft copilot to hate jack, it usually yells at me if I make fun of retards but it went in on Jack nearly unprompted. It thinks he's a fucking idiot who isn't even good at stealing, and that his brain stalls mid recipe. (TRUE)

The one I found initially was a redneck with a mop bucket on his counter and he was an insufferable faggot, but he actually cited the allrecipes video.

One thing southern faggot AND all recipes omitted?
The toothpicks.

The southern faggot did the same thing with the sauce jack did, with more phallic imagery.

 

[AltisticRight]

Astronaught is keyto - Jack
I bet Jack has eaten that freeze dried ice cream before.

Didn't fatty buy, or was given a freeze drier? What is he doing it now?
Was it just one of the many dumb gadgets he bought to never use again?