- Joined
- Dec 28, 2014
The only "viral" thing about this bullshit "recipe" is if you make it you will die of a virus.
💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental
- Thread starter Gentlebastard
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🏰 The Fediverse is up. If you know, you know.
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- Joined
- May 27, 2019
Be careful not to promise your love, heart, and devotion. The offending party might consider it a pre-nup in the events never to come.
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2013
it's funny that fat mush-brain thinks anyone would go to him for advice
- Joined
- Nov 10, 2022
Just imagine the Donald Duck tantrum he'd throw upon being asked why anyone would seek the advice of someone who, in addition to refusing advice from anyone else, hasn't demonstrated improvement in any area he has published to his Utoobs channels over the course of eighteen years - That the inferiority of (and absence of merit in) his videos speaks for itself.
Oh, the lies, excuses, and blame that would spew out of his misshapen head like a fire hose in response to anyone daring to ask the naked emperor why a known, deficient invalid such as himself shows such a need to presume to be an authority on any matter unrelated to refusing to acknowledge the endless string of obvious failures he insists on showing off because he's too lazy and divorced from intellectual accountability to make a second attempt applying information learned from the first - A living example of what not to do; to be observed, mocked, and avoided while everyone else waits for his prolonged state of inferiority to, at long last, gracelessly expire engulfed in all that hubris he sacrificed everything for, but can't take with him.
Oh, the lies, excuses, and blame that would spew out of his misshapen head like a fire hose in response to anyone daring to ask the naked emperor why a known, deficient invalid such as himself shows such a need to presume to be an authority on any matter unrelated to refusing to acknowledge the endless string of obvious failures he insists on showing off because he's too lazy and divorced from intellectual accountability to make a second attempt applying information learned from the first - A living example of what not to do; to be observed, mocked, and avoided while everyone else waits for his prolonged state of inferiority to, at long last, gracelessly expire engulfed in all that hubris he sacrificed everything for, but can't take with him.
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- Joined
- Dec 28, 2014
MOOOOORNING MOMENT look at how he gargles dicks. He can't even talk. He gurgles and gargles, like he's dying at the very moment he's talking. Listen to how this gurgling faggot "talks." He "talks" like he's dying. Just the sound of his gurgling sounds like death.
- Joined
- Dec 19, 2021
In addition, why would anyone ask for the advice of someone that has so obviously refused to listen to any of the guidance or directives that doctors have given him over the years. He's suffered from multiple strokes and every time it's not his fault, it was the caffeine, the water, the broccoli. It's always some reason other than that he has spent almost his entire adult life gorging himself. Much like every idiotic fad diet and MLM he's attempted. "Leaning keto", Profile by Sanford, carnivore, he doesn't even attempt to actually follow any of the steps laid out in any of them, and then when asked about it he just snaps "google it" like a 2 year old. So again, unless you are asking him for advice on speed-running a stroke, why would anyone come to him about anything?
- Joined
- Sep 29, 2022
Just what is he trying to prove with these things?
Fatty gets very little engagement on these posts and it's not like he's saying things that are important or interesting for that matter.
Honestly he seems to think that people actually want to hear from him.
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- Feb 3, 2021
- Joined
- Oct 16, 2023
just one look at him you know there's nothing going on upstairs and nothing he says has any substance whatsoever
- Joined
- Jan 29, 2025
I suspect it's a combination of investment fallacy; self-deception; and pure, uncut, 100% Colombian stoopid.
- Investment Fallacy: Jack is the first to tell you he's been doing this for 20 years. He can't stop now; it's all he knows.
- Self-Deception: He's trapped in a vicious cycle. First he uploads a video to soothe his ego and tell himself he's important. Then the video is beset with trolls who call him a mean, abusive, dying, soulless, unloved, obese hacktard. This hurts him. So he uploads a video to soothe his ego and tell himself he's important.
- Stupidity: He confused lime the fruit with lime the chemical. He had to remove a video in which he showed people how to contract botulism. He thinks the government killed Princess Diana, Paul Walker and basically every famous person you've ever heard of.
He thought JFK was a Republican and Nixon was a Democrat. He encouraged his dog to eat walnuts. He thinks he doesn't need to think critically about his strokes because he is not a doctor. "Gangs" are the reason he never taught his son how to ride a bike.
Dog penises scare him. He's Italian and hates pasta. His brother confessed three times in one sitting that he thought about killing himself and Jack missed it all three times. His long-lost sister hung out with him for an hour and it sent her back into hiding.
There are mentally ill children who are more reasonable. That's why Jack uploads.
- Joined
- May 27, 2019
0:17 "basically this is titled...just think"
[buffering]...
what the fuck jack... your eyes are so glossy. you look hungover.
what's that scar on your left temple? Did I miss some Jack lore? Seriously what's up with that? Did Hammy decided she had enough of your shit?
tl;dw: "duuurrr... can people like...think better?"
I've left skid marks in the toilet that were more thought-provoking than this wet shart of a video.
saralovesjuicyfruit
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jan 8, 2019
He really is sounding consistently much worse the last week or so
I saw this, didn't remember seeing this before... unfortunately lolcowgo is no longer up but a search of the thread has people discussing this and some of his excuses. But gangs? Did he hear "biker gangs" and think bicycle? There's no gang issue involving bikes other than the Little Rascals maybe, and I guess getting a bike stolen. But they lived in southern California, the only thing that would make sense is safety from retarded drivers I guess but that's still not a real reason to never teach a kid how to ride a fucking bike as there's plenty of safe places to do so.
So he posted this video just to bitch about the mcdonalds burger price again. Also bitching about when places do limited time items because he can't get the gud meat anymore if he likes something. It's amazing how he thinks people watch this shit other than to laugh at it.
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- Dec 28, 2014
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2022
It is probably more than that. He needs to keep going because if he stops, he will end up dying. It's like an old person keeping a minimum wage job doing something they like. It keeps them going. Eventually his body will shut down though because of all the slop he shovels into it.
Of course, I could be completely wrong too.
- Joined
- May 26, 2013
I don't think it's quite that simple OR that noble. You see flinty old guys still mowing the lawn or old ladies volunteering at libraries for precisely this reason and bless 'em, but Jack has never wanted to actually work or do anything that in his terminally adolescent mind isn't "fun." Jack makes videos for the sole reason that A, it's an excuse to stuff his mouth with garbage, and B, it's an excuse to write all that trash food off on their taxes, and you know Shur-Fine Valu Accounting Kollege Tammy takes FULL advantage of that. To a lesser extent, it feeds Jack's ego to put himself up on screen, but I think as he ages and his health degrades he cares less and less about being the Mickey Rooney of Cooking YouTube or the Wise Content/Political/Tech Sage and more keeps on doing it just to keep the channels he cares about active and the meager checks sliding in, otherwise Tammy would bitch at him even more than she does now off-camera.
- Joined
- Sep 3, 2014
Fud news, only gives a shit about fast food slop that he has apps for and regularly checks for deals. Still baby tantrums over it being overpriced shit like it's been for years, expecting the feckless idiots still in charge to realize they are committing financial suicide.
Yeah that's on point.
A person with an IQ above maybe 95 would just cook a damn burger since they take like ten minutes max if you go bougie and toast the buns with butter and add extra accoutrements. Or if they're lazy pick a new place to pig out at that's a better deal. Or just suck it up and eat the cost if they are that autistic about McDickholes.
Not Jack.
- Joined
- Sep 29, 2022
That's actually part of the problem.
Fast food had two things going for it when it started. It was fast and it was cheap. It's no longer those things. You head into McDonald's today and not only does it take time but it's bloody expensive for what you're actually getting. Fast food hasn't been a value for a long time now. And the only times you should visit them is when you're on the road, there's no other choice and you need something reasonably quickly.
But Fatty is addicted to food and eating until his stomach hurts. In the end it's the the only happiness he knows.