Fanfiction Horrors

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This fanfic is one example of the extremely rare small dick futanari kink:

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And it was written by the also very rare MtF writer:

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On a sun-laden afternoon, Sixth Street simmered with the idle rhythm of city heat. Zhu Yuan walked her patrol route with the steady assurance of someone who had long since merged discipline with instinct. Her uniform, tailored, tight, and unforgiving, clung to her like a second skin, soaked in the heat of the day. Each step she took stirred a sensual tension in the fabric, the sway of her hips exaggerated by the tautness of the waistband and the glisten of perspiration along her thighs.

The sun pressed on her shoulders like a jealous lover, relentless and possessive.

Focus, she told herself, squinting into the horizon. Routine. Observance. Order.

But even as she repeated the mantra of Public Security, her body betrayed her: slick with sweat, pulse quickened, the faintest tremor of something unprofessional humming beneath her skin.

“Damn it,” she murmured. “If I don’t find shade and something cold, I’ll break apart like glass left in a kiln.”

Minutes later, she slipped into a corner store, welcomed by the hiss of air conditioning and the antiseptic chill of refrigeration. She moved straight to the glass-doored cooler, pulled free a bottle of cold water, and twisted off the cap. The plastic cracked sharply in her hand. She drank not delicately, but with quiet desperation. Cold water spilled from the corner of her mouth, trailing down her throat, slipping between her breasts and lower still: uncomfortably cooling skin that had begun to warm for the wrong reasons.

A twitch beneath her uniform made her jaw tighten. The pathetic ache low in her pelvis pulsed once, small and humiliating, a reminder of just how little control she had.

Control yourself. You're a captain, not some heat-drunk intern.

Then, movement.

A flicker—peripheral, fast, feminine. At the edge of the alleyway behind the store, where shadows met sunlight like opposing wills, Zhu Yuan caught the silhouette of a woman. Not just any woman.

Zhu's heartbeat doubled in pace, not out of fear (never that) but recognition. The witness descriptions, the camera footage, the motion in her memory like a lingering scent on a pillow.

So she didn’t run far.

With practiced silence, Zhu exited the back door and stepped into the mouth of the alley, her boots finding purchase on the cracked concrete. The air was thicker here as if the heat had pooled and curdled in the absence of witnesses. Her hand rested on the holster at her hip. The baton waited, cold and obedient.

She did not call for backup. She didn't want it.

The woman stood near the wall, half-turned, her breath visible in the tension of her shoulders. Sweat painted the nape of her neck and darkened the collar of her shirt. Even cornered, she held herself like someone who knew she had been watched.

Why didn’t you keep running?

“You,” Zhu Yuan said, her voice a measured blade, honed and held close. “Robbery on Sixth Street. Four hours ago. Eyewitnesses saw a woman matching your description.”

The woman didn’t respond at first. Her silence was not uncertainty but calculation, and her breath came steady, too steady: each rise and fall of her chest a quiet assertion of control. It made Zhu Yuan achingly aware of her own breath, the shallowness of it, the way it hitched too easily.

“I should drag you in,” Zhu Yuan said, her voice low, measured. One step brought her closer to the suspect. The baton stayed holstered, untouched, but her fingers ghosted along its edge idly, almost thoughtfully. “But you’re not even trying to run, are you?”

Internally, Zhu Yuan was unraveling.

The cling of sweat and spilled water had turned her uniform clingy and damp, like a second skin gone cruel. Every shift of fabric kissed the wrong places. Every breath drew her further into discomfort, and every motion made it worse. That humiliating, treacherous throb beneath her waistband had returned: small, insistent, and undeniable. Her cock, pitiful thing that it was, pressed against the tight seam of her pants like it had any right to announce itself.

Not now. Please, not now.

She shifted her stance to relieve the pressure, but the movement only made things worse. The fabric rubbed over her head with punishing precision, sending a shiver lancing through her. Her thighs squeezed together involuntarily. Her fingers tightened around her baton. She couldn’t stop the heat pooling low in her belly. Couldn’t stop how her hips gave a shameful twitch.

You are a captain. Not a desperate mess.

But her breath hitched. Her chest tightened. That miserable little bulge twitched harder against her zipper, barely there, but to her it felt enormous, exposed. A spotlight on her shame.

Then the woman moved.

Fast, disarmingly fast. The baton was gone, spinning across the pavement before Zhu Yuan had even realized her grip had faltered. And then…

The wall. Her back slammed into it, hard enough to knock the air from her lungs. The woman’s body pinned hers like a trap, all heat and strength and certainty. Her forearm pressed against Zhu Yuan’s collarbone, not cruelly, but with absolute control. Dominance made manifest. The contact made her skin light up.

She froze. Not from fear: she’d faced worse. But this was different. This was worse.

"Is this the best Public Security has to offer?" the woman breathed, her voice rich with mockery and curiosity alike. Her lips were too close. Her thigh pressed right between Zhu Yuan’s legs, right against that mortifying little bulge.

Zhu Yuan gasped. She tried to speak, to protest, but her mouth wouldn’t obey. Her hands twitched uselessly at her sides. Her hips, traitors, rocked forward ever so slightly, grinding her hardness into the woman’s thigh.

The woman looked down.

Her smile was slow, wicked. “What tiny equipment you have,” she murmured, and Zhu Yuan wanted to die. Her entire body went still, a frozen sculpture of dread and arousal.

She sees it. She feels it.

Then the woman’s hand slid down, casual as anything, and cupped her. Through her uniform, through thick fabric, there it was. Her small, aching cock pulsing against that warm palm. It felt unbearably hard. Painfully alive. Her whole world narrowed to that single point of contact.

She whimpered.

No…no…

She tried to bite it back, but it slipped out, a pathetic sound from somewhere deep inside her throat. Her eyes fluttered shut in shame. But that didn’t stop the mortification as the woman squeezed, rough and firm. It didn’t stop the way her body responded, twitching against the pressure like a needy thing.

Zhu Yuan’s breathing turned ragged. Her chest rose and fell as if she’d just sprinted ten blocks. Her face burned. She couldn’t look her in the eye.

And yet, she didn’t move. Couldn’t. Her hands remained useless at her sides, her thighs trembling. Her cock pulsed weakly in the woman’s grip, painfully hard, barely there, and exposed now, not in flesh but in meaning.

There was nowhere to hide.

Zhu Yuan let out a sharp, broken gasp as the woman's hand closed more fully around her. The grip was firm, almost cruel, and it stole the air from her lungs. Her back arched against the brick wall, heels scraping helplessly against the concrete. Her whole body convulsed with the shock of sensation, humiliation laced with such raw, dizzying pleasure that it made her feel sick.

Her cheeks flamed crimson. Not just from shame, but from the betrayal blooming inside her: from how quickly and easily her cock responded. That pathetic little thing, barely worthy of the name, already throbbed under the stranger’s palm, leaking helplessly into the fabric of her uniform.

"D-Don’t…!" she choked out, voice brittle, cracking. Her hands pushed weakly against the woman’s shoulders, but her strength had drained from her limbs. It was no use. That hand, rough and deliberate, moved against her with merciless purpose. Each stroke, even through fabric, sent a jolt through her spine. Her thighs trembled, knees unsteady.

Not like this. Not so fast. Not so easy.

She bit down hard on her lower lip, jaw tight. It wasn’t enough to stop the sounds, those horrible, involuntary gasps and whimpers that escaped with every grind of the woman’s fingers. Her hips gave a desperate little jerk forward, seeking more contact even as she told herself to resist.

"You bastard," she whispered, venom dulled by need. "I’ll have you arrested...I…ah...!"

The rest disintegrated into a moan, thick with helplessness. Her breath hitched as the woman’s thumb found the tip of her trapped length and began to move in slow, mocking circles. Zhu Yuan’s whole body locked up. Her toes curled in her boots.

Tears.

They pricked at the corners of her eyes; not from pain, not even from fear, but from the sheer overload of it all. The pleasure was unbearable. Too sharp. Too much. And worst of all, it was hers. Born from her own body, her own desperate, aching desire.

Her thighs clenched as her cock pulsed again, harder this time. Too hard. There was no holding it back. With a strangled whimper, she came.

Her whole body seized, back arching, chest rising as her cock, small, throbbing, and helpless, spilled inside her pants. It wasn’t even a proper climax. Just a thin, watery release, soaking into her underwear, barely more than a spurt before it began to trickle down her trembling legs. The shame hit her in waves.

You didn’t even last a minute.

The woman pulled back slightly, enough to look down, and then laughed. A sound like velvet and razors.

“Well now… that’s just pathetic,” she murmured, her tone full of wicked amusement. “Have you ever even been touched before?”

Zhu Yuan flinched, but couldn’t bring herself to answer. Her face was burning, eyes wet, breath ragged.

The woman smirked, then, without ceremony, reached down and yanked her pants down to her thighs. Cool air struck her wet skin, and Zhu Yuan whimpered in disbelief. Her one-inch cock twitched once in the open air, red and spent and still embarrassingly stiff despite everything.

The woman looked down, eyes gleaming with a cruel kind of curiosity.

“Did you think I was done?” the woman said, wrapping her fingers around the trembling shaft again, no longer through cloth but skin to skin. Her grip was firm, not violent, but utterly inescapable. She began to stroke, slowly. Mockingly, “How cute.”

Zhu Yuan’s eyes rolled back for a moment. Her hips jerked again, as if her body didn’t know how to stop reacting. Every nerve was raw. Her stomach coiled, legs trembling with overstimulation. She wanted to say something, anything, but no words came. Only breath, shallow and broken.

Too much… oh god, too much…

Her thoughts were dissolving, scattering into white noise. Every stroke was a lightning bolt: sharp, precise, and excruciatingly perfect. The woman's grip was measured, deliberate, and it enveloped her entirely. Her cock was so pathetically small that it disappeared almost completely within those fingers. Each movement became a full-body experience, amplified by her tiny size, her shame, and her utter helplessness.

Clear fluid streamed freely from the tip now, slicking the woman's hand, dripping down onto the concrete below in fragile strings. It left Zhu Yuan trembling, open-mouthed and gasping as if drowning in pleasure she couldn't control.

Then came the thumb.

It pressed against the tip, so gently, so slowly, and began to move in tight, smearing circles, mixing the thin pre-cum across her oversensitive head. Zhu Yuan’s breath hitched sharply, her shoulders knocking against the wall as her hips jerked forward in a panic of sensation.

“H-Hah… nngh…”

The sounds left her without her consent, whimpers torn from deep inside her throat. Her voice was faint now, laced with disbelief and heat. Her tiny cock twitched wildly in the woman's grasp, as if trying to retreat from the pleasure even as it leaned into it.

She tried to twist away, she really tried, but the woman’s grip held fast. Firm. Controlling. Inevitable.

No… not again…

The pressure was mounting again far too quickly, a humiliating second climax building deep inside her belly. She hadn’t even recovered from the last. Her cock, still flushed and wet from the first spill, now throbbed violently, growing stiffer and needier.

I can’t… I can’t take anymore…

But the woman didn’t relent. She tightened her grip.

Zhu Yuan’s knees buckled fully this time. She slumped down the wall, legs trembling so hard they barely held her weight. Her body collapsed into itself, her spine sliding until her shoulders found support behind her. The only thing keeping her upright was the wall and that hand, still pumping her mercilessly.

Another thin, useless dribble of cum spilled from her, no climax shout, no peak of pleasure: just a raw, overstimulated surrender. Her mouth fell open in a silent cry, her whole body quivering like a broken instrument.

She had nothing left. Only the trembling aftermath of humiliation.

The woman smirked. She didn’t pause. If anything, she tightened her grip further, twisting slightly now, dragging her hand faster up and down that flushed little shaft as it twitched and convulsed in her palm. Her voice was low and amused, cutting through the haze like a knife.

“You pathetic thing…”

Zhu Yuan couldn’t answer. Her eyes were glassy, unfocused. Her thighs had parted fully now, legs spread in defeat, hands limp at her sides. Her cock kept twitching, as if confused by its own limits, pulsing weakly in her tormentor’s hand.

And the strokes continued.

She didn’t even know if she was still moaning; only that the world had narrowed to that one unbearable place between her legs.

Zhu Yuan’s body locked up like a struck wire: sharp, electric, uncontrollable. Her back arched violently away from the wall, every muscle pulled taut with the shock of it. The woman’s hand moved without mercy, twisting and stroking her pitiful little cock with the precision of someone who knew exactly how to break her. Her mouth opened wide, but no sound emerged. Just a series of shattered, airless gasps.

“Nngh…! H-Hah… nnf…”

The noises came in fragments, raw and helpless. Her cock pulsed in the woman’s grip like it still had something left to give, another humiliating twitch, another dribble of weak, watery cum that barely oozed past the tip before spilling over the woman's fingers. It wasn’t even a climax. It was a surrender: automatic, involuntary, and pathetic.

Her body wasn’t just sensitive now, it was exposed, raw, a nerve set alight. Every stroke bordered on agony, a pleasure so sharp it collapsed into pain. But even as her legs shook and her face crumpled in shame, her hips jerked forward, seeking it. Her cock, tiny, swollen, and spent, still tried to rut into that merciless hand.

Too much… please, stop… but I can’t…I can’t stop…

Tears streamed freely now. Not misty-eyed restraint, but full collapse: wet streaks racing down her burning cheeks, caught at the edge of her chin. Her thighs trembled uncontrollably, slick with sweat and her own mess. She had no idea how she was still upright. Shame anchored her body in space, and even that anchor was slipping.

Then came the pinch.

The woman’s fingers closed around the swollen head of her cock and gave a cruel twist, a deliberate squeeze. Pain bloomed, sharp and intimate. Zhu Yuan’s legs gave out completely. Her body folded forward, and she collapsed against the woman, clutching at her shoulders as if they were the last stable surface in the world.

“A-Ahh… N-No more… please…”

Her voice was broken glass, whimpering and childlike; so far from the composed officer she’d been only minutes ago. Her cock twitched miserably in the woman’s hand, still drooling thin strands of cum despite having long since emptied. Her whole body quivered with aftershocks, a puppet strung together by overstimulation and raw, unspeakable need.

I can’t think…I can’t breathe…I don’t even know who I am…

Her hips moved on their own now, caught in a limbo between escape and surrender. One moment trying to twist away, the next grinding forward with a desperate need for contact. The rhythm was pitiful. The friction burned. The fire in her spine rose, searing everything in its path.

Then it hit her: the unbearable realization of how easily she’d fallen apart. Of how completely she had shattered. A fresh wave of humiliation consumed her, even more overwhelming than the pleasure.

“You bastard…” she breathed, slurred and unconvincing. “I-I’ll…nngh!…I’ll arrest y-you f-for th-this…”

It was almost laughable.

With a smirk, the woman gave a few final strokes, just enough to make Zhu Yuan’s whole body jolt one more time. Her cock twitched in protest, flushed red and raw, no longer even leaking, just pulsing weakly, used up. Her skin burned. Her thighs were slick with her shame.

“Look at the mess you made,” the woman murmured, her tone smooth, cruel, delighted.

Zhu Yuan’s breath came in stuttered gasps, ribs heaving beneath her soaked uniform. She looked down. Her cock, tiny and bright red from the relentless stroking, twitched one last time, visibly sore. Watery cum clung to it in strands, pooled on the inside of her pants, and streaked down her thighs. The pavement below was stained with what little she’d managed to produce: thin, pathetic trails that sparkled in the alley light like something forgotten.

She couldn’t even lift her head.

She had no words left. Just the shame, the heat, the ache, and the unbearable knowledge that she’d let this happen.

“I…I didn’t… nngh…!”

Her voice broke open mid-sentence, dissolving into a strangled sound more breath than protest. Her words died on her tongue, crushed beneath the weight of shame and raw sensation. She tried to pull away, a final act of dignity, but all she managed was another humiliating grind of her aching, overworked cock against the woman’s palm.

The contact made her twitch like a dying creature: reflexive, involuntary, obscene.

Disgusting… I’m disgusting…

The thought repeated in her head like a mantra, unrelenting, poisonous. It echoed through every nerve as her hips gave one last, traitorous jerk forward. Her cock, too small to fight and too sensitive to endure, throbbed pitifully in the woman’s grip, still leaking thin strings of watery release.

And yet…yet…the heat in her gut refused to die. It burned low and deep, feeding on the woman’s gaze, on the sick pleasure she took in watching her squirm. Zhu Yuan could see it: the amusement, the cruelty, the satisfaction in seeing her reduced to nothing.

Nothing but a plaything.

Her body spasmed as the woman’s fingers suddenly closed hard around the base of her cock, squeezing in a sharp ring of pressure. Zhu Yuan saw white. Her knees gave out completely. She slumped forward, arms limp, face burying itself into the woman’s shoulder as she let out a helpless, shuddering sob.

Her cock twitched again in the woman’s palm: a final, pathetic pulse, like a broken insect still trying to move.

“P-Please… s-stop… nngh…”

The words were barely more than air, stripped of volume, of command. Her throat ached from moaning, from gasping, from begging. Yet her body kept trembling, spasming with overstimulation. Droplets of slick fluid still leaked from her tip in soft, humiliating pulses. Her cock was bright red, tender to the touch, twitching like it wanted to retreat into her.

Each spurt came with a full-body shiver. Every twitch of her length sent ripples through her chest, her arms, her spine. She felt unraveled, nerves stripped bare, no protection left.

I can’t take any more.

The thought repeated once, twice, and then collapsed into nothing. No more words. Just static. Just heat and noise and sensation.

She didn’t even register the fingernail, not until it traced up the underside of her hypersensitive cockhead, slow and cruel. The touch was barely there, feather-light, but it might as well have been a blade.

Her entire body convulsed.

A strangled, animalistic cry ripped from her throat. Her back arched. Her arms flailed for support before collapsing again. Tears spilled anew, cutting wet lines through the already ruined mess of her face. She shook with the effort to breathe.

And yet.

When the woman paused, pulled back, withheld…

Zhu Yuan whimpered.

With all the dignity of a broken animal, her hips shifted forward, seeking contact, begging in motion even as her mouth remained frozen in shame. Her cock, though abused beyond reason, twitched upward as if chasing the hand that had made her suffer.

She was a wreck. A captain reduced to instinct. A soldier unraveling at the seams.

And worst of all… somehow, still wanting.

“Open your mouth,” the woman said.

Zhu Yuan whimpered. Her body twitched, trying to recoil, reflex, not resistance. Torn open by sensation, her mind a soup of static…she trembled, hesitated. She barely recognized herself, stripped of command, of cool detachment. Her uniform bunched around her waist, her thighs slick, her breath ragged, and her cock… twitching pitifully, leaking steadily, small and red and humiliated beyond repair.

“D-Don’t…” she started, but her words dissolved into nothing. Her jaw slackened, and her lips parted, barely able to form a thought.

The woman’s fingers slid past her lips.

The taste hit her immediately: salt, sweat, and her own watery cum, smeared across skin that had manhandled her from the start. She gagged lightly, the intrusion sudden, but she didn’t pull away. Her mouth closed around the fingers instinctively, and she began to suck slowly and shamefully.

Her eyes fluttered, blurring with fresh tears that streaked hot down her cheeks. The woman pressed deeper, curling her fingers just enough to smear the taste everywhere, until it dripped from the corners of Zhu Yuan’s mouth, thick and humiliating. Her cock throbbed in the open air, useless and aching, twitching against her thigh with every shallow breath.

When the woman finally withdrew, Zhu Yuan swayed forward like a puppet cut from its strings. Her knees gave. She collapsed onto the filthy pavement in a wet sprawl, thighs splayed, arms limp at her sides.

“Mmmm… our time is up now, officer.”

The voice was mocking. Warm. Dismissive.

Zhu Yuan could only breathe.

“Hah… ahh… y-you…” she tried, but her throat was hoarse, her voice shredded. Her body refused to cooperate. The concrete bit coldly into her palms. Her limbs trembled with aftershocks. The taste of her own ruin still clung thick to her tongue. She tried to sit up, but her arms buckled, too weak and too sore.

Disgusting… I’m disgusting…

She closed her eyes, feeling the humiliation pool in her belly alongside the low throb of lingering arousal. Her mind was a haze of exhaustion, shame, and something dangerously close to satisfaction.

“T-This isn’t… over…”

The words spilled from Zhu Yuan’s lips in a cracked whisper, defiant only in shape. Pride flickered in her like a dying ember, faint, absurd, and overshadowed by the involuntary way her thighs pressed together as a breeze swept across her exposed, raw cock. Even that tiny gust made her flinch. Made her burn.

The woman loomed above her, silent and smiling. Not with amusement, but with something darker, slower, and far more personal. One boot came down on Zhu Yuan’s cheek, grinding her face into the pavement. The grit bit into her skin. Her breath hitched against the sole, tears smearing into the dirt.

“A parting gift, officer,” the woman purred. With a slow, deliberate motion, she pulled down her own panties, filthy, soaked through with sweat and musky with arousal. Zhu Yuan’s eyes widened. She tried to shake her head, tried to speak…

…but the soaked fabric is already being shoved into her mouth.

Zhu Yuan gagged immediately, her jaw forced wide. The fabric was slick and warm, nearly clogging her throat. She barely had time to sputter before strong hands pinned her, one at her jaw, the other winding tape around her head. Once. Twice. A third time. Her vision blurred. The taste of salt and musk was suffocating. Her moans were reduced to choked, high-pitched gasps. Her eyes watered. Breath came in shallow, frantic bursts through her nose.

She struggled, but the woman's grip moved lower, precise and practiced. In moments, cold restraints bit into her wrists, then her ankles, cinched tight. She could barely move. Could barely think. Her cock twitched helplessly in the open air, red, puffy, and utterly obscene, leaking a fresh droplet that slid across her belly like a slow accusation.

Then the woman lifted her.

Zhu Yuan’s body dangled in the air, every joint aching, her limbs useless. Her cock brushed against the woman’s forearm, just a grazing touch, and she jerked in response, a broken whimper escaping behind the gag.

She didn’t have time to recover.

The woman carried her toward the alley’s edge, toward the open dumpster yawning in the shadows. Panic exploded behind Zhu Yuan’s eyes.

Noe…pleasee…no no not there…

But she couldn’t speak. Couldn’t beg. She could only flail, her bonds holding tight as the world tilted and her body dropped.

She landed in wet, decaying garbage with a sickening squelch.

Bags burst beneath her. The filth hits her all at once: rotting fruit, plastic bags torn open, wet paper, grease. Her face plunged into a mound of rotting food and mold-slick cardboard. Her cock, raw and hypersensitive, landed directly in a slick of grease and filth, grinding against something unidentifiable and cold.

“NNGH—MMMPH—!”

Her spine arched violently. Her hips bucked. Her cock twitched and released a pathetic dribble into the filth. The smell of decomposition invaded her nostrils. Something viscous and sour oozed across her inner thigh.

I’m trash…I’m nothing…why does this…why does this feel…

The thought didn’t finish. It fractured into static.

Her body convulsed again as something sharp scraped beneath her bound thighs: glass, maybe, or the edge of a can. Her cock was pressed into warm rot, so overstimulated it pulsed with every breath. Her nose was filled with stench, her mouth gagged with sweat-soaked cotton, and the tape made her humiliation airtight. Intimate.

Zhu Yuan writhed, barely human now, just a mess of sweat, tears, and shame. Her body gleamed under the dim alley light, smeared with sauce and refuse. Her cock was slick with garbage. Her chest heaved. And she made no sound but a pathetic, muffled sob.

Above her, the woman lingers for a moment, enjoying the sight of the proud Public Security officer collapsed in a pile of trash, panting through a gag made of her filthy panties, cock twitching against spoiled meat and broken plastic. Then, slowly, she reached for the dumpster lid.

“Mmm... don’t worry, officer,” she said softly, turning away as metal groaned above Zhu Yuan’s head. “I’m sure your precious Qingyi will find you… eventually.”

Zhu Yuan’s scream was muffled, desperate, and hopeless. The lid slammed shut with a deafening clang. Darkness collapsed around her, thick and humid, and the world narrowed to the wet slap of trash, the burn of her oversensitive flesh, and the distant sound of chittering raccoons, drawn in by the scent of something fresh.

Something ruined.

Link / Archive

Speaking of small dicks, I assume that Female writers would be most likely to write about them, since they would be into shotacon, where small dicks would be most present, correct? And also, male writers love to write dicks of both male and futanari varieties be larger than humanly possible, and shoot more cum than is humanly possible too.
 

Attachments

"One Inch of Authority"
:story:

you can't convince me that this shit is anything but a parody shitpost
there's no fucking way this is sincere
 
This author admits she doesn't have much experience when it comes to roidal clit rubs, but that's okay - she has an endless supply of fics to guide her! This 28-year-old Brazilian he/they has a whole life ahead of her.
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Well that's very reassuring. Thank God you have plenty of material to copy and paste from!
> His pale skin full of dark dots
Hey, he's a Lite Brite!
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> Almost hovering over him
Guess that T hit and finally gave him Galactus' height.
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> Runegram
Interesting use of Instagram.
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> He was healthy
> Refuses to go to the doctor
If anything, that's the closest thing to male behaviour you'll get.
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Having panic attacks in the bathroom over a doctor's appointment is very masc and manly behaviour. You'd think he just watched a video of a drone attack from Ukraine.
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> A lesbian point out that your partner's behaviour is weird and controlling
> It gets excused because it's 'kink shaming'
Same logic men use when they choke their partners: 'it wasn't choking, it was just rough sex.'
> Pretty boy here isn't offended, right?
No, but he would be if you said he was a woman like you and he's not living down those lesbian DV rates.
> was he? A weirdo?
Yeah? It sounds weird?
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> I'm being a terrible husband and controlling your life and I'm a weirdo and a pervert
Jesus, even the excuses sound like that of a histrionic woman. Do the masc thing and go, 'I'm not abusing you, babe. You asked for this, remember?'
> His cock very eager and his hot wet and throbbing
What cock?
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> Sucking on the nipples and biting them lightly
Good to know he's still got feeling.
> Who made a sound like a meow
28-years-old and Brazilian to boot. I don't think this would sound good in Portuguese, either.
> Take your hands off my dick
Wait until you learn how big it is.
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> His cock rubbing against Viktor's and they moaned in unison
It's a roid clit.
> Aligning his cock - whose growth he was so proud of and which Viktor loved inside him
Friendly reminder that these roid clits only get up to 2 inches in length, and you need a metoidioplasty to make it larger. They are too small for penetration.
> You are taking me so well, baby
Your 'dick' is the length of a tooth pick. There isn't anything to take. A tampon would be - and is - bigger.
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Ten hours for this shit. I would tell her to touch grass but she might fuck that up, too.

The bourgeois bookstore has had an update. It's 13k words long, so it'll be Sparknotes edition. We ended with our Vicinity of Obscenity lad talking about getting stuck in a ravine and how that was queercoded. Now, they are going to a Chinese restaurant owned by a white man. Fun!
As stated in the blurb, the Chinese restaurant that Viktor raved about in the last chapter is actually owned by Benzo, a white man. Before they make the trek there, trailing along like the slugs they are, Viktor returned to the bookstore to find Sky and Lest giggling like mad, with Sky shoving money in Lest's bra (a very trans thing to do, I might add). From there, Viktor spirals, both at the suggestion of this date and Jayce nobly saving him from nearly tripping on the sidewalk with a sultry 'careful, V'. They are now on a nickname basis, much to the eternal flustering of our dear bookstore owner. He briefly saves the moment by asking Jayce an 'inappropriate' question - something Jayce grins about, saying he can ask those questions anytime - related to Jayce's brace. He wonders why he doesn't use a cane like he does; this question deflates our Latin Lover as he clearly expected something else, but he says that his doctor recommended it but he just never got around to it.

Viktor gears up to ask another question - and Jayce also responds that he can ask him anything in the world - before getting the door opened for him by Jayce. He is flustered by this chivalrous act, and blushes further with said chivalrous man's hand on his back as he his guided to their seat in the restaurant. He only stops blushing when he notices Jayce is in a considerable amount of pain. He brings it up to him, and Jayce says, 'you could say that, yeah'. He triples down by saying Viktor can ask him anything he wants, so he does: he asks why the pain hurts him so much. Jayce flat out tells him that he really did shatter his entire leg during the accident, as if a thousand pound vehicle and a great fall from a fucking ravine wasn't enough of a context clue. Jayce prepares to lay out the whole story, and Viktor, to no one's surprise, is too busy focused on the muscles on his arms. Really.

Jayce tells him that he underwent seven reconstructive surgeries and that amputation was on the table. Jayce insisted he wanted to keep the leg, so they did, and he constructed the brace himself. The conversation ends at that and Jayce pivots to Viktor ordering his favourite foods from the menu. Viktor is more concerned about Jayce not liking the dish - very masc - and orders miso chicken bowls and one fried rice bowl for them to share. Viktor keeps stuttering throughout the entire affair instead of embracing Jayce's confidence. His very masculine, manly attitude shows up when Jayce points out he's nervous and he goes, 'No I'm not?' and ending with 'Shut up' when Jayce plays into it. He pivots the conversation again by continuing the question Viktor was asking earlier, and that is related to how Jayce manages pain. Turns out he doesn't take any pain medication whatsoever, and that raises a few questions in Viktor's head. Whether it is due to pain addiction or not, that's left to be said. He wonders why Jayce refuses to use mobility aids or pain medication and thinks there's more than a personal objection there. Before he can get answers on that, the conversation pivots to him.

Viktor lets go of the subject for now and goes into his own life: he was born with femoral anteversion, and while such a condition can be fixed with surgery and physical therapy, his did not improve. His family could not afford the surgery so he was forced to adapt the best way he could. He had to endure pain and ridicule from able-bodied kids on top of being born in a body that felt foreign to him - whether that has to do with his physical body, or his gender identity, is left to the reader to decide. By the time Viktor made enough money to get the surgery he needed, it was only there to prevent things from deteriorating and that there is no cure available to him. Jayce offers his pity, but Viktor says he doesn't want it, even when this is trauma dumping for both of them.

Naturally, Jayce turns it around on him because Viktor was doing the same thing during the Q&A session. He objects, saying it isn't the same, but Jayce persists because he 'didn't see it at first either'. He moves to place his hand over Viktor's and he notes the yaoi size difference in their hands. Jayce asks if they can discuss their disabilities as they are without jumping to conclusions and assuming the worst of the other, and just accept themselves as they are? It's an odd thing to say because no one was jumping to the wrong conclusions; they were, again, trauma dumping for exposition's sake. Jayce tells him pity is the last emotion he evokes from him before changing the subject to how Viktor became an engineer. Viktor explains he always wanted to help people, especially disabled people like himself, and that field was the best way to do it. But there's a caveat: if you thought the trauma dumping was over, there's actually more of it. Viktor says that academia is a 'cruel place, especially for disabled people', because all he was ever seen as was 'the best disabled engineer' the university had (notice they never used the trans card for him even when both would've scored more social justice points). He wore the title with pride, but he also didn't like it, because he was reduced to that role and no one saw him as anything else. He even calls himself a diversity hire, lmao.

And if you thought the author would've left it at that, hell no. The author leans right into the 'fuck those cis white males' thing:
“I can't say that I lived through the same because I was able-bodied when I started my PhD, but that doesn't surprise me.” Jayce said. “They treat anyone who isn't a white man like that.”

Viktor snorted. “I filled the quota in various ways. Disabled, trans, gay, foreigner.”

“My god. They must've been terrified of you.” Jayce grinned, hand pressed to his chest.

“You have no idea.”
It doesn't occur to the author that Viktor, even if he is a trans man, is still white, and occupies the totem pole higher than Jayce, who is Latino. If these people think that anyone is afraid of a trans man in a position of power like that, I will direct you to the current trans lawyer crash out who screamed for a female officer while getting arrested.

To add on to the trauma dumping of this poor gay trans man, he patented a ton of mobility devices that could have aided people, but his partner hawked them to the highest bidder so that only wealthy people could've afforded them. He could've simply put the schematics online and had people 3D print them or sold the patents if he was so concerned about affordability, just sayin'. His partner was 'male deals' without him and he felt like he was betraying the lower classes by not giving them what they needed. Such is life in America.

Luckily, the trauma dumping ends when their food arrives and they proceed to stuff their faces. Jayce groans at how good the food tastes, with said groan being described as 'pornographic' (and something that I knew was going to be used). While they eat, Jayce asks why his partner squirreled away Viktor's inventions. Turns out his partner was none other than Dmitri, his ex-husband, who had power of attorney. He had said power due to a persistent illness Viktor had, yet did not expect him to become such a turncoat. He now owns the trademark for said devices with a mega corporation. Viktor managed to get the house after he fought for it in a divorce, and sold it to create his bookstore. Dmitri was none too happy losing his house to someone else - for dirt cheap, mind you - and the money being used for a bookstore, and Jayce laughs at this development. They exchange a toast to Viktor's victory and continue eating.

The conversation then turns to Jayce's personal life. This 'gay' man doesn't really have anything embarrassing to say; he had two girlfriends, one in high school and the other in college, with the college girlfriend lasting four years. He wanted to be a 'cis' man and reproduce with her, but she wanted to focus on her career, and Jayce outright admits that he resented a *checks notes* young twenty-something who wanted a steady job before popping out kids for our Latin Lover here. How dare a woman get a job in this economy. Viktor tries to extend his understanding (and pity!) by saying he got 'exactly what he wanted' with Dmitri, with all of his fantasies being shattered because white men don't season they romances. Jayce replies with 'maybe we were trying to make it work with the wrong person', to which Viktor agrees. He asks if there were any other relationships, and Jayce says 'nothing worth mentioning'. Viktor thinks Jayce is 'dangerous' for him and that he was sure he might 'very well kill him'. Platonically and consensually, of course.

Then we switch to Jayce's perspective: he wants to kiss this rosy-cheeked, bashful bookstore owner and wrap his yaoi fingers 'round and 'round his hands like he's a ball of yarn. He doesn't want to fuck this up, so he agrees to answer another of Viktor's questions: what made him want to become a writer? Viktor thinks this is an inappropriate question, but in Jayce's mind he's happy to have him read him like a book (literally), scribble in his margins and leave his mark on him permanently. He'd 'let him go on until he left a comprehensive review' because his biggest hater is his biggest fan.

Jayce eventually gets around to answering the question: Ximena got sick with breast cancer and he left engineering to take care of her full-time. He wrote 'for the fun of it' and shared his work with Mel, who then became his 'soundboard' and eventual publisher. She was interning at a publishing house at the time and showed them his first manuscript. The publishing house loved it, sent him a huge sum of money, and made him an author. He admits he wasn't proud of the first few books, but it made him money to pay off his student loans and medical debt (only in America) and gave him enough to find a specialist to save Ximena's life when her cancer came back. Viktor, taken aback by this information, tries to apologize for his reviews (very masc!) but Jayce interrupts, telling him that he was the only one who say his true self and potential in his writing. Viktor apologizes again, saying he didn't mean to sound like such a snob, telling him that he should be proud of his work as a writer and as a devoted son. Ximena is alive and well thanks to him, and spends her days nagging about grandkids. Someone tell her that sperm is old now and he's going to have sped kids if he does decide to dip his toes into the mum pum.

And would you look at that - MORE trauma dumping! Viktor's parents died when he was in high school at a factory accident and isn't Jayce so happy to still have one of his parents? They intertwine their fingers - Viktor with his long, pale fingers and Jayce with his big brown yaoi hands - and continue talking about their dead parents. Jayce's father died when he was 12 from a heart attack and the fact that both of their families are dead is a heart connection between the two of them. Jayce knows his innermost secrets and memories are safe with Viktor and that he'll keep them safe and cradled in his heart. It is always about safety with these people.

They have a heart-to-heart about how the pain never goes away and Jayce nearly starts crying. Viktor has to apologize for 'bringing down the mood' and then HE nearly starts crying. Very manly having a mental breakdown in a Chinese restaurant owned by a white man. Jayce comforts him by saying that nothing he does is 'boring'; that he could read the entire Chinese menu and that he'd be entranced. He hates the fact that Viktor can't see the whip-smart, irresistible man he is.
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> It was clear of a deflection Jayce had ever seen, but he decided to let it go
I think it was time to change the subject, anyways. You're going to kill him of boredom.
> I lost a decade in that haze and only woke up from it at the bottom of a ravine
He had to be humbled by a near-death experience, eh? He's like Stephen King without the coke addiction.
> I'm sorry it took such a horrific experience to get here, though
Are you? And it sure sounds like divine punishment if he has to be 'humbled' in order to change his ways.
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> Now you sound like my therapist
Well, you ARE trauma dumping.
> He wanted to ask Viktor about every single detail so he could learn exactly what the dumbass did to make Viktor leave
He did just tell you that he assumed right of attorney and stole his patent to help disabled people. Did you forget that?
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> I've never met anyone with such a similar story to mine. It's almost uncanny
Go to a VA meeting and you'll see plenty.
> It's like you were made for me
It's almost as if this is a workaround heterosexual Hallmark story!
> He'd been convinced that someone as irresistible as Viktor had a long list of past lovers
> Is 40-years-old and looks like a skinny undercooked kebab
Yeah I can see why the lads at Grindr shut him out.
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> Which may or may not include this particular dinner
Why wouldn't it count? It's a date you both agreed to.
> I would've expected you to have broken quite a number of hearts before getting married, to be honest
See point above about undercooked kebab. He is not the sexy pooner you think he is.
> His wrists were so elegant and thin he know he would be able to hold both of them with one hand. He could pin them together above his head
He's just uwu so smol.
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> I was chubbier in high school, and a lot shorter
Those Mexican genes don't handle carbs very well. If they don't lose the weight after puberty, they're stuck there.
> I would've been your first boyfriend, and I would've married you
That sounds very ✨HETEROSEXUAL✨
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> Viktor was not the wide-eyed, open boy he'd been in high school
He's a post-menopausal 40-year-old. I'd think sufficient time has passed for him to settle into what he is.
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> He wasn't positive whether Jayce liked men at all. He'd only mentioned ex-girlfriends and crushes on girls
He is exclusively attracted to vagina. He solely fucks vagina. He does not like anything near his ass. That makes him 💞HETEROSEXUAL💞 If he still wants to fuck you, a 'man with a vagina', that same rule applies.
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> He couldn't help if Jayce was hairy everywhere. Because if Viktor unbuttoned that shirt and saw a wide chest covered in hair as dark and dense as the one on Jayce's faces, he would've come on the spot untouched
Looks like our uwu pale, white, porcelain-skinned lil guy likes to be covered in a man with more hair than a Persian cat. Your Tarzan pubes are nothing compared to body hair that could adorn every kid's head in St. Jude's.
> Blinked away the wetness in his eyes and looked down
You were just thinking about whether he was hairy. What's going on, now?
> How was Viktor not supposed to turn into a pathetic puddle at his feet after an admission like that?
Compliment a pooner and that pussy will be put on a platter. That golden rule remains true.
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> That his mom was Mexican
I am quite sure if you looked at him you could tell he has Mexican heritage, just sayin'.
> Dreading the moment when they would have to go their separate ways
Have you added each other on Snapchat?
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> Hoping his cheeks weren't as hot as they felt
There has not been a single moment where this fucker has stopped blushing. He is so red he could be an emergency runway light.
> Viktor wanted to pay for the ice cream, simply because he felt wrong to let Jayce cover everything
Trans men are men until it comes time for men to pay the bill. Then they'll let the 'cis' man do it because it's chivalrous and nice. He won't take advantage of Jayce because he's 'richer' - he might be a gay disabled trans man but he ain't no gold digger!

They go to leave, and Viktor makes a mental note to buy more comfortable chairs for the Q&A after noticing Jayce's discomfort (one wonders why he didn't do it before, given his own disability). He says he would've 'flown into a rage' if Jayce asked him if he was OK, minutes after dreaming about rolling around in this man's body hair. At the ice cream parlour, Viktor orders cookie dough and caramel, while Jayce gets vanilla and cherry. He jokes that that amount of sugar in Viktor's order can kill him, and not everyone wants that kind of overload. When Viktor goes to pay, Jayce resists, saying that he pays when he asks people out. His authoritative voice turns Viktor on, so Viktor repays the favour by saying he'll pay 'next time', a statement that overjoys Jayce, who didn't think there'd be a next time. Viktor stutters at said joy, but Jayce saves the day by saying he can take him out any time he wants.

They sit on a bench outside because our bougie bookstore owner is hot and bothered by the attention. Luckily, it's not too cold out so he doesn't have to worry about his joints locking up. He says it's nice not to chase after someone, to which Jayce replies that if his ex made him run after him, he might have to pay a visit to his house. Viktor giggles at the mental image of a crippled Mexican berating a wealthy white man in his private neighbourhood, while said white man is a fan of said author who would be berating him for his mistreatment of his ex. Despite saying earlier that Dmitri stole his patent and ruined his life, he now says that he is 'charming', funny, and always knows what to say in social settings while our lil man has a terrible poker face and cannot interact with other people.

Jayce, by contrast, says he would've hated it; if he saw Viktor on Dmitri's arm he would've designated him Public Enemy No. 1. Viktor thinks such an interaction never would've happened in the first place because Dmitri always attended those events alone. He also thinks that Jayce's woodsy cologne is amazing and wants to shove his face into his neck to get a huff or two there.
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> Would Jayce be sensitive there? Would Viktor taste sweat and salty skin and remnants of his soup if he ran his tongue over the fragile skin?
Yeah I'm sure you're going to taste your miso soup if you suck on his carotid long enough.
> Hummed with pleasure
Obligatory 'eating ice cream as a metaphor for sex' trope in effect. Now have him bite the ice cream to establish dominance.
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> I thought you didn't like sweet things
He said he didn't like things that were too sugary as they'd kill him. He's right: Latinos have a diabetes problem.
> Acting on pure instinct, he squeezed his thighs together because the throbbing ache between them almost made him whine
"Would you like to taste my cookie dough? It's on the house"
> I love the-the chunky cherry bits
You can't even sound like a man when talking about ice cream. Sad!
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> I learned it from the chef I was dating for a bit. He taught me how to make a few dishes
Now Viktor has a little 'hallelujah' moment because Jayce, as it turns out, likes cock AND vagina! But mostly vagina. We don't know if this chef was male or was another 'man with a vagina'.
> Did you think that you'd just spent an entire night on a date with a straight man?
You are attracted to someone who has a vagina. I am sure he doesn't know Viktor is trans because that shit remains in the closet until it comes time for sex, and then instead of having the human reaction of being betrayed, they just go along with the free pussy. Jayce's bisexuality remains contingent on him sucking and liking dick; if he doesn't, then he isn't bisexual or gay at all, just straight with a different label.
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> So I like men
You exclusively fucked pussy, though. I doubt any tongues made it near the vicinity of your ass.
> So hot you make me feel dizzy
> I wanted you from the moment I saw you
You'd think he was talking about prime Cindy Crawford or Yasmeen Ghauri, but no. It's a skinnier Twiggy with zippertit scars. Angelina Jolie with Jon Hamm's face. Oof.
> For whatever reason, he was attracted to Viktor
Spare me your Taylor Swift characterization. 'Oh I'm SUCH an ugly duckling how can a hot man like me?' Enough. He made a pornographic moan after drinking boiling hot Chinese soup. I think he's DTF.
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> I shouldn't have assumed
Does he even know you have a vagina? You clocked him for being 'gay' but not him being female?
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> Scared that you deserve better and I can't give it to you
If there was a better man, you'd get jealous and demand to fight him.
> He was so beautiful it hurt
You keep saying that, but all I see is an anorexic 40-year-old with zippertit scars.
> I'm not good at this
You don't say. This dialogue makes me think I'm in a Hannah Montana episode.
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> When even the mere mention of him liking Viktor had sent him into a panic
Very masc, having an anxiety attack upon learning someone likes you.
> Where would Jayce's treatment plans fit into that
??? You have treatment plans? Since fucking WHEN? You don't even take pain medication!
> If Viktor could barely hold his hand without running away
Neither of you can run, lmao. It's also your first date, relax.
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> Can I hold your hand?
If you want to write men, just have the man grab their hand. It's not like you're doing anything out of order.
> Their fingers fit together just right, despite the size difference
His Size 4 hands are just perfect in those giant yaoi hands.
> I guess there is a reason romance books do not mention how hard it is to hold someone's hand and use a crutch at the same time
I guess there is a reason why these fics try so hard not to sound like your basic heterosexual Hallmark movies and end up ticking off every box on why they're exactly the same.
> I'm so fucking scared I'm going to fall and take you with me
I'd actually laugh if that happened.
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> I live over half an hour away. I ordered an Uber, though
You'd think Viktor would've noticed him doing that on his phone, but no.
> He was so stunning he wanted to weep
You said that already.
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> He wished he could warm him up all over, until he was flushed and panting and breaking out a sweat
It's the first date and he already wants to fuck this 'ethereal' beauty, lmao
> There was a hint of vanilla in it, and something spicy that made him feral
That spice will bring out the inner Mestizo in any Mexican.
> He wondered if that's what Viktor would sound like when Jayce finally slid inside him, when he buried himself as far as he could go
Does he know Viktor has a vagina, or did he clock that he was trans from the first look and is fine - even happy - knowing he doesn't have to do as much work as he would with an anus?
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> He'd enjoy watching him fall apart on his tongue more than anything else in his life
...does he still know he has a vagina? I can't wait for that revelation. It'll go over smoothly as they always do, because having a man react poorly to their partner lying about their trans status is not allowed. That's literal genocide.

Nighogger has posted Chapter 2 of her Packer-on-Professor fic.
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> His hair tied in a small bun
That's only going to highlight his female skull. Even on men, you have to have a particular skull structure to rock one. Last I checked, he isn't Jin Sakai.
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The team being a para team explains why someone with an 'ankle problem' like him is able to swim. Now, is this team mixed-sex, or is it entirely male? If so, it's a fool's errand to pin your success on Jayce: he is biologically female, and FTMs have never stolen gold from men.
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> To his surprise, the door to Viktor's office opened in a matter of seconds when the other professor knocked
Real Dick Privilege coming in hot, I see. You are going to rock his world and make him yours with your *checks notes* 2 inch roid clit.
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> At any time he could have firmly put an end to their meetings and spoken to Jayce against it. He certainly was the type to speak up for himself
He later has the exact same internal monologue and wonders if Viktor likes him at all vs this hard-to-get game he's playing.
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> Immediately knew he was going to be irritated and anxious up until the moment he dove into the water
I guess that T hasn't fixed those mood issues, eh?
> For all Jayce knew, he was the only one who actually had feelings for the other party
You just had a monologue about how Viktor could have told you off and shut everything down if he was offended. Why are you having a bit about how selfish and arrogant you are when you're simultaneously having panic attacks?
> Did Viktor believe he'd treat him like a quick fuck, that there were no feelings involved?
That would require you having a dick to do any of that.
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> All their words did was make his anxiety worse
An FTM with anxiety? You don't say.
> Even when he'd been forced to wear swimming suits that made him incredibly dysphoric
The terror of night wearing swimming trunks. This person also wears a packer to give the illusion of having a penis.
> None of his teammates ever questioned the strips of tape on his chest nor the trans badge
Probably because if they did say something, they'd be thrown off the team the same way girls are when they question an MTF in their sport. They have to smile and nod and pretend that this is the MVP despite them taking testosterone - a banned substance that would lead to cheating allegations among actual men - and possessing a body that objectively makes them slower than men. Even among other disabled people, the disabled men still have an advantage. If he was competing against able-bodied men, he'd stand no chance.
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> He'd beaten all his opponents and gotten the best time among his team
Press X to Doubt. Now I want him to compete against Lia Thomas.
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> When he realized it wasn't a random stranger who entered his car, he took a deep breath and glared at Jayce
Just imagine a random Mexican entering a white (wo)man's car. That'd be such a terrible thing, wouldn't it?
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> What if I want it to happen again? Spend time with you, give you messages, make you feel good
This is supposed to be erotic and a story around forbidden love yet I feel absolutely nothing between these characters. They're acting like ornery lesbians.
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> Looked like he was on the verge of crying
Very masc.
> I will leave if you want me to. I mean it
You said that already.
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> He was hurrying
> They weren't frantic in their actions
You just wrote that they were hurrying, which means they are frantic.
> Both of his hands cupped his jaw
They're just uwu so smol.
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The final chapter will be the longest one. See you in five days.

This author, known for drawing a Latino as an Indian, now trademarks 'This work was written by a HUMAN and not AI!' as if that will elevate her work to 'gifted' status. It was gifted to someone named CJ, who really should've followed that train instead.
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> Submerging the hex crystal in saline solution
Nothing like dipping a radioactive substance into salt water. You're serving tea, alright Fukushima tea.
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> I'll just add a bit more cream and sugar
Spoiler: he was aware the tea was spiked because, lo and behold, you can taste fucking salt in it.
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> It's much to preoccupied with thoughts of sex than work
You won't be getting Mr. MS13 inches here. They are both roid clit owners.
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> Do you want me to suck you off
Yes, suck off that Jolly Rancher real good, son.
> I feel like I took triple my T dose
Weird how the magitech you created can't actually give you a penis. They are never willing to commit to the possibilities of actually using magic to changes one's genitalia to the set they want.
> Increased secretions
I Am Become Slug: the Squirter of Worlds
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> Pretty, swollen cock
> Inching closer and closer to his flushed cock but never touching it
It still hasn't grown more than two inches, lmao
> Watches his hole flutter
But did it flutter shyly?
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> The sound of Viktor's wetness echoes around the empty lab, a distinct sound that anyone would instantly recognize
If they are not cooking Chinese noodles or making Mac n Cheese, that's a pussy getting fingered.
> Touch my cock please
There's nothing to touch.
> Has never come from penetration alone
Oh I wonder why.
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> Shut up and start sucking my cock
> Sucks something the size of a Jolly Rancher with gusto
Sexy. Having something the size of a computer mouse ball roll across your face would leave much to be desired. Truly a mystery why penetration alone doesn't lead to orgasm.
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Aren't you glad human hands wrote this? AI could never achieve such human perfection.

"One Inch of Authority"
:story:

you can't convince me that this shit is anything but a parody shitpost
there's no fucking way this is sincere
MTFs tend to be more open about their titles and the contents therein. You see no hand-waving, no attempts to dump glitter or add philosophy to their work. "Yeah, this character takes a massive shit and someone else huffs it" is how they respond. It's a shrug and a 'it's not that deep, bro'. Even in the SRS thread, the ways they describe their nightmares is always done in the flattest, detached manner possible: 'I can't get my dilator in past two inches. What could be the problem?' They want their sexy goth girl baddies in Fallout and they enjoy prancing around in latex. When they enter a room, even metaphorically, you can feel their presence.

Meanwhile, FTMs will reference a Taylor Swift, Ethel Cain or Mitski lyric and proceed to write the most heterosexual omegaverse 'yaoi' you've ever seen, with vaginas 'drooling like dogs' and lines like 'it felt like a sexy poop/does buttsex take you to heaven'? They are obsessed with pregnancy and falling in love with your soul mate. They will stomp their feet and screech, 'IT'S THE CURRENT YEAR WHY ARE YOU BIGOTED, GOD' before crying when their fics get posted here.

With MTFs, they know it's a fetish and they know you can't do a single thing about it. With FTMs, they want to make it art, and enjoy ruining your hobbies because they are taking sexymen and turning them into pooners, and they also know you can't do a single thing about it. That said, futanari firmly remains in the male camp, because FTMs enjoy slapping vaginas on men, and not the other way around.
 
Our Bridgerton AU slowly ekes towards its finale. After a MGS3-style revolver fight and le epic assassinations, our poor princeling gets cowed into a corner from a group of conspirators who'd lose against a Down's Syndrome flute player.
After the chapter begins with a Shakespeare quote, Viktor is cornered by Salo, who is ready and eager to stab him to death. He talks about that 'poor rat', Amelie, who got her head caved in in the prior chapter, and how his men might be hiding in every corner, ready to take down his sisters even when he admits Powder has Ekko and Vi can fight for herself. That leaves him all alone, vulnerable with his beautiful pale skin, being lectured to by a man who says that Zaunites are just a labour force; that 'a crown with precious stones' gives them no power over Piltovans. Salo tells Viktor he belongs in the mines (real meme potential) and that there is no such thing as Zaunite nobility. Viktor disagrees, saying his title surpasses his, and that he is a prince of a rising kingdom. Salo, in a rage, punches the wall beside him in order to intimidate him, and that gives Viktor a moment to analyze him: his shoes have not been polished in quite some time, and his clothes look poorly tailored as if done by cheap labour. This leads him to conclude that Salo is a broke-ass nigga who is just lashing out at a usurper.

Salo talks like an NPC in this scene, going 'cursed Zaunite,' 'opportunistic Zaunite' like he has nothing else programmed. He takes his dagger and opens up Viktor's shirt; while Viktor knows that the corset will offer protection, he can still get hurt. Viktor tries to wrangle some information out of him by mentioning that his family owned mines in his kingdom before the war:
“Cassian Salo,” Viktor controlled his breathing, letting each word fall with weight, using the most cordial tone he could muster. “ “If I’m not mistaken, your family controlled some mines in my kingdom before the war…”

“They were my mines! My father bequeathed them to me after my older brother took the title of duke and left me with nothing but a seat in the House of Lords. But with you and your people withh nefarious ideas of equality, they took away what belongs to me…”

“Those mines and all those resources belong to the people of Zaun, not to vultures like you.”​
He then raises his foot and, in a classic MMA move, slams it into Viktor's bad lag, snapping it like a dry branch and sending our poor prince to the floor. He yanks his hair, arching his neck violently, and presses the blade to that pretty white throat. He tells him that his natural place is on his knees, looking up at men like him, because he is a lowly rat. I don't think this author realizes there are far more creative insults than 'rat'; 'vermin' really hits hard because it's all-encompassing.

Salo starts to press the blade to Viktor's neck, and he realizes the only way to save himself is getting the villain to monologue. Salo does just that after Viktor says he's making a fool of himself: he says, again, that Zaunites with crowns are playing at princes while the loot what is 'rightfully his'. He vows to fix it, heading to war with the help of Ambessa's armies to take it back by force. It is extremely formulaic and tropey; whenever the villain starts monologuing, you know the story is in trouble.

Salo waxes poetic about how his line are the true nobles of Piltover and Zaun; how his family made the tough decisions while King Heimerdinger is senile and the Kirammans throw crumbs to the poor. He once again calls Viktor 'filthy' and just keeps monologuing.
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> You're broken, Salo. War isn't a means to an end. It's a necessity
One might say he's invested into a war economy.
> Shut up, you arrogant Zaunite, you know nothing!
This dialogue is either ripped from Metal Gear Solid, or from the final seasons of GOT. It's really that bad.
> He wanted to break him first, to humiliate him
Well he did just break your leg, so...
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> The firelight illuminated him at just the right angle to reveal the marks of Jayce's passion and devotion on his skin
Luckily he doesn't look below the belt or else that soggy pussy would've given it away.
> A second-rate noble who can't even afford a decent tailor or servants
This is the second time you've said that.
> The kings would kill him if they found out their precious heir had been dishonored like some common whore from the slums
If Jayce is as rich as the author says he is (and before he wasn't; his family was really middle-class) then this isn't as big an issue because he's got money and it's still a union between the two parties. Silco did tell him that he wasn't there for romance but to be a 'piece on a board'; and did we forget that Silco didn't come from royalty, either? He was a crime lord. He literally gave himself that title.
> A martyr always motivates the rats better
Take a drink every time he says that. That is the fourth time he's said it.
> The cane clattered against the wooden door
He already threw his cane away. Did it reappear at his side.
> Her weight
Uh oh, we have an accidental misgendering!
> It wasn't a deep cut
> It punctures his ribs through the corset and blood gushes out
Lol. Lmao.
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> You still think you're superior because they put a crown on your head
You said that already.
> Cheap meat from the mines. Your blood will always be filthy
This is the third time he's sad that.
> Like the rat that you are
Drink.
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Viktor manages to hobble out of that situation and into the arms of Powder and Ekko. He needs a doctor, but the only one is in on the plot, so they have to fix Viktor's injuries themselves. Servants watch them hobble past - the entire incident happened in the royal chambers, how convenient - and Powder tries to keep Viktor awake. They prop up his legs and remove his clothing; for some odd reason, Ekko says the wound 'isn't that deep', but that it nearly 'hit an artery' and that's why there's so much blood. The problem is, the knife didn't hit a major artery; it grazed his ribs and nearly punctured his lung.

Vi walks in and notices the severity of the issue, and goes back to get better bandages. She places pressure on the wound and tells him to breathe slowly to ease his heartrate. He is too injured to attend the Council meeting and present evidence of the plot (and let's be honest, their plan was retarded from the get-go. The Frowning Friends could've just said they planted evidence, rather than take it to Lady Masemar herself who could've spread the truth in writing). Viktor's last gasp before he passes out is to send Jayce a letter demanding that he come - unaware that he's injured, too. Fun.

We cut to the first solo scene with Mel, who is in her guest house and is rather forlorn. She briefly talks to Elora about how things will get better after the 'plan' is completed, before Ambessa bursts in there and demands that Elora leave so she can talk to her daughter alone. As it turns out, this is a mini flashback to the revolver fight in the prior chapter; she says that once the duel is over, the issue of her marriage will be settled once and for all. To Mel 'dueles' - that's how the author spells it - don't settle marriage disputes but her mother couldn't care less. She heads off to shoot Jayce with an extended mag (which would only make sense if she had an eight-shooter and not the traditional six-shooter), leaving Mel alone again with Elora.

Mel notices that Elora has packed her bags and is ready to leave. Why, you might ask? Well the author is trying to get Mel out of the way of her yaoi by pitching her with Elora - a ship no one likes anyways - by sending her to another kingdom. Their desire is 'in the darkness', despite there being no chemistry between them whatsoever. But no, in a flashback after her debut, she rejected a Noxian suiter her mother forced on her, and she had a full mental breakdown in the privacy of her chambers. Elora was there to comfort her and even kissed her, and that's what set off their discreet affair. Turns out Mel is also a broke-ass nigga because she lost nearly all of her money in a bad investment and had to do skeevy things just to get her prestige back.

It took until Chapter 12 just for this author to elaborate on these two. She writes that Elora knew Mel's heart was reserved for her even when her body was promised to another, and that she would always return to her in her bedchambers after every man she shot down. Mel would sabotage these proposals by rumour, a forged letter or a convenient migraine just so she could go back to her lady-in-waiting. Mel tells her that for seven years she has turned down every powerful man in existence just so she could be with her, because Elora is the only one who sees her for what she is. She tells her it's one thing to be a secret lover, but another to be a secret lover of a wife, due to societal expectations and bindings that would make their affair more scandalous.

Mel asks Elora if she really planned to leave without telling her. Elora responds that it would've been easier because of everything that's happening. She admits she couldn't stand to see her 'wither away with the Viscount' and promptly leaves. Mel watches her go, silently telling herself that she still has her surname and honour, but it doesn't do any good. Their impromptu romance plot ends, with a single mention in Chapter 12 after multiple chapters shitting on Mel and painting her as the villain in the way of the yaoi ship.

We then cut back to Jayce, who is being treated by Tobias. As he's getting the bullets plucked out of his shoulder, Cassandra bursts into the room, and Cait is there trying to tell her that there's a conspiracy and she needs to listen. Cassandra does not believe Cait and views the accusations against the Frowning Friends as high treason as there is 'no evidence' of their crimes. Jayce interjects, saying there is a letter showing such, and Cassandra approaches him, asking who wrote it. Before he can explain, a messenger interrupts them with a letter from Viktor. Once he realizes that the message was written in haste, the air leaves his lungs, and he knows something is wrong. He tells Cassandra he has to go to the palace, but she orders him to stay put. He cannot believe her reaction; by contrast, she tells him he can't barge into court like it's a marketplace thanks to a letter with no proof of signature.
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> I am a viscount and one of the most respected members of the entire kingdom
Funny how it took until Chapter 12 for this fact to be stated, because you've never used that influence a single time.
> It is treason. And treason is punished with exile, if you're lucky
Viktor was accused of poisoning the king and was never thrown in prison or tortured; the death penalty is clearly out of bounds for a trans character.
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> You'll enter as a nobleman with a formal accusation, and if you truly have evidence, the session will drag on, without recesses
Their entire plan was to catch the doctor poisoning the king, present said act to the Council, and then argue that he was the one poisoning him. They argued they had to wait for the king to nearly die for their 200 IQ plan to work.
> Mrs. Babette
She's being educated by the brothel-owning yordle? OK.
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> Viktor was pale, motionless, his torso bandaged and the fabric stained red
So it's just your average look. BTW, it wasn't written as a 'shallow dagger wound'. It pierced his corset and landed in his ribs, but somehow narrowly missed an artery even when his neck got nicked. At worst, he has a punctured lung. At best, he bleeds profusely because he's anemic and is weak because his tibia got snapped in half. That is an injury you SHOULD be focused more on.
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> I missed the chance to catch Bolbok poisoning the king
Their entire plan was to count on Viktor catching Bolbok in the act as if Bolbok couldn't simply say the Zaunite prince was doing it instead because he had a bone to pick with him. Really, it's that easy, especially since he was initially accused of poisoning the king himself. Guess we forgot about that plot point.
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> It's not something we could have controlled
Technically, it's something that could have ended differently had you not been so retarded about this. Your entire plan was doomed from the get-go. Should've hired yourselves some spies and lawyers.
> If my father had come in my place, everything would be fine
Hey, whatever happened to that magic Hermes pen? Guess we totally forgot about that.
> I knew it wasn't a coincidence
Learn about how these two are totes soul mates because Viktor slimed a cop as a child.
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> That child was me, and that I've spent years searching for my saviour, because for the past fifteen years I haven't stopped thinking about him
Why does this read like a Kamala Harris speech.
> Since then, I haven't been able to stop looking for you
Huh. Interesting how this only came up once or twice if this was such an important plot point.
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> Did you really spend fifteen years looking for me?
Yeah, he just told you.
> There is no one else for me but you, and now that I've finally found you, there's nothing that will separate me from you
Sounds awfully 🌟HETEROSEXUAL🌟
> Many suspected she was a witch, or a social climber who used her artistic talents to embellish anyone
A black woman is a social climbing witch? That's not very woke of you.
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In the prior chapter I said Cassandra was Lady Masemar because of the cloak she wore. I was wrong; turns out my original hunch was right and it was Shoola all along, due to context clues and her being in convenient places. The author wanted people to be surprised at this revelation.
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> My wife was a foreigner
Jayce later asks if his wife was a foreigner, lmao.
> You will end up forging weapons to destroy the kingdom of the one you love
> Doesn't forge any weapons
Yeah, the Hextech plot is secondary, if it exists at all. Only two chapters have gone into it in-depth. The romance plot takes center stage.
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> My parents will demand formalities if we wish to marry right when something delicate is happening
Yeah proposing when the king of a rival kingdom is on the verge of death is rather inappropriate, don't you think?
> When Hoskel and Salo discovered her identity, they told her about their Machiavellian plan to achieve the annexation of Zaun
Well they certainly didn't think like Machiavelli. In fact, they're acting like it's an Uwe Boll plot down to the hammy dialogue.
> Madame Ceasarine was??
Yeah? She just told you?
> I was struck by his beauty at first. My intention was to get to know him simply from two souls meeting
"Now we're soul mates and I snagged that soggy pussy. We're gonna save the kingdom, guys."
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Proposing to someone right in the middle of a murder plot isn't the greatest idea, who knew? Also note how Shoola has never mentioned or used her powers of the media to talk about Heimerdinger's health once. They really walked into this shit storm.
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Shockerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr that this Frowning Friends plot went into their favour. Now there's going to be a war for the succession and Heimerdinger's kids are not going to get there on time. What will our soggy pussy prince do? Mope in bed, or somehow prove that he didn't kill the king?

Oh, did you know the author has a TikTok now talking about this fic? Don't spam stuff about soggy pussies, that's against TOS.

This next fic is a combination of 'Eight Legged Freaks' and 'The Odyssey'. Observe sincere, written-with-a-straight-face lines such as these:
- His slit as pale and smooth as the moon reflected in a tranquil lake
- That rich, musky cunt he’d never tire of, no matter how often he took it.
- Would both his holes be just as tight, if not tighter, having lain in waiting, so cruelly abandoned?
- gasped as if he’d forgotten how generously endowed his lover was, licking his lips nervously. The member now pushing against his brace-clad thigh left sticky trails of pre-come across his skin, speckling his white legs with milky droplets.
- And you will spare me then, oh my kind patron? I won’t be on my knees for you, on this wooden bench? On your cock, letting you have your way?
- swollen manhood between them like an uncollected gift, desperately pulsing, with nowhere to push. Just that pearly promise of release, oozing from its crimson tip.
- It all sang of unity, of the celebration of masculine love.
- This cock belongs to me!

This little arid arachnid tale will leave you shivering, with a good dose of monsterfucking a slave boy with a 'slit as pale and smooth as the moon reflected in a tranquil lake' getting dumped full of bronze age semen. Honor your pagan gods by deflowering a trans man and siring eight legged anchor babies today!
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> They weren't willing to see how he could still wear the deep blue of the Temple maiden
More like they're wondering why a woman is pretending to be a man yet still insists on wearing the garb designated for temple maidens. Even eunuchs committed to the bit for their gods!
> His slender, pale fingers to take Jayce's stronger, bronze hand in his
He's just uwu so smol.
> Viktor had been born weaker than most
And, miraculously, was not a victim of infanticide even when we have evidence that deformed babies were euthanized shortly after birth. Doubly so that he was born female.
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> Truly seeing
You could cut this sentence entirely and the paragraph would remain unchanged.
> Nor when Jayce found that his companion had a tight, slim quim underneath his fastenings
'Quim' is an old word for cunt, in case no one has heard that term before.
> His slit as pale and smooth as the moon reflected in a tranquil lake
Ladies, is your pussy as pale and smooth as the moon reflected in a tranquil lake? Does it get soggy and drool like a dog? You might just be trans.
> Homerdinger
Lol, it's a portmanteau of his original name, but with 'Homer' instead. How quaint.
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> Feel that soft pale skin
That soft pale skin is going to get sunburned in the Greek sun. BTW, he's Bohemian in this, and outsiders are treated as slaves. There is only one mention of him being a slave; somehow, his status means he can be the maiden of a Greek temple. Must be nice having foreigners take your jobs, huh?
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> The measure of it, all of it. May it fit itself within the confinements of the measurements of my love for you
"I want to know the measure of your love so it can fit within the measurements of my love" - What, are we at Home Depot? Do you need a ruler? This author is trying to evoke 'The Song of Achilles' and you are NOT at that level, girl.
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> Pressing against the smaller youth's parted lips
He's just uwu so smol.
> I am a slave, in all but name, yet bought and sold all the same
?? You are a foreigner; of COURSE you are going to be a slave in every sense of the word. If you are bought and sold, you're a slave.
> You are MINE
Did you pay for him? You know you can actually do that, right? You could petition his owner and offer to take him off your hands.
> The delicate frame of his boy
He's just so pale and fragile. Look at that hairless quim shivering with how small he is, uwu.
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> Make something of myself, despite my inclination to idle
He is not an idle person. This is just an OC with his name attached.
> Raise us from those ashes my will alone, until we are free from any shackles
Just use that rich boy bucks and buy him. You know you can do that, right?
> A world in which he stood proudly alongside his beloved, hand in hand, presenting their academic findings to their tutors
They are less likely to accept his findings as a woman than they are with him being a foreigner. One could argue they are just playing around because they know he isn't a man and are basically reducing him to a shrine maiden's role.
> It is you who confused and bewitched me, you cunning thing
It seems the 'cunning thing' in question is his cunt.
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> Writhing in Jayce's strong arms like Daphne in Apollo's grasp
Get it? Because he's just a dainty white (wo)man with a cunt like the moon reflected off a lake. Isn't he just so pale and fragile?
> The stern sharpness of his boy's features transformed so profoundly, as if Jayce's ministrations tamed him
Lmao, what 'stern sharpness'? You can't stop talking about how pale, fragile and dainty he is.
> Subduing him with the promise of his love
This can be cut or, God forbid, use a semicolon.
> The little nymph I've caught
Nymphs are female. Congrats on having other characters misgender your True and Honest Man at every turn.
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> Finding the boy's firm cheeks, engulfing them, kneading and spanking the firm, small globes
What small globes? He doesn't have an ass.
> That rich, musky cunt he'd never tire of, no matter how often he took it
Very homosexual, talking about how that cunt is musky and is as pale and smooth as the moon in a still lake. I'm not getting over how fucking ridiculous that is.
> Had Viktor been faithful to his oath, keeping his chastity?
No? Not when Mr. Bronze Age Pervert here is opening both holes so you could play an oboe with them.
> Would both his holes be just as tight, if not tighter, having lain in waiting, so cruelly abandoned?
I don't know about you, but they didn't have anal tightening surgeries back then. It is very Athenian to talk about busting boy asses with your 'girth and length' of your member.
> When he had made his boy bleed
Your 'boy' should've have bleed from that smooth, pale moon cunt. The ass? That I can believe.
> Slick, scalding slit
> He felt that velvety, vice-like cavern tighten around his intrusion
> Fuck into that waiting cunt
With language like that, maybe Ancient Greek women would've had more rights, but no.
> Remain as gentle as one would handle a delicate butterfly
He's just so pale and delicate.
> Gasped as if he'd forgotten how generously endowed his lover was
Not all fics use 'Jayce has a large penis', but it's more than 200. He always has a horse cock while Pale and Fragile here has a cunt as pale as moonlight.
> Left sticky trails of pre-come across his skin, speckling his skin with milky droplets
You'd think we were at a strudel factory with how his dick is being described.
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> Heimerdinger
She can't even keep the name right. It's 'Homerdinger'.
> And you will spare me then, my kind patron? I won't be on my knees for you, on this wooden bench? On your cock, letting you have your way?
This is a real line.
> Jayce's swollen manhood between them like an uncollected gift, desperately pulsing, with nowhere to push. Just that pearly promise of release, oozing from its crimson tip
All that to say it's throbbing like a hotdog and is about to burst in the Greek sun.
> Guiding it to the warm lips, engulfing his girth with the hunger of a siren
If you've ever played God of War on the PS2 and seen how big those siren's mouths are...yeah, it'll take it no problem. Pic related:
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> Kissing that unyielding bud inside of his boy, feeling it with his hardened head, nudging it with every thrust, until it too gave way for his phallus
...are we talking about the cervix, here? Because that isn't getting penetrated unless you want him screaming so loud he'll summon Persephone.
> A path so small and uncharted, it cost both of them sweat and tears to allow Jayce this final prize
...we're talking about cervical penetration, aren't we?
> The explosive gush of spend caused a small shock to Viktor's sex each time anew
Surprised Jayce isn't himself a slave of some sort, given that he produces enough sperm to put a bull out of a job.
> As his hips devoured that delicious cock still so achingly hard inside of him
His hips have become vaginas, now?
> Just be to be able to watch his boy's open, moist cunt grinding down on his length once more
> Boy
> Cunt
Uh huh.
> Nnnh ah
All that purple prose and THIS is your sex talk? Sad!
> Forever maiden in flesh, never closer to the manhood he longed for
Every time you get fucked in that moon-pale vagina takes a point off that manhood. Maybe if you're lucky, the Greeks will start calling you 'pit assed' once your other hole gets filled in.
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> Speared open as if on an altar
> Impaling his cunt so shamelessly, he was a man
There's an inherent contradiction in this sentence. I'll give you a clue what it is.
> Here the people simply refused to accept his name or personhood
Oh I wonder why the 'man' who gets his cunt impaled isn't treated or seen like a man by misogynistic Greeks? Such a goddamn mystery!
> It all sang of unity, of the celebration of masculine love
Nothing more masculine and homosexual than spearing open a vagina that is described as 'smooth and pale as the moon' in an attempt to convince the vagina owner they're actually a man.
> Using his right hand to grip the slick cock, guiding its head towards his anus
Well thank God for that squeaky, slug-like, moon-pale vagina, else I would've said you needed lube for such a well-endowed lover.
> This cock belongs to me
This is a real line.
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> Well..all oh fuck...fuck
They sure are waxing poetic for anal.
> He allowed himself to be open, soft and vulnerable around the much taller and stronger young man
You mean you're allowing said stronger man to open YOU up. Those holes are taking more spears than the Spartans at Thermopylae.
> Letting go of the rules he knew to be firm and true, and acted towards Jayce as an equal
Shouldn't it be the other way around? Jayce is Greek (allegedly). He's not a foreigner, a slave or a woman. Shouldn't HE be treating Viktor as an equal, as Viktor is the oppressed class?
> Lithe figure
He's just uwu so smol like those Athenian boys.
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> Until his large, callused hands made Viktor's body sing and twist
I'm waiting for the inevitable 'his waist was so small his thumbs met in the middle'.
> Viktor's frailty
Here we go with the 'pale and fragile' shit again. In real life, especially back then, he'd be dead before he reached his twenties. That is implying they wouldn't just kill him outright for being born deformed.
> Feeling Jayce's hardness - still so achingly firm and rigid inside of him
The man already came but that ass is so good he's at full mast again.
> They weren't master and servant
Correct. The white one is a slave.

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A gigantic spider that belongs in Resident Evil is watching two people have anal sex. I bet it wishes it had a camcorder to start the Greek version of OnlyFans. BTW, these spiders are the ones who are going to give our temple maiden - er, man - a good dicking down.

Recall that Viktor still wears the garments of these Spindle-Mistresses and wonders why the men on that island don't see him as a man. Might have something to do with you not leaving your female role as a shrine maiden, but that's just me.
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> Three selected young women
They aren't choosing men? Even the spiders are TERFs, what fucking bigots.
> Both his mothers
The Bohemians don't believe in fathers, now?
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> Found no other option but to part ways with the confused maiden who cut off her sacred braid
> Longs for a male appendage and stomps her feet when the other worshippers don't believe that their fellow maiden is a man
> Takes black spider venom in order to raise their testosterone levels
> Leaves the female-led cult, joins the world of men, is still not accepted
> Feels repulsion and disgusted at men in their natural habitat, noting it 'falls short' of what they dreamed of
Lol. Lmao. You want to play in a man's world, you're gonna have to learn how to act like one. And no, getting speared in your moon-white vagina is not 'masculine.' It's basic reproduction, you retard.
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> Cursed and blessed is the child of two women
...was one of them in possession of a penis?
> A Saint
Saints are a Christian creation. This is a pagan religion. The monsterfucker can't even get her religions straight - and that is on top of mentioning 'Rome', when it wasn't even founded yet. Purple prose can't save shitty worldbuilding.
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> He had seen them forgetting it was play, and mauling their mortal carer to death
And that didn't traumatize you because...? You are literally breeding black tigers from Resident Evil who can spit acidic venom. What makes you think they're family pets?
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> Maternal instincts
You want to be a man to the point you wish for the gods to give you a 'male appendage', yet your 'maternal instincts' work as intended. Pick a struggle.
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> I know you were...different back then
You are still fucking the same vagina. And the man STILL has a rock-hard erection despite a spider the size of a horse behind them. They were having this entire conversation while having anal sex, btw.
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> The caves. The abyss
You gonna find Artorias down there? Because the way this plot is going, it'd be more believable if you DID find him down there.
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> We might have to carry it
*The man will. Because identifying as a man won't give you bigger muscles, doped up on spider venom as you are. There's no Peter Parker coming out of the closet here.
> Softer now, after the years in the academy, but still so very different from anything he had ever heard
A few notes:
- Viktor is originally from Bohemia, and would be seen as a foreigner. While Sophists could teach for a fee, he would be unable to be a Sophist as he was sold as a slave. He is not free nor a citizen, and therefore cannot teach.
- Viktor is female and society knows it. He would be barred from entering the academy entirely unless he crossdressed.
- He is a slave, but also a maiden of a sacred cult.
- The language he is speaking to the spiders sounds like Czech, a language that evolved from the earlier Slavic languages. These spiders would technically be from the Caucasus. The worldbuilding gets worse.
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> Would you still recognize me if I were an animal
AKA 'would you still love me if I were a worm'?
> I AM scared right now, in fact
I love how they both started off speaking like Shakespeare and after their anal session they start talking normally. Logic.
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Weird how the spider has a SLAVIC name (it's literally Czech for spider) in GREECE.
> His beautiful boy weighed almost nothing
You don't say. He's not the one babying the spider - you are.
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This sacred practice involves sending young women to their deaths as a means to keep the spiders underground. These women are raped - and I assume they are, to take a page out of Berserk - and then eaten. Viktor thinks that he has avoided this because he chose his 'true path', even when he spoke to the spider because of his maternal instincts. Clearly, with the tags, he's getting that moon-pale vagina stuffed with arachnid dick.
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> It would be better to embrace the old ways as the Gods intended
You are literally having sex the way the Gods intended. The anal sex part is just due to you having a 'bonus hole' and Jayce tapping into his inner Athenian.
> These creatures aren't evil
They rape and devour nubile women, and only women. Which includes you, moon-pale vagina. I'd say they're evil; and the worst part? They're actually an invasive species.
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> Our people were united once, yours and mine
You're from Bohemia. This takes place in Greece. You don't even share a fucking landmass. The distance between the two nations is 1295 km or 805 miles.
> The salt water is dangerous to him
So how come these giant spiders that can grow larger than a bull are living in an environment that is inherently dangerous to them? It's almost as if they are not native to those islands and were imported there. They're literal illegal spider immigrants.
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> This tunnel isn't meant to be used by anyone. Only for fishing
So it IS used by people, but just for fishing. Also, this author spelled 'descent' 'decent'.
> My mothers would walk with me, one of them climbing down first, the other following with me on her back
This would imply that Viktor's parents are native to the island. How is it, then, that they are Bohemian? Did they marry Greeks and assimilate? Why is Viktor a slave when he's allegedly a natural born citizen? 🤨
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> More so thanks to the insatiable hunger of your loins
I'll say. That dick stayed hard inside that ass despite coming once.
> Getting on his tiptoes to kiss Jayce's nose
Viktor is 5'8. If he's on his tiptoes just to reach his nose, this implies he's 5'4 or something. Literally a head shorter, uwu.
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> The banishment, the fact that he chose to leave womanhood behind for a life he called truth
> Living the truth
You seem to enjoy the fact that you can split him apart with this 'truth' and that said 'truth' is as smooth and pale as the reflection of the moon in a lake. And to answer your question: no, it wouldn't be different because you'd be fucking the same vagina.
> A man in all aspects, not ifs or buts
He's such a man that you found a 'neat, tight cavern' that you convince yourself it's homosexual to penetrate. Said man wishes he had a dick so badly that he's willing to get fucked by spiders to get it.
> A man. Not a maiden. Never a maiden
Why did this 'man' get 'maternal instincts', then?
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> To him it felt at odds with the body and soul (he) knew his boy to possess. The word maiden fit nowhere. A troubling term misplaced and disrespectful
> Still wears the garb of a spider cult consisting entirely of women
> Is participating in a sacrifice done only to women
Fucking logic. Then we have a 'maiden' entering an Academy in a society that does not see him as male and would therefore restrict him from higher education on the basis of his sex. Topping it off with, 'men aren't allowed within the Temple walls' WHILE YOU ARE ENTERING THE TEMPLE WALLS YOURSELF means that he does not see himself as a man at all. That's a logical plot hole if I've ever seen one; you're a man until you want to enter a temple made for women, then you go back to factory settings.
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Yes, rest in a room filled with black mould. That'll do wonders for your health.
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He told you: it's done to keep the illegal immigrant spiders in their caves so they don't eat ethnic Greeks. It's only for women - er, male-designated vagina owners - to complete the ritual.

Next up: the Song of Achilles: Monsterfucker edition. Our 'never a maiden' who craves a phallo is about to get an arachnid dicking down.

stupidsarah, continuing her haybale ho trend, now gives us a new adventure she's really excited about: an 18-year-old prostitute fucking a 40-year-old trucker. The Ick Factor/DiCaprio rule does not apply when you're hot. She has a Spotify playlist for this fic as well, and wouldn't you know it, it's filled with Ethel Cain!
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Similar to her 'Buckle Up, Buttercup!' she reveals her esoteric knowledge of trucker lingo. It must be set in Good Ole America as I do not hear any Indian accents over the radio.
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"Lizards" here are prostitutes. This also might be set a few decades ago because lot lizards are an emblem of the past. Police crackdowns, rights groups, and the rise of online platforms like OnlyFans have supplemented these women's incomes. Many of these women, mind you, are victims of human trafficking.
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> Half Mexican on his mother's side
> His mother is buried in a Presbyterian graveyard
Ay caramba, she'd rather be taken out by the cartel. Getting a Mexican to convert to a PROTESTANT denomination is something Cortez couldn't even do.
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See point above: lot lizards have declined in number significantly due to awareness and changing rules around the exchange of sex. Why go into a trucker's parking lot when you can stay at home and have one subscribe to you?
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> He looks...well about his age
Forty years old and getting grey streaks, but the Ick factor does not apply when you are handsome. Rather, women will flick their roidal beans at the sight, because all that moral posturing about how 18-year-olds shouldn't get with older men are dropped the minute you look at what they write and bookmark.
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> Jayce has always found it odd when kids are working late nights at truck stops
In this economy, you take a job whenever you can get one. You're lucky it's not a Pajeet selling you cigarettes.
> Driving for a lifetime is a dangerous job
Indeed; you're competing with fellow drunk Mexicans and Indians who drill out holes in their seats to shit on the gears (that's real, btw). It's NASCAR combined with Mad Max.
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> A much smaller boy - a teenager, probably just past the cusp of being able to vote
> Barely looks a hundred pounds soaking wet
Sarah has a habit of feminizing Viktor, so it is of no surprise to me that she's decided to go the Shania Twain route again. He's fucking a literal twig, and you're supposed to think it's homosexual.
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> Wearing a baggy hoodie and dirty jeans, his blonde hair loose and messy around his shoulders
He's a prostitute yet he's dressing like a Tony Hawk skater? OK.
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You know what they say...equal rights, equal lefts, but you will never see a trans man get punched in the face by an actual man because that's violence against trans people. You will, however, see copious descriptions of how that pussy gets skewered by an 18-inch 18 wheeler dick, though.
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Don't worry, he picks him up in chapter 2.
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As if you needed the creep factor turned up a notch, Jayce will be dating and fucking someone a mere three years older than his teenage daughter. These are the same people who were screaming about Jay Chou meeting his future wife at 16.
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> There was a short period in his life where he was happy to settle down
> Didn't like being shackled to traditional, white-picket fence life, abandoned his wife and child to go trucking
> Shocked to discover divorce papers
> Didn't seek custody at all, because most men don't
> Hasn't seen his child in 13 years
This is a real case of deadbeat Mexican dad I've ever seen. Truckers have long hours and demanding jobs, sure, but he just refused to tell his wife that that was his career. FAFO.
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> He looks fairly angelic
He's as skinny as a methhead, what are you talking about
> Sweeps across his olive skin
He doesn't have olive skin. He's pale, white, alabastrine, swan-like and ethereal. Olive-toned means you have a tan. Olive UNDERTONE is different - is that what you meant?
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You're not allowed to smoke in communal showers, let alone a gas station.
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> I would tell you never to do this in your life, but I'm also a hypocrite
You're not wondering why an eighteen-year-old is a prostitute at a truck stop? Really?
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We get our classic 'two people eating in a shitty American diner' trope, right to the smell of the oil and the starched uniforms. They're a family-owned restaurant, but the decor looks disgusting and nasty and their clientele is only pull-overs from the trucking industry? No wonder they're getting bought out.
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I can already see her gray hair in a bun, weathered tennis shoes, and bad makeup. They're the same in every story, I swear.
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Of course you couldn't fight back. You're barely 100 pounds soaking wet, remember?
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> Jerk had a small dick anyways
Here we go. Of course when this 40-year-old whips out his stick shift, it's big and veiny and girthy enough to plug a gas pump. Gotta inject some dick jokes so you can get over the Ick Factor and embrace this hunky 40-year-old fucking a teenager.
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> I don't choke
Haha, get it? It's a phallic joke and he's eating phallic objects!
> Rather it be him than a creep who would kick him to the curb
You ARE a creep. The difference is, the women reading this are not triggered because the man doing it is attractive. If he wasn't, they'd be grossed out. It goes to show you they don't actually have a problem with age gaps like this when you have Pretty Penile Privilege.
> Nice to know what name to moan later
My bet is on them fucking in Chapter 4.
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Stay tuned for the next Big Rigs: Over the Ho installment.
Here's a little calming video after sitting through this dump.
 
I suppose it isn't surprising to see Everyone Has AIDS wrote a BDSM fic for a Dom Top week. What's a white virgin to do except head to a BDSM club and get 13 inches thrown in their face?
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> Despite being a bar, he was in a BDSM club, where the only alcoholic beverage available - wine - would be sold
Cheap wine and no drugs? What kind of BDSM club is this? It can't even be considered upper-end if there's no molly handed out from under the table.
> When they entered, they had to fill out a list about their sexual preference
> He was a total virgin
What's a 19-year-old, uwu tiny total virgin dood to do? He's going to a club like that dressed in jeans and a sweater; least you could do is dress up for the occasion!
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> Feeling attention and appreciation for his body, and freeing himself from shame was a pleasant prospect
You are 100% a man, yet are deeply insecure about your body, and need someone to validate and look you in the eyes and go, 'Yes, I see you as a man' in order for you to feel complete? How pathetic. These are the most pathetic, whiny, aggrandizing people on earth. They are whinier than Rabbi Schmuley, for fuck's sake.
> He put that he was a submissive, simply because he couldn't stand someone approaching him thinking he was the opposite
Yeah I wonder why people would look at you, a barely 100 lb, 5'0 guy in a sweater and jeans in a BDSM club and assume you were a dom.
> The precision of the brace's size also seemed greater, as if he had custom-made the brace
How come Sexy Cripple Man dressed up for the occasion and you didn't?
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> The way it pulsed with excitement between his legs as if a simple glance made him feel disgusted
Uh oh, that pussy is about to get soggy! And it's all from a damnably sexy Latino with thunder thighs. Woo wee!
> The drink had accumulated in his bladder
Blame your female physiology for absorbing alcohol quicker and your bladder for being 2/3rds smaller than that of a male.
> Many 'poor guys' came after him because they thought they had a better chance because he was disabled
> Some only appeared in secret because of his gender identity
You talk a big fucking game about how trans men are men yet when it comes time to writing one, you chicken out. The fuck you mean that this proud 5'0 dood with swagger can't get men openly saying they want to fuck him? What do you mean that they feel uncomfortable with male attention despite saying that they are male inside and out? You can't have it both ways. If anything, this shows that they are the losers in their own fantasies.
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> Doesn't understand why males get offended and aggressive when rejected
> Wants to be 'one of the guys' yet can't replicate their ego or understand how they work
> Brags about how they just have wounded egos and that he handles testosterone better than they do
> Author still doesn't fucking understand how male and female socialization works and just outs this person as the weak-willed woman trying to walk in a man's world, let alone the BDSM world
Pathetic. You can dose up on T all you want, but it doesn't make you a man, and that statement proves it.
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> He was much bigger, taller, and, in a way, elegant
Here we go with the yaoi body proportions.
> Remind his own body how much he normally hated being touched by strangers
Well at least we know we're dealing with an autist.
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> I thought you were adorable, so I decided to follow you
He's just uwu so smol.
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> Perhaps that man was too old and couldn't see properly
He's in his 30s? He's not as old as Chuck Schumer, geez.
> Or perhaps that man knew who Jinx was looking for, and that the person being sought was also looking for her
No shit, Sherlock.
> Intelligence can be measured by various parameters, and it's impossible to quantify one's general intelligence with a quick analysis
You can. How would you feel if you didn't have breakfast this morning?
> So what parameters do you think you wouldn't be?
Under what parameters are you a male? Two can play at that game.
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> Now that he noticed, he wasn't that taller than him
> Proceeds to compare their body differences: he's thinner, with smaller shoulders and nonexistent arm muscles; slender fingers that are tinier than the male's yaoi hands, and a smaller, more fragile female skull that sits on shoulders half the width of the male's shoulders.

I sincerely love descriptions like these. TRAs will tell you that you can't clock them and then proceed to list all the ways they are different from an actual male standing in front of them. Natural phrenologists.
> He had now discovered that he did, in fact, find it enjoyable to peek into other people's sex lives
So he's a voyeur.
> And you were so available and innocent...it's dangerous, you know?
He's just a tiny innocent trans man who needs a big, burly, Daddy Dom Latino to guide him and break that V card once and for all. Pic related:
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> Was it possible he was already drunk? Why was he so hot?
It's your female physiology, baby. Your liver is going to absorb alcohol quicker.
> Besides, it seemed easier to be accepted for his sexuality and gender identity in a BDSM club
> Previously complained about creepy men hitting on him and how he doesn't understand why males get mad when rejected
Lol. Lmao. It's easier not because they see you as a man, but because it's easy pussy.
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> Viktor wasn't the type to be intimidated by danger
You just had him talk about how he was freaked out and disgusted at men getting mad when he rejected them. You also had a big on how they viewed him as 'easy' because he was a disabled trans man. It sounds like you are the type to be intimidated, Chuck.
> So you're a little scientist, huh?
He just went on a mini-rant about The Bell Curve. You tell me.
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> Says imminent danger and risks taken were his middle names
> Had to be saved because he didn't use his voice to tell off a sexual sadist hitting on him
Yeah, that works. I guess he only gets his voice when he's talking to a hot person, eh?
> You must refer to me as sir. As your teacher, as your God
Jayviks love writing Jayce as a daddy dom who huffs and puffs like a prized breeding bull, when in reality he'd be happy to hop on the anal amusement park. You also have to love how this tiny trans man is going to be 'fucked properly' by an actual man as if that's the only way they learn their place. Always pay attention to what they write, and not what they say at face value, because they love talking out of both sides of their mouths.

Our omegaverse CEO AU is nearing completion. We are three chapters away from this Hallmark hetslop's ending.
We ended the last chapter with our alpha male dealing with the fallout of finding out he's a baby daddy and that the single mom working under him is his baby momma. Viktor delivered his resignation and will leave in September. Before we can have that clear cut ending, we have a series of crises befalling our dear omega: he suffers from the tuberculosis he contracted when young, leaving him a permanent user of inhalers (which was only just now mentioned), a pregnancy he did not want but endured anyways at great risk to his health, and now being faced with the fact that the baby daddy knows who his spawn is. He's been broken in more ways than one, but the biggest heartbreak comes when he gets a call from Benji's school: he collapsed and is now in the hospital. From what, you might ask? Some kind of omegaverse related anaphylaxis, or something. Benji needs his 'mommy' and Viktor is literally crying and shaking for his shitspawn.

Luckily, Jayce is there to save the day! He's a clear voice in the fog and offers to drive Viktor to the hospital as he is in no position to drive there alone. He's tense and panicking, too, but keeps it under wraps as they make the 17 minute drive to the hospital. When they finally arrive, they discover that Benji did indeed suffer from anaphylactic shock and had epinephrine administered. The reader is supposed to break down crying at the scene of him in an oxygen mask with electrodes dotting his chest, and empathize with Viktor as he has a maternal breakdown. To an outsider like myself, I simply do not give a damn. This character is so feminized as to be a female OC with his name, and I really don't care for the child character who only served as the catalyst for this male sexist to get his redemption arc. Omegaverse fans, however, are eating this up, as evidenced by the comments and hits.

Benji makes it out fine, but has to remain in the hospital for 24 hours. After crying and wiping his snot on Jayce's clothing, he asked what could have caused it. He lists off common foods he tolerates - milk, fish nuts - before it settles on a peanut bar he ate, half-finished when it was fished out of his pocket. Turns out Benji inherited it from Jayce, who is also allergic to nuts (he has no problem sharing his nuts with others, lmao). Viktor feels a tremendous sense of relief that his pup has not died and thanks Jayce for bringing him there. What better way than a medical emergency to bring two spurned lovers together?

Jayce says that it isn't an issue and that Benji is his son, too, causing our fragile omega - yes, he is called fragile again - to wonder if it was a bad idea to never introduce Jayce to his pup in the first place. He has a very masc mental moment on whether Jayce has changed and is worthy to be a baby daddy in his life:
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Here we go with the Taylor Swiftification of this character again. Over and over we've heard, 'Oh I'm too ugly to be loved, I'm too much of a cripple, he could never want me, he needs to find someone else', blah blah blah. Shut the fuck up. You're hyping up an anorexic scarecrow with 'ethereal beauty' lines like he's Gigi fucking Hadid.
> It wasn't about him. It was because of their son
Something something the male parent caring more about the male child over the mother something something
> Maybe Jayce wanted a child after all. Wanted to be a father. Maybe his instincts were telling him he would be good at it
Oh so NOW we stress the importance of instincts and passing on your fucking genetics in a method of reproduction our species has used for the past billion years. It floors me how these progshits will wail on about 'bioessentialism' and then sound like a eugenicist picking their designer babies in their omegaverse.
> He didn't want Viktor as his mate
OK, Taylor Swift.
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> Even if that pup's mother was someone as unpresentable, as undesirable, as broken as Viktor
If he fucked another cripple he'd likely leave them a single mother, too. The kid would have aggression issues and a nut allergy and then grow up to shove his nuts in other people's faces. I guess we forgot about the 'the son becomes the father' plot line when Ximena was afraid her son was just like her husband. Remember that speech? I do. But apparently, we're to believe he changed and that he's going to be a devoted father. The aggressive sexist 'tamed' by his pup.
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> It was how much thought he'd put into it. He was trying to provide comfort
None of that makes up for five years of lost child support.
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> He simply didn't know what role he was allowed to play
Wow, the alpha male who's used to getting everything handed to him on a platter and goes through life with ME ALPHA, ME TAKE OMEGA PUSSY, ME NO SPREAD MY GENES is now the confused Tarzan who's just now discovering how great human civilization is?

Also, Sky's OMG HE'S SO HOT is inappropriate when you are at your child's hospital bed. You are dealing with a distraught mother; save it for after the kid goes home, you callous bitch.
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Again, completely inappropriate reaction. She's spreading gossip and tea and Viktor is worried about the health of his mutt. Time and place.
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> You're gorgeous
He looks like a worse version of Brittney Spears, but go on.
> Your self-esteem is absolute trash, and you keep going for guys who are way below your league
This is a character that created a gravity bomb. He absolutely has self-esteem; he's just a workaholic loner. He's an introvert. That doesn't mean he's not confident.
> You'll make a pretty family
Jayce is nearing 40 years old. His sperm is shot. He'll be creating school shooters, not six figure studs.
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Uh oh...we've got a Strait of Hormuz incident on our hands...who could be responsible?
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That's right, it was Stinky Dmitri! The one who said that Viktor would never be accepted as a single mother and Jayce would react poorly to finding out he was a baby daddy. This was meant to cement him as Evil Villain Supreme, but was he wrong? Jayce is still very much a sexist asshole with temper problems who never should have passed down his genes, with his own mother worried about his constitution. But no, look at the shopping bags full of clothes and bunnies! He's changed!
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Looks like we're getting that white-picket fence, monogamous family in the 'burb HEA. Predictable right from the beginning.

prettybadmagic has published another one shot. Let's see how many pedophilic references she can cram into this one. Edit: there's one about parading a 17-year-old to marvel at his penis, but surprisingly, that's the only reference. The lines for this fic are:
- He navigates to the same sites as always and enters his preferred search terms: gay anal, gay blowjob, watersports. Gangbang, gloryhole, anal creampie. Throatfuck.
- he likes watching men with their asses filled and their mouths drooling around girthsome cocks.
- Does he know what guys whisper about girls who suck on their pens incessantly, who bring lollipops to class and deplete them, lick by agonizing lick? It is the act of a slut.
- He still has to get up to pee a lot, but usually he can't get aroused when his bladder is full, so a full bladder is a good boner prevention technique.
- The demon would do anything to keep his ass cheeks planted on the couch next to him.
- Nothing dramatic, but noticeable to his well-trained boner vision.
- His dick enjoys the act greatly, pounding and pounding like a gaseous star radiating pure energy.
- The mouth is a wonderfully wet orifice, the feel of which he mentally transfers to his dick
- He's working his hard dick the way he likes it. He's gonna make himself come.
- They involve smashing into the intended sexual target and shoving one’s dick inside as soon as possible.
- The way he rubs the cotton fabric against itself indicates this may not be his first cum-cleaining rodeo.
- Man receiving oral: “You like that cock?”
Man giving oral: “I like your cock. I love your cock.”
-
Cock is a better term when having sex. And sometimes it is deemed appropriate to call one’s sexual partner daddy
- He has already decided dick is one of his favorite flavors. This pleases him, as a dick enthusiast. A confirmation that he is indeed as homosexual as his porn habits would indicate.
- One minute the cock is in control, the next it’s flailing about, shooting hot loads of jizz
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> He likes watching men with their asses filled and their mouths drooling around girthsome cocks
There're those witticisms this author is known for. Girthsome cocks and sexy poops that might get you into buttsex heaven.
> Gay anal, gay blowjob, watersports. Gangbang, gloryhole, anal creampie. Throatfuck
AKA all the author's fetishes packed into one sentence.
> Viktor knows there are some religious factions that condemn masturbation, including Catholicism
Well thank God his atheism allows things like gloryholes and sexy poops, then.
> Does he know what guys whisper about girls who suck on their pens incessantly, who bring lollipops to class and deplete them, lick by agonizing lick? It is the act of a slut
They aren't doing it because they're phallic objects. Very feminist to suggest that the girls are sluts while the boys who sexualize them are just experiencing 'normal male sexuality'.
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> Having a low sensory input threshold and a penchant for confrontation
Interesting. What's his reaction to rap?
> With a penis that measures above average length
Well, thank God for that, then. Let me guess: Jayce is eight inches?
> The jocks did not get with Viktor. They called him cripple
I assume this takes place in the 2000s, because you'd be surprised how many 'cripples' work out at gyms.
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> He wonders if Jayce is gay and that's why things didn't work out with Mel
Black pussy so bad it turns men gay lmao
> Viktor felt like crying at that moment, his skull stuffed to the brim with wet, hot blush
Would you like a tissue?
> Touch Viktor, and he will not forget you
You have a sensory issue. Touching you would be like touching yellowcake.
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> I don't like girls
Yes, he had a Stranger Things moment.
> He didn't get girls because who would want someone so malformed
You clearly have not been on the monsterfucker side of your porn websites. A LOT of women are into deformed things, provided they're nice.
> He does not want Jayce to be grossed out by sitting next to him, worrying that he will grope or inflict himself in an unsavoury fashion
Oh? Are you suggesting gay men are sex pests, or something?
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> Gamecube
Yeah this is early 2000s. If it isn't, that Gamecube is already older than every teenager in that room.
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> A sleepover is a sacred rite. He can't let being gay and horny ruin it
I love the implications that a gay teen is a sex pest. Very, very revealing Ms. "Unblooded Girlchild'.
> Four pairs of boxers in case he jizzes his way through the first three
Wow, he might have Skinny Guy Syndrome: no meat on his bones except between his legs, and boy does he pump out more than he drills.
> Drenched warm trunks that suctioned his ample nether regions
We are talking about the eight-inch penis of a teenager, btw.
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> So a full bladder is a good boner prevention technique
This is a real line. It also taps into the author's known piss fetish.
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> I asked for the new Tomb Raider and she was like, what even is that?
If she's going to GameStop or BlockBuster to buy games, vs buying them online (and I am assuming this takes place in the 2000s as they play Wind Waker), she might not KNOW the IP, but she will know Lara Croft is the big titty adventurer.
> His shoulder nestles into Jayce's hot armpit
On top of the piss and shit fetishes, PBM is also into armpits. No Indians need apply.
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> Tell that to Viktor's dick
Luckily you packed four pairs of underwear so that you can jizz your way through them.
> The underwear sits low on her hips and indicates a lack of pubic shaving
Fun fact about that: Sigourney Weaver had a full bush during that scene and they painstakingly digitally edited it out. Only the newer versions have the original full bush. Not to mention, if you are popping a boner at Sigourney Weaver despite being 100% gay, you might just be bisexual instead.
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> Sympathetically, Viktor's dick twitches, the telltale signs it's going into overdrive
Looks like you hit his Devil Trigger.
> Gay equals pervert, pervert equals masturbation
I'm not the one arguing that gay teens have to tell themselves not to grope their male best friends.
> I like girls. But there are certain guys
Are we having a bisexual crisis?
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> He wants to jack off in the bathroom, and Viktor can't let that happen, not in this delirious state, occupied by a licentious demon that wears his skin like a jumpsuit. The demon would do anything to keep Jayce's ass cheeks planted on the couch next to him
Are you suggesting that you're a sex demon? Very progressive for a gay teen to think about.
> He never considered that Jayce might be insecure about sexual acts
You did, though. Earlier in the fic, you made a mental note that he was against masturbation because he was Catholic.
> A dick for brains, as they say
Very poignant.
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> It's like you said - it's an instinct, right? Like we're born with it. It's biology
Oh so NOW we take it seriously. Funny how that never occurred in the fics involving 13-year-old Jayce punching Viktor in the stomach or being a rapist, or the prior BDSM fic that had our Latin Lover nearly become a rapist. It's just biology, bro.
> It seems crazy that Jayce is beholden to these spirits when he is an accomplished scientist himself
You will never guess what religion the discoverer of the Big Bang theory had. Also, since when are they college students? He's still living with his mom?
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> Nothing dramatic, but noticeable to Viktor's well-trained boner vision
This is a real line.
> He wants Jayce's dick on the lab table, labelled for clarity's sake. He wants Jayce stripped nude and showcase at the head of the classrom
...I do hope they're at least college students here, because if they aren't, that's weird as fuck to parade a naked young teenager in a classroom so you can marvel at his penis.
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> An interesting act of lip enmeshment that tastes of grease, soy, and spit
So the bottom of a sink drain.
> His dick enjoys the act greatly, pounding and pounding like a gaseous star radiating pure energy
...interesting metaphor if I've ever read one. A dick like an exploding star? OK.
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> The mouth is a wonderfully wet orifice
Well, yeah. It's meant to help break down food.
> The feel of which he mentally transfers to his dick
This is a real line.
> He's working his hard dick the way he likes it. He's gonna make himself come
Another real line.
> Namely that his dick is out and he's holding cum-soaked garbage
The fact he jizzed on cheap napkins from greasy Chinese food seals the deal. What a mental image.
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> He tells himself not to cry
Very masc.
> I think, same
Every fic has this guy talk like a Valley Girl. Seriously. Like, he always, like, goes like this, like?
> Like I was just making up the attraction part
You just had your friend jerk you off. I think you've crossed the Faggot Rubicon.
> They have committed sexual behaviour with one another, which would indicate that a new world is open to them: sex with another person
This reads like something David Attenborough would narrate.
> The sooner they can involve their genitals the better
Real lines, yo.
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> What if I can't get hard?
You just did. Easily. Handily (hehe). You twirled your best friend's hair in a non-platonic way. You have The Touch.
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*LEGOs
> He hoists himself up on his tiptoes
Damn, he really is a head shorter, lmao
> They need to be kissing again right now. Fuck!
What a way to showcase the urgency of the situation. Any slower and they won't get into buttsex heaven.
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> Only from independent research
Jayce only asks later what he means by that, and he admits that porn grosses him out. Nothing like a gay teen who grew up with it to teach him the ins and outs of it.
> They involve smashing into the intended sexual target and shoving one's dick inside it as soon as possible
Another real line.
> But the build-up isn't very clear in porn either
I assume this is early Internet porn, because there actually was some form of a storyline before the porn happened. Gonzo porn is the one that cuts directly to the act. Dial-up Internet didn't provide high quality shit, either.
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> Like, you're the first guy I've even kissed
Like, and you did it without listening to, like, Davie Bowie? Wow, like, dude, so lame.
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> Another bit of gooey inaction passes
Gotta melt down that Twix dick vein somehow.
> The agonizing contact of their erections in their pants
This is a real line.
> He wants it to be like blowjobs of the face
??? Huh?
> The contact of palm to nipple launches Viktor's cock into shocked rigidity. As hard as he gets
Would you believe he's smaller than his pet Latin Lover? I bet you're not surprised.
> Oh oh oh
Any louder and he can be a background singer for 'Imagine Dragons'.
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> Are you coming
> He did not see that coming
OK, I laughed.
> Distracted by the squishy sensation of cum in his underwear
At this rate he could caulk a bathroom with it.
> This may not be his first cum-cleaning rodeo
Thanks, I'm using that.
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> He kind of thinks he has an ugly body
> People call him 'Viktor Skellington'
Gay guys might like twinks, but they don't like fucking skeletons. They'll be swiping left
> Gets the first glimpse of his dick. It's thicker and longer than Viktor's
You don't say. The few times he does have a penis, it's always a pencil dick, while the brown man has one hanging down to his knees.
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> Jayce is now privy to Viktor's expansive horniness
> It sinks in as he lies prone between Jayce's ginormous, hairy quads
All of these are real lines and the author thinks she's quirky with them. She remains the Colleen Hoover of this fandom and I will forever stand by that.
> Looks like a guy in a centerfold, with the big balls and big dick to match
Meanwhile White Skellington over here has tiny balls, tiny hands and only an above average dick (meaning maybe 7 inches). Losing even in the dick department. Sad!
> I love penises
You don't say.
> Cock is a batter term when having sex. And sometimes it is deemed appropriate to call one's sexual partner daddy
Another real line. I wonder why incest is crossing a line here when you had a 13-year-old be a rapist in another fic, but whatever.
> He has a real live dick in front of him
Gay men like cock, news at 11.
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> He thinks it's rather feline, like he's grooming his fur
He kinda is, given how hairy his thighs are. He would be if he didn't shave his balls.
> Viktor has already decided dick is one of his favourite flavours
> This pleases him, as a dick enthusiast
You don't say. That meaty taste of man wasn't enough of a clue?
> Jayce is so big he's hard to manage
*Insert joke here on how brown men are allegedly larger than white men*
> It's up to his mouth to keep that thing in control
Another real line.
> Semen is disgusting. In case you were wondering
So is pedophilia. Semen can be cleaned up with soap. You? A rope.
> One minute the cock is in control, the rest it's flailing about, shooting hot loads of jizz
Looks like it's engaging in Operation Cock Promise. Any farther and that cum is hitting Dimona.
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> Wipes his hand on his hairy thigh
Hey, least you got a handy towel.
> Real live sex beats porn by a million miles
That's the first actual progressive thing I've heard this author say.
> Pinned beneath him as evidence that Viktor is capable of coupling with a beautiful jock
He isn't a jock. He's an athletic nerd; they exist. Dolph Lundgren has an IQ of 160.
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> He does not have the faculties to contemplate his own sexiness
Because you aren't. You're 'Viktor Skellington', remember?
> Better to do it fast and get it over with or his dick might quit
It's done pretty well considering it already ejaculated once.
> Then I'd get these huge boners at night. I wondered, like, what sex would be. Right now I'm thinking about butts
You might, like, just be, like, bisexual, like.
> A position that calls to him, commanded by his inner alien
The xenomorphs had larger secondary mouths than the thing he calls his penis, lmao
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> It's his first time sucking cock, and Viktor is the expert here
You both were virgins. The gay teen just 'knew' from watching porn.
> He closes his eyes and surrenders himself to the process of dick sucking
Hey, least the Catholic boy does it like a pro. Where could he have gotten such natural tendencies, I wonder?
> He wants to cry and subsequently die
Please do.
> He can find himself balls deep in the prettiest, handsomest, nicest guy in the entire senior class
Yeah, they're not college boys. They're 17-year-olds, meaning his statement about parading him around the class with his dick out is weird and predatory as fuck.
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> It takes three tissues to get everything out of his eyelashes and eye sockets
Not bad, Mr. Skellington. You drenched that Catholic boy.
> It's super, like, I don't know
Like, enough with this fucking dialogue, like. Driving me, like, up the wall man.
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Here we go with the stinky armpits thing. All we were missing is the 'the lube poured down his thighs like diarrhea' and 'it felt like a sexy poop'.
> Blowjobs are the tip of the iceberg
Indeed.
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Ah, so we DO know what males are when push comes to shove: the penis owners, the ejaculators, the cowboy cum cleanup crew. Good to know!
> Playing outside during sixth grade was considered loser behaviour
??? in what fucking world? Plenty of kids played outside during recess. Did this bitch grow up under a rock?
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> Like, you flinch a lot when I touch you
Because he's autistic.
> My brain is weird, like, it's so easy for me to convince myself that people hate me, like
You hang out with jocks. You are not that widely hated; in fact, PBM made it clear that he was well-liked. Like, we don't even remember what we wrote, like
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Very telling how a 17-year-old gay kid who was so worried about being a sex pest talked about parading him around in class completely naked. Defeating the stereotypes, I see.
> That's biology, baby
And when you go to the surgeon to get your anus tightened from all that receptive anal sex, you can tell him that that's biology, too.

An author whose most notable work is about having a baby during a hectic job has written one about two virgins cashing in that V-card. This one is 100% skippable because there was the 'anal fingering' tag yet no one gets fingered. I plan on reading the baby fic in the future.
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> It would have been strange if we didn't arrive
You bought the apartment. Yes, it would be fucking weird if you didn't move in to something you paid for.
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> We're going to destroy this place
I think we've had enough Kaczynskis for this timeline.
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HAHAHA IT'S A MATH TERM, SO FETCH

I do remember when, last year, people were trying to say the square root symbol and the PI symbol was algebra yaoi. No, seriously. They tried to argue millennia-old symbols were 'proof' of their eternal love.
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You will never guess who handed him the card.
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> This is how people get murdered
I think a murdered trans man would be more famous than your school's science building. You'd be more famous in death than you ever were in life.
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Yes, it's Sky who gave them the invite and who is trying to hit up a (wo)man who isn't into that black sugar. Paper bag Latinos only, please.
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*Esophaguses
> The aspartame speeds up alcohol consumption
Know what also does that? A female liver. Guess which one is in possession of that?
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> Doesn't want to be reduced to a disability
> Is fine being reduced to a 'front hole' instead
This poor girl is really barking up the wrong tree.
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Yes, you're gay despite possessing genitalia that is complementary to the sex you are exclusively attracted to. You are not attracted to vagina, but you are attracted to penis, and somehow the sex that will follow is homosexual despite being the type that led to the creation of all humans on earth.
> It might be a little weird if you were like 27 or something
Not very progressive to virgin shame, you know.
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This character always catches Ls. She is a springboard for the superior yaoi ship. No black sugar in this cream.
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Jayce interprets this as her asking him to have sex. She was flirting with him; hell, one could see that she was wondering what kind of way he swung. She doesn't press it when he announces he's uncomfortable. She does not hold a grudge - unlike our white boy, who later complains about her family.
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1. She did not try to sleep with you.
2. Of course her family is Le Evil Capitalists while our lil dood is the noble socialist breaking down the system. if it's anything like 'Coming Home', then the author would confuse algae for bacteria and not know what the fuck Lockheed Martin is despite working for a massive corporation. SNAFUs like that are legendary.
> How could she not tell that you're gay?
Can you tell one is gay? And if so, are you really gay if you're attracted to vagina?
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She sniffed out that you were a virgin immediately, yet couldn't clock you as being trans? Like a nigga said: check the feet. Feet don't lie.
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> The man just effortlessly scooped him up
It's really not that hard when you barely weigh 100 lbs.
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I ended it there because this was a bait-and-switch. I was promised oral sex and anal fingering and didn't get any. What gives?

It's not July 4th yet, but have you heard of Omegaverse for the American Revolution? Now you have:
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This was clearly meant for Black History Month, because it features a non-binary, nigger Harry Potter going with an ADHD Tony Stark.
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It was clearly a hit.
 
Do you remember, 'you can be my full time daddy', by fujofrankenstein? It was a fic that started off with a 15-year-old sneaking into a gay bar, snagging a 40-year-old, getting adopted by him, yelling at every female doctor/lawyer/retail worker they found, and ended in a sex scene with said man ejaculating twice into a vagina, and once in the anus, all without losing his erection? It now has an epilogue/sequel, with the fresh 18-year-old who said they had to skip states or even the country for their trans gay marriage, getting ready to become a seahorse dad. Lines for this fic include:
- When at last his husband’s cock is freed, he nearly purrs in relief. He loves that thick cock. His balls, too, which are heavy and fucking perfect when they slap against his ass
- already too blissed out to care about much of anything but the feel of his daddy’s cock filling up his pretty pink pussy
- Gonna fuck a baby into me, daddy? Gonna put a baby in your baby?
- Gonna fuck a baby into your pretty, perfect womb.
- Yes, yes—get me pregnant, daddy, breed me, fuck—
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> legally, this time, as Vander keeps teasing
This man allowed a FIFTEEN-YEAR-OLD to work at a gay bar. But don't call them pederasts because you're just big ole meanies.
> Jinx has taken up permanent residence in Vi's lap
In case you forgot, Jinx and Vi, who are sisters, are in an incestuous relationship. It is currently not known if Vi has a girlcock. Having Jinx buttchug a beer is the least worrisome thing in this series.
> He followed some pretty little thing to the smoking section
'Jude' was the author's self-insert from the first installment. Jude was previously referred to as 'they', but Cleo has gone all-in on making them a man. They are the purple-haired, snarky and sassy gender special who lived in a group home.
> They just had to catch up to what I've always known
Does the article include the fact that your adoptive father fucked up at 15? Latino Jeffrey Epstein has a nice ring to it.
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> They're the only two people in the world who truly understand how their story began
It started with a late 30-something man leading a minor to his truck that he promptly vaginally fingered, with no thought to the consequences of being labelled a pedophile. It is fine provided the one doing it is hot.
> They half-stumble to the bedroom like little kids
Fitting, as the author is a shotacon and is friends with quite a few of them.
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> Daddy, fuck me please, I need your cock
This is a real line.
> He loves Jayce's thick cock. His balls, too, which are heavy and fucking perfect when they slap against his ass
Mind you, he is nearly 50 years of age here. His dick will begin to become wrinkly and shrink. His sperm is absolutely spoiled; if they do get a baby, on top of the testosterone that Viktor is taking (and does not appear to have an effect on his vagina, as the easy lubrication is any indication), it's going to be retarded. But hey, we can play the fantasy of a 50-year-old Latino being fit at that age with a big dick, can't we?
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> Already too blissed out to care about much of anything but the feel of daddy's cock hitting up his pretty pink pussy
Let this set the tone of the fic: there's going to be a lot of pregnancy sex, and then we get to see how an autistic baby functions when one parent is middle aged and will be 70-years-old by the time the child is 20, and the other who is heading towards post-menopause before they are 30. Quite the circumstances.
> He feels like an animal, pinned and fucked from behind and fucking loving it
He enjoys being fucked like a female animal, you mean.
> Gonna fuck a baby into me, daddy? Gonna put a baby in your baby?
That isn't weird at all, especially knowing they met when he was 15-years-old.
> They've been trying for a baby
I wonder what could possibly be preventing that pregnancy. Couldn't be related to those T shots you yelled at providers to give you, right?
> Yes, yes - get me pregnant, daddy, breed me, fuck
All those years wanting to be a man, and here he is, being submissive and breedable for an aged out sperm producer. What a life.
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Uh oh. What could this be?
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You will never guess what the twist is.
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> shoves his socked feet in sandals
Along with being a shitty person, you have shitty fashion taste. No one's done that since the 2000s.
Alright, so Sam and Sky, two women, used IVF with the help of a sperm donor to conceive. Jinx is fucking her sister, and if she's pregnant, it confirms that Vi is actually a trans woman, and was waving around that girlcock in a women's prison. Viktor is fucking an old man the traditional way, and also got pregnant. Three AFABs, three sets of sperm, three babies.
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So he just had an expensive surgery to fix his spine, and will now undergo a physiological transformation that will involve said spine warping to accommodate a growing fetus. Health concerns do not matter when you want to LARP a conservative family life.
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Synchronized ovulation only occurs in simulated environments. If you are really going off this metric, thousands of women across the planet would have conceived at the same time as you. It really is that random.
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I am looking forward to Viktor being told that he has to stop T for the sake of the fetus before screaming at the female OBGYN on how she's such a bigot and doesn't know anything about trans bodies. That was done for the female Indian psychiatrist in the first installment; for the female lawyer, and for the female lingerie sales worker who was told by Jayce to keep mum about him buying lingerie for a minor.

Oh, and another thing: Jayce has depressive bipolar disorder. On top of the fetus getting fucked up by T and entering precocious puberty, that kid will have major psychological disorders thanks to his aged-out father. That sperm of his is spoiled beyond recognition.
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> The exhilaration of a tiny human calling him dad
Mm yes, teaching an infant to call one of you Dad 1 and the other Dad 2, despite the vagina owning one being the one to gestate and give birth to you. They're planning for daycares and career changes, but not how that's going to look on a birth certificate when they had to do workarounds to get their trans 'gay marriage' recognized.

All this screaming about the joys of pregnancy makes me wonder if Cleo, who sexually harassed a sex pest (confusing?) and then acted like a victim afterward because she was the one who was assaulted, is trying to rewrite what happened to her into this Mitski/Ethel Cain/Creekbed Carter song where everything is hunky dory and you get your happy ending with an old ass man.
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> You love with your whole self
> Had entire meltdowns and threatened suicide if he didn't get his hormones
> Is perfectly fine accepting the female role in regards to pregnancy
Every time.
Since we're on the same author, she decided to post another fic with the same premise, albeit this one has the star being 19 instead of 15. The author also has Bipolar Disorder; could you tell? Lines for this fic include:
- I can’t—you’ve been teasing me all night, and T makes me so horny, and—please!
- “I’ve never… slept with a trans man before. But I do know my way around a pussy.”
- It’s perfect—he’s let the hair grow wild and unruly, hiding fat pussy lips and a thick clit
- He laps up the wetness like a dog
- There are few things he loves on this earth as much as eating pussy.
- You’re doing so well for me, taking daddy’s cock so good
After you are done reading about a goth teen heading to a biker bar where white supremacists are known to hang out, here's your shot and chaser moment:
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And chaser:
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> It's fucked up that you can go to war at 18, but you can't buy a drink or get into a bar
It's fucked up that we have incestuous loving shotacons who act like they belong in human society. This isn't 'processing trauma', it's the author wanting to fuck her own dad.
> Highlight the killer cat eye Jinx had drawn for him on his signature cobalt blue eyeliner
> Wears a mesh top underneath a Metallica shirt and THOT short-shorts
> Is going to a biker bar where actual white supremacists, drug dealers, and people who murder for fun hang out
You are in the wrong place. They are not going to look at you like a piece of ass; they are going to wonder who invited such an emaciated faggot.
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> Thinks about his dead daughter at a biker bar
> Sees a twig twink that is completely out of his element
> Wants to fuck him because he looks like his daughter
Not beating the 'I was raped, therefore incest is fine' stage, are we?
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> The boy - because that's what he is, a boy -
He later has to apologize for saying he 'knows his way around a pussy'. This 'boy' doesn't like to be reminded that he has one.
> He will not fuck this boy, no matter how prettily he bats his eyelashes
Get drunk enough and you can imagine you're fucking your own daughter.
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> Jayce could ruin him if he weren't a good man
In another universe, this 'good man' finger fucked a 15-year-old in the back of his truck and was more concerned about the kid getting misgendered than him ending up on a sex offender list.
> The kid looks like he's about to cry
Very masc, crying in a BIKER BAR with men who BEAT THE FUCK OUT OF EACH OTHER FOR BENT CIGARETTES. Holy fuck, what absolutely pathetic creatures.
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> Do you want to talk about it?
Yes, let's have a therapy session in a biker bar. That'll totally show the 40-year-old men with tattoos and names of the people they've smoked that you aren't a woman cosplaying as a twink. Not even Grindr leather men are this pathetic.
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> Nineteen and wise beyond his years
That's the same excuse you used when you fucked the 15-year-old version of him. "But officer, they're so knowledgeable and otherworldly!"
> Now I maybe can't afford my testosterone, and I was starting to save up for my top surgery
I rolled my eyes at this, and then we got this:
> Dead daughter, dysphoria, we're quite the pair
Yes, a daughter who died of CANCER, an incurable disease, is comparable to the woman who threatens to off herself if she doesn't get her tits lopped off and testosterone to make her look more masculine. This 100% Real Man just started crying in a biker bar because their attempts at flirting failed. These people always, always tell on themselves.
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The author is a fan of Twin Peaks, which showed up in 'you can be my full time daddy' with Viktor's very masc Instagram page that stopped being embedded because the author forgot how to do it.
> Now I teach second-grade science
Do you lust after them, too?
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> Drinks at a shitty biker bar
> Doesn't own a motorcycle
Those bars are for a specific subculture. Get the fuck out of there, you poser.
> You're funny as fuck, kid
He can identify as a man all he wants, but he can't identify as being funny.
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> Was it calling him, in a roundabout way, my son?
The man has a thing for wanting to fucking his own children, what can I say?
> It sends heat lancing low through his belly, lighting him on fire from the inside with want for this boy. This beautiful, wonderful boy who is half his age
And conveniently looks like his daughter, and who he manages to offend by saying he knows his way around a pussy.
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He's into daddy stuff, you're into fucking and getting impregnated by girlcock...what a wonderful batch of people. I can't see the author sexually harassing people at all.
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> Even though Viktor is the most beautiful man Jayce has ever seen, bets he'd feel divine around his cock
Well at least you don't have to do anal prep for this beautiful boy, right? You only identify as a pederast.
> Patsy Cline
Insert "my favourite character's music is my favourite music" trope here.
> Viktor is charming, and smart, and witty, and fucking beautiful
He also cried over being rejected in a biker bar. Very masc.
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> A beautiful boy calling his shitty apartment a home, maybe even his home
Maybe you can have some 100% homosexual sex and get some babies, eh?
> He hasn't wanted something like this since his PhD
"I haven't fucked anyone since my daughter died, and you look like my daughter, so fucking you is like fucking her"
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> All manly and earthy and hnnng
Oh? What do men smell like? This 'pheromone' and manly scent is just alcohol seeping through his sweat.
> All Jayce can think of as Viktor climbs on him is how tiny he is
He's just uwu so smol.
> He could probably touch his fingertips if he grabbed his waist
This fucking line. Then she decides to rub it in further to show how itty bitty her uwu trans boi is by having him wrap his fingers around like he's a Polly Pocket doll. I said that I'd collect every instance this line was used, and it's so far the tenth or twelfth time I've screencapped it. There are hundreds more.
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Fucking someone who looks like your daughter isn't crossing a line, but potentially seeing their breasts is no good.
> T makes me so horny
It also makes you a bitch because where was that manliness when it came to crying in a biker bar? You dressed like a wannabe scene bitch in a subculture that has no connection to it.
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> I've never slept with a trans man. But I do know my way around a pussy.
Sounds like you are 💥100%💥EXCLUSIVELY💣HETEROSEXUAL💣
> I'd tell you off for saying something so insensitive
What's insensitive for him saying he's never fucked a trans man and that you have a vagina? Where's all that pride on how men can have them; their arrogance in how gay men should learn their way around one? He's talking mad shit for breaking down crying in a biker bar.
> He breathes in the heady, musky scent of Viktor's pussy
Get used to it, because that shit is gonna smell like yeast once the repeat BV infections hit.
> He laps up the wetness like a dog
First we had 'his pussy drooled like a dog,' now we have this.
> There are few things he loves on this earth as much as eating pussy
Sounds like you're 👏EXCLUSIVELY👏HETEROSEXUAL👏
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> It's so big, holy - fuck
"I was gonna fuck my daughter with this"
> Feeding Viktor more and more of his cock with each forward thrust
When when the cassowary gets too greedy:
> You like taking daddy's cock?
I bet you he was dying to say that to his child. I'm not making this up - the author sounds like 'If she weren't my daughter, I'd date her' with this shit.
> Did you ask daddy for permission to touch your cock?
Just get a look at the size difference:
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> The sight of Viktor furiously trying to get himself off while impaled on Jayce's cock is the most breathtaking thing he's ever seen
What's breathtaking is that you're 'impaling' him with your cock, and he has to pathetically rub at his. Don't make any micropenis jokes, though. That's too mean.
> God, the best pussy I've ever had, fuck
> He's coming without even first asking if it's okay, coming inside that perfect cunt
Yes, that perfect, white, testosterone-addled pussy that has not dried out yet is the best you've ever had. Realistically, that shit would be so dry it'd rip off his foreskin like a foot file to a callus.
> Chase the sadness away with tongue and teeth
Very masc, crying after sex and trauma dumping. Your uwu smol sensibilities kicking in, again?
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You still cannot convince me this isn't the ballad of a girl who desperately wants to fuck her own father.

Nighogger has finished her three-part series. Prepare for some packer penetration.
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> You cannot walk without your brace or a support, but you're picking me up?
Looks like he only identifies as disabled half the time. Then again, you barely weigh more than a twig, so I suppose it's not that big of a deal.
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> He was staring at Jayce's taped chest
> Jayce had heard from other students that he'd participated in organizing the university's queer events in the past
We cannot have a scene where a person acts betrayed that the person they thought was one sex is really another. In their minds, they are accepted 100% of the time, their bodies sexualized and desirable, and everything is a queer paradise where they are never questioned for the things they do. We can't have a post menopausal woman who likely masturbated to a young student's big dick be disappointed it's another roid clit, now can we?
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> Two scars, uneven but fully healed
Ah, so he has the dog ears. The scars always look like a child's drawing of sun rays and you can definitely see it in their fanart. It also means his nipples are assymetrical, too.
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> He was not shaven
There're the Tarzan pubes we know and love!
> How wet he already was
I am so glad those years of testosterone have left him as wet as the Suez Canal.
> He kept his mouth busy with sucking and lapping up Viktor's slick, his nose buried in his pubes
All I can think of is that pube cake skit that iDubbz did pre cuck phase, but wetter, sloppier, and squishier like a wet sponge.
> He'd ignored Viktor's dick until then - Jayce's jaw was working incessantly, wet sucking noises filling the room
ah, we've got the Chinese noodle slurping noise. He would have a better time deepthroating one of those because they're at least 3 times longer than that roid clit.
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> Over Viktor's clit
> The tip of his dick
Pick one.
> Drinking every last drop of the slick gushing out of him
Did you bring a straw?
> His boxers squelched when he moved
Not bad for someone over 20 years on T. So much slick he'd clog up the laundry machine.
> Coated two of his fingers in Viktor's slick and stared, fixated, at the string formed between them
Xenomorph goo. What can I say?
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> Your comfort matters more
You know they're actually women, and not men, because they spend more time talking about comfort and safety vs pounding each other into the bed.
> Jayce went past his dick to get to his entrance
> I'll need to stretch you to make it fit comfortably
He's not talking about his dick here - he's talking about a packer. He is going to stretch him out with his yaoi fingers - which are noticeably larger than either of their roid clits - before shoving a piece of silicone with a rod in it to keep it firm. It's just lesbian sex with a different label.
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Looks like you can identify as having yaoi hands, too. BTW, he asks him if he's thought about the massage at least three times.
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> Taking me so well
> You can take it
...it's your fingers, not a horse cock. Your hands will statistically be smaller than that of a natal male.
> The instrusion clearly welcome even with such a big stretch
> Maybe (you could take) my whole fist
It would still be bigger than your roid clit, lmao.
> You must've been so frustrated, too. Mine are thicker. You couldn't quite stretch yourself like I can
His fingers are just uwu toothpicks. White people don't season dey tiny-ass fingas.
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> How long have you been hoping I'd touch you like this?
You already asked that.
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> He'd be lying if he said he wasn't a little nervous
I'll say. Your hot professor probably thought what you had down there was the real deal, not a heft of silicone that has to be stuck to a harness with a rod inside it to simulate an erection.
> You're...quite big
You can buy dildos of any shape and size. Did he at least buy one that was ethnically appropriate?
> Looked to him for permission to touch
He's a proud trans man who competes on the men's swim team, and yet he can't show off his chest because...? Because his breasts are too female? Huh. No wonder he was carrying around that packer in his bag; if another man decided to ask him where his dick was, he could simply say he bought it from Rabbi Schmuley.
> He reached down between them, spreading himself open so their dicks could touch
The harness would prevent you from doing so. The 'dick' cannot be bent, either.
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> Are you always like this? So wet you barely even need lube, or am I special?
You said that twice already.
> Squeezed out some of the lube
I guess those gooey boxers and stringy slick wasn't enough, eh? You still needed lube despite him saying you didn't need it two sentences ago.
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> A respected professor, known for being rather reserved and composed, reduced to a moaning mess, splitting himself on his dick
*Splitting himself on a piece of silicone with a steel rod inside it that you were carrying around in your gym bag
> He really was the most beautiful man he'd ever seen
You said that already.
> He fucked his spit into Viktor, and it made his thrusts even more wet
> Jayce could hear the ungodly amount of slick oozing out of him
Why would you need spit OR lube if there's an 'ungodly amount of slick'? Would that slick be enough? Guess not.
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> He desperately wished he could feel him, how tight he was, how his walls were clenching trying to take him all in
Sucks when you don't have an actual penis, eh? You're reduced to imagining it through rubber.
> Wish I could come inside you and fill you up like you deserve
See point above.
> With every thrust, the rod inside his packer brushed against his sensitive dick
The first dick has to be synthetically created, the second has to be artificially grown. Both are done to simulate what an actual male has. They try so hard to be men yet lose their composue to veiny dildos.
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> He slid his hand down towards his clit
> His sensitive dick
Pick one.
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Jayce goes to make coffee, but realizes he's late for class and has to leave. As he rushes to get ready, Viktor finally gives him his name and number so they can 'discuss' their lesbianism-but-make-it-manly relationship. The series ends, but not before the author says another one is in the works. Now all you have left to ask is if he carries around his packer everywhere or if it's for certain occasions.

This next author is well-known in the fandom for some drama, mainly getting caught on main of liking a fic where a black woman had her organs harvested so a white man could get with her man instead. She ran the ArcaneinDetail Twitter account, made a crying apology video, and changed her SEAnigger username to the one you see now. She originally went by the name 'grubbapeach'. Lines for this fic include:
- began to pant and moan loudly as his pussy was eaten by himself, knowing how he liked it and that pinching his cunt lips caused him to close his legs around the other’s head in ecstasy.
- hear the immoral whimpers of his partner echoing with the wet schlick schlick of being fingered roughly
- pulling out and feeling the cold air more against his cunt-heated length
- You will be the end of me, but not before I wring out every drop of cum from your being.
-
their velvet hot tight wombs begging for his cum, that would end up splattered on their fucked out faces
- He wanted to scoop his semen up and finger it back into their pussies, watch them writhe begging for his cock.
- pinned down on his stomach, ass presented up as he mounted his Hexcorized pussy like a broodmare.
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"Yeah you committed genocide but you said you loved me so that's okay"
> He will shoot a hole here, right through us
Oh, he's gonna shoot something else in another hole.
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> Talis was at a loss for words at the onslaught of realizing Viktor loved him all this time, when it took him going insane in that cave to realize it himself
Reminder this author loved a fic where Mel got her organs harvested, so this is her way of saying, 'Wow, I could've loved a white man instead of fucking a nigger? I sure did waste my time!'
> This Viktor was untainted by the illness that would one day debilitate him
He still has that illness, you retard. It just hasn't progressed to the point where he's driven to desperation to fix it, something you later write he should've accepted because it's a 'beautiful imperfection'.
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Alternate title: two white trans men tie up and sexually torture a Latino, written by a Southeast Asian who hates blacks. That's quite the diversity, don't you think?
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> I only wish to experience my body how I always wished to have
> Doesn't create himself a dick despite claiming to be a man
OK, bud.
> A body free from chronic pain, from the disabilities Viktor saw as weaknesses, when Jayce only saw beautiful imperfections
Chronic illnesses are not an imperfection, nor are they beautiful. This line shows how tone deaf his statement is, not to mention hypocritical: he used his hammer to craft a brace for himself and does not consider it a 'beautiful imperfection', and his PTSD from being forced into that ravine isn't seen as something to embrace, either. Rules for thee but not for me.
> A normal person might say it was disgusting that his first instinct was to deny them
Normal people don't bookmark fics of black women getting their organs harvested because you like white men more, but go on, SEA bitch. Film another video where you cry for two minutes about the hate you get from those meanie blacks.
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> Who smiled before kissing the younger's cock and cunt wetly
He doesn't actually have both parts. It's just his roid clit
> Oh Goddess
*Janna
> Began to pant and moan loudly as his pussy was eaten by himself, knowing how he liked it and that pinching his cunt lips caused him to close his legs around the other's head
This was written by a real person who thought this was sexy. Tell me more about pinching those cunt lips.
> Teach his Viktor a lesson about using the Arcane selfishly like he did
What is the punishment, you ask? Slapping and fucking that white pussy. White pussy can end entire dimensions. Fear it.
> Hear the whimpers of his partner echoing with the wet schlick schlick of being fingered roughly
You might be suffering from PTSD but at least you can smell this instead of napalm in the morning.
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> He had damned the world a million times over just to be with (him)
No, Viktor was the one who had shoved you in that pit to mentally prepare you to kill his alternate self. I guess the 'post traumatic' part is now 'pussy triggered stress disorder'.
> Thinking of Viktor as only his best friend and brother
He says that while admitting to masturbating in that ravine over his 'best friend' sucking his dick.
> His naked creamy skin
Look at that white skin. It's so much better than the black bitch whose organs we harvested. White pride worldwide.
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> Perhaps this was a chance to stop the looming battle in the coming days to the Hexgates
"I need to slap and fuck your white pussy to stop a black general from taking over. Only my huge Hispanic cock can prevent the race war."
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> Massaging the lush slick into his sensitive core
Wasn't aware LUSH had a new shower gel.
> A thought passed through Jayce thinking was his partner always a slut
*A thought passed through him: was his partner always a slut?

Such a nice thing to say about someone you broke out of your restraints to fuck because you couldn't resist the Call of Pussy.
> The taste could only be described as musky and ethereal, ambrosia for the most immoral
Mm yes, that pussy juice is CELESTRIAL, ambrosia for sinners, and wouldn't taste like engine oil whatsoever.
> He continued fingering the younger's soft hole open to prepare for his length
Here we go with the Hispanic Hog.
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> He knew he was too big for some, though he knew his partner could take him
White pussy hit different. Unlike black pussy, it can turn into a pocket dimension and swallow those 12 inches whole.
> Letting the younger feel the drag of his cock deliciously overpower discomfort into pleasure
Cliché.
> Jayce groaning feeling his own orgasm spark fireworks under his vision as his cum filled his beloved partner to the brim
> Lowering his head to drink Jayce's cum out of his younger self's fucked out pussy
Interesting. Does it have the consistency of a milk shake? Does it still taste like celestial ambrosia? Do tell.
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> The Arcane washed over him, energizing his body and stamina
Look at that. There really IS an easy way for him to become Mr. Hands!
> Not before I wring out every drop of cum from your being
This is a real line from the same person who enjoyed a fic where a black woman got her organs harvested.
> Other hand clutching his pale thigh like a lifeline
We know he's white, thanks.
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> His Viktor, that he shot and killed, why was he here, tormenting him so beautifully
He told you. He was going to show you the error of your ways.
> Show off his own Hexcornized pussy glowing faintly with dripping slick, begging for his cock back inside
This is a real line.
> The other was being pounded like a desperate whore
Funny how the one getting penetrated is a whore. What does that make you? You don't get your virginity or purity back when you fuck a whore. It makes you a man slut.
> Their velvet hot tight wombs begging for his cum, that would end up splattered on their fucked out faces
Ah yes, nothing like VELVET HOT TIGHT WOMBS for gay sex.
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> He wanted to scoop his semen up and finger it back into their pussies, watch them write begging for his cock
You just said you wanted to cum on their faces. Now you want to shove your cum back into their VELVET HOT, TIGHT WOMBS? OK.
> Jayce snarled viciously
Oh no, the inner Latino beast has come out! Who would've thought?
> Ass presented up in the air as he mounted his Hexcorized pussy like a broodmare
1. This is a real line. 2. Broodmares don't mount, stallions do. You meant to write, 'he took it like a broodmare'.
> The frightening dark expression Jayce had on his face
Oh wow, the Latino who suffered PTSD after being shoved in a ravine after you caused mass genocide is lashing out and makes threats about you leaving or else he'll fill up your VELVET HOT, TIGHT WOMB? You don't say.
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> Never leave me again or I will find you - I will find you and there's nothing you can do
He can't save the world from genocide, but he can stalk a twinkier Big Yahu and fuck that HOT, TIGHT WOMB for a two-state solution.
> Alternated between lush Hexcorized cunt and soft warm skin giving way to a slick, cum-desperate hole
If you don't have a lush cun or a slick, cum-desperate hole, are you even living life?
> He pressed his chest to Viktor's transformed body and bred his throbbing cunt
He needs that HOT, VELVET WOMB to get that baby to atone for cosmic genocide. Everyone knows billions will forgive you if you produce a pretty (half) white baby.
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It's hilarious to me how he went from MS13 mode to 'In This Shirt' mode, wanting to save his Viktor from enacting genocide by...stopping the technology and science he needs to live. The second option is to just let him die and raise that precious baby that arose from that velvet womb.

You also have to love how Viktor was convinced from Jayce touching him, and not, say, breeding that velvet tight womb. Different strokes for different folks, I guess.
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> saving each other in every universe
And every single one ends in genocide. White people DO season they mass murders.
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> Euphoria and lust as he made love to himself and a Jayce that despite his trauma and pain held him down so gently
Did we forget the animalistic descriptions used for him, because he didn't want Viktor to leave and 'punished' him by breeding that hot, velvet womb? I sure didn't.
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> The most intense sex I've ever had in my life
Nothing is gayer than getting those velvet wombs bred, eh?
> Becoming pregnant with the older alternate timeline Jayce's baby would be so funny
Fixing cosmic genocide by having a bleached baby? You might not bring back the bodies of the billions you atomized, but becoming a broodmare who had that velvet tight womb bred is a good solution - one might say a 'final' solution.

After 17 long years, AO3 has finally moved out of beta. This was announced just today, after years of fundraising drives raising 200k on average. You'd think having two Zionist Jews on your board would give you top-tier programming, but it looks like they need goyim fujo bux to keep it afloat.
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They now offer a badge commemorating the move.
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For April Fool's, the tagline was 'omega'.
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(Thanks for sponsoring this post, whoever you were, because I ain't clicking back.)

That's more Dark Crystal or.. uh.. Fraggle Rock than Nazi.
The movie 'Planes' is related to 'Cars', and both films canonically have WWII in it, which suggests that there was a car Holocaust, a car Rape of Honk-ing, the firebombing of Dresden, and the nuclear bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. It isn't out of the question to suggest that Mater helped storm the beaches of Normandy after being dropped out of a plane.
 
Disclaimer: I'm not a fanfiction/smut reader, I just like to catalog LLMs and the slop they generate.
Lines for this fic include:
- When at last his husband’s cock is freed, he nearly purrs in relief. He loves that thick cock. His balls, too, which are heavy and fucking perfect when they slap against his ass
- already too blissed out to care about much of anything but the feel of his daddy’s cock filling up his pretty pink pussy
- Gonna fuck a baby into me, daddy? Gonna put a baby in your baby?
- Gonna fuck a baby into your pretty, perfect womb.
- Yes, yes—get me pregnant, daddy, breed me, fuck—
- I can’t—you’ve been teasing me all night, and T makes me so horny, and—please!
- “I’ve never… slept with a trans man before. But I do know my way around a pussy.”
- It’s perfect—he’s let the hair grow wild and unruly, hiding fat pussy lips and a thick clit
- He laps up the wetness like a dog
- There are few things he loves on this earth as much as eating pussy.
- You’re doing so well for me, taking daddy’s cock so good
This "author", or at least someone she is influenced by, uses DeepSeek to write her fics. Everything in this list is a slop phrase. Gonna do X? Gonna do Y? is unusually common from Chinese models but rare from Western models. It's probably a dataset bias from fics in Chinese as LLMs will blend ideas and phrasing from all languages in their training data when generating outputs. Same thing if you see "ozone" anywhere. These lines are from DeepSeek specifically because all of the Chinese models are bad at English dialogue in their own ways, but DeepSeek (as of 3.2) is the strongest among them and achieves this "realistic enough at first glance, but repetitive and canned once you've seen it enough" writing style. The non-dialogue parts (why did you/we subject yourself/ourselves to this) also have the same signs. They half-run, half-stumble to the bedroom like little kids hits 2 slop detectors in one (half X, half Y + pointless likening). This and the laps up wetness like a dog line get extra DeepSeek points for likening to things Western readers, writers, and models would avoid in a sexual context (children, dogs).

Expect many more DeepSeekisms on AO3 because it's one of the most widely available free models on AI writing/RP sites, and is also very easy to jailbreak (bypass NSFW censorship). The more you know! 🌠
 
This Easter weekend, we celebrate the new season and the birth of Christ by having a sassy lassie go toe-to-toe and palm-to-poontang with a 60-year-old outlaw with curdled sperm. 13 inches doesn't just apply to revolvers around here. Lines for this fic include:
- Daddy oughta knock up this sweet little pussy of yours, hm?
- Ain't ever seen a pair of tits that look like mosquito bites before. How big do you think these'll get when you're all knocked up?
- too fucked out to think of anything but the fat cock inside him
- he's forced to take every spurt of hot cum inside his fertile womb
- can only whistle at the sight of a gaping pussy squirting around nothing as globs of cum begin to spill out of him
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> He'd dress up as a woman
He is one. This means he's at factory settings.
> Tried to look the part of some innocent dame that had been jilted by a lover or a terrible man
Along with dressing as a woman despite being a woman, he doesn't walk with a cane. His brace is hidden under his dress, which would be the singular thing outing him to other outlaws. His disguise would be foiled from the get go.
> Acting out the tale of some poor young woman
We're not even trying with the trans thing. I'm supposed to believe this is a real man, and how it's transphobic to think otherwise, but this is just a crippled woman with a 'hot ass' who gets pounded by a 60-year-old man.
> He'd reward them for their attempt by beating them unconscious
With what? You are barely 100 lbs soaking wet. Are you beating them with your cane? Speaking of, have you noticed it, anywhere? Erasing disability is OK when WE do it, sweaty~
> His target almost wrapped his entire hand around his waist
Look at that, it's the 'his waist was so small his thumbs met in the middle' but with a single hand. You wanna be that the original line is used, too?
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> Even through the layers of his dress he could get a vague feeling of the older man's bulge. He was distinctively large, and he shuddered to think of every poor woman who had the misfortune of being speared in half by such a thing
Will it be 13 inches like that other cowboy fic? Will there be cervical smashing? Place your bets on his size now.
> Sweet and high voice
Does he practice his 'deep' voice, or does it come out naturally when he gets drunk? It doesn't surprise me that our sassy lassie got their drink spiked by cowboy GHB. You're about to get the Oregon trail up your coochie, friend.
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> Spends a career manipulating and beating men
> Got cheated at his own Cardi B game
Lol. Lmao.
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> Jayce's hulking figure practically fills the entire doorway. He takes up so much space that Viktor doesn't know where he could run where the man can't reach
He can't run, anyways. I am glad that Jayce has the same physique as The Rock in his 60s without TRT. Must be something in that choleric water that grants him strength.
> You're a wanted woman, or should I say a wanted man?
You can drug and beat men but don't EVER be a cowboy transphobe. That pussy doesn't get wet if you don't gender it properly.
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> I can't say I blame 'em when they've got a cute piece of ass on their lap
What ass? You are looking at someone who belongs in a sanitorium for tuberculosis. You could probably chuck him like a spear at some Comanche.
> Immediately makes a break for it
I guess he isn't disabled after all. That does make for a funny mental image though: a disabled man hobbling to escape a 6'2 60-year-old who isn't in need of a hip replacement.
> Afford the company of a hot young thing to keep me busy for a couple of days
You're about to find out how 60-year-old cowboys get their Viagra from 1888 pooner pussy.
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> Landing himself in a jail cell
Would you be placed with other men, or would you scream 'GET A FEMALE OFFICER NOW!'
> I'm sayin' that I'm going to reform you, Viktor. Make a righteous man out of you
AKA "I am going to fuck the woman back into you and end this 'I'm a man' LARP".
> He tries to use his feet, but it's no use
*Foot. His disabled leg was amputated; that's how he 'made a run' for it in the first place. I guess he beats people up by taking it off and using it as a weapon? Death by Cripple sounds like a heavy metal band.
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> Pulls his cock out with one hand
> Gets a whiff of that musky, uncut cowboy cock that probably hasn't been washed in days
> Is warned not to bite him or else there will be consequences
> Is so big barely half of him fits in that itty bitty mouth, and he can't decide whether that musky manmeat is choking him or the smell of it
No descriptions of how big it is yet, but since it's going to be pounding that cervix it's likely it's 13 inches.
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> He feels thick fingers sliding down his asshole where a pair of balls should be
He thought this was a man, pretending to be a woman, and expected a set of cock and balls, but got a pussy instead. Even if V did have the male set, it would likely be a pencil dick that's half the size of musky manmeat here, which would be even more humiliating than slapping a pussy on.
> Viktor bites his lower lips in shame
Very masc to flirtatiously bite your lip and start crying when your true nature get revealed.
> Steps on the back of his head to keep him down
And his weight doesn't cause any problems whatsoever, no sir.
> He's leaking like a damn faucet, making a mess of his pants. He can feel his own slick soaking the wild bush on his mound
There're the Tarzan pubes we know and love!
> No woman in their right mind would want to say in Jayce's little home and be his wife
Luckily for you, you're getting the tradwife fucked back into you.
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> You just want to reform me because you want someone to remember your pathetic life before you die, old man
He needs a young piece of ass who will take care of him in his old age. 60-year-old men have spoiled sperm, health problems and - get this! - their dicks start shrinking. That colossal cock and musky manmeat is going to look like a naked mole rat, and he's gonna get tired after two or three thrusts. Suspension of disbelief only goes so far.
> Before he amputated his own leg and built a new one from scratch
I assume he made his own anti-biotics, because he would die from infection faster than he could get that new leg on. They didn't even have anesthetics back then.
> This cute ass of yours is as red as your hot little cunt
And he's about to pop that cherry.
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> Slick splashes on the floor, making a mess underneath Viktor's legs
Is he on cowboy T? did he manage to synthesize that or does he just identify as a man?
> Withdraws his assault on the younger man's cherry red pussy
I wonder what euphemism is hidden in that.
> Wraps an arm around his waist and hauls him up like he weighs nothing
He's barely 100 lbs. I told you you could chuck him like a speak at the Comanche.
> Fuck, kid, I could just eat you up for dessert, sweet little thing like you
You'd be gnawing on skin and bones like a starving dog. That chicken wing ain't got no meat.
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> I'm old enough to be your daddy
*Granddaddy
> You gotta put more meat and fruit in you, doll
Yeah, can't be fucking choleric skeletons round these parts, now can we?
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> Rubbing them raw so that Viktor would have no choice but to wear nothing underneath
"Oh no! The old-ass bounty hunter who kidnapped me and wants to fuck the tradwife back into me is hot! What do I do?"
> Jayce proceeds to line his dick up to Viktor's eager pussy
> Tears Viktor's 'tiny opening' wide open
There is a fetish for small vaginas being 'ripped' open by large dicks. It's a literal metaphor for a woman being broken in.
> 25 cm
That's 9 inches. A far cry from the 13 inches in that other fic, and one inch bigger than PBM's threshold of 8 inches.
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> He lost his virginity in a haystack
> Felt disappointed he couldn't orgasm, thought sex with men would always be like that
> A 60-year-old bounty hunter brags about how he's the first to introduce his cute pussy to a 'real cock'
Glad we know what 'real cocks' are and how they are used to 'tame' cute pussies.
> He feels the weight of Jayce's length and the throbbing vein running underneath
Imagine if he bit that. Would that musky manmeat deflate?
> Scared of coming too soon and letting your age show?
His age would already be showing with extra wrinkly balls and dick shrinkage, but don't let these ladies tell you that.
> His pupils fattening at the sight of his obscenely spread pussy
So much for that 'tiny hole', eh?
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> Slots himself easily before pistoning inside Viktor's warm and tight cunt like it's a race
Not bad for a 60-year-old when the average life expectancy was 45.
> he can only let out a whimper of disbelief when his stomach distends with each thrust
That's the most protein he's gotten in years, lmao
> Daddy oughta knock up this sweet little pussy of yours, hm?
This is a real line. BTW, 60-year-old sperm is rotten. That baby, if you do get knocked up, is coming out retarded - IF it doesn't get spontaneously aborted during the first trimester.
> The words don't register in his head, too fucked out to think of anything but the fat cock inside him
Fat cocks can convert pooners back to tradwife status. Who knew?
> Flat plane of Viktor's chest, squeezing it to form the smallest of hills
> Ain't ever seen a pair of tits that look like mosquito bites before
So he doesn't have tits. Being flat chested means you aren't getting 'smallest of hills' no matter how hard you squeeze.
> How big do you think these'll get when you're all knocked up
You aren't getting DDs despite delivering a double-dicking.
> Wanna see 'em bounce as you ride me - or you can let me fuck your tits
He has no tits to fuck. They're mosquito bites, remember?
> He's so pissed he can't fight back
Yes, it sucks being reminded of your sex, huh? You can't even fight off a 60-year-old.
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> I'm gonna make you my wife and take real good care of you and our baby
I told you: this is just a man 'fucking the woman' back into a trans man. Funny how it keeps happening.
> Shoves himself balls-deep to come straight in the young man's cervix
> He's forced to take every spurt of cum inside his fertile womb
He's ejaculating with the volume of a 20-year-old despite 60-year-olds losing in every field including sperm volume and health.
> His pussy has never known the feeling of being stuffed like this before
He took nine inches once and swore off it for the rest of his life, lmao
> Jayce can only whistle at the sight of a gaping pussy squirting around nothing as globs of cum begin to spin out of him
Something tell me he won't be whistling when a baby's head comes out of the same hole.
> He lived in poverty his entire life, and if he gets pregnant right now, there will be no hope left for him
Sucks when you're at the mercy of a 'cis' man who doesn't give a shit about your gender identity and just sees you as breedable pussy, huh? Almost as if you're reduced to your reproductive organs because giving birth is all you're good for.
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> Old bastard threatened to dissolve it in his will and leave his workers to fend for themselves
You were willing to do that to this pooner you turned into a tradwife, lmao
> Jayce is fucking loaded
Look at that. Our sassie lassie is a gold digger! Who would've thought?
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What we've learned so far:
- You can convert a crossdresser into a tradwife by fucking them with your 9 inch dick
- You can turn a ho into a housewife with your 9 inch dick
- Being 60-years-old does not shrink your 9 inch dick
- It isn't creepy provided the 60-year-old is hot
"I ain't saying she a gold digger..."

That courtesan omegaverse AU has finally been completed. We never do get an answer on whether our alpha male fought the Turks.
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> Then drilling again after making camp
...drilling for what? Oil? They don't have the tech to drill for that! We don't even know where this fucker sailed off to, what war he is fighting or what regiment, or if he's fighting fellow Italians! Worldbuilding helps if you base this off someone else's story!
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> It had been six months since Jayce's letters had ceased to arrive individually and instead been brought in bundled packets
Well, yeah. They don't have a sophisticated mailing system or email. You're gonna have to wait for those love letters.
> Mel was in the field as well, of course
Alpha females can enter war and fight alongside men, but omegas have to stay home and be good mothers. They even have to dress a certain way or they will be 'clocked' as omega - no, really.
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> I feel certain that you could apply yourself just as adeptly in true battlefield tactics with only the briefest of studies
Maybe you should have suggested that before he became a prostitute. What's he going to do with that knowledge now? Fuck soldiers on the side for a pretty penny?

I am not surprised Jayce got captured. Now all we have to wonder is: did he get kidnapped by other Italians, or Turks?
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> The alpha I love is in danger
Aw, look at the noble whore going to save their dear love. That can't go wrong, can it? Nothing like exchanging a few favours and a few batches of syphilis to get to your newly crippled alpha.
> His height was a boon, combined with discreetly purchased simple clothes - it made him look like a beta commoner
Omegas are under 5'4 and are itsy bitsy petites beauties with child-birthing hips. And they say this isn't bioessentialist, yuck yuck.
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> He walked to the back of the board and became a queen
Why not just commit to a full gender swap, if all this 'male' character does is take the role of a woman? Oh, right, because he had to in order for this plot to work.
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He got boarded by a rival navy, in a war we aren't aware of, in a sea/ocean/body of water that isn't named. It took them three days to get everyone together and several months to launch. Did they head to the Mediterrenean? The Caspian? C'mon, man!
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> Mocked a devil that looked almost like his wife
The Devil is a black woman? Damn, Hell must look like the DMV.
> You refused the sacred gift of love to clutch greed to your breast instead
It was an arranged marriage. Yes, it is his fault for not telling his uwu white omega he was getting married, but he was on his way to become a Senator. What I don't get is that he simply didn't take Viktor as a mistress because that was common for men back then. When you have Fuck You money, anything is possible. You can even become the Pope!
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> It was lank and greasy
Gross. Did he not bathe while his beloved was wasting away from sepsis? Imagine the lice on these people.
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> Bad enough that I have to share you with half of Venice. Now you've extended your service to our enemies?
He's a proud courtesan who gets fucked by all the richest men in Venice, and now he gets mad that said whore might have used their services to get him out of a Turkish dungeon. I'd have a little more respect; if you were so concerned about him being 'shared', you should have bought him to begin with, made him exclusively yours, and tutored him in your estate. All of this could have been avoided, including the heartbreak.
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> It had been so long since he'd seen her that he'd forgotten what she looked like
She's one of the few black people in all of Italy. I'd think she's easy to remember.
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He's been gone for three years, and wouldn't you know it, he also has a kid!
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> A girl, then. An alpha. His heir
Yeah, can you imagine if she was born an omega (btw, how can these people tell if one is born alpha or omega when you need to present at a certain age?) and already, by chance of birth, granted a lower status in society and forced to either join a convent or become a prostitute?
> She has your sister's eyes, and my hair, and your chin
She neglected to mention the child is half-black. He can somewhat tolerate his pet white whore being a whore, but not a half-black child.
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> Things were somewhat awkward between us for a time, but...we have become friends, of a sort, I think
You, a black woman, are getting cucked by a paperbag Hispanic in favour of a white man. You are being asked to forgive and tolerate an STD-ridden homewrecker. No shit it's awkward.
> In return, I will turn a blind eye to whatever...arrangement you make with Viktor
And then he has to worry about legitimizing bastards, but hey, if they're a shade paler than he is, maybe that makes things easier, yeah? He can forget his half-black child and focus on raising the bleached ones. Fun!
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> If you allow petty jealousy to drive a permanent wedge between you, then you never truly loved him to begin with. Get over it
He wasn't mad when Viktor was sleeping with high society. He only got mad when he thought he slept with foreigners.
> If one believed that omegas were incapable of higher reasoning, only useful as decorative objects and knotholes
That's exactly what society believes. Otherwise, why would Viktor's choices be limited to a nunnery or prostitution? Omegas are second-class citizens and self-identification for social mobility is not a thing. You are born an omega, you will die one.
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> To cut Jayce out of him now would be to make himself a hollow shell
All this talk about being empty and these two didn't really have a connection to begin with. They were close in Chapter 1, but other than that, none of this warrants the Dracula's Bride treatment. You guys are friends with benefits, not cosmically ordained soul mates.
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> You will find love. I am certain of it
He says to the woman whose marriage he's homewrecking. I guess harlots are not whipped in the street like they used to be.
> Don't forget to take the potions I told you about
Women are allowed to fight in the army and Navy (if they're alphas) but terminating a pregnancy is off limits. OK.
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>It's not my place to tell you who you shouldn't invite into your bed
It is, because you're an alpha. Alpha male society dictated that he be a courtesan to begin with, even when his family had enough money to give him a proper education. He only chose it to get rich.
> I told them - to try to buy you free. They laughed
No shit. You're a dainty omega trying to tell Hasan Piker to sell you a caged Latino.
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> You saved my by winning the war
This was supposed to be a huge event and yet it is solved in a single sentence. An omega wins the war waged by alphas...does life change for the better? Are human rights finally granted towards omegas who are not dim-brained, dainty beauties? Nope. He pulls the ladder up right after him.
> I've known for years that you're smarter than me
So why did you watch him become a prostitute? It is noticeable that they are always having Jayce defer to Viktor, the smarter and cleverer one, even when both are geniuses. It's not a preference at all, no sir.
> He would have absolutely done the thing Jayce so feared if it meant the fastest path to his freedom
Imagine fucking a guard corps of a bunch of Hasan Pikers. You'd become a hit on Twitch.
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> I am well aware of the hypocrisy of our society
And yet you do nothing to change it. You were content being seen as simple-minded and a 'knothole', but you won an entire naval war and all you have to show for it is fucking a black woman's husband.
> We could travel, like you always wanted
Great, then you can make him forget he has a half-black child and get those half-white babies you've always wanted!
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And that's it. You thought you were getting 'Dangerous Liaisons'? Nope. You have a tale of a prostitute who, by the force of their genius, won a naval war that changed the entire country and all they got was a stupid ascot. I expected more drama. I did not expect this to die out like a deflated balloon.

Big Rigs: Over the Ho has a third chapter. We have trigger warnings for self-harm, because what teenage prostitute doesn't self-harm?
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> Been inside of trucks all his life
> Isn't aware they call their trucks 'she'
We can't misgender Optimus Prime, now.
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> Don't tell me you're one of those guys. The men that are one bump in the road away from sticking their dick into the tailpipe and fucking their truck
I bet you that dick is as big as his tail pipe.
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> Th man - who he never actually learned the name of - hardly spoke, but his silence felt heavy. The only time that he heard his voice was when he was grunting and speaking slurred filth
His musky man meat didn't smell good and he couldn't use it properly, okay? You know this man with a clean cab will flush out his pipes.
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Best to enjoy the chapters while they are short and not bogged down with sexy poops.
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> Annoyed by his inability to not be a burden to the man in the driver's seat
Have you tried NOT being a burden?
> Like the trailer is an extension of his body that he controls without a second thought
There's a phallic reference in there somewhere, I know it.
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> Why Jayce would leave an unattended prostitute in his truck
Well, you aren't stealing his ride. You can't drive. You also can't run so you can't hold up a gas station. It would be funny if he tried, though.
> Viktor would rather be beaten bloody by another John than sleep on a cold, wet curb again
Most women would actually prefer the latter because the former means things like expensive hospital stays and broken skulls. He clearly has most of his teeth, so most Johns didn't decide to give him the gummy mouth treatment.
> Not like he does when he's dolled up and pretty
I wonder why 40-year-old men would raise eyebrows at FTMfemininity there heading into the men's bathroom.

She put a trigger warning for the cutting scene here. Honestly, I'm not surprised at all that an FTM is engaging in self-harm. All of them do it.
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> Crying doesn't help him, it doesn't alleviate the pressure inside his skull
This is the most masc thing you've said so far. Well done.
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> Fourteen, for a few more weeks
He could see his kid if he actually sought custody. He did not, so the mother received full custody. Get a better lawyer next time, bro.
> I am curious why someone so young is sleepin' in a truck-stop bathroom and getting punched by fellas twice their size
I'm just amazed he hasn't died from those punches. That fat fuck was going Conquest on his ass.
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Wow, we're ticking off all the boxes:
- criminal trans teen who grew up in juvie
- a cutter
- teenage prostitute
- Ethel Cain fan
all we're missing is the teenage pregnancy reveal!
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I've noticed that people who create Spotify playlists always find an excuse to write a songfic. These were very popular on FFnet before it cracked down on them circa 2012.
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> I can't keep my gun in my truck in Miami
Concealed carry permits vary in each state, yeah?
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> What the Hell is a redneck goin' do in Miami?
Become a Florida Man. Have you tried living in the Everglades? BTW, the song they're singing is this:
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You will never guess what happens with our random trucker John.
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> Says he's a man
> Dresses like a woman when he wants to get fucked for money
Makes you wonder what the point is aside from it being a blatant fetish.
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> Thick, powdered blush covers his cheeks
Aiming for the OnlyFans look, I see. He legit could have gone that route and be a mobile OF model for a trucker looking for company. The end result would be the same.
> He struts as best he can
I can just imagine a swagger with a bum leg.
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> You're a pretty young thing, aren't you?
Your trucker goggles might be working a little overtime.
> Charges $50 bucks for the blowjob session
> It's his average rate
Charging a lot for a lot lizard, ain't ya? You should've gone with OnlyFans.
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> Viktor isn't impressed, but he bites his lip like he is
Ah, the classic, 'random John has an unimpressive penis and is a sexual sadist while the man the prostitute wants is loaded with a huge penis and chokes him the way he wants' trope. He doesn't like the rough blowjob here because the man's penis is stinky and he's ugly. But he'll happily choke on Jayce's man meat because it'll be 'musky' and he's attractive. Those brutal thrusts will be worth it if it gets you wet, right?
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Don't worry, Roxanne. Your red light will be blaring once you see what that 18-wheeler really packs under the hood.

The CEO omegaverse is two chapters away from ending. Our alpha male is now bringing giant teddy bears and chocolates as a means of reconciliation and has nearly completed his arc from 'fuck around, never found out' sexist to a conservative, loyal family man. Features said devoted father getting envious at his five-year-old nursing from his mother's breast. Lines for this fic include:
- would give him as many pups as he wanted. Keep him full of pups, his breasts full of milk. And he—and then he could kiss them, suck them, worship them—

Edit: it seems, like the Lady Masemar the Impaler fic, it will extend to 16 or 17 chapters. Oh joy.

Last chapter, we had a medical emergency with our lil pup and Jayce had to save the day by driving our distraught mother to the hospital. It ended with them willing to have a fresh start - and ready to defeat Stinky Dmitri who has pulled out his trap card to undo their project. This chapter begins with Jayce showing up at Viktor's house unannounced with a giant teddy bear and a bouquet of sunflowers, overworked and running on fumes. They have been working overtime to complete their project and get the legal documents to defeat Dmitri's hostile takeover, so Jayce wants to repay the favour by going to the mall and buying gifts so he can at least not show up as a stalker. He needs to see Benji and his mommy for a happy, conservative ending.

He shows up at Viktor's house at 7 p.m. on a Thursday night, not expecting him to be home, but he is, and he's got his hair tied back and wears fitted pants with slippers and looks lovingly 'domestic'. He sputters that he should have announced he was coming, but he wanted to see him and Benji, so there he is. Viktor replies that if he knew he was coming, he would have cleaned himself up - he spent the time Benji was in the hospital cleaning the house - but Jayce says he's as beautiful as ever, and that sends a lil blush up our omega's sweet cheeks. He would have bought roses and went all out like a Saudi oil magnate, but the florist suggested something less 'loaded', and he went with sunflowers. Jayce once again is apologetic for arriving there on a whim - he got his address from HR, despite somehow not knowing it already - and notes that while the apartment is smaller than his, it's lived in, homely, and shows signs of a pup. Benji is watching cartoons in the living room, giving them time to talk about the project.

The project is more or less at a standstill, with their lawyers arguing for the costs and its legality, forcing an answer from the council at the end of the week. They will not be able to proceed until then. Viktor remarks that he didn't think Dmitri would be so petty and focus on his work, while Jayce says that he knew he'd do it (and to be fair, Viktor should have known as well, since Dmitri told him he'd be an undesirable single mother).

We then cut to Benji spying Mr. Papi, who runs at him announcing he's happy to see him. Jayce presents him the teddy bear, described as being 'as big as he is' which he takes and throws onto the couch. Jayce thinks that he bought the wrong gift, but Benji promptly wraps his hands around it and kisses it, showing his love for the gift. He tells Mr. Papi he was upset that his 'mommy' told him he could not see him anymore. He begins crying and begs that Jayce shouldn't leave, because he enjoys his time with him and abuelita. Jayce has his 'come to Jesus' moment where he realizes that all of that pumping and dumping and 'I don't give a fuck about omegas' ends here, with this child, because an aggressive sexist with a mood disorder becomes a loving father once he realizes he has a kid. He realizes he does not want to be alone anymore and wants to be a family man to him and his 'beautiful mommy'. He promises he will stay with his 'bunny' forever.

Viktor, meanwhile, is crying in the background, and when he beckons him to join the group hug, he smells a bit of fear on him. Benji asks why his mommy is crying, and Jayce replies that he was worried that Jayce would be an abusive father. He wants to be there as a father figure and raise him, to which Benji replies that he's acting like he wants to be his daddy. It is then that Viktor explains to him that 'Mr. Papi' actually IS his father, explaining that he knew Jayce a 'long time ago' and that he got pregnant shortly after their encounter, never exchanging phone numbers or communicating after their affair (and a five-year-old will not understand the gravity of a one-night-stand or his father having a virgin fetish). The funniest thing about the conversation is that Viktor tells his son that he has a mommy and a daddy like the other kids at school, which means that despite all the 'secondary gender' designations, there are no homosexual pairings in this universe. It is all heterosexual, opposite-sex pairings. It really is workaround, mandatory superstraight relationships, lmao

Viktor tells his son he didn't tell him the truth because he was scared of what Jayce's reaction would be, or how he'd treat him, but Benji's response takes him by the wayside: instead of being upset or hesitant, he is overjoyed, because having Jayce has his dad was his birthday wish, and said birthday wish finally came true. They have their family moment and then Benji is put to bed, giving his parents time to talk. He thinks about taking Benji to the zoo or aquarium for the weekend because he loves animals. Viktor offers him tea, and he accepts. Just in case you needed a reminder this is an omegaverse fic, we're gonna explore gender with this:
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> Gentleness, patience, quiet devotion
> Perfect mother, perfect omega
Here I thought sex stereotypes were bad and that we had made some attempt to move on from them, but leave it to omegaverse authors to sound like Mormon preachers telling women to dress modestly and breastfeed their kids until they're five. I'm not joking about that last part, btw.
> You do know those books are mostly bullshit, right?
We Follow the Science around here. It's Just Biology, bro.
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> He hated himself, so deeply for his cowardice
He didn't hate himself until he found out he had a kid. He was fine acting like the callous, devil-may-care alpha who took pussies with the ease he earned money; only when he got his prized virgin did 'something' click inside him. The only reason he has a kid to begin with is because he was too excited to pull out.
> One where Jayce took accountability and focused on Viktor's pain
An alpha male taking accountability? I guess broken glass does float.
> I wouldn't undo that night. The only thing I'd change is that I wouldn't have let myself hope it could be something more
AKA you were naïve and you wish you were a more confident person, but are constrained by the fact you're an omega and omegas can't be independent because they are literally too smooth-brained to do so.
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> I wanted to call you. I really did
He really did not, because his plan at the time was to fuck around and then leave because he didn't want to create a kid that was like him - selfish, uncaring, violent - because he did not want to continue his father's legacy. I assume vasectomies are not allowed in this world because the right of an alpha male to breed takes precedence over everything else.
> Not to test you, exactly...but I want to see how you are with him
He later gets jealous of his five-year-old getting breastfed. Because we are exploring gender here.
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Benji asking for mother's milk when he is old enough to drink cow's milk is a sign of stunted development. In this universe, alpha males can breastfeed until they are six or seven years old. Literally draining women dry for their 'superior', chosen lives, fucking hell.
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> The breast Benji wasn't nursing was fully visible. It was...perfect
> Back then there had barely been anything there. Now, it was a soft, rounded swell.
He went from mosquito bites to a B cup? Right.
> Male omegas would never develop the same way as females, even while nursing
Objectively, there is no difference between male and female omegas. They have the same anatomy, the same role, the same female reproductive organs; the only difference is that one IDENTIFIES as male. There is no alternate term or role for these 'male omegas' or a different reproductive role. They still abide by the male-female reproductive dichotomy. In other words, it's hetslop.
> Beautiful, perfect. The most perfect tits in his life
> Still barely above an A cup
OK.
> In that moment, he envied his own son
> This was normal, more than normal - instinctive. Natural. An omega caring for his pup
You just admitted you're jealous of your own son for sucking tits. This is the problem with tit-men only: they view the act of an infant nursing as 'competition' to breasts they think is theirs, and hold resentment for their own child. All this bullshit about this man 'changing' and how he isn't a threat is shot down by the author casually admitting he is in a sexual competition with his own fucking five-year-old son. And, rather than call out how fucked up this is, the author's fans will eat it up.
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> Perfect omega. Perfect mother. Perfect mate
These people only accept hereditarianism when it comes to omegaverse. If you were to show them 'The Bell Curve', they would call you a disgusting racist. It's Just Biology, bro only applies to their shitty porn.
> One baby on each side. And maybe a third on the way. Jayce would give him as many pups as he wanted. Keep him full of pups, his breasts full of milk - and then he could kiss them, suck them, worship them
He never stops to ask if Viktor even wants that. We know from Benji it was a difficult pregnancy and that it threatened his life. Now Mr. 'I'm jealous of my breastfed son' wants to pump him full of pups just so he can suck back some titty milk. This fic will forever be known for this detail.
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> He couldn't masturbate in Viktor's apartment, not with his five-year-old in the next room
Here he was worried he'd end up a deadbeat, abusive father, but really he views his own son as a sexual opp and wants to masturbate to his mother's perfect tits. Sounds like a future pedophile in the making.
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> He'd nearly come in his pants watching the omega he was obsessed with simply being a good mother
This character really is just a woman with a man's name.
> Technically, they're supposed to top around the age of two
> They said young alphas sometimes stay on milk longer - even up to six or seven
And omegas, their only role being to give birth and breastfeed, are happy to fulfill this 'addiction to tits'. Tit-men get jealous of their own children and Jayce shows it here. Never mind the fact a fucking five-year-old would be drinking juice boxes by now.
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> It's instinct. It'll pass once Benji gets older
> That's how biology works
But when I say that Jayce is a natural born abuser because his dad was a deadbeat abuser, suddenly it's a 'matter of character' even when there's a 50/50 chance he's a carbon copy of said father. Genetics only matter when we want to bleach our bloodline, it seems.
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> He'd changed. He was changing
You got envious of your own son being breastfed. You wouldn't sacrifice everything and doom humanity for your child - you'd do it for a set of perfect tits. Amazin'.

They end up going to the aquarium, a place that's newly built with a children's play center, and spend half the day there. They leave when Benji gets too tired and Jayce has to carry him on his back (btw, it should be noted he isn't disabled here. No one calls out this ableism because it's OK when our faves do it). They then run into Cait and Vi, and have a little explaining to do about their predicament...but don't tell them about the breastfeeding envy, mmkay? I'm not getting over that, btw. Two chapters to go and the author decided to dump that shit on me. Christ Almighty.

This "author", or at least someone she is influenced by, uses DeepSeek to write her fics. Everything in this list is a slop phrase. Gonna do X? Gonna do Y? is unusually common from Chinese models but rare from Western models. It's probably a dataset bias from fics in Chinese as LLMs will blend ideas and phrasing from all languages in their training data when generating outputs. Same thing if you see "ozone" anywhere. These lines are from DeepSeek specifically because all of the Chinese models are bad at English dialogue in their own ways, but DeepSeek (as of 3.2) is the strongest among them and achieves this "realistic enough at first glance, but repetitive and canned once you've seen it enough" writing style. The non-dialogue parts (why did you/we subject yourself/ourselves to this) also have the same signs. They half-run, half-stumble to the bedroom like little kids hits 2 slop detectors in one (half X, half Y + pointless likening). This and the laps up wetness like a dog line get extra DeepSeek points for likening to things Western readers, writers, and models would avoid in a sexual context (children, dogs).
While that is incredibly fascinating, I don't think fujofrankenstein is using AI, simply because she's too retarded to do it. She used to use something called 'skins' that allows an AO3 author to mimic text messages or website skins such as Instagram. She used to use those and simply gave up after a while. Her writing style has remained consistent; what you've noticed is the same syntax she's used since last year.

DeepSeek and other AI - AO3 had its data scraped not too long ago - simply copies AO3 authors, so it picks up common syntax and language rules and uses them to craft their own. 'Laps up wetness like a dog' is less AI than them just being retarded with metaphors; I assume she got that from OhNovi, who coined the 'his pussy drooled like a dog' that I reference constantly for being a 'what the fuck' moment.

I also don't think it's AI because the 'little kids' thing is just from the author being a shotacon. She hangs out with people who write like that, and they all beta-read each other's work, so if there is some possibility of AI being used, it's bias on its end.

Long before AI was touted as a concern for writing, a thing I noticed in the Dishonored fandom (this was over a decade ago) was that people abused italics a lot. There's nothing wrong with using them, but completely different authors were all using them and their syntax all sounded the same. AI copies from us, so it is just scraping things that are popular at the moment. Don't forget, people on Twitter think em dash use is AI along with 'the rule of three' - three descriptions in a sentence, see the bloody Jackie Kennedy Halloween costume incident - stuff like this is common. It's probably not AI, but them sharing the same Discord and beta readers. They operate in a clique. You'll see this in other fandoms, as well.
How is there no way to report child incest stories on fanfiction.net?
View attachment 8806406
FFnet won't respond to reports and hasn't in over a decade. The website is a skeleton at this point. The only good thing about it is that its review system doesn't allow for deletion from registered users and its PM system. AO3 still doesn't have one despite it just getting out of beta. You won't find luck reporting those on AO3, either, as it believes it's protected speech.

Elsanna is a rather popular ship. There was one I read ages ago that had them becoming lesbian queens who waged a civil war against their subjects because they refused to accept their marriage.
 
This is what people surely needed, LOTR scat fanfiction:

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The Fellowship had left Rivendell, their path winding through shadowed forests and misty hills toward the journey ahead. The air was clean, laced with the scent of pine and earth, but the weight of their quest pressed heavily on each member. Gandalf led; Aragorn kept an eye out for the hobbits, and the hobbits, Frodo, Sam, Merry, and Pippin, talked endlessly to lighten the mood. Legolas and Gimli traded barbs, while Boromir, the proud son of Gondor, marched with a strong walk, his horn at his side.

As the sun was setting, Gandalf called for a halt by a babbling stream. "We rest here," he declared. "The night will fall soon, and we must regain our strength."

The group scattered to their tasks: Frodo and Sam tending to some supplies, Legolas scouting the perimeter, and Gimli sharpening his axe. Merry and Pippin rummaged through their packs with mischievous grins. Boromir sat apart, polishing his sword, his mind on the burdens of his homeland.

"Hey, Boromir!" Pippin called out, his voice high and eager as he bounded over, holding a small, wrapped parcel in his hands. Merry followed close behind. "You've got to try this! It's the best thing we brought from the Shire: Longbottom leaf mixed with some special herbs, baked into these little cakes. We call them 'Hobbit's Delight'!"

Boromir did not look up. “No.”

You don’t even see it yet…” Merry protested.

“I know your voices. That tone means trouble. The answer is no.”

"Oh, come on!" Pippin chimed in, plopping down beside him uninvited. "It's not just any food. It's got mushrooms from Farmer Maggot's fields, plump and juicy ones, and a dash of those secret spices that make your insides feel all warm and fuzzy. Merry and I made a bet on whether you'd like it or not. The loser has to carry the other's pack for a day tomorrow!"

Boromir tries to ignore them, but Merry and Pippin are relentless, their voices a mix of whines and teasing. "Oh, please? Just a bite! You'll regret it if you don't think of it as fellowship bonding!" They danced around him, poking at his armor, until Boromir's patience frayed like an old rope.

"Fine!" he barked, snatching the cake to end the torment. "If it will silence you both." He scooped a hearty portion into his mouth, chewing with rough grimaces. The flavor was odd, leafy, and spicy, with a feeling of something bubbling that twisted his gut almost immediately. "There. Satisfied?" Merry and Pippin exchanged triumphant glances. "Told you he'd like it!" Pippin exclaimed, slapping Merry on the back.

“Now that’s my pack you carry tomorrow!” As Pippin exclaims to Merry, knowing he won the bet. They scampered away, leaving Boromir to his thoughts.

As the group prepared to resume their journey, Boromir felt a sudden warmth spreading through his stomach. A GURGLE. His stomach churned like a stormy sea, sweat beading on his forehead.

The fellowship went up a hill overlooking a misty valley. Boromir could ignore it no longer. His bowels roiled with urgency, a hot, liquid pressure building like a dam about to burst. He clenched his jaw, trying to maintain his balance, but each step sent a jolt through his gut.

Aragorn glanced over. “Boromir? Are you well?”

Boromir nods his head up and down, signaling he is fine.

Another GURGLE. This time it came with a sound, a low, wet GURGLE even over the crackle of the fire.

Boromir couldn't hold it anymore. He was already moving swiftly, stiffly, dignity clinging to him by a thread, toward the thick stand of holly and bracken at the edge of the dell.

“Boromir?” Merry called after him. “Where are you—”

“Nature calls!” Boromir barked without turning. “Do NOT follow!”

He pushed deeper into the leaves, thorns snagging at his cloak, until he found a secluded spot, a small clearing shielded by a cluster of boulders and overgrown ferns. The ground was soft with fallen leaves, and the air hummed with the distant trickle of a stream. Panting slightly, Boromir unbuckled his belt with trembling hands, his face flushed with embarrassment and discomfort. No warrior of Gondor should be seen like this, he thought grimly, but nature's call was strong.

Dropping his trousers, he squatted behind a large boulder, gripping it for support. The first wave hit like a battering ram, an explosive gush of watery stool, hot and foul-smelling, splattering against the leaves with a wet, slapping sound. The odor was overpowering, a rancid mix of fermented mushrooms and bile that made his eyes water. He groaned, his muscles straining as another cramp seized him, forcing out more of the vile liquid in noisy spurts. It burned on the way out, his anus burning from the acid in his intestines, and he could feel beads of sweat trickling down his back.

SPLOOORRTCCHH!!

Wave after wave assaulted him, first loose and splashing, then thicker, like mud drowned in rain. His stomach was squeezing violently, expelling gas in loud, rumbling bursts that echoed off the boulders.

Somewhere far off, he heard Pippin’s voice, muffled but unmistakable:

“I think he liked it!”

“I told you the seedcake was the secret ingredient,” Merry replied smugly.

“I swear,” he muttered between clenched teeth, “if I survive this, those two will never make food again.”

Gas bubbled forth in loud, rumbling bursts, each one painful, in sprays of liquid. The diarrhea irritates the sensitive skin. Sweat poured down his face, mingling with tears of discomfort as he strained. The diarrhea seemed endless, his body purging every last trace of food. He wiped himself hastily with broad leaves from a nearby bush, wincing at the roughness, but relief finally began to show.

Boromir reached for veiny leaves from a nearby bush, using them to clean himself as best he could, wincing at the rough texture against his muscular butt. He stood shakily, pulling up his trousers, his legs weak as if he’d run from the orcs. Relief washed over him, mingled with humiliation.

Rejoining the Fellowship, he avoided eye contact, his face pale but composed. Merry and Pippin glanced his way, sensing something was wrong, but his glare silenced them. “Not a word,” he growled lowly as they passed. From then on, Boromir keeps an eye on all Hobbit offerings with suspicion, with their food a scarring memory between the greater shadows of their quest. Yet in the quiet moments, he couldn’t deny a grudging respect for the little folk’s culture, though he’d sooner face a horde of orcs than another bite of Hobbit’s Delight. The journey continued.

The trio had pursued the Uruk-hai for three long days after they had kidnapped Merry and Pippin as the nights passed across the plains of Rohan. The trail was clearly broken branches, heavy boot prints, and the occasional smear of dark blood, but the orcs moved with unnatural speed, and the men of the Fellowship were weary. At last, as the sun bled red across the western sky, Aragorn called a halt beside a small copse of twisted trees near the edge of Fangorn Forest.

“An hour, no more. The trail grows cold if we linger too long," he said, his voice rough with exhaustion.

Gimli dropped his axe with a grunt and began rooting through his pack for the last of the lembas and dried meat. “Aye, and my belly’s been gnawing at my spine. Pass the rations, laddie.”

Aragorn tossed him a wrapped bundle. Legolas stood a little apart, silver-blond hair stirring in the cool breeze. When Aragorn offered him a portion, the elf raised a slender hand in polite refusal.

“I require little. The forest sustains me enough.”

Gimli snorted through a mouthful. “Suit yourself, pointy-ears. More for us.”

Night fell swiftly. Aragorn and Gimli finished their meal, rolled over, and were soon snoring. Gimli was as loud as a forge bellows, Aragorn quieter but no less deep in the sleep of the bone-weary. Legolas remained in the tree a while longer, silver eyes scanning the darkness. But something was wrong.

His stomach had been uneasy since the second day of the chase. He had eaten almost nothing, trusting his body to sustain itself on little. Now, deep in his bowels, a heavy, stubborn fullness pressed. Not pain, exactly, but more a thick, bloated weight that refused to move. And beneath it, a growing pressure of gas, warm, brewing like storm clouds.

Legolas slipped silently from the branch and moved away from the camp, feet making no sound on the leaf litter. He needed privacy. Mortals might relieve themselves openly; an elf would rather die than be seen in such a state. He walked until the trees thickened and the snoring of his companions faded to a distant rumble. There, in a small hollow screened by bushes and the gnarled roots of an old oak, he stopped.

Legolas pressed a hand to his flat stomach, cheeks faintly warm with embarrassment. He loosened the laces of his leggings, pushed them down to his knees, and crouched. The night air was cool against his bare skin. For a long moment, nothing happened. The waste inside him had hardened into a dense, unyielding mass. His belly cramped, and a low, wet gurgle rolled through his guts.

Then the gas came.

A long, deep fart was pushed out first, hot, heavy, and foul, the stench of days of elven metabolism gone wrong. It rumbles between his cheeks in a stuttering burst, then swells into a rumbling, bubbling roar that seems to go on forever. The smell was thick and earthy, almost sweet beneath the rot, like overripe mushrooms and wine left too long in the sun. Legolas’s pointed ears flushed pink with embarrassment even though no one was near.

Nothing happened at first. The turd within was dense and hard. He bore down, muscles tensing, but only a faint hiss of air escaped. Then, the gas erupted. He pushed harder, his thighs quivering with effort.

Another cramp seized him. He gritted his teeth, breathing hissing between them. The head of the turd was massive, dry, and cracked. It stretched him painfully, a thick, dark log that refused to let go at first. He pushed harder, his thighs trembling. A wet, crackling fart escaped around it, spraying a fine mist of sweat and mucus. Then, with a sudden, sickening lurch, the mass began to move.

It came out of his anus, the wide body of turd, heavy and solid, beneath him in a steaming pile. The relief was great each inch that slid free sent a shiver up his spine. Smaller, softer pieces followed, splattering wetly onto the larger log. The smell grew thicker, almost choking in the still air. Legolas exhaled shakily, sweat beading on his forehead despite the cool night.

One final, wet fart bubbled out, carrying the last soft remnants. He stayed crouched a moment longer, letting his body settle, the ache in his belly slowly easing into blessed emptiness. When he was certain nothing more would come, he used a handful of soft moss to clean himself as best he could, then pulled his leggings back up. He buried the evidence neatly beneath a layer of earth and leaves, and as an elf would, he then straightened, smoothing his tunic. Legolas took a deep, steadying breath and turned back toward camp.

Aragorn and Gimli still slept, unaware. The elf resumed his watch in the tree, lighter, calmer, the urgent pressure of the past days finally gone. The hunt would continue at first light. But for now, in the quiet dark, Legolas allowed himself the smallest, most private smile of relief.

Gríma Wormtongue slunk through the shadowed halls of Isengard, his cloak whispering against the cold stone. The air was thick with the acrid smoke of forges and the distant clamor of Orcs hammering away at Saruman's war machines. His heart pounded with a mix of dread and defiance as he approached the White Wizard's chamber. The failure in Rohan burned in his mind. Théoden, that stubborn old king, had slipped from his grasp. Gandalf the Grey, curse him, had shattered the spell like fragile glass, restoring the king's will and exposing Gríma's treachery. He burst into the room, his pale face twisted in fury. Saruman stood at a high window, gazing out over the churning pits below, his white robes pristine amid the filth.

"Master!" Gríma spat, his voice a venomous whine. "You promised me control! Théoden was to be ours, but your spell—it faltered!

Saruman’s eyes, sharp as shattered glass, fixed upon him. “Faltered? You dare accuse me, Wormtongue? It was your silver words that were meant to bind him, your insidious counsel. Yet you return with excuses, blaming the craft of Orthanc. Disappointing. Utterly disappointing."

Gríma flinched, but his anger flared. "Your magic is weak! If it were stronger—"

“Silence!” Saruman rose, his robes swirling like a whirlwind. He pointed his staff at Gríma, and Saruman raised his staff, murmuring words in an ancient tongue that echoed like thunder in Gríma’s bones. A surge of dark magic enveloped the advisor, twisting through his veins like smoke. It burned, then cooled, leaving him gasping on the stone floor. He gasped, collapsing to the floor, clutching at his abdomen. Pain bloomed, sharp and insistent, but it faded almost as quickly as it came.

Saruman turned away, his attention shifting to the maps sprawled across a nearby table. “Begone from my sight. I have orcs to command—armies that do not fail me. Tend to your… discomfort elsewhere.”

Gríma staggered out, confusion warring with relief. A curse? It had felt like nothing more than a fleeting agony, a scare tactic to intimidate him further. Saruman was ever the master of illusions, after all. He retreated to his quarters in the lower levels of the tower, a dank room filled with the stench of oil and rust from the machinery churning nearby. The orcs’ shouts echoed from the pits below as Saruman’s voice boomed commands, rallying his foul legions for the wars to come. At first, Gríma dismissed the incident, curling up on his pallet, shaking his head, and sneering.

"A scare tactic," he muttered to himself, straightening his cloak. "The old fool thinks to frighten me with parlor tricks. I'll not be frightened so easily."

A loud, prolonged fart erupted from him, echoing off the stone walls with a wet, resonant blast. He clenched his butt, but it was useless.

BLORRRPPPPP!!

The stench hit him immediately, sulfurous, like rotten vegetables mixed with decaying meat. His eyes watered as he waved a hand in front of his face. He stood, pacing, but the relief was short lived. Another wave hit, stronger this time. Gríma doubled over, his hands pressing against his bloating belly. Gríma's eyes widened in shock, his cheeks flushing with humiliation. "No... this can't be..." He tried to hold it back, but another followed, louder and wetter, vibrating through his body like a thunderclap.

BLBLLBLBLBRTTT!!

The gas kept coming, relentless, each expulsion more forceful than the last. He doubled over, gripping the edge of a table, his breath coming in ragged gasps as fart after fart ripped from him, the sounds echoing off the stone walls like mocking laughter.

pff… pff… pffffffRRRRRRTTT!!

Gríma's mind raced, a twisted thrill mingling with his horror. The spell... it was no mere illusion. His body betrayed him, the pressure shifting lower, transforming from mere gas to a desperate, urgent need. His bowels churned, the desperation building to a fever pitch. He clenched his fists, sweat beading on his forehead, but it was futile. The poop demanded release, a hot, insistent mass pressing against his control.

“No,” he hissed through clenched teeth. “I will not do it… I am no animal…”

But the next wave cared nothing for his pride. It rolled through him in slow, unavoidable pulses, each one forcing more gas upward and outward. He stumbled backward until his shoulders hit the cold wall. Staggering to a corner of the room, hidden from the door, Gríma fumbled with his robes, his hands trembling. Another barrage of farts punctuated his efforts, each one longer and more shameful, the air growing hazy with the fetid haze. Half-crawling, half-staggering, he made for the shadowed alcove behind a tall bookshelf, the only place in the chamber that might shield him from the door should some Orc or Dunlending servant pass by. His robes caught on the corner of a chair; he tore them free with a frantic yank. Another barrage of farts erupted as he moved—wet, crackling.

PPPSSSSRRRTTTTBRAAPPP!!!

The air around him thickened into a visible, brownish haze that stung his eyes. At last, he reached the corner. He collapsed against the wall, legs splayed awkwardly, and clawed at the laces of his pants with shaking fingers. They refused to cooperate. Panic rose in his chest. He was going to soil himself like a child, right here on the floor of Orthanc, if he didn’t—HE CAN'T HOLD IT ANYMORE!

Finally, he squatted, unable to hold back any longer. The relief was perfect, a rush of warmth as he poops, the act drawn out and messy, waves of pleasure-pain coursing through him. He moaned softly, caught in the spell's cruel embrace. He yanked the fabric aside just in time. The first thick log slid out slowly, hot and heavy, stretching him wide before dropping with a soft, wet thud onto the stone. Relief and mortification crashed over him. Another followed immediately, a softer, almost liquid, splattering messily against the first.

He couldn’t stop; his body had been given permission, and now it emptied itself with greedy, shameless abandon. Gríma’s head fell back against the wall, his mouth hung open in a silent, trembling cry. The sounds were obscene: wet squelches, low gurgles, and the occasional sharp fart that punctuated the steady flow. Eventually, the worst of the spell’s immediate effects faded out, leaving only mild cramps and the occasional wet, bubbly fart that made him flinch even now. Gríma remained crouched in his corner, breathing shallowly through his mouth, staring at the obscene pile between his feet, knowing he has an big mess to clean up.

The ruins of Isengard still smoked under the moonlight, but the mood was anything but grim. Torches flared along the shattered walls, Ents rumbled as they patrolled the flooded valley, and the Free Peoples had turned the broken courtyard into the rowdiest victory feast. Barrels of ale, mead, and the strange sparkling Ent draught rolled endlessly from the storerooms. Tables groaned under the weight of roast boar, wheels of sharp cheese, piles of buttered mushrooms, honeyed cakes, and sausages. The laughter got louder.

Aragorn raised his cup at the head table, his voice warm with rare mirth. “To the hobbits who helped topple a wizard’s tower! Gimli slammed his tankard down so hard foam flew. “Aye! And to the Ents for finishing the job! I’ve never seen orcs drown so prettily!” Legolas wrinkled his perfect nose, though even he was smiling. From the far end of the longest table, two small voices rose in perfect, gleeful unison.

“SECOND BREAKFAST!” Pippin shouted, mouth already crammed with sausage.

“ELEVENSES!” Merry howled, waving a chicken leg back in front.

“AND LUNCHEON!” they chorused, collapsing into giggles as they stuffed their faces.

Gandalf, pipe in hand, chuckled from his seat. “Pace yourselves, young fools."

“Pah!” Pippin waved a greasy hand. “We’re heroes, Gandalf! Heroes get extra helpings!”

Merry nodded so hard his curls bounced. “Exactly! Pass the gravy boat, Pippin. And another tankard of that fizzy Ent stuff!”

They ate like they’d never eaten before. Merry shoveled in potatoes dripping with butter and herbs until his cheeks bulged. Pippin discovered he could fit an entire boiled egg in his mouth at once and did so repeatedly, making exploding noises that had nearby Rohirrim roaring with laughter. They drank tankard after tankard of foaming ale, sweet mead, and the strange, bubbly Ent draught that made their insides feel like tree roots were gently stirring them. The first warning came half an hour later. It started low in Merry’s belly, a deep, wet glorp that vibrated through his chair. He shifted, trying to play it cool.

“Er… pardon me,” he muttered, but it was too late.

SSSSSPPPPLLORRTT!!

A long, bassy fart rolled out of him like a muffled, thick, and rotten, cheesy-smelling sausage grease. The riders at the next table actually leaned away, coughing.

Pippin burst out laughing so hard he nearly choked on a mushroom. “Merry! That one could knock an orc off his warg!”

Merry grinned through the strain, rubbing his swollen belly. “Better out than in, Pip.”

Pippin’s eyes sparkled with mischief. He leaned back, lifted one cheek, and let loose.

PPPPPPPPFFFFFFFFFRRRRTTTTTT!!

A wet, splattery blast erupted, so juicy it made the bench creak.

“Pip!” Merry wheezed, waving a hand in front of his face. Pippin howled with laughter, tears streaming. “Worth it! I feel ten pounds lighter already!”

But the laughter didn’t last. The pressure kept building. Their bellies, now tight as squeezing, gurgled and churned. Hot cramps twisted through them like living things. Sweat prickled on their foreheads despite the cool night air. Merry clutched the edge of the table. “Pip… I think the Ent-draught is too much for me. I need the privy. Right now.”

Pippin’s face went pale, then bright red. “Same here!”

They slid off the bench and bolted, short legs churning across the muddy courtyard. The only standing outhouse was an old, crooked wooden shack that the orcs had clearly used for their own business. It was at the far edge near a pile of rubble. The door hung drunkenly on one hinge, but it was the only place to stay.

They both got there at the same time and crashed into each other like two barrels. "Me first!" Merry yelled, pushing Pippin hard with both hands.

“No way!” Pippin shoved back, standing on his feet. “I’ve got more in me than you!” Another monstrous fart ripped out of Merry—loud, wet, and so foul it made Pippin’s eyes water instantly.

BBBBLLLLOOOORRRTT!!

“See?” Merry gasped, face screwed up in effort. Pippin answered with his own desperate blast, this one so splattery it left a warm spot on the seat of his pants.

SSSSPPPPLRRRRRTTTTT!!

“I’m begging you, Merry!” he wailed, hopping from foot to foot, one hand clamped desperately over his backside. “I can feel it coming out already!” Merry’s eyes were wild. “Tough luck, Pip! Heroes first!” He pushed Pippin hard with his shoulder, yanked the broken door open, and jumped inside.

"Mine!" he yelled, slamming the door and pushing the rusty bolt home.

“MERIADOC BRANDYBUCK, YOU TRAITOR!” Pippin screamed, hammering both fists on the wood. “Open up!"

Inside the dark outhouse, Merry didn’t waste a second. He dropped his pants, squatted over the foul hole, and let nature take its revenge. “Ohhhhhh…” he groaned in pure, filthy bliss as a massive, soft stool exploded out of him, thick, steaming, and endless. Wet plops and splatters echoed in the tiny space. He sighed happily, eyes half-lidded.

Outside, Pippin was in full panic. He was running around in a circle, knees knocking, and face turning red. “Merry, please!" A massive fart comes out of him, wet and splattery, staining the seat of his breeches brown before he could even clench. And then the first warm, mushy shart happened. Pippin whined, his eyes wide with fear.

A hot, heavy wave of soft poop flooded his trousers in one humiliating gush. It squelched loudly, soaking through his breeches, sliding thick and warm down the backs of his legs, filling his boots with gooey sludge. The smell is so overwhelmingly foul that even Pippin gagged. Another uncontrollable push sent more soft plops sliding out, pattering onto the ground between his feet and forming a warm, steaming pile that slowly spread.

He stood there frozen, legs trembling, tears of embarrassment pricking his eyes. Inside, Merry let out one final satisfied grunt, tore off a strip of old orc banner for wiping, and called cheerfully through the door, “Better luck next time, Pip!" "Maybe next feast you’ll run faster!”

Pippin could only whimper. Another soft, wet squelch escaped as the last of the accident finished oozing down his legs. He could feel the warm mush squishing between his toes with every tiny shift. Pippin hung his head, face burning hotter than the torches. “I hate you, Merry…”

The door of the outhouse creaked open. Merry stepped out, adjusting his belt, looking utterly smug and three pounds lighter. He took one look at the brown-stained, defeated figure of his best friend and burst out laughing so hard he had to lean against the outhouse.

“Aww, Pip! You mess yourself!” He clapped Pippin on the back. “Come on, let’s get you cleaned up.”

The passages of the Dead Marshes wore Frodo and Sam’s weary feet as they trudged onward, guided by the slinking form of Gollum. Days had blurred into a monotonous haze of climbing, hiding, and evading the ever-watchful eyes of Sauron’s minions. The air was thick with the stench of mud and wet, and the hobbits’ supplies were dwindling. Gollum, with his pale skin and bulging eyes, led them through narrow passes, muttering to himself in that raspy, dual-voiced way that sent chills down Sam’s spine.

“We must keeps going, precious,” Gollum hissed, his long fingers twitching as he glanced back at the two hobbits. “The fat one slows us down. Yes, he does. But Master is kind to poor Smeagol.”

Frodo nodded weakly, his gaunt face shadowed by the weight of the Ring hanging from his neck. Sam wiped the sweat off his forehead and moved the heavy pack on his back. "Mr. Frodo, I still don't trust that slimy thing any more than I can throw it." And with these rations runnin’ low, we’ll be eatin’ rocks soon.”

He rummaged in his pack, pulling out a small pot, some dried herbs, and the scraps of lembas bread they’d managed to save. “Here, let’s stop for a bit. I’ll whip up somethin’ to keep our strength up. Won’t take but a minute.”

Gollum's eyes sparkled with mischief as Sam worked on starting a small, smokeless fire in a sheltered crevice, being careful not to draw attention to himself. He crouched down as if he were looking ahead, but his eyes kept going back to the hobbits. Frodo sat nearby, lost in thought, staring at the horizon. Sam hummed a quiet song from the Shire while he mixed lembas with water and herbs to make a simple stew. He turned his back for a moment to get more wood.

That's when Gollum got an idea. Silent as a shadow, he slithered forward, his bony fingers dipping into the pot. With a wicked grin, he scooped up a handful of foul-smelling muck from the ground, rotted leaves mixed with his handful of slimy black mushrooms he’d plucked from the swamp earlier, pale gills dripping with something that smelled like rot and dead fish. He crushed the ingredients between his palms, mashed the foul paste into the bubbling food, and stirred it into the mixture. “Nasty hobbitses,” he whispered to himself. “They takes our precious. Now they gets a taste of Smeagol’s revenge. Yes, precious, make the fat one squirm.”

He slipped away again just as Sam returned, oblivious, and stirred the pot one last time before portioning it out into two crude bowls carved from wood. “There we are, Mr. Frodo. Nothin’ fancy, but it’ll fill the hole in our bellies.”

Frodo looked at the steaming concoction, his stomach twisting not from hunger but from the growing burden of the Ring. “I’m not hungry, Sam. You eat it. Save your strength.”

Sam frowned, concern etching his round face. “You sure, Mr. Frodo? You’ve hardly touched a thing in days. Can’t have you fadin’ away on me.”

“I’ll be fine,” Frodo insisted, waving it off.

With a shrug, Sam dug in, spooning the stew into his mouth. At first, it tasted off very bitter, with an odd, slimy texture but he chalked it up to the poor ingredients. “Bit tangy, ain’t it? Must be them wild herbs.” He finished the bowl quickly, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. Gollum watched from afar, his lips curling into a sly smile.

They pressed on as the sun dipped low, casting long shadows over the wet landscape. Gollum urged them forward relentlessly. “No time for rests, master! Orcs is near, yes they is.”

But not long after, Sam’s face paled, and a low rumble echoed from his gut. He clutched his stomach, wincing. “Oh, blimey… Mr. Frodo, somethin’ ain’t right. That stew’s not sittin right with me."

Frodo glanced back, worry creasing his brow. “What do you mean? Are you ill?”

Sam grimaced, sweat beading on his forehead as another cramp hit him. “It must’ve been bad herbs or somethin’. I… I need to find a spot.”

Gollum turned, his eyes wide with feigned innocence. “What wrongs with the fat hobbit? We can’t stops now! The path is dangerous. Move, move!”

“Shut your gob!” Sam snapped, his voice strained as he scanned the terrain for any semblance of privacy a bush, anything. But the land was unforgiving, flat and exposed except for sharp wet outcrops. His desperation grew, the pressure building like a dam about to burst. “Mr. Frodo, I can’t hold it…”

Frodo hurried to his side, supporting Sam’s arm. “Hang on, Sam. There’s a cluster of bushes over ther-”

But Gollum blocked their path, hopping anxiously. “No, no! We goes this way, precious. No time for hobbitses’ nasties. Smeagol knows best!”

“Out of the way, you wretched thing!” Sam growled through gritted teeth, shoving past Gollum. He stumbled toward the bushes. The pressure was cramping, a heavy, liquid weight that threatened to burst with every heartbeat. His legs trembled. Another cramp doubled him over. He staggered behind tall bushes, fumbling at his belt with shaking fingers, but it was too late. A sharp, uncontrollable spasm hit him, and with a mortified groan, he felt the warm, humiliating rush. His pants soiled immediately, the mess spreading uncomfortably as he froze in place, face burning red.

Sam gasped, mortified, as the mess spread soft and sticky between his buttocks. Another wave followed immediately, noisier and wetter, the fabric of his trousers darkening rapidly down the backs of his thighs. He stood frozen, knees locked, feeling the warm weight shift and sag inside his pants with every tiny movement. A final, uncontrollable spurt trickled down the inside of one leg. “Mr. Frodo, I… I couldn’t… it’s everywhere.” Sam muttered, tears of embarrassment stinging his eyes.

Frodo’s eyes widened in sympathy, quickly averting his gaze to give his friend some dignity. “It’s alright, Sam. These things happen on the road. We’ll clean you up as best we can.”

Gollum cackled softly, covering his mouth with a hand. “Filthy hobbitses! See? Too slow, too weak. But Master is strong. Yes, he is. Come, we leaves the smelly one behind?”

“Smeagol!” Frodo barked, his voice sharper than usual. He helped Sam to the bushes, where they improvised with what little water they had and spare cloth from their packs. Sam, humiliated but grateful, changed into his spare pants, burying the soiled ones under a pile of dirt.

As they go back on track, Sam’s steps are wobbly. “Won’t happen again, Mr. Frodo. I’ll watch that creature like a hawk from now on.”

Gollum slunk ahead, whispering to himself. “They suspects nothing, precious. But Smeagol will have his fun again. Yes, he will.”

People laughed and sang in the Great Hall of Meduseld all night long. There were flickering torches, and the people who survived Helm's Deep celebrated their impossible win. Legolas and Gimli were in one corner playing their favorite drinking game, in which they had to drink a tankard for every orc they said they had killed. The Elf's cheeks were a soft red, and the Dwarf's beard was already wet.

"Seventy-four!" Gimli roared, slamming his empty mug down.

“Seventy-five,” Legolas replied.

Across the hall, Éowyn saw Aragorn, where he stood speaking quietly with Gandalf. She carried a steaming bowl in both hands, her face shy but proud. Éowyn approached him quietly with a wooden bowl. The stew inside was thick, grey-brown, and smelly. She had cooked it herself after the battle: leftover roots, questionable mushrooms from the Deeping Wall, and a generous handful of wild herbs she was certain were safe.

“My lord,” she said, offering it. “I made it myself, as thanks… for everything.”

Aragorn looked at her bowl and then at her face, which was full of hope. The meat was gray. The broth looked strange and green. There was one lump on top that looked like a dead toad. But Éowyn's eyes were full of hope, and everyone in the hall was watching. He smiled and bowed as he took the bowl.

"You honor me, Lady Éowyn."

He ate it all, spoonful after spoonful, praising each bite.

“Rich,” he lied.

Éowyn glowed. She touched his arm once, then slipped away into the crowd, heart fluttering.

Aragorn waited until she was gone, then quietly put the empty bowl down and left. He slipped outside into the cold night air and headed for the stables. The feast was over an hour later. Most of the Rohirrim had either gone to bed or fallen asleep where they were. The horses were calm, and most of the Rohirrim were still inside drinking. He found an empty stall at the far end, leaned against a post, and let out a long, tired breath.

It started low in his gut, a deep, rolling ~GURGLE.~ Aragorn’s eyes widened. He pressed a hand to his belly. Then it came.

BRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPP!!!

A long, wet, bubbling blast that echoed off the wooden walls and made the nearest horse snort and stamp. The smell hit him as thick, rotten, like boiled cabbage left in a grave for three days. Aragorn’s face twisted in horror.

“Never… again… will I lie about stew.”

Another one followed immediately, louder, higher-pitched, ending in a wet splutter.

SPPPPPPLLLLFFTTTTT!!

He doubled over, clutching his stomach. The stew was fighting back with a vengeance. His bowels felt like a cauldron at full boil. Sweat broke out on his forehead despite the chill.

BRRRRRRRRRTTTT!!!

Aragorn staggered to the back wall, legs trembling. A loud fart tore out of him, so powerful it vibrated his boots against the stone. It went on and on, a deep, rattling, bubbling roar that seemed to come from the very roots of the Misty Mountains. The sound filled the stable, bounced back, and filled it again. The smell was now a living thing, thick and eggy, with notes of spoiled meat and sulfur.

He tried to walk to the door for fresh air and immediately regretted it. Every step squeezed out another wet, squelching fart. His stomach cramped, then released a very loud, wet fart that made the nearby horses shift uneasily and snort in protest. One of them actually backed away from its stall, eyes rolling.

Prrrt… prrrt… PFFFFFFFRRRRRRT SPPLUURTT

His face burned with shame even though no one was there to see. Another wave hit. He dropped to his knees in the straw, hands planted on the ground, his ass pointed at the door.

BLBLBLBLBLBRRRTTT!!!

Aragorn rested his forehead against the cool wood of the stall and let out a broken, defeated laugh that turned into another long, bubbling fart. He stayed there for a while, alone in the dark, with only the wet gas from his bowels and the distant, nervous snorting of the Rohirrim steeds as sounds.

Aragorn’s voice was tired from groaning, his legs weak, and the entire building smelled like the aftermath of a troll feast. Finally, he collapsed onto a hay bale, defeated. His stomach still churned. From somewhere behind him came a soft, feminine voice.

“My lord… are you quite well?”

It was Éowyn.

Aragorn froze mid-fart. forcing a nasty belch that tasted exactly like the stew. He turned slowly, face pale. Éowyn stood a few paces away, cloak drawn tight, concern written across her face.

“I… heard strange noises,” she said. "Was that you?"

"No-” Aragorn opened his mouth. Another fart answered for him long, low, and mournful.

Éowyn’s eyes widened. Then, slowly, she began to smile. “Ah,” she said, the smile turning into a grin. “The mushrooms were… perhaps a little strong.”

Aragorn could only nod, very embarrassed by the reliefung his gas in front of Lady Éowyn.

Éowyn stepped closer, utterly unfazed by the smells in the stables. Shall I fetch you some milk from the kitchens, my lord?” she asked sweetly.

“I will be fine.” He said, he was not sure he would survive Éowyn’s stew or milk...

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Our Bridgerton AU is starting to get juicy. A powerplay falls on our characters after the death of a King, and now they must fight against a coalition of pompous idiots high on their own supply.
We ended the last chapter with the poisoned King finally dying. Predictably, the Frowning Friends take advantage of this, with Salo calling the 'Princes of Zaun' murderers, with Hoskel and Bolbok joining in with the hammiest dialogue imaginable:
“Piltover cannot allow the rot of Zaun to taint the sacred throne,” he declared, making the sign of the cross over his chest. “The king has been murdered by unholy hands. These creatures feigned loyalty while sharpening their knives in the dark. We must not let their poison trample us! If we do not act now, tomorrow the entire city will fall under the Zaunite yoke.”
Calls ring out for proper annexation of Zaun; for them to become a colony again and for them to raise up arms to defend themselves. They demand Cassandra, who is now head of the council after his death (and none of his sons have been summoned when they should have as soon as the King got sick) declare war on Zaun, but she and Shoola order them for silence. They need evidence that the Princes murdered the King, so Cassandra dismisses their concerns and calls for violence. She declares that Frederick, the eldest son, is now King. As she ponders the situation, the author forgot to edit this:
Caitlyn’s words flashed through her mind.

Caitlyn’s words ran through her mind. Her daughter might not have the best manners, or an endless list of suitors, but if one thing was certain, it was that Caitlyn always told the truth.
Yes, she wrote the same thing twice. She considers how Hoskel, Salo and Bolbok have always thrown up roadblocks at every meeting, preventing any peace clause from being signed, and announces that only ten minutes have passed since the King's death and she will not tolerate these dangerous accusations. She wants evidence to be presented, and declares the Princes of Zaun under the Council's protection. No one is to leave the room. Bolbok mutters under his breath about her insolence, while Hoskel anticipates this response by suggesting he leave to inform the King's two sons of the situation. Cassandra tells him he can go it from the Council room. Salo is the most vocal and angriest of them; he slams a fist onto the table and demands action. He wants the princes charged with regicide and for them to be put to death; the 'kingdom must pay for this tragedy', he says. While this happens, he is asked where his maid is from Powder. He responds that she is at his house, 'busy cleaning as maids do'. Seeing the growing tension, Cassandra orders that the King's body must be prepared for funeral rites, and that only the Royal Physician can perform this task. Along with this, two witnesses of the King's death must be present for them. Mel, with a threatening glance from her mother, offers to go, along with Tobias, Cassandra's husband. They leave to prepare for the rites.

Afterwards, Cassandra orders silence and order in the room:
The council chamber remained thick with tension, like a cable on the verge of snapping. Cassandra Kiramman, as if she possessed the authority to command storms, tapped her knuckles lightly on the table to demand absolute silence.
Even when no one was speaking. Cassandra declares Hoskel as the regent, and under their laws, people must present evidence of the grievous accusations lodged against the Princes. She demands the truth and nothing but the truth; anything and everything else is defamation. Salo wastes no time blaming Powder for poisoning the King, as he began to fall ill as soon as she spent time with him. He accuses her of spewing venom into the King's ears; Ekko, who is standing behind her, is about to crack some cracka skulls with his tense jaw and bulging neck veins, but Powder ends up speaking for herself. In a Gavin Newsom move, she goes, 'Curious, that's very curious' before lunging into her own accusation: the King drafted up a peace treaty ready to go that was agreeable to all parties, but it was held up for months and on the verge of it being signed, he ends up dead and they have a convenient target to blame. Of course, their plot wasn't exactly subtle and there doesn't seem to be a concept of 'spying' in this world, so this was able to get as far as it was due to plot holes and authorial incompetence.

Viktor, assessing the situation, notices that Mel is upset, with swollen eyes and unkempt hair (it appears Ambessa went as a witness instead, which makes you wonder why a foreign general was chosen), before Salo turns on him, blaming him for his injuries after he spotted him and his sisters fleeing. Viktor responds by saying his maid, whom he never spoke to, offered to expose their charade and how his wounds were the result of self defense. Salo, in a great act of self-implication, goes, 'who would believe a poor maid?' and insults Viktor's intelligence. He doesn't seem aware - nor does the author, for that matter - that he admitted to harming his maid in an effort to shut her up. He wants to 'live life to the fullest'; a poor maid means nothing to him. Jayce clenches his jaw, wanting to smash the blond's face in, but is confident that Viktor can stick up for himself. Cassandra then slams the gavel, demanding more order, and declares they're there for two things: the death of the king, and the peace treaty.

Bolbok then speaks - well, he tries, his voice is dry and he needs water - on how he's been at the king's side for decades and has never seen him as ill as when the Zaunite princes arrived. The Zaunites took up arms and established their own kingdom (but not a democracy, ho hum) and that people are right to be weary of a colony that is now an independent nation. Cassandra allows him to finish, and then allows Viktor to respond to the accusations. He says that he was sent there as an envoy to end the forever wars across both sides of the river and the sea so they could build bridges with treaties and marriage. 'We didn't come here to kill anyone' is what he says, which Hoskel laughs at. He replies with a grandiose speech of his own:
“What a noble speech, Your Highness. Very convenient, no doubt. But allow me to cast doubt on it with something more tangible than good intentions. Your parents sent their three children, the direct heir among them, to the court of a kingdom with which they have been in open yet silent conflict for years. Doesn’t that seem like an absurd risk? Any sensible monarch would have sent lower-ranking diplomats, experienced advisors, not their own flesh and blood. Unless, of course, the true objective was never peace, but rather to place their children at the very heart of Piltover to facilitate a larger maneuver. Once inside, with direct access to the king… the opportunity presents itself. And now, with the monarch dead and the treaty stalled, Zaun could argue that Piltover is unstable and justify any future aggression. It’s a masterstroke, if I may say so. Too perfect to be mere coincidence.”
Which of course is also stupid. Silco never sent any lower nobles because they don't have any. It has never been explained how this new kingdom is set up, only that princesses are also princes and that trans men can be princes but also sold for their reproductive capabilities and that they are recognized by other nations but not the nation they broke free from...ring any bells? In any case, it's not out of the blue to send the children of monarchs for peace treaties. Kings of yore did it all the time. He says it was a way for them to take out the King to steal the kingdom for themselves, which doesn't really make sense as Zaun was not the aggressor - Piltover was - and they are not in a strategic position to do so without being invaded. They are notably not the one who is aided by a foreign army.

Vi jumps in, saying that Hoskel would find it advantageous that the king died as the treaty would have promised share trade routes and power, undermining the insider trading done by men like him. It is convenient that the King died after their continued delays, granting Hoskel the regency immediately and the ability to do whatever he wants. Cassandra calls for order after her improper language; she needs evidence for such accusations as if everybody is hiding said documents under their clothes. Remember that vial of hemlock Viktor had? Do you remember where it went? It flat out disappeared when that was meant to be one of their biggest pieces of evidence. This entire trial is literally a he-said-she-said fiasco (Ekko also has his knuckles 'turn white' despite being a dark-skinned black man).

Viktor, written as the cool and intelligent would-be politician who knows how to play his cards, brings up the fact that the letters he sent to Silco were never mailed. I guess we also forgot about the magic Hermes pen that allowed letters to be sent anonymously, without need of a mailing system. It left them alone and pitted against the Frowning Friends while Salo was allowed to go abroad to talk with a foreign army about the need for intervention (indeed, such a plot point is not brought up and no Piltovan seems to have an issue with the Noxians on their soil). Powder notes that he, quite literally, has blood on his shoes, and blushes, implicating himself. He tries to bluff his way out by saying he dismissed Amelie, but Jayce calls this out by noting he originally said she was at his house cleaning. He asks what the truth is, and Salo tells him to be quiet as they are in the presence of 'respectable ladies'. This doesn't include Vi and Powder, something she outwardly notes, to which Salo says that he doesn't extend respect to murderers, male or female.

Jayce rises up at this insult, threatening him, his face red and knuckles clenched. Shoola tells him to calm down or else he will be thrown out of the chamber. Luckily, this doesn't happen: Bolbok starts coughing violently and falls to the floor, allowing Jayce to talk to Mel. Initially, she doesn't want to talk to him as her mother took out her loss in the duel on her, but gasps when she notices the Medarda seal on the letter.
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> How they were going to use you as bait to hurt Viktor through me
Yes, because hurting a white (wo)man breaks more hearts than hurting a black one. Fuck that black bitch - look at those white tears instead!
> You could claim they forced you, that you were just another pawn
If the author really wanted to be evil, Mel could simply blame Viktor and have that white son of a bitch get humbled, but no. The author isn't that cruel.
> We were good friends, Mel
Where? There has never been any textual evidence of them being friends, only Mel being a scorned woman because Jayce rejected her for some soggy white pussy.
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> The Zaunites didn't just poison the king - they were also after the archbishop
Everyone here is so retarded it beggars belief. First, Viktor was already accused of poisoning the King a few chapters ago, yet was never investigated or held under house arrest. Second, it's odd how both the King AND the archbishop both got sick with the same symptoms with no one in their inner circle finding it suspicious. Third, no one bothered summoning the king's sons as soon as they learned he was sick. These men are parading around their guilt and no one finds that weird? No one?
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> Pointed directly at Viktor with an accusing finger
Not the accusing finger!
> so far we have heard only mutual accusations. Do you have any real proof of your innocence?
If you knew this kind of jury trial was happening, why didn't you order your guards to go looking for evidence BEFORE this happened? You are accusing a rival kingdom of poisoning another. Where the fuck are your spies? Lawyers? The comedians?
> They wanted to provoke a war with Zaun to justify a total annexation
So Piltover wants a Greater Piltover project, paid for by Piltovan taxpayers and Zaunite lives. I wonder what that is a reference to.
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> The pieces fit together too neatly
You have the guiltiest of guilty men - one of whom more or less admitted his guilt by walking in there with bloodied shoes - trying to pin the blame on rival monarchs. Holy fuck are these people stupid.

To no one's surprise, the vial of hemlock Viktor stored in his luggage is now being lodged against him as proof of his crimes. What will he do to prove his innocence? Drink it.
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> Salo's maid gave us this before he disappeared her
Regency people did not talk like that.
> Letters exchanged between Archbishop Bolbok and General Medarda. In them, they deal the entire plan: how to poison the king and use his death to frame us
And not once did these people think it strange that Noxus, a trading partner, is all of a sudden sending armies to a land currently not at war. Nothing sus at all there, no ma'am.
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> The prince is known for being a master of handling new materials, according to...
He's a master of handling machines, not plants, if we're being specific (and to be fair, Viktor has never had his genius explored in this at all. The invention subplot was only mentioned in TWO chapters).
>If I knew, because I made it, I would not dare drink it. But since it is not mine, I will
"I'll off myself with poison to show that the archbishop currently dying by the same poison didn't poison the king" - amazing logic, if I do say so myself.
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> Lores
*Lords
> Her face was as white as paper
She's a dark-skinned black woman. She isn't losing her melanin to look like a ghost 😭 You know some flavour of Asian who has never seen someone darker than a Filipino wrote this.
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> The king was poisoned. I suspected it the moment I saw the body
You'd think Tobias would be a larger character in this fic considering he's a doctor. If this was written smartly, Cait would have brought him in earlier and had to protect him against attempts on his life. What a wasted character.
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Bolbok is on the ground dying. He can barely speak. When did he get his voice back?
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> Looked at his hands and felt a pocket in his pants
...What? Are you looking at your hands, or are they in your pockets?
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> Satnwick
*Stanwick
> This reeks of an underground conspiracy to overthrow the natural order of Piltover!
You don't say. For a regicide plot, it manages to be one completely under the rug and one everyone knows about at the same time. Everyone knew the King was sick and did not bother to summon his sons; the Frowning Friends weren't exactly discreet about what they wanted and were not seen as suspects. It's literally a Scooby Doo plot.
> Even public opinion is on our side
You were just accused of regicide. Who the fuck is on your side?
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> They're signed by Archbishop Bolbok and General Medarda
> Salo calls him a piece of trash since he didn't burn them, confirming his guilt
200 IQ assassins, right here.
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> He felt his strength leaving him
You'd never know a knife went through his ribs with the speeches he was making. He identifies as injured.
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> Without her mother, money would be scarce
A lot of Mel's wealth and personality was transferred to Shoola in this. Originally, Mel was one of the wealthiest women in Piltover, 'but the poorest Medarda', as her family gained their wealth from building the Sun Gates. She built the opera hall, but in this fic, Shoola did. Mel is just a broke woman who has to watch a man who is allegedly her friend cuck her for soggy white pussy, vs being an exile who did not fit the version of a 'proper Noxian'.

Now, we have the accusation that Jayce has sexually shamed Mel in some way. This would not work for multiple reasons:
- Despite her say so, Mel and Jayce were never actually seen together by anyone.
- He never sent her any gifts, letters, or flowers.
- He is never seen speaking to her.

Despite this, she is going to try to forge all of Viktor's letters to match Mel's handwriting, which is awfully complex for a woman who can't seem to use spies and prostitutes to get her proper tea.
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If this were written smartly, Ambessa should have immediately brought up the marks on Viktor's neck. She could have shown everyone that Viktor, a prince, gave away his sacred virginity to a Viscount, thereby tainting him in the eyes of his kingdom. Slut shaming a pooner does a lot more damage than trying to argue a Latino raped a black woman.
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> If Mel spoke up, if she defended Jayce too fervently, her mother would be left alone, disgraced and abandoned in a cell
...so? She's a foreign warmonger. Mel will suffer more as she is supposed to be an ambassador. She might just get deported while Ambessa would be killed (and if the Noxians respond poorly to that, well).
> The viscount was so eager to be with her that he could no longer contain himself
Again, accusing Viktor of being a harlot would do a lot more damage than leveraging your daughter, simply because no one gives a shit about Mel. Viktor, being the precious white soggy vagina owner, is worth more in flesh, so simply telling him to take off his shirt and show the love bites would convince a lot more people of his primal habits.
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> Marry Mel. Restore my daughter's honor
...are you asking a rake to marry your daughter, which would realistically piss you off more? Ambessa wouldn't handle a man accused of sexual impropriety. She'd use the 'this Latino raped a black woman, you must kill him to avoid the race war' to her benefit; she wouldn't force her to marry him!

Of course, our poor prince saves the day by admitting that he's a slut and that Jayce proposed to him, not Mel. Fuck the GDP, we do this for love.
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This tidbit shows that they could have framed Viktor better by having The Frowning Friends steal this book and put hemlock petals inside it, showing that Viktor had a bizarre fascination with poisons. That would have been a great piece of evidence for their case, but since they're all collectively retarded, they didn't think of this. I am thinking of far better murder plots by hate-reading, go figure.
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> I never wanted to marry him
No niggers in my slash~
> She had chosen not to choose the viscount
*She did not choose the viscount
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> He belongs to his kingdom. To his duty. To his lineage
If the intent all along was to marry him to someone from Zaun, Silco should have said that from the get-go. Hell, I don't even know WHY they'd choose kings when they are a society built on chem-barons. Their political system would be like Bill the Butcher's 'Gangs of New York'. He was sent there to be a 'pawn in the game'; marriage was surely the end result to bring their two kingdoms together. If not a viscount, who was Viktor to marry? A Council member?
> Zaun will never accept that its future King has almost handed his kingdom over to vultures
First it was rats, now vultures. It's used three times in this chapter. Second, intermarriage was always going to be the end goal to avoid annexation. Silco would have promoted it; if he never wanted intermarriage to occur, he'd marry him to a chem-baron or something. The worldbuilding is lacking when you look at it closely.
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You can renounce your title. It won't erase the fact you had premarital sex. That isn't as much a scandal as intermarriage between one of the wealthiest men in the city and an up-and-coming kingdom. This author has never heard of the trend when British royals married American women to boost their failing dynasties with their money. Money can get you anywhere; Zaun itself was built on dirty money. Somehow I don't think their citizens would care - if they did, they would have opposed them from leaving for a treaty in the first place.

Ah, well. Silco and Vander will appear in the next chapter. Wonder what kind of shenanigans they'll get up to there.

After having their heart-to-heart in the pale, cold moonlight, our two disabled lovers dream about tiny waists and moon-pale skin in the cold moonlight. Our Bougie Bookstore is now on Chapter 5.
After their hearty heart-to-heart in the prior chapter where they spent the entire time trauma dumping and who occupied a higher place on the disabled totem pole, Jayce has the best sleep of his life. He thinks about 'enticing beauty marks' and dreamy sighs, leading him to come a total of three times on his stomach. He wakes at dawn and spends the time in bed rather than showering, thinking of our bougie bookstore owner 'looking impossibly beautiful in the pale moonlight' and how it's made that Hispanic Hog twitch for the first time in years. Jayce hasn't done romance in years, mostly due to health issues: on top of surgeries, pain meds, and rehab, there's been no time or patience to court someone. Even when he's done with his pain meds, he feels shame at using his body for pleasure, 'broken and failing as it was'. This is the first time Jayce, and not Viktor, is described with that language.

And if you thought this fic was safe from this:
But then came Viktor with his lovely face and a tiny waist that Jayce was pretty sure would fit in his hands just right.

It turned out that Jayce's parts worked just fine.

At least he knew with certainty that his body was still something he could offer to Viktor. Something that Viktor could enjoy and find pleasure in. The thought made Jayce feel marginally better about getting close to the man and, frankly, wasting his time.
The answer is no. He's just uwu so smol with an itsy bitsy waist about to get plowed by a cock the size of his forearm. You know the drill.

Jayce, happy that his body is working, thinks about Viktor again. He thinks on how he deserved better than Dmitri; how he had dodged a 'nuclear bomb' by leaving that man, even when it was established in the prior chapter he more or less had his life ruined. Both of them are afraid of starting a new relationship: Jayce fears he won't be good enough, and Viktor fears having his trust destroyed. Viktor wants something stable, while Jayce's expectations are 'subpar'; he even fears he can't fulfill Viktor's expectations and is embarrassed to admit he might be inadequate for him. He later admits that his persona of being a big, affable man is just a front; he's actually insecure and something of a manchild who spends another chapter trauma dumping on how he isn't good enough.

Jayce himself is a bit of a self-hating cripple: he doesn't install any disability aids in his bathroom or apartment because of procrastination, with his therapist even telling him that denying it won't make it go away. He takes a hot shower, cleans himself up to meet Mel, and has a bit of a mea culpa when thinks about driving. While he has plenty of money to use Ubers his entire life (one asks why he doesn't just hire a personal driver), driving anywhere himself gives him PTSD. He argues it's stupid anyway because of his bum leg; he is more fearful of the surgery in 40 days to fix it and the ensuing trauma. He has pain days that keep him up for days and nights on end, with some so bad he wishes a bit of self-harm on himself to the pain can finally be somewhere else.

The day comes for his surgery and he gets behind the wheel for the first time. He makes it to the hospital safely, sits in the waiting room, and thinks about how lonely he is. While Mel, his mother, and even Cait who lives a state away offers to be with him after his discharge, he prefers to go home - but not before he thinks of Viktor in this trying times. Maybe our pale moonlight beauty can be the waifu he has always wanted, ready and waiting at home to give him company. However, he decides it isn't fair to lodge such a conservative view on someone he just met, so he jumps back to the present (with the help of a nurse) and heads to the examination room. His muscles are atrophying despite his attempts at exercise, and, most notably, his pain is always a 10. One must remember that, in Chapter 4, he straight up tells Viktor he doesn't take pain meds. He's just raw-dogging the pain (along with someone else, hehe).

As it happens, the surgery is there to amputate his entire leg. The doctors feel that keeping it is more of a bane than a boon, and that simply chopping it off is better in the long term. He is also slightly suicidal, but won't act on his moods, and must be in contact with his therapist the entire time. The doctors tell him he can still change his mind; if not, the procedure will occur in a month. After all is said and done, Jayce heads outside to cry, because his life sure does suck, doesn't it?

We then cut to Viktor. The bougie bookstore that's empty on Wednesdays is now drowning in online orders and deliveries; he might have to hire a third employee just to mail them out and he barely has time to do that has he also manages the finances. He's hungry and in pain, but not to worry: like Jayce, he also headed home to masturbate with thoughts of him kissing him. A simple kiss made him sticky and wet, but he can't masturbate properly because his fingers are too small and they're only good for brushing against his little cock. So sad. If Jayce doesn't want to kiss him, it means he doesn't want to pursue him, but Viktor wants him to, and he wants it so bad his chest aches. He regrets not asking Jayce for his number and is about to have another self-hating session when Jayce arrives. He resembles the 'prettiest photograph' with windswept hair, dressed in black with a fancy coat and sweater.

Viktor is so distracted by his hair he forgot that he invited Jayce to another date, but thankfully his leg is also acting up and it leads to him croaking out 'You came?' like he's a horny Cryptkeeper. Jayce asks 'was I not supposed to?' and it leads to some flirty stuttering between them. Jayce's meeting ran unexpectedly long, hence why he's late; he also sent Viktor a DM on Instagram, but Viktor never saw it because he was swamped with work. He notices Jayce's mood and face, riddled with emotional and physical pain, and asks if he is okay. Jayce replies with another question of his own: 'Can I hug you?' Viktor expects a gentle hug, but gets a full blown, arms-around-the-back and face cuddled into his neck kind of hug:
Jayce wrapped him up in his arms immediately, his big hands splayed over Viktor's back. His face found its home in the crook of Viktor's neck, his beard tickling the sensitive skin and making Viktor shiver.

Tentatively, Viktor reached up and let his own arms encircle Jayce's neck. They fit together like two cogs designed for one another, every part of Jayce slotting together perfectly against every piece of Viktor.
It's never complete without describing the size difference between them. Viktor massages his scalp and Jayce, heavy with sexual innuendo (it really isn't, he's upset, but let's be honest that it is and will always be innuendo), says 'you are so good at that'. Stunned, and a little emotional, Viktor changes the subject. He asks how Jayce is really doing. Jayce says he's fine, reiterating that his meeting ran late, even when he tried to take it in a coffee shop nearby. Pulling back, Jayce asks if Viktor didn't think he'd really come, and Viktor admits that he did think about it, fearing disappointment. Jayce waves away that fear when he says he's been looking forward to seeing him since last night, and would have been there first thing in the morning if he could. They stand there together all lovey-dovey, Viktor going so far as to massage his cheek with Jayce getting puppy dog-eyes at the action. They tell each other they need to exchange numbers, and then we get a new development: Jayce starts calling Viktor 'V'.
“We really need to exchange numbers, V.”

“Why do you call me that?”

Jayce pulled back just a little, and Viktor could see the pink undertone on the tops of his cheeks clearly. “Do you mind it? I don't really—”

“No, no, it's just—no one's ever used that one.” Viktor reassured.

“Good, that's good. I like that it's just mine.”

It was Viktor's turn to blush. He felt his cheeks heat like someone was setting them on fire from the inside out.
Sky interrupts their 100% homoerotic moment by barging in and asking him if he 'rode him like a fucking tree' while their business is filled with people. Upon seeing these two together, a hand flies to her face because her fujo dreams have come true and she needs to fujo out.
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> Notices they're busy
> Sky loudly asks if Viktor fucked Jayce in a room full of customers
Guess we're sleeping on that, huh?
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Neither if you can climb anything. You've got bum legs.

Right at that moment, Viktor's stomach starts growling, so Jayce asks him which of the many treats he'd like to eat first. Viktor chooses the chocolate croissant and a blueberry muffin, leaving the rest for Lest and Sky. While Jayce goes to do that, Viktor 'smiles wide, borderline maniacal' that he would he something so trivial, yet so nice, for him, proving that Jayce is The One and won't left him high and dry after a few pretty words. After Jayce is done talking to Sky and Lest - spilling the tea, no doubt - he enters Viktor's office. Seeing his discomfort, he tells him he'll order new chairs. The business, which was apparently doing good, now has enough money to afford better chairs, which makes you wonder if they were ever doing good in the first place. Viktor notes that Jayce loves taking care of others, but doesn't want people taking care of him. Viktor relates and this leads to another conversation: the night before.

Jayce, also noting Viktor's tiredness, asks if he slept well the day before. Viktor says no, explaining that he was 'distracted'. Seeing his moment, he leans forward, gives him a devilish smile, and asks, 'By what?' Our pale, moon-face bookstore owner, smoothly replies that that it came from a man who 'took me for the best day of my life and didn't kiss me for it'. Talking in third person, Jayce says, 'what a fucking fool', and then asks why Viktor didn't kiss him and show him he wanted it. Viktor states he isn't comfortable with that question. Jayce course corrects and offers that Viktor thought they were moving too far and didn't want to lose him. Viktor agrees with that sentiment. Then Jayce asks him if he wanted it, and lo and behold, we get our first kissing scene!

Viktor, wishing he bought some chapstick, is kissed by Jayce, and is so taken by the kiss he has to be called back to Earth. Viktor spends that time looking at Jayce's beard, wondering if it'll be rough or ticklish, or if the burn will be good. He wants Jayce to devour him; to make him feel good before he has to leave for his cross-country tour. Jayce is about to kiss him again when Lest interrupts, calling Jayce and Viktor 'lovebirds' before summoning Jayce to check his inventory. He makes a joke that there will be no pasties for her this time, and does a heckin transphobic microaggression by saying that she is 'not a higher power' in response to Viktor saying the universe or some God wants them to get together.

Viktor tries to pull himself together and ask what Jayce brought. Per the book club's suggestion, he brought extra copies to be signed, but had to make sure he was not overstepping with Viktor first (even though it's free shit, and done at everyone's request). Viktor assures him he did not, and then asks if he can sign his own copy. Books are selling fast, and he wants this one to be extra special. What the real problem is is that Jayce is handing copies away for free, threatening his profits. Viktor makes a weak threat about sending a DM to his manager Jayce waves it off, telling him the book is doing better than ever. He then heads out to sign some copies, leaving Viktor alone for a moment.

True to form, he's already dreaming about relationships and kisses without restraint. He compares what Jayce could offer - unconditional love, better sex - to Dmitri's sex-on-command and transactional relationship. With Dmitri, he felt as if he had to earn love and rewards, while with Jayce, love flows naturally. These displays of affection with no ill-intent takes him by the wayside, along with the selflessness and eroticism.

At the table, he admonishes Jayce for moving chairs about - Jayce laughs it off, saying he helps where he can - and begins to go over questions with him. The room begins filling up with regulars - Bertha, the old woman, and Silco and Vander - and it soon balloons from 15 people to over 30. Viktor thanks people for coming, and the questions start flowing.
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> He stole Viktor's breath away as soon as he began
Hope it didn't last 8 minutes.
> It became clear very quickly that Jayce really had put a lot of himself into the book
Well, yeah. He answered that in the previous chapter. It was very clear that the psychological thriller is a self-insert. It's a memoir. Don't know why he didn't pitch it like that.
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> What did you call a person that you barely knew but that seemed as familiar to you as your own shadow
The universe really does want these two together, eh?
> Ever since the evening before, he couldn't stop thinking about the fact that the narrator was evidently based on Jayce
You already had that answered in Chapter 4, let alone the paragraph before. You KNOW it's him.
> He was cocky and confident one second, and floundering and insecure the next
In the business we call this 'borderline personality disorder'.
> Jayce would be right next to him, his warmth seeping inside Viktor's little nest
He's already dreaming about being a tradwife, lmao
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> Because, as you said yourself, you did put a lot into bringing him to life
This is the third time this chapter he has answered that.
> It's just this man droning on and on and on
Jinx is me frfr
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> This book is very much a result of hundreds of therapy sessions and things I unpacked with my own counselors
See? Self-insert. Too manic to pitch it as a memoir. Might get into trouble with a few people.
> He couldn't reach forward and grab his hand if he gets too hard
Very masc, being the emotional support of a grown-ass man.
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> If Jayce didn't like them, if he made fun of them or was uncomfortable with them
Very masc to worry about your friend group being liked by another man. Men will call each other faggots and proceed to have a beer an hour later. I don't think a man in a 'gender diverse' bookstore would be offended at a few white fujos.
> Vander and I were there on our honeymoon
"Hey you know that mountain where you had the most traumatic event of your life? My husband and I fucked there! Makes you feel better, huh?"

Man is this tone deaf.
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> People started sharing that you two were devouring each other
Oh God. They made it to fujo TikTok. No doubt they're getting Ethel Cain edits made of them.
> Was Jayce really okay being linked to him publically?
Who cares?! He's fucking rich! It's more business and exposure for you! Be a man and take the fucking W!
> Mostly gorgeous women that made Viktor look like a sad stick
It's not a good look being envious of normal women while saying you're a 'sad stick' who is also so beautiful as to be a moon-pale beauty. Pick a fucking struggle.
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> Viktor's brain always found ways to make him doubt. It was so exhausting it made him want to weep
Very masc, having a mental breakdown over YOUR feelings when this is an event for someone else. Losers in their own fucking universe.
> Minutes passed as he spiraled and worried
> The spiral magically ends when Jayce winks at him
Maybe a good dicking down will fix those mental issues of his, eh? Give him the confidence the testosterone does not.
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> Now you're Mr. Positive because a pretty boy likes you
This is a grown-ass man we're talking about. A man with a greying beard and a shrinking ball sac.
> How about...Mr. Handsome Writer
'The Handsome Hispanic' has a better ring to it, but since we're in a white bougie area they might find the name too offensive.
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> He wanted to go back in time and slap the version of himself who thought this was a good idea
But then you wouldn't get your willowy, beautiful, stick-thin pale-moon beauty! Everyone has to take the first step - and, well, you'd know a thing or two about breaking that leg, huh?
> Because he had a crippling fear of disappointment
I know what else is crippled HEYO
> Maybe he'd been too involved during the meeting, jumped in far too much
It says a lot when the totally masc trans man has to have an actual man talk for him and over him, because they don't occupy the same space or command the same attention as they do. But hey, fujos love those Tiktoks so, uh, that's a win!
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> With his eyeliner and long lashes and the cute forest green cardigan that swallowed his slight frame
So he looks like a giant green potato who still manages to look like a stick next to other women. The man (?) is 40. You shouldn't be wearing clothes that drown your frame like you are pubescent teenager.
> He released Viktor's hand and turned, crowding him against the brick wall
We finally get our kiss, fam! After all that trauma dumping and yearning, they start tongue-fucking like dogs.
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> Tasted coffee and caramel on his lips
Not bad considering he had those things in the morning. Nobody likes morning coffee breath in the evening.
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> Viktor just blinked, pupils fat and bottomless
> Two dark orbs lined with shimmering amber
You didn't need to write this twice in the same sentence.
> So domestic and cozy. Jayce suddenly yearned for it so much he couldn't respond
Look at that. He's already found his tradwife.
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> Trusting him enough to hold him up
Imagine if his bum leg gave out and he fell with him lmao
> Licked into his mouth over and over
Damn, he really IS like a dog.
> What will you do when I finally get to fuck you? You gonna survive that?
He's gonna become your tradwife and magically ovulate and pop out four kids before he's 50.
> Nudes, definitely
This Grindr hookup is long past its expiration date.
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40-somethings sending nudes is wild. Just imaging this guy jorking it in a hospital bed with the caption: 'They cut off one leg, but my third leg works just fine!"
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> Willowy and beautiful in the pale lighting from the bookstore
> Still compares himself to other women, noting how 'stick-thin' he is
He's so willowy and beautiful, he looks just like like Kelly Osborne on Ozempic.
> Viktor was sure it would not stay that way a lot longer
Sky loudly asked, in a room full of customers, if Viktor had fucked Jayce. He then wonders why TikTok is wild about them when his own employee is stoking public attention he does not want. But that's OK, though - he finds his soul mate and the love of his life, and unlike the evil Dmitri, he's gonna fuck the tradwife into him and it'll be there to stay.
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So. Anyone up for 40-year-olds sending nudes?

MistressofVos, Mexican shotacon and nigger hater, has finished her own omegaverse AU. Similar to celestrialthread, it has your alpha male CEO focusing on the ultra-feminine omega, but in this fic, the alpha male's sexism and predatory behaviour are on full display. MoV is dedicated to representing her culture.

The first instalment can be seen here.

Lines for this fic include:
- Some disliked the useless sterile and small dicks that existed above the cunt, others complained about the breasts that tended to be barely there, and a few more simply loathed the idea of omegas who were as tall as betas and wore androgynous faces.
- That he too, is going feral in instinct and violence? That he wants to jump on his cock as much as he wants to run away?
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> Viktor was going to give his virginity to his boss
> Is risking his visa and entire life for alpha male dick
> His mother is angry that he is betraying her entire bloodline for alpha male dick
> Is only there in the first place because Jayce threatened him and he felt there was no other choice
Fighting the revolution by becoming an Aryan tradwife and popping out bleached babies? That's not something you put on a poster if you're a Leftist, lol
> It's warm, and extremely clean
> Planned it enough to clean
I wonder if his apartment is clean.
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> Gets wooed by flowers, jewelry and lingerie to be a 'good omega bitch' and get the tradwife fucked back into him
> Is worried he'll be replaced for a lustier, bustier model because he's a literal stick figure and no one wants to fuck a skeleton
But I'm to believe this scarecrow is more beautiful than the busty beauties in the lore.
> The sun turned into a man and came down in the shape of Councilor Talis
Redundant.
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> It's different to Viktor's, and the omega had seen pictures of a young Jayce without a brace
You are supposed to pity this disgusting sexist because he has a bum leg. There's about as much love here as in Ciudad Juarez.
> It would label Viktor as a whore were they to be found by anyone else. But they aren't in public
So what is the problem? He will still be labeled as a whore because he sees himself as one, and is being treated as one by the alpha male. There is nothing 'gentle and powerful' about this man because he was a disgusting piece of shit in Chapter 1. We went from 'BREED ME ALPHA, FUCK MY SLUTTY HOLE UWU' to being timid and shy because...? Who the fuck knows.
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> How did you say?
*What did you say.
> Sex and all the similar
*Felt indifferent towards sex and romance
> A rather handsome tall figure of blond hair and blue eyes
Dmitri doesn't have blond hair. He's sketched with darker hair.
> Carried a nice scent that made Viktor think of ice cubes colliding with sea water
...fresh water. He smells like fresh water.
> Enough to giggle silently, enjoying the view and letting himself feel like an omega
See? They're just dumb bimbos who can't participate in society. They're cock drunk and good for having babies. Literal trailer park trash.
> If he were looking for a husband, he would be expected to bleed on their marriage bed
> An older, wiser alpha will not be very expected to marry an omega who had jumped from bed to me
Wow, that sounds awfully ✨conservative.✨Older alpha males want younger vagina owners because they are more fertile and more likely to be virgins, while the younger ones are more progressive and are fine with sex outside of marriage. Are we speaking from the heart, MoV?
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> The theory he has read on omega rights is, more likely, unfitting to the current situation
"Proud feminist until a big fat cock gets whipped out" trope, eh?
> It carries an accent different to Piltovan
AKA he turns Mexican when he wants to talk dirty.
> He needs to furrow his eyebrows and slap the councilor that seems to think of him as his personal whore
Because you are. 'BREED ME ALPHA, FUCK MY OMEGA HOLE' is prime slut material. He's just excited because your hole is undiscovered territory and he's about to hit a gusher.
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> Viktor didn't shave his cunt. There was no reason for it, and he found the process quite uncomfortable
Electric trimmers exist. You don't even have to use a razor.
> Not to mention how his cocklette is barely covered too, probably trapped under the lace
Even when they are situational hermaphrodites, like here, they still do not possess the virile, police baton sizes that alpha males have. Alpha males are allowed to body shame and complain about the micropenises male omegas have, as well as hate androgynous, tall omegas. It seems they like petite, busty babes in true conservative fashion. I really wonder what would happen to people who look like Grace Jones.
> D-don't say such things
You were happily talking about guzzling that dick in Chapter 1. What happened? He's turning into Simple Jack.
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> The alpha's hand leave his waist, going up to cup and squeeze Viktor's tiny tits
> Admiring how his hands fully cover Viktor's chest
> Lacy bra pulled down only enough to expose the omega's handful tits
Three paragraphs, three completely contradictory descriptions of breasts. If you cannot keep your tit size consistent in a smut fic, get out.
> He will get rid of him as magazines say he gets rid of any lover after a few nights
> Is a rich playboy taking advantage of a Eastern European migrant
He legit sounds like Mexican Trump. I am not kidding. He adores skinny Eastern European women (blondes do not apply) who are there on visas; he likes model-style bodies where they are tall and thin; he's rich as fuck and flaunts his wealth while bragging he can do whatever he wants. 'OPEN YOUR PUSSY, YOU FUCKING SAVAGE' is what he'd type on a social media post.
> It's good that Viktor has been on heat blockers so he isn't left behind with a pup
Yeah. Imagine having a baby by Mexican Trump over here.
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> He doesn't know how Jayce knew how to make it
The Internet, stupid Mexican.
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> The more he thinks about it, the angrier he gets about enduring uncomfortable outfits
OK so Jayce IS Mexican Trump. 'You're gonna wear the best outfits, the sexiest outfits, no outfits are sexier than the ones I pick, we're gonna be real sexy here, folks.'

Of course Viktor gets jealous at the token black woman. MoV despises Mel and you can see her seething in her writing. I'm sorry the fictional black woman gets more Mexican ass than you do, Ms. Shotacon slaver.
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> It's cerise red
> The alpha male can't tell apart his colours and hates that it isn't actually red
What, is he a bull? Does he enter ME SMASH ME ALPHA MALE status once he sees it?
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> Slaps him across the face because he was wearing the wrong shade of lipstick and stood up for himself
> Insists he 'didn't meant it' and is overly apologetic
> The omega wants to go home and cry in a corner hoping someone else will save him
Fucking amazing.
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> He is clearly sorry
> Tries to show he's apologetic by buying tons of food that could kill several diabetics
If he had a 'good heart' as Viktor insists he does, he would've never demanded that specific dress code. He was the one who demanded that Viktor wear feminine makeup and clothes when he didn't want to. He's a manipulative, BPD piece of shit. The worst - and best - kind of politician.
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> A disabled sick omega zaunite
Apparently there are no rights for disabled Zaunites or omega to launch complaints against abusive alphas. They just have to stand there and take it because the world was promised to alphas 10000 years ago.
> It shows Jayce has a sort of humanity most Pilties don't
He slapped him because he wore the wrong shade of red lipstick.
> I knew you stressed
...over fucking lipstick?
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> Thinks this man may be different to other Pilties
1. You already wrote that. 2. We know he doesn't have a 'gentle heart' because he wouldn't have slapped him across the face for wearing the wrong shade of lipstick. He would not be dictating what Viktor can and cannot wear. He would not be giving him lingerie as a 'shut up' gift.
> Is he going feral in instinct and violence? That he wants to jump on his cock as much as he wants to run away
The man is a borderline and abusive, but hey, he's got that big alpha cock so you can shove all those red flags under the rub before you get your skull caved in.
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> She might be the oldest omega Viktor has properly met; omegas do not make it far in Zaun
They are usually raped to death or murdered. Poor things.
> He's years away to be considered a spinster
Older alpha males are prized, but omegas are judged for their age and reproductive window. That doesn't sound stereotypically conservative at all. In another life, MoV would be MGTOW.
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> We're but a family of hammers and bolts
I think you have too much nuts and a few screws loose in your family.
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> You can do coin tricks? He basically burrs
Why is he purring when he's meant to be excited? You purr to sound seductive.
> Spoke of his brilliant mind with academy genius alphas who would only not and agree blindly for mere compromise.
So he endures societal sexism but 'deals' with it and abandons his feminist principles when a big cock gets whipped out. That's...very accurate.
> What size are you dearest? I think we share measures...Jayce almost broke my hips
He's just uwu so smol, about to get broken hips from big Hispanic babies.
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> Says that powerful alphas marrying unfitting omegas do not exist and are a silly fantasy
> Imagines himself as a tradwife with a kid on his hip, foregoing medical issues and the fact he got slapped in the face for wearing the wrong lipstick
> His womb aches for alpha male seed
You'd never believe that the most conservative group of people outside of actual conservatives are omegaverse fans.
Here is Chapter 3, the finale. Lines for this chapter include:
- can definitely smell the tiny spurt of slick that just started leaking from his cunt
- He swears his womb tries to make itself smaller, both ashamed of existing and scared of what might happen right now.
- wakes up to shameful biological needs, dreams of a strong alpha of tanned skin and a shaved cunt that leaks slick as if they would die if they didn’t get an alpha’s knot inside.
- worth it if the reward is finally knotting that virgin cunt that drives him crazy.
- You have an adorable dick, and here...Such a tempting pussy as well.

TL;DR An alpha male who legit sounds, talks, and acts like a Mexican Trump gets tamed by pink, virgin snatch and gives vagina owners human rights - after introducing some Ike Turner justice after they wore the wrong lipstick.
After getting slapped in the face for wearing the wrong shade of lipstick and enduring many apologies and 'I'll never do it again' from Mexican Trump, Viktor enjoys winter in the Golden City. Unlike Zaun, where everything is dark and polluted, snow falls pure, fresh and white on the surface. He still works as his secretary, signing documents, and we learn that along with having a red lipstick fetish, he likes signing things in red, too. Viktor makes a note on it being 'blood-tainted', and prefers using black or blue ink (he also makes a note not to say it openly, because Jayce might hit him again). Our alpha is still apologetic after smacking our uwu white omega, and asks to be left alone for the day. He wants the thermostat turned up, too, which means only one thing: his name is Buck, and he's ready to fuck, and he's gonna wave that missile around and do some damage.

It seems the author want to introduce some drama vs open rape by adding a taxation plotline: the Kirammans want to raise taxes on Zaun by over 50%, something Viktor is scandalized by. Meanwhile, Jayce cares more about putting off balls and seeing fellow councilors. Not to worry, he gets a little frisky with Viktor and pulls him into his lap where our wee omega squirts like an excited octopus:
Viktor bites his tongue, knowing that Jayce can definitely smell the tiny spurt of slick that just started leaking from his cunt. Great; just when Viktor is wearing white underwear. There’s a delicate reddish tone on Jayce’s lips due to Viktor’s lipstick, and Viktor’s mind compares it to the remains of cherry lollipops that adorable pups would have on their mouths and yet deny that they ate the candy.
Guess he learned from wearing the cerise red lipstick. Pink is unacceptable and gets you an Ike Turner slap; wearing red gets you NXIVM.

In the next scene, Viktor thinks back on Ximena's prosthetic fingers and how Jayce became a celebrity very young. He was accepted as a protégé by the Kiramman house, with entire stores dedicated to his celebrity status. Viktor thinks back on his photos of when he returned from that perilous mountain climb, all bug-eyed and innocent, a thought that nearly sends Viktor crying (those silly omega hormones). True to form, our educated omega who is all in on the feminism and equal rights promptly thinks about having this misogynist's baby:
(Would a baby with Jayce’s blood have that same adorable pout? Could Viktor carry a healthy, round baby who would grow into a man as tall and broad as Jayce? Would his zaunite heritage surrender to Jayce’s hazel eyes?)
Mmm yes. Tell me more about the purity of your blood and the sacredness of your genes. Why, he's already there cooking and cleaning for Jayce, with a full course breakfast laid out and black coffee (the only black thing he likes). Jayce is surprised that he can do such a timid, obedient omega thing; Viktor replies that he doesn't have assistants, so he has to do it himself. Jayce ends up enjoying the food, saying that if he knew Viktor was such a good cook, he would've added it in his contract so he can bring him food everyday. At his reaction, Viktor thinks it wouldn't be so bad to be 'abandoned' by him, provided he can have a pup. Cooking, cleaning, sucking dick and raising a baby - all things good omegas are known for.

I will have to post part 2 in a moment as it exceeded the character limit.
In the interim, 'Heated Rivalry' fans are having a bit of a civil war. The context for this fight is a user named 'I hate ai fics' who added a bunch of fics to their collection, accusing the authors of using AI. Some of the context clues used for it are just basic writing 'tics' or tools average authors use. Link / Archive
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From the original twitter thread ( L / A ) it looks like the user was banned.

The title for this post was 'Wild'. I'll just let it speak for itself:
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This author is 65 years old. Certified Boomer moment:
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Here is the second part of MoV's work.
They head to the Council chambers and Jayce tells him to wait there as he's being ogled by a bunch of alpha male guards. He thinks that the Councilors are a bunch of Zaunite-hating bigots, and wouldn't you know it, Salo shows up to bother our uwu omega. He starts off with, 'Well, aren't you a pretty thing!' and serenades about how Viktor is getting close to Jayce. There's a brief thought about privilege and how Salo, despite being an omega, can still talk poorly about Enforcers since he's Piltovan, while Viktor cannot as he is Zaunite.

Salo asks what he does when he works with Jayce, and he admits 'not very much'. He just signs papers and brings him coffee; he doesn't actually do any hard work (omegas are silly bimbos and can't be trusted with science). Salo remarks that he hasn't gotten tired of him, a statement Viktor mentally objects to because he 'finds it hard to believe omegas could reject Jayce'. I guess we are moving on from the fact he slapped Viktor - full force, btw - for wearing the wrong lipstick. Salo, by contrast, talks more about himself and how he feels less like an assistant and more like a party planner for Hoskel. The subject he finds most important is - and I shit you not - is how matte lipstick is better than lip gloss. Omegas are just so silly, grrrl!

Then the Council session ends, and MoV wants to show that she really, really hates that black bitch for getting in the way of her yaoi:
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View attachment 8817057
> You will have to forgive me for not wishing to stay to be humiliated
OH NO NOT THE BLACK BITCH HUMILIATING MEXICAN TRUMP. WHATEVER WILL OUR ABUSIVE MISOGYNIST DO?!
> The mere thought of anyone mistreating Jayce makes his insides burn in offense
He slapped you in the fucking face for wearing the wrong lipstick. He forces you to wear clothes you don't want to wear because he gets off to it. Now you mean to tell me that this grown-ass fucking man being humiliated is a bigger crime?
> A small, primitive side of Viktor wants to hiss. He wants to show his fangs, cling to his alpha's neck, spit and claw at whoever dares criticize Jayce
I would happily throw you down a set of stairs and then rip out those teeth with pliers so I can sell them on eBay.
> You seem angry, sir
No shit.
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> Viktor has known him long and deep enough to tell when he's vulnerable
Did you know him well and long enough to know he's a misogynist and that he's been grooming you to be his perfect little tradwife?
> He's everything Viktor isn't, and it's clear what this is meant to be
Oh no, Mexican Trump picked another Slavic model to play with. How dare he pick one that's only a few pounds lighter than our Auschwitz victim!
> She's playing a game of politics and power where Viktor has the same role as a rock inside a shoe
"That fucking nigger is in my yaoi and I am going to show how much I fucking hate her as a Mexican shotacon who wants Grade A MAGAcock."
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> I like wearing skirts
Reminder he's forced to wear them because Jayce didn't like him wearing pants. He wanted his stick figure, 'sexy' secretary sucking his dick.
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Fujos really are losers in their own fantasies. This pathetic creature is already imagining that the Mexican playboy is dragging the new omega - who looks exactly like him - in his lap and is getting sexual pleasure from them.
> I don't know why I even wished to be desired by an alpha that sees omegas like objects
Because your pussy was talking. You're ovulating and you need to breed and you're in heat and you need to get fucked to feel normal, etc etc. Same old, same old.
> He's proving every stereotype right
Yeah, actually. Plenty of women complain about red flag men yet stick with them because they're good at sex. "He choked me and beat me and gave me black eyes, but he knew how to touch my clit and make me orgasm so that's okay."
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> He's acting like a whore, a clingy one at that
> It's hardly his fault
It's just his hormones/pheromones/biology, silly! Omegas like him shouldn't be out in public, but in the home, barefoot and tending to children. That's all they're good for.
> Ate too much ice cream while crying in silence
Very masc.
> Disregarded by modern science
Oh so NOW we're using 'modern science'. How about we start with the fact that women don't become dumb bimbos who are slaves for cock during ovulation? Wait until I go into the science of Mexican rapists and how they're more likely to rape.
> He swears his womb tries to make itself smaller, both ashamed of existing and scared of what might happen
Ladies, are your wombs like the Grinch's heart, shrinking three sizes too small when upset? Does it puff up like popcorn when excited? If not, you might be 'impure' according to this shotacon Mexican who has a fetish for rapist Latinos - a flagship of her culture.
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> Cupping Viktor's small breasts
His breasts are too small to cup. They are mosquito bites, remember?
> How lovely it would be to birth a little pup with those same hazel eyes
Your womb shrinks when afraid, but apparently it gets all tingly and ready for action when a sexist alpha male gives you the goo-goo eyes.
> If anyone were to walk into the room, they would smell Viktor's slick and Jayce's thick pheromones
*Sabaton's "Attack of the Dead Men" starts playing*
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> None of the betas could comfort Viktor in the cruel heat that his cursed biology demanded
Curse you, biology! Evolution made me a Mexican pedophile - wait, what?
> If he were a dog, perhaps his tail would be *wagging
You ARE dogs.
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> He's every bit the handsome prince of last time
Oh I wonder if anything bad is gonna happen here.
> Most alphas usually prefer salt or spice
WHITE PEOPLE DON'T SEASON DEY PUSSY SLICK
> Maybe he does have an omega at home, one close to heat, his basket full of pre-cooked meals
I wonder if DoorDash workers have to be betas, otherwise there'd be so many rapes this place would look like Sudan on a good day.
> Viktor might get fired in days, unmated, unmarried, unloved
You poor Taylor Swift omega, you. Your womb will just keep shrinking in embarrassment.
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> I cannot imagine it
You were slapped in the face for wearing the wrong lipstick.
> The slick and the vulgar need
I'm surprised other people don't smell the slug juice coming out of this creature. We talk about bombing nations to the stone age - why doesn't this one go first?
> It makes Viktor blush even when he had his tits and butt groped hours ago
You have neither. He'd be groping bone.
> You smell like a forge
Does that mean his pussy slick smells like burnt fat on the barbecue?
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> Wakes up to shameful biological needs
> Wants a strong alpha with tanned skin and a shaved cunt because he'll die without that alpha cock
> Immediately dreams that he wants a child with the man who abused him
We really are hitting all those stereotypes.
> He's a scientist first, an alpha second
Nope, he's an alpha first, because I have never seen him do science with Viktor at all. He's literally a fuck toy to him because his 'biology' deems him as lesser.
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> Didn't disapprove of traditional marriages
> Forces his omega assistant to wear skirts and makeup when the omega did not want to
> Does not allow said assistant into his lab or experiments, reducing him to clerical work instead
> Insists he is a male feminist because of this
Logic.
> He was going on forty-five
> Has shot down prior claims of parentage because they didn't present a DNA taste (they didn't look Mexican)
Great. He wants his tradwife AND he's going to have autistic babies out the wazoo. Vaccines don't cause autism, but spoiled sperm does.
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> Uncaring of the alpha that watched him take those adorable five steps, hips swinging with every movement of his body
This is supposed to give the mental image of a curvy woman, when all he's doing is walking with his cane.
> Jayce had been busy trying not to spit into his napkin the bland and raw meat served for dinner
Oh, so he's Liver King on top of being Mexican Trump.
> He was exactly made for Jayce's tastes: a thin, cute omega of adorable curves and a pouty mouth
The curves:
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View attachment 8817220> A mix *of smart words and natural talent
Funny, we never actually SEE this natural talent. All we hear about is how badly he wanted to get fucked and have a baby on top of his 'womb shrinking'. MoV is trying to brute force a relationship that was never there.
> That was not his thing. Soon, attraction and desire became obsession. Obsession became love
So why did he slap him across the face for wearing the wrong shade of lipstick?
View attachment 8817222trad relationship 3.PNG

View attachment 8817297> Acknowledges that Viktor cannot enter clubs, stores or even the academy without alpha permission because of his 'secondary gender'
> Only chooses to do something about it after he gets a whiff and taste of virgin omega pussy
What a proud male feminist.
> Jerking off with Viktor's forgotten underwear that no longer smelled like the omega after all the cum Jayce had poured into it
So it smells like a fish market instead.
> Wood, metal, fire, all of it mixes with Viktor's smell of sweetness, milky and floral
Get it? The alpha male has MANLY scents of wood, fire, and blowing shit up, while the dainty white omega has dainty scents like flowers and milk. I bet his womb is really expanding now.
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> He would fight for his honor and decency
> Betrays his mother and his values by fucking the first alpha who ever showed interest in him (he got turned on after he got slapped after wearing the wrong lipstick)
> Thinks of the brilliant babies he'll have instead and how he'd be a 'wonderful sire' to his pups
We really are ticking off every stereotypical box here. Never thought I'd see eugenics here too, lmao
> If only to try to hide the spurt of slick that comes out of his cunt
They really are slug people.
> How novel-like that he has given his first kiss to the alpha, and that he shall give him his virginity too
How predictable that the male feminist who ordered you to dress a certain way because your 'androgynous' wear offended him and slapped you across the face turns you on with his virility. "Everyone woman is a feminist until she gets good cock" seems to be the motto here.
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> Holding his sensitive breasts and squeezing
> Pinch his petite breasts
He doesn't have breasts. He is flat chested - that's what 'mosquito bites' mean. This dumbass pedophile can't even remember the tit sizes in her own work.
> Has never considered himself an erotic view
Oh I wonder why:
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> An experienced alpha stealing the innocence of a younger omega
Ah, there's the shotacon reference I was looking for.
> Alpha, alpha
Get used to that, because this is the only thing this cum-brained slut (her words, not mine) says. His womb is clearly talking for him and wants a baby.
> Big, thick, and terribly hard
Someone needs to give his tailor a raise for that Scary Movie 3 cock.
> Grabbing his tiny cocklette and playing with it
Eraser to a bowling pin.
> His voice dark jut amused
I think she meant 'and' here.
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> You have an adorable dick
It's barely the size of your pinky finger.
> Chubby, delicious lips
I think you meant 'protuberant pussy lips'.
> Such a tempting pussy as well
> Right now, all Jayce wants to do is finally fuck into that tight cunt
Sounds awfully ⭐HETEROSEXUAL⭐but it's OK when the vagina owner is a stick-thin Slav instead of a black woman. We don't consider fucking sheboons 'straight'.
> Viktor, swollen in pregnancy, naked on Jayce's bed in his manor
He praises his intelligence so much that all he sees his 'love' as is an incubator. No dreams, no careers - just barefoot and pregnant. Omegaverse authors are more conservative than conservatives.
> Ever since Viktor walked into his life, Jayce hasn't looked at balconies and wanted to jump
He decided to slap him across the face for wearing the wrong lipstick, instead. What a male feminist.
> A sticky thread of shiny blood comes with it
> His hymen is now ripped
This Mexican shotacon is obsessed with hymens being torn, even when it shouldn't be bloody at all if his pussy is producing slug slime here.
> Wonders if Viktor will hate him, if he will label this as rape
Oh wow, a Mexican author writes her fellow Mexican man as rapists? Who would have thought?
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I told you: 'ALPHA UWU, ALPHA' is all he says.
> Manhandling him so that the omega is under him
He was already prone on the bed. This isn't necessary.
> Massaging Viktor's half hard cocklette
It's still barely the size of his pinky, compared to that massive alpha male manmeat.
> Thumbs caressing his under eyes with something akin to motherhood
Ah, there's that incest fetish speaking.
> He will die if he doesn't get his cock inside of his cunt right now
Maybe it's better if you do die. Society might get a little freer.
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> Pleasure and pain present in him too
Cliché.
> Pushing firm but delicately to fuck Viktor's pussy. The noise is wet and obscene
"Wet and obscene" is up there with 'his waist was so small his thumbs met in the middle' for sheer repetitiveness.
> Alpha, alpha
Makes me think they're trying out a rescue mission near Iran.
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This alpha male, who slapped his omega across the face for wearing the wrong lipstick and forced him to dress 'more feminine' because he didn't like their gender neutral clothes, now passes legislation to grant more rights to omegas because he was converted by virgin omega pussy. If such a thing were possible, Mexico would not have a femicide crisis, let alone a cartel issue, because pussy would conquer the country and 'tame' evil men.
> I'm the one growing your child in my womb
I am so glad your womb stopped shrinking from embarrassment and did the thing it was born to do. You, too, can convert Ike Turner - Alpha Male edition from slapping bitches for wearing pink lipstick with your virginal pink pussy.

Here is the second chapter to 'you can be my full time, baby'. After discovering all three AFABs are now carrying three sets of sperm producers' spawn, plans are set in motion: building cribs, buying baby clothes, arguing with the court over who the father is, etc. This one is currently listed at 10 chapters. Lines for this chapter include:
- I want you to put another one in me. And then another. I want you to keep me pregnant. Fucked and bred and claimed.
-
“You’re mine,” he growls out. “My sweet baby to fill with cum.”
- You’re such a little slut for my cock
- Gonna come for me, sweetheart? Gonna come for your daddy?
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> Abundance of research into higher risk pregnancies
And none of them seemed to include exposing the fetus to testosterone or the fact the father is well over 50 and will 100% pop out half-Mexican Chris-Chan babies. Freeze your sperm when you're in your prime, lads.
> You may be a father, now. But you'll always be my baby
He fingerfucked him in the back of a truck at 15, btw.
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I remember those adoption papers. He had to lie to the judge about the fact Jayce was bipolar, had multiple suicide attempts, and was not even allowed to own a gun. He had a screaming match with the judge and nearly lost custody of Viktor. As for their marriage, they were supposed to skip to a different state that would accept 'same sex trans marriages' but I guess we forgot about that.
> We're going to have a baby!
And it's coming out 🎉RETARDED!🎉
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> A woman who looks like she's on a mission and her wife
God I hope the IVF baby is the same race as them. Can't be having the M&Ms be the wrong batch.
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> Will bring boyfriends and girlfriends
What about the other genders? That sounds awfully binary of you.
> Slumped in a pile on the floor, unconscious
He faints when he sees the fetus, yet had no issue finger-fucking a 15-year-old. Keep that in mind.
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> What are your thoughts on incest?
What a completely normal thing to think about. But to answer your question: I'd be unsurprised, given that so many Mexican men fondle their own offspring. An incestuous trans baby, though? That's too much for the LGBT.
> Expectant parent
'Father' comes with terms and conditions, apparently.
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> He likes this ultrasound tech
Probably because she tows the line and calls you 'husband' and 'expectant parent'. Every other woman that got in their way got screamed at because they were heckin' transphobes or refused to see a teenager sexy lingerie for a grown-ass man's pleasure.
> What if something happens and it's taken from us?
You should be worried about that old man sperm and that testosterone turning your child into the creatures from 'The Hills Have Eyes'.
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> I might have a heart attack because he's so old
Yeah, that's what happens when you reach 50 with your Hispanic genes. If the cholesterol doesn't get it, diabetes will.
> I did research
Nothing on 'testosterone in utero' or what happens when the man's sperm starts hitting the danger threshold.
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> The heart is beating at a steady rhythm
It doesn't have a brain yet, nor is that a four-chambered heart. If anything, it's going to get fucked up from that testosterone use. This fetus is about to have the form of a body-builder.
> You could be fucking me right now
Get ready for some shitty dirty talk.
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> He still can't quite believe they're here - married, baby on the way, sex still amazing
Neither can Caitlyn, who still feels guilty that she drove a teenager to a bipolar groomer.
> Jayce's cock is nestled right against his cervix, and it feels fucking divine
Ouch.
> I want you to put another one in me. And then another. I want you to keep me pregnant. Fucked and bred and claimed
> Good at dirty talk
Like fuck you are, bitch. What's the point of this character being trans if all they want is to be a dutiful housewife that's pregnant all the time?
> My sweet baby to fill with cum
She's good at sex talk, guys.
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> Gonna come for me, sweetheart? Gonna come for your daddy?
Didn't he say that in Chapter 1? Is he going to say this for every chapter?
> It's so fucking erotic
> Gets his cervix slammed
Yeah, OK.
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> Stills as his cock starts to soften
Not bad for a 50-year-old man. If the plan is to keep pumping this AFAB full of babies, he's going to be wrinkly by the time the first kid reaches pre school. You are going to incubate spoiled, mutated sperm, and pump those fetuses full of testosterone. And guess what? No one is going to stop them, because they might get screamed at for 'ruining their dreams'. Screw that. I'd switch off the incubator in a heartbeat.

It is not often you see fics with the 'greysexual' tag, but this is the first one. For those not in the loop, that is a term associated with the asexual branch, where you get feelings of sexual attraction under very specific circumstances. It is also the first fic where the author admits they are legit afraid of using the word 'vagina', and pretends that it is an asshole, 'just wired differently'. This claim is based on the author's own experiences; she later admits her 'husband' beta read this, so I really have to wonder whether the legitimate penis envy she has here comes from her husband, or if said husband is a fellow Jolly Rancher dick haver like herself.
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> Hard again. Not just hard, he was soaking
He later complains that he does not have a 'cis cock' and how he doesn't have a G-spot in his ass.
> A sex dream, perhaps
> He had a wet dream about Jayce
Thanks, Captain Obvious.
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> Return to his wet cock
You don't have one.
> Bring Jayce to his bedroom and let him fuck him into the mattress
> It wasn't like he was attracted to Jayce in a sexual way
These two sentences are contradictory and the author is too stupid to notice. If you are sexually attracted to someone, that means you have a sex drive. It means you might masturbate to them. You can't say you don't have a sex drive and then dream about a 'cis male' using his penis to piledrive you into the mattress.
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> He was extremely, hopelessly attracted to Jayce
Glad it only took a few sentences to clear that up.
> His cock was throbbing at the attention
> His cock twitched again
> He tugged slightly at the foreskin
He's tugging at the clitoral hood of something he instinctively knows is not comparable to an actual penis. This gives him dysphoria despite the insistence he is actually a man.
> Bringing up some of his slick to use as lube
...that's what it's meant for.
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> Thrusted his cock into his hand, stimulating the sides of it as the head pushed through his fingers
> Wonders what it would feel like in the mouth he is and isn't sexually attracted to
Probably like choking on a Jolly Rancher, albeit the Jolly Rancher would be more fun.
> He wishes it were easier, that in moments like this, he could have a cis penis
Oh? I thought trans dicks were dicks, and that's why you call it a cock? Are you trying to suggest that cis penises are different? That they're bigger, thicker, and a sign of true manhood? Funny, that.
> It's unlikely you're having sex, so that's fine, right?
> He wasn't having sex, so it didn't really matter
...why did you get angry at your doctor for suggesting it, then?
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> Pushing away the rising dysphoric feelings as much as he could
> Feels shame that he has to use his vagina to masturbate, because calling the clit a cock isn't enough
> Thinks his vagina can be another asshole, just 'wired differently'
> Still insists he is a man, but with a vagina
It sounds like you don't even believe the shit you are selling. You wanted a 'cis' penis, as if you instinctively know you don't have one, and now you can't touch your vagina because it gives you dysphoria? You have to pretend that it's another asshole instead? Holy fucking hell, you're a loser.
> The dysphoria crumbled slightly as he began to fuck himself with his fingers
Oh, so he's fine using his second asshole after all.
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> Shame and guilt still pooled under him
For such a 'shameful' person, they sure do love fantasizing about getting bred by huge cocks.
> Eh. Fuck it
Story of my life.
> Something to really shut up the whining of his greedy hole
So, his second asshole - that he refuses to call a vagina - is so hungry for cock that he spends his free time wondering about the penile measurements of an actual man and bought a huge dildo to masturbate with. This is on top of him claiming he does not have sexual attraction and getting angry over the doctor suggesting it. BTW, height is not correlated with penile size. Foot size does not have a correlation either; the strongest indication is 2D:4D ratio. A man's thighs are not an indication of a man's penis size, either.
> Supposedly mimicking a real penis
...yes, that's what dildos are for, they are PHALLIC SHAPED for VAGINAL PLEASURE.
> He had no idea what a real penis felt like
Since this is based on the author's actual experiences, I have to wonder if her husband has a dick or if this is her wish that her husband had a big, honking cock to pound her into the mattress with vs the cold dildo she has to use.
> It felt cold, not like a real penis, he imagined
A man's penis is connected to his body. It has veins promoting blood flow. Why the fuck would a man's dick be cold?
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> His right hand found itself on his cock again
Reminder this individual gets so much dysphoria over not having an actual penis they don't know what an actual penis feels like and thinks their vagina is a second asshole.
> The dildo hitting something deep inside him right before his cervix
That is his cervix you are talking about.
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> Now wet with lube and his fluids
He felt he didn't need the lube, but now he needs it for a phallic object that he wonders is phallic-shaped to begin with.
> Fill me with your cum, Jayce
So much for that greysexuality. You just need some good cock and you're back to factory female settings.
> Gasping as the toy pounded his cervix
1. You'll be gasping alright, but not from pleasure 2. He's not even strong enough to do that, lmao.
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> He assessed how he would ever go about sucking such a large penis if the time ever came
I wonder if these are the author's fantasies, as she later admits that she wants to 'explore' more 'trans masc Viktor' as if there aren't already 4100 fics of other 'my pussy is a second asshole' women already going that.
> Illuminating the moles scattered across his pale skin like a constellation
We know he's white, thanks.

And here is the author's note:
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> Heavily referenced from my own experiences with my body
So, you admitted:
- you don't see your vagina as a vagina, just a second asshole
- You have never touched an actual penis despite desperately wishing you had one
- You want your 'husband' to have a huge cock to pound you into the mattress with
- you want to 'explore' an identity that has already been explored by a bunch of FTMs who secretly want to be tradwives
- You think penises are cold
- You don't know why dildos are phallic shaped
Pure fucking losers. You want to 'explore' an identity that has you being innately jealous and envious of what an actual man has; where you admit that all you want is to get fucked by the very thing you're jealous of? Incredible.

She even wants to post a second chapter to this if the feedback is good. Maybe we'll get an answer as to whether penises are warm then, eh?

That fic that suddenly ended with one chapter has now had multiple chapters added to it. It's the one where 'anal fingering' was a tag yet no such fingering happened. It looks like we'll finally get that chocolate starfish tickled.
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They decide to order food during this torrential downpour, and pay no attention or care to the poor Mexican deliveryman who gives them their food. They devour their birria tacos and green pozole and then set to work cleaning up their dirty-ass apartment. Jayce handles the kitchen while Viktor handles the laundry, and when Jayce gets up, Viktor spies the dark hickies he left on his neck. He feels no guilt over what happened last night; instead, there's a sense of acceptance. Nothing changes between them whatsoever.

When Jayce gets out of the shower, Viktor point out 'you missed a spot' on his neck. When he touches the spot, he gets embarrassed while Viktor feels victorious. They state they will never drink again, while Jayce wonders if the hickies are noticable. Viktor smugly says yes. Later, at 9 pm, Jayce knocks on Viktor's door and asks him if he regrets their makeout session. Viktor says no; he enjoyed it, actually, whereas Jayce thinks it was fun drunk, it might be better sober, but his anxiety holds him back. He doesn't want that. So they begin kissing again, sober this time, and Viktor complains that Jayce is going too slow. The pace, to him, is glacial; he likes things fast and passionate. Jayce suddenly gets more confident and tells Viktor to follow his lead. After they have a few literal tongue ties, Jayce tells him he's 'too worked up' and that 'kissing is meant to be relaxing'.

Viktor has had enough of the soft treatment and demands they do it his way.
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> Their tongues dance
Not this cliche.
> I like this - I like - feeling the power behind your kisses
I like the admission that his trans kisses are weak as fuck.
> They way Jayce just handles him
*The way. Are we getting turned on by that strength difference?
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> I'm making chicken and rice
... at 9 P.M.? That's awfully late to have dinner.
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Growing hard with what? Your t dick isn't even large enough to be seen through your pants. It's not like it can even be considered a proper erection.

Chapter 3 is short, so it'll be fused with this one.
Their makeout sessions become routine, first as practice, then as a stress reliver, especially when Jayce comes home angry because he got a 99 instead of a perfect 100/100 on a test (something that most college students can't even achieve, even the highly intelligent ones). They kiss at home until their lips are bruised; they kiss at the library after Jayce nearly scares the soul out of Viktor with his whack-a-mole appearances. It's spontaneous and fun, a great way to improve their tongue dancing, and soon they aren't kissing because it's fun. They're kissing because of mutual sexual desire, something that is ruining their productivity. It gets to the point where Viktor whacks Jayce with his cane because of his sexy sneak attacks. Jayce, hurt at the proclamation that it's ruining said productivity, offers to stop. Viktor, surprised that a man isn't bullshitting, goes 'you don't mean that' - but that's OK, Jayce uses it as an excuse to get closer! More back-and-forth bickering ensues.
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To no one's surprise, Viktor gets caught - and by a fujoshi self-insert no less.
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> We're best friends
Define 'best friends' here. I doubt you are friends once you start tongue fucking each other.
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> Jayce is not my boyfriend
*JC Denton voice* sure.
> The slick smacks from their vigorous make out session
*lips smack* AYO *smacks* LEMME HOLLA AT YA
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Don't worry, the frat boy action happens in Chapter 4.
Lines for Chapter 4 include:
- "I want to learn how to suck cock. Though, eh—yours will definitely be a challenge
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> Exfoliated to the point of pain
We call that 'rubbed raw'. If you're exfoliating to the point where skin is falling off, congrats, you aren't exfoliating, you're flaying yourself.
> Thinks about picking Viktor up and running home to devour him
> Later admits he has never eaten pussy
Nice.
> I've never had my dick sucked like that before
"She was, like, totally into it, bro. She ate me up and didn't wanna let go."
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> I couldn't get her off me
Viktor later thinks of this exchange, but remembers less about the dick sucking than the 'she' part. Even as a trans man he can't remove himself from the woman's role, lmao
> I wish men and women all had the same parts so you wouldn't have to worry
What you mean is that you wish everyone had a cock, because that's easier and because male is the default sex for these people. He is bisexual and yet has never done down on either sex? Right.
> Mel had confirmed what Jayce had started to suspect, she wasn't like her mother
This does not go well for our pale lip smacker here. True to form, he hates that black bitch and we don't tolerate our white (wo)man getting insulted like that.
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> Hadn't warmed to her
> Thinks she's an evil capitalist who's out for blood
> Hates how Jayce is willing to speak to her and treat her like a person
> Despises how he's ignored by both of them
Jayviks are never escaping the allegations that the main reason they hate Mel is because Jayce chose a black woman over the white man they project themselves onto.
> It's like she was starving for it
Why are you imagining a woman sucking dick? Do you see yourself as a woman, or something?
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> Beauty marks on porcelain skin
There's our beautiful pale, white, moon-skinned swan-neck.
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> You want me to teach you how a person with a penis likes to be touched
FFS, we can't even use the word 'man'. You'll call your genitalia 'male', but a penis attached to an actual man is a 'penis person'. OK.
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> Holy shit, you're fucking huge
Of course! This is the Hispanic Hog we're talking about. Not every fic has the 'Jayce has a large penis' tag, but they pretty much all describe him as hung down to his ankles.
> I have never thought of them like this, but your penis is actually quite beautiful
This implies that he either never saw a penis before. Why? Because he had no idea how men masturbated, and now that he sees the pinnacle of male perfection, suddenly it's 'beautiful'. He got his trans identity online but never watched porn? Press X to Doubt. Every FTM watches porn.
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> Despite being circumcised
Circumcision rates are low among Latinos. That boy would be intact like the Hungry Caterpillar.
> Orgasms with a surprising amount of force, semen reaching all the way up to his muscled chest
Some men can even hit the ceiling. You'd be surprised at the G-force semen has.
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Guys, it's totally best friend bro behaviour to grind against each other's cocks in the kitchen.
> Taken off his binder for the night
Yeesh. I wonder what kind of fungal infection he's hosting there.
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> They're scientists for God's sake
> One of them had no idea what penises looked like
Amazin'.
> I would like to learn how to suck cock
This is a real line.
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> I'm sure mot men don't last very long anyway
The average is 11 minutes.
> They owe it to you to make sure that you're safe and comfortable
You know this has a female bias because gay men would just tell each other to suck dick good. Get ready for this person who has never seen a penis before gargle back 13 inches.
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> Picks him up like a sack of potatoes
He weighs as much as one, so...
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> It is very warm
Yes, because it's attached to his body. It has ligaments and veins running through it. did you think it was going to be as cold as a popsicle?
> He wraps his hand around it - it's impossible to not notice the fact that his fingers don't meet
Either he has uwu tiny hands or the dick really is the size of a soda bottle. When you have to hammer home that trans men are not men, make sure the actual male is packing in penile proportions.
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> That is extremely slippery
Thanks, Captain Obvious, for telling us about the consistency of semen.
> How am I supposed to fit this in my mouth?
Your jaw can identify as an anaconda.
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> Says he wants to learn
> Jokes about how it'll be easier from here on out because no other man will be as big as the Hispanic Hog here
> They both get uncomfortable because we now value monogamy
Someone tell our first time cocksucker here what the average penile size for men is.
> You're telling me you've never tasted yourself?
He's never gone down on another penis or vagina, but he has sucked his own dick. Amazing.
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> He opens wider and wider, but Jayce doesn't stop
> Feels him hit the back of his throat
Every pooner can have the jaw of an anaconda if the man is 6 feet, (over) six inches, and is rich. Some things never change.
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I don't know why he's surprised at that kind of projectile when he saw it spray onto his chest just a few minutes earlier.
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> He is not small by any means
We know - he's the size of a Coke bottle. That's why his jaw hurts.
> Heads into the shower
> Dreams of a dark-haired, muscular, tall Latino
> Imagines being pressed into the mattress as he's forced to take it
Never change. They are always craving hung men; always want to be fucked hard into the mattress, and have the woman fucked back into them have sex that lasts longer than five minutes. As the author says, it will only get raunchier from here on out. Prepare.
Chapter 5 is mostly just dialogue, but here are the lines for this chapter:
- I can't even wrap my fucking hands around it. I'm terrified for my pussy if we ever go that far.
- You're literally living the dream. A behemoth of a man with a big dick, and an even bigger brain.
It's been three weeks since their first-time dick sucking session, and they are busy with their respective lives. They don't see each other during that time span - Viktor is tutoring, Jayce works as a volunteer lifeguard - so when he comes home after taking a hot shower at the gym, he finds Viktor at their apartment, also fresh out of a shower. He takes the moment to kiss him, saying he hates being so busy. Viktor replies that separation might be good for them, but that's also cut off with a kiss. There's a scene where it almost looks like he's going to go to cunny chow town, but Viktor tells him to leave - playfully, of course. They are going to spend that time out with Cait and Vi; as it turns out, they got fake IDs to go bar hopping.

And, wouldn't you know it, the most unoriginal, repeated line to ever be seen in this fandom shows up:
It's not his fault that his hands wrap perfectly around his tiny little waist.
It's not AI, these people LEGIT just copy each other over and over. I repeat: I have seen this line hundreds of times because they are mentally incapable of writing anything different.

The four of them have their alcoholic Long Island iced teas when Viktor leaves to go to the bathroom. He makes sure his hickies aren't visible, and then meets Steb, the human fish man he's been tutoring. Steb is a good student who doesn't really need tutoring, per Viktor's admission. He's actually there to snag a few kisses off Viktor, which he accepts. They are gone long enough for the group to notice that Viktor is missing. True to form, Jayce is none too pleased to see someone else kiss his uwu tiny waist doll. Cait and Vi snicker at his reaction - he's not jealous, he totally isn't - but Viktor notices. He flatly tells him it changes nothing between them and that Seb sucked at kissing, actually. This makes Jayce feel better because he learned how to kiss his uwu smol doll properly vs someone who thinks thrusting his tongue in like a dog makes one a good kisser.

Later, it turns out Steb advances are not welcomed. Rather than handle it like a man, Viktor approaches the way a woman would: talking to a female friend and feeling 'bad' over rejection, vs just telling the man he sucks at tongue-fucking and to stop pursuing him sexually. Sky tells him it's 'just coffee' and to tell him he's dating Jayce. Viktor says he and Jayce are not dating despite their kissing sessions, which causes Sky to fujo out:
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> Is he big
> I can't even wrap my fucking hands around it. I'm terrified for my pussy
Don't worry, he'll take those MS13 inches like a pro. Vaginal dryness from testosterone does not apply here.
> I have never envied someone as much as I do right now
> I would've been begging for him to fuck me into next week if he pulled that thing out
Go on Tindr or OnlyFans and find you a big dicked nigga. If you're into Hispanics, you'll find plenty of those. Have you considered Ecuadorians? Some say they're the biggest LATAM men.
> A behemoth of a man with a big dick
Nothing like hammering home that sexual dimorphism: a giant 'cis' male with the itsy bitsy trans man with a waist so small his fingers can meet in the middle. Pic related:
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When she's done fujoshing out, can this pooner act like a man and simply tell the fish man HE'S NOT INTERESTED IN FUCKING A FISH?!
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If you blacked out the names and simply handed this to random people, they'd think this was a conversation between two women.
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> You inhaled
> I need oxygen
> Not during exams
He should've shot back with: 'I need oxygen like you need that Latino dick, bitch.'
> I will fail you out of principle
This gives you the impetus to misgender him until he screams for a female officer.
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There is more bickering about whether Viktor is buffering or not and how Jayce is such a distraction. Steb picks up that Viktor is hot and bothered and he ends up snapping his pen over it. Steb states that he likes him, and Viktor, in the most feminine way ever goes, 'I DO NOT!!' Steb doesn't buy it; he says he's 'allowed to have a crush' and Viktor tells him it's just a FWB relationship. Instead of acknowledging that it's just, Viktor digs himself a deeper hole. He tells Steb that if he finishes the exam in 20 minutes, he will never need to be tutored again.

Jayce then arrives, and there's more cringeworthy dialogue on how Viktor totally doesn't like him when the sexual tension is through the roof - and in front of a fish man, no less.
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I cannot stand this dialogue. Just hand me the goddamn porn already.
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He binds his breasts and takes testosterone, yet every line of dialogue screams female. How hard is it to acknowledge that it's a FWB, it's no big deal, and you sucked your best friend's dick because you are sexually attracted to them? Fuckin' hell.
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...because it IS one. Once you suck a dick you are more than friends. I have no idea how long this will be but if it's anything like the other installment...it's gonna be long. Oof.

One of the most pathetic things I've ever seen: a fujo gets into an argument with her boyfriend and quoted a line from her MLM smut fic at him. She's a Hansry (Henry and Hans Capon from KCD) shipper.
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This is fanart of her, courtesy of her boyfriend:
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With MTFs, they know it's a fetish and they know you can't do a single thing about it. With FTMs, they want to make it art, and enjoy ruining your hobbies because they are taking sexymen and turning them into pooners, and they also know you can't do a single thing about it.
So the former have a masculine approach, and the latter a feminine one. Thunk-provoking.

Because of Thiletonomics' post I checked out the Zenless fandom and found this, which I find hilarious. It's an explicit fanfiction written as a spiteful rebuttal to the kinds of weird cuck shit we've discussed previously. I'm almost tempted to say the author's heart would be in the right place to an extent, since cuck shit is pathetic, but I think it would be better if he just realized that porn in general was weird and stopped writing it altogether. Especially since underage sex, according to one of the tags, isn't exactly better than cuckshit. Not to mention how extremely autistic writing a fanfiction as a rebuttal is.

Also this somehow has more comments than likes.
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big thanks to all you people for delving deep into the AO3 mines and bringing back gems by the truckload for us to enjoy
top tier content in this thread
:semperfidelis:
 
Also this somehow has more comments than likes.
I'm not investigating, but the usual cause is author replying to comments, who then reply back, repeat.

E.g. a story that twelve people "liked," but those twelve people each left a comment, and then both they and the author are hyper about it and had extended discussions.
 
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