The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch / @TenaciousRanch / Steampunk Penny / Penellope Logue / Phillip Matthew Logue - Don't cry because it ended, laugh because it's still getting worse.

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

Tranch Season 3: IRA Edition, let's go!

UP THE tRAnch!

 

[RollingRock2]

Will Troon Island go to war with Keffals loyalists?
Come out ye hunchback and trans

 

[glad vlad]

Please God, let this happen, this could completely revitalize the franchise and it would be so funny.

Come out ye ranching trans, come out farming like a man
Show your polycule's shitty yarn spun from alpacas
Tell 'em about the elusive Earl and you poor vulnerable girls
From the brown and barren fields of the Traaaaanch

 

[ObeseScreamingBlackMan]

I didn't think anyone could top the degeneracy of Epstein's island, but if anyone can do it, it's troons.

 

[the khat quaffer]

Generally speaking uninhabited islands are uninhabited for a reason

I remember that a map with a lot of islands or water is the hardest in games like SimCity or openTTD

I hope Kev and the tranchers go to the Sentinel Islands.

Description.

I've spent too much time in the Russell Greer thread and read this as "Heart of Greers."

 

[Ghostse]

Generally speaking uninhabited islands are uninhabited for a reason

I remember that a map with a lot of islands or water is the hardest in games like SimCity or openTTD

The thing no one ever thinks about, especially in "green" areas, is water. There is likely no fresh water spring or ground water. You need to either get a water pipe from the mainland, run a desalination plant/still, or just have a big fuck-off water tower you have a yearly or so delivery.
It is Ireland so rainwater and/or fog collection is likely viable but you'd need to colllect, store and treat the water to make it potable.

This is why the real way these islands work is you live there maybe 1-2 months out of the year and first boat with servants to get the place ready has the 2000-gallon water buffalo to fill up the house's tank.

 

[Virtual Boring]

Seeing this thread be active again has triggered war flashbacks of imagining the smell and worrying about the poor alpacas

 

[Temperance]

General roundup. Sorry if any of this was already posted.

The Patreon is down to $442/month. https://graphtreon.com/creator/TheTU


They haven't posted anything new on it since Aug 2025.

The most recent videos I can see are from July. They're boring / not worth archiving: [1] [2]


Nothing really new with the Wiki article. GorillaWarfare is still sweeping it up.

"Why evicted?" Sorry, dude! That's forbidden knowledge according to the Wiki jannies.

---

Random Twitter users reminisce about the Tranch:

Spoiler: More

And on Bluesky:

Spoiler

Norintha = Shit-eater Jen

I genuinely wish we were as dangerous as they thought we were but it feels like every single time we start talking tough shit and filling ranks it either turns into a Black Hammer Party or a Tenacious Unicorn Ranch

I promise guys we’ll rise up as soon as I’ve bought a dozen more action figures. Just keep sending me money. I promise.

The only person who’s ever managed to get a substantial number of us to show any teeth whatsoever is Eliezer fucking Yudkowsky and that was as regrettable as it sounds

(That last bit is referencing the "Rationalist" troon cult of Zizians.)

---

Some sparse updates from the reddit account of Fedposter J.

Spoiler: More

He's interested in "isekai fiction with lesbian protagonists".

Living in or around Northglenn, Colorado. https://imgur.com/a/p7yLGbO

Still an anarchist and a believer in the imminent "Collapse".

IQ tests are heckin' eugenicistic!

When I last checked on him like a year ago, he said he was almost done with his studies to become a nurse. Sounds like he's still working for Fedex though.

Still wants to form an armed community of "queers" to resist state violence/cleansing.

"If we don't take power back from the elite Epstein class we will likely go extinct."

Luddite and "Degrowther"

Alynna the Fairy Fox is becoming a Vtuber. And he's as crazy as ever...


The Tranchers are officially two degrees of separation from Chris Chan - via Ash Coyote (the Furry Documentarian). Ash Coyote was apparently in some drama last year, but I don't really feel like looking into it, tbh.

Chris follows AshCoyote, who recently got intense backlash for making an ABDL fetish video.
It's weird that furries say that it's not sexual nor weird, but they are into stuff like this, openly.
AshCoyote has also recently made a video about the Bad Dragon vs Sin & Saints legal drama, which Chris has liked a tweet about on Bluesky...both of these are dragon dildo companies.

Nothing new I can find on Penny. However, I did notice that he deleted (or privated) his Google reviews since the last time I posted about them. So he's almost certainly still checking in on this thread occasionally.
Current vs Old Profile:

---

Finally, I want to post a reminder that journoscum Robert Evans published a four-part series glorifying the Tranch... just a few months before their dramatic collapse. Even his own (far-left) audience were unhappy with him about this shoddy journalism, and so he promised to do a follow-up piece on the Tranch's downfall. That was three years ago now, and he still hasn't done it.

 

[Kuritan Deplorable]

The thing no one ever thinks about, especially in "green" areas, is water. There is likely no fresh water spring or ground water. You need to either get a water pipe from the mainland, run a desalination plant/still, or just have a big fuck-off water tower you have a yearly or so delivery.
It is Ireland so rainwater and/or fog collection is likely viable but you'd need to colllect, store and treat the water to make it potable.

This is why the real way these islands work is you live there maybe 1-2 months out of the year and first boat with servants to get the place ready has the 2000-gallon water buffalo to fill up the house's tank.

This raises a question actually, what accomodations are already on the island, if any, and what would they need to do to build on it. I can only imagine the zoning and restrictions nightmare to any kind of expansions on an island that a commune could afford to lease.

 

[the khat quaffer]

I was confused by Miss Loogie's hand tattoo, it looked like Abraham Lincoln in profile. And I thought, "what the fuck sir...why even...why w-...whatever."

Your nails look fabulous, darling. You look good enough to model Pizza Hut's new menu items.

 

[Zippolite]

📚 Megathread Post in thread 'Tranny Sideshows on Social Media'

Mar 16, 2026

Is probably just some tranny bullshit but this bluesky using troon claims to be poised to take ownership of an entire Irish island to use as some sort of tranny commune.

Hope he goes through with it could be funny.




https://bsky.app/profile/sheg7.bsky.social/post/3mh4znvygxk2t

• diroama

Reactions: x 16 x 10 x 4 x 1 x 1 x 1 x 6 x 6

I was imagining them ending up on some 80s sinkhole estate in Ireland in kev's thread but this is even better.

Please please let this happen. I love everything about it. Kev wondering why overwatch won't connect to server on a fucking windblown uninhabited island. Penny stuck under the heel of some other troon cult leader. The missed opportunities for medical research into olde timey conditions like ricketts and scurvy because there's no doctors there to research it. Trying to trade poorly grown potatoes for estrogen because even if they somehow get on Irish public healthcare it really doesn't cover boat delivery to random islands. It's not even like they can ship raws from china and homebrew because even if uninhabited rocks off the coast of Ireland HAD a postal service they'd still give themselves sepsis based on the hygiene in the tranch.

I love how they have this idea that the British colonised Ireland and then most of the world. And then to escape the potato famine the Irish fled to the four winds. But they all just missed this little island eden a few miles out. After La Zorra and the Tranch the faithful Kiwis have been granted a vision of a third tranple and it is beyond our wildest dreams

Ok if we take the troon as truthful about an "island off the coast of Galway" there's two options. The more likely one is mutton island which is basically rocky tidal island with a small lake in the middle, with a road to connect them. But I don't see how they'd lease an island with a lighthouse which must be under some form of government control. Also it's tiny but does have road access to Galway. The other one is hare island, it won't show up on a Google search, but go on map view and look for mutton island Galway. Then track right for hare island. It's got no roads and no constructed dock that I can see, that's even more hilarious.

It's most likely mutton island but literally it's less an island and more a rocky sandbank with a lighthouse and a fucking SEWAGE WORKS on it and one circular road, less than two miles in diameter. I will donate to the gofundme for relocation with a smile on my face

 

[Ghostse]

This raises a question actually, what accomodations are already on the island, if any, and what would they need to do to build on it. I can only imagine the zoning and restrictions nightmare to any kind of expansions on an island that a commune could afford to lease.

If they said off Galway, and provided that's accurate and not where a place is listed as "outside New York" but is in the suburbs of Philadelphia, it'd be upper-south Ireland in one of the "cut outs". So facing the Atlantic but well down one the protected bays.

Now, I know you should be ready to laugh remembering how well prepared the Tranch was, but with proper prep and planning you would be able to last the winter in "temporary" structures; a proper winterized/artic tent built to be above the damp ground would do it. Another option would be just using RVs/Camp Trailers ("Caravans" to the brit-o-sphere) with some windbreaks and improved insultation.
We might even get our chance for the revival of the dream of the Troon Holocaust Cargo Container death chamber.

I had been thinking about things like the Faroe islands and was going to delight at the idea of the troons not just being able to go get tendies and bachelor chow from costco, but if I'm reading that map correctly they would be a boat trip away from galway, so that is viable.

The other thing to consider is that the islands would be very poor for even a backyard garden.
If I'm thinking of the right islands, how they were used traditionally was sheep grazing. You put your flock on the island for a couple months, then put them on a boat and sail to the next with no need to worry about large predators.
But this means that the Gaelic Tranch would never be even remotely self-sustaining. Troonstein Island would be a 100% cash suck, its only value a "safe haven" for trannies away from a cruel, hateful world where trannies are so hated and oppressed every year I have to sit through 15 minutes of videos about specifically catering to the fee-fees of mentally ill men in dresses and that telling them they are men and need to see mental help, not validation and surgery, is a heckin' hate crime.

And on Bluesky:

Its Alpacaschwitz you mongs. SAY THE NAME.

 

[Näkki]

Yes, let them go to fucking Connemara. That would be sooo funny.


I volunteer as a tribute for a roadtrip for documentation. I haven't been in ages.

Do I get to bring the KF drone? Where do I send the application?

 

[FinnSven]

As fun as all this could be, I doubt it will happen.

The only one capable of organizing an orgy in a brothel is Penny and once he is faced with the logistics and massive amount of work involved of not just moving himself to Eire, but the exponential hassle of moving two “wives”, one of whom is Kevin, across an ocean to a windswept soggy island, then he will abandon the project.

I do hope it will, but it looks like it will wind up being a nothing burger.

 

[kazuhiro]

Yeah, the idea of this "She Guevara" guy (who seems to be a Brit) actually starting a commune on an Irish island and inviting Phil, the mastermind of the disaster that was the Tenacious Unicorn Ranch, along with Kevin and Michael, his two useless appendages, to be a part of it is disappointingly unlikely. We're not going to get Alpacaschwitz II: This Time It's Sheep. We can still dream for a bit though.

Kevin had another couple of posts about the potential move.

 

[Click reply to view]

a lighthouse

Yer fond of me Unicron, aint' ye? I seen it - yer fond of me Unicron! Say it! Say it. Say it!

 

[glad vlad]

Do we think that Phil is imagining that he can claim citizenship by descent? Doesn't Ireland have right of return for people in the diaspora whose parents or grandparents were born in Ireland? What is known about the ancestry of these people?

I'm very curious about what kind of situation would lead the polycule to be able to emigrate to Ireland. Even if one of the trio has potential citizenship by descent, does Ireland recognize polycules as family units?

 

[The Real Slim Shady]

what's caused his irishboo phase? The only ancestry I've ever heard him mention is some variety of middle eastern

he has zero connection to Ireland, is he just doing an ADF and supporting sinn fein to be edgy (because they're IRA associated?)

I doubt that Kevin is close to Irish enough to get a citizenship, however he was larping Irish in 2022. And the rest of the pack would probably get rejected because they have nothing in common with Ireland either, are unemployed and mentally ill

 

[Ghostse]

Do we think that Phil is imagining that he can claim citizenship by descent? Doesn't Ireland have right of return for people in the diaspora whose parents or grandparents were born in Ireland? What is known about the ancestry of these people?

I'm very curious about what kind of situation would lead the polycule to be able to emigrate to Ireland. Even if one of the trio has potential citizenship by descent, does Ireland recognize polycules as family units?

Ireland has some disapora options, I never really looked into it. I do know that coming from a western country is doing it on easy mode. The only issue would be Phil has no skills and no assets; Ireland isn't going to allow a white welfare case into the country.

For the other gaggle of troons, my assumption would be some or all of the following:
-Marriage, possibly chain marriage
-Just having his troonhorde come in on tourist visas and never leave; if they are staying on the Island of Dr. Trooneau there wouldn't be any reason for them to interact with the locals.
-Claim asylum due to Orange Man's troon genocide
-Show up and just hope for the best w/r/t to Gaelic ICE

 

[kazuhiro]

Do we think that Phil is imagining that he can claim citizenship by descent? Doesn't Ireland have right of return for people in the diaspora whose parents or grandparents were born in Ireland? What is known about the ancestry of these people?

I'm very curious about what kind of situation would lead the polycule to be able to emigrate to Ireland. Even if one of the trio has potential citizenship by descent, does Ireland recognize polycules as family units?

I think Phil might meet the criteria to get Irish citizenship. @AssignedEva had some good posts about their possibilities in the Kevin thread. November 2024.

Penny actually could get Irish citizenship if he's able to get his Irish grandparent's original birth certificate and get himself on the Foreign Births Register (assuming that grandparent was born on the island of Ireland).

To get Kevin into Ireland he'd either have to go live in Ireland first for a while and invite Kevin to come over at a later date (leading Kevin alone, unable to support himself) and/or otherwise provide proof of financial means to support themselves without being a burden on the state (which they don't have).

June 2025.

Kevin has talked about the polycule wanting to move to Ireland a couple of times. One of Phil's grandparents was apparently born there, so Phil could get citizenship (AFAIK), and maybe bring a spouse. Phil is pretty into the IRA and the armed struggle too (as well as Irish whiskey). There are a few posts about it after the election results here.

Penny can become an Irish citizen if his grandparent was born on the island of Ireland, but he'd likely need to order copies of that grandparent's birth certificate, marriage certificate and death certificate. Given he never got around to getting a passport (and now is paranoid he'll be put on some sort of list for ordering one), I doubt Penny would be able to manage the intricacies of ordering a birth certificate from a foreign country in a different timezone.

He'd be able to bring a spouse over if they were legally married and he had substantial proof of a length relationship, but unsurprisingly the Irish state does not recognise transbian polycules. So he'd either have to release Jen into the sewers or give Kevin the old "I can see the rabbits alpaca, George" treatment. But that would still require Penny to have an income of at least €40,000 for 3+ years (in Ireland!) and for the spouse to demonstrate they wouldn't become an undue burden on the state. Which neither Kevin nor Jen could.

In other words, Penny could get out of dodge (although he'd then struggle to deal with the cost of living in Ireland) but Kevin is never going to live anywhere but the US of A.

They could also try claiming asylum, like this lovely couple.