Grace Lavery / Joseph Lavery & Daniel M. Lavery / Mallory Ortberg - "Straight with extra steps" couple trooning out to avoid "dwindling into mere heterosexuality"

  • Want to keep track of this thread?
    Accounts can bookmark posts, watch threads for updates, and jump back to where you stopped reading.
    Create account
MirnaMinkoff said:
Mallory’s dirty little yaoi bean flicking sessions are probably what made her believe she was totally a man.
Click to expand...
Didn't Mal decide to transition just to do it? I don't recall reading any heavy heartfelt epiphanies about her ackshully having a masculine gender identity since childhood, or anything like that, on here. I was always under the impression that she simply did it for a lark. Because she could and Why not? And to please and keep up with Sideshow, of course. (And her closely guarded NLOG vanity.)

Granted, I never read Something That May Shock and Discredit You. (Brrr.) What did she say about her transition in there? Anyone know or read it?
 
I mean, you just have to look at practically any popular fandom fanfic category on Archiveofourown to see a LOT of the time m/m ships are the fave, and are I'm pretty sure 100% written by women for women. Thank ye the old gods and the new if you've never encountered "Wincest".

Since they mostly write m/m like a straight relationship, at least a very stereotypical one, or with a 'dom and sub', as long as at least one dude is pretteh, they're there for it. So my guess is with Asian Kdrama whatever they get double+ the pretty and can mix match more the pairings and dom/subs (whereas tend to stick to stereotypes when it's white m/m with one looking more "alpha" than the other. No shade but you don't really get "alpha" looks in Kdrama (idk as far as I can see, I don't watch it)

It's no hard and fast rules but that's basically how I've seen it.
 
I never got the impression that Toast-era Mal was particularly fag-haggy, and she certainly wasn't a weeb, so what weird fantasy of gay men is she trying to achieve?

Her troon "wife" has a girlfriend, a second relationship, a full blown baby mama, while masculine manly Mal is just out for "sex with men." Not a boyfriend, not even a boytoy or a sidepiece. Just an act, "sex with men." Points for faking one obvious aspect of the gay male mindset semi-accurately, but it's a piece most pooners only pretend at while girlishly whining about why they never get called again afterwards. Does she currently have other pooner friends that she's trying to impress by being a real-live bathhouse slut?

Der weiße Teufel said:
But apart from that, as you say, writing homoerotic fanfiction (called "slash") is also as old as dirt and nobody pooned out over it until recently.
Click to expand...
The earliest example of the slash-to-pooner pipeline is probably Poppy Z. Brite, who was lucky enough to write a homoerotic vampire novel while being from New Orleans in 1992 in the immediate wake of Anne Rice, spent years claiming to be male-in-the-soul, and has been on hormones etc since 2010. While that was decades before the current wave of pooners, Brite was quite online by '90s standards and connected fairly early with mostly-HSTS trannies. I would love to find an even earlier example, but the pre-internet norm of "going stealth" with trans shit and pseudonyms for fandom shit makes thst unlikely.

I was never a dedicated Toast reader, but it was unavoidable for a few years if you were following certain book and publishing scenes. (Which can be great to lurk if you enjoy drama too petty even for KiwiFarms.) I never got a notable hint of Mal being into slash nor any gossip about her having a not-so-secret AO3 handle of any flavor. Mal's arc would be less unnerving if it was as simple as "bookish nerd girl both fascinated and appalled by emotionally charged social interaction falls down the slash/MM rabbit hole, poons out" but I think it was a lot more about wanting to impress whoever she picked up that "mere heterosexuality" line of thought from.
 
Last edited:
I think her bringing up the "pillow princess" thing is a clue. Mal is passive above all and purposefully distances herself from decisions. Decisions happen to her (look how much she talked about just wandering around a bath house waiting for someone to talk to her - she did not want this to actually happen, just to imagine it happening). Her transition journey began with an intrusive thought with seemingly no warning. She just wants to be carried along by something, and since she felt like she wasn't supposed to be carreid along by a Big Strong Man, lest she be "merely heterosexual," all her life has been trying to queer that scenario. It will keep manifesting in more bizarre ways, but it's always going to look like her just standing there haplessly while someone takes charge. That's the only reason she relates to fujoshis, like, she gets the impulse even if it hasn't possessed her soul yet.
 
catsandsoup said:
A slasher turned pooner predating Poppy Z Brite is Roz Kaveney, one of Neil Gaiman's clique.
Click to expand...
Isn’t Roz a man though? Thus not a pooner. There are quite a few of the old school sci-fi/fantasy male nerds who trooned out like “Jennifer Diane” Reitz.

Lou Sullivan might fit the criteria but I don’t know if she had any fandom involvement. If she did it would’ve been back in the pre-Internet zine/con days of Kirk/Spock (the OG m/m pairing which originated the term “slash”.) Lou was born in 1951 so she would’ve been a teen when the original Star Trek was airing and she wrote about her pooner awakening around that same age.
 
Genuinely hate how much of the female population never grew out of the equivalent of making your Barbie dolls smash their smooth pelvises against one another.

It has been a lifelong shitty thing to tell people you're a fan of e.g. Star Trek and have them assume that because you're a female fan, you want to mash your action figures together.

I liked the interesting spaceships and the complex, hypercompetent characters trying to balance military, civilian, and personal interests in a messy universe where clear answers are rare and there are many different ways to be a good or bad person. But as time went on, if I met another female Star Trek "fan," they were more and more likely to be "AO3" Star Trek fans more than actual science fiction nerds. Now the newest series has been fully co-opted by exactly that kind of woman who skinwalks as a fan but actually is sexualizing everything.

It's shocking how many of the fanfic superfans I've known have pooned out. It seems like the conduit equivalent of heavy porn use for men, which isn't surprising. Erotic target location errors abound when you're exposing your chimpanzee brain to endless hyperstimulation of types we were not evolved to fully separate from reality.
 
OttoWest said:
Isn’t Roz a man though? Thus not a pooner. There are quite a few of the old school sci-fi/fantasy male nerds who trooned out like “Jennifer Diane” Reitz.

Lou Sullivan might fit the criteria but I don’t know if she had any fandom involvement. If she did it would’ve been back in the pre-Internet zine/con days of Kirk/Spock (the OG m/m pairing which originated the term “slash”.) Lou was born in 1951 so she would’ve been a teen when the original Star Trek was airing and she wrote about her pooner awakening around that same age.
Click to expand...
Yes! Christ, I must have had fat fingers, that Wiki photo wouldn't fool a blind man.
 
Diana Moon Glampers said:
Genuinely hate how much of the female population never grew out of the equivalent of making your Barbie dolls smash their smooth pelvises against one another.
Click to expand...
I reckon a non-insignificant factor in how much smush-sex barbies had, was the fact that they couldn't stand up on their own two (tmutant long legged, tiny) feet.

It really effected the type of play you would usually do with dolls. Having to jab them about and have them constantly in hand.
Which also led to having little else to do but strip them and make them bone.
 
Was I the only one who’s Barbies got knocked up by brief visits by Ken/GIJoe and then we just played house with other Barbie’s and plastic babies/kid dolls? The smush sex was just putting Ken on top and making kiss noises for five seconds, never very spicy from my hazy memory. We’d even stuff tissues up Barbie’s dress for a few minutes to show she was pregnant.

Ken was always had to go off on some adventure which usually resulted in his death. We like the dramatic death notifications. (This was probably due to too much exposure to mom’s daytime soaps)

My one friend let GI Joes or Ken stick around to have dramatic fights, which we found exciting. Looking back it’s probably because her parents were drunks that fought a lot. Her Barbie play was way spicer than the rest of us.
 
MirnaMinkoff said:
Was I the only one who’s Barbies got knocked up by brief visits by Ken/GIJoe and then we just played house with other Barbie’s and plastic babies/kid dolls? The smush sex was just putting Ken on top and making kiss noises for five seconds, never very spicy from my hazy memory. We’d even stuff tissues up Barbie’s dress for a few minutes to show she was pregnant.

Ken was always had to go off on some adventure which usually resulted in his death. We like the dramatic death notifications. (This was probably due to too much exposure to mom’s daytime soaps)

My one friend let GI Joes or Ken stick around to have dramatic fights, which we found exciting. Looking back it’s probably because her parents were drunks that fought a lot. Her Barbie play was way spicer than the rest of us.
Click to expand...

Never had Barbies! My mother disapproved of them. I had dolls shaped like little girls rather than mid-century screen sirens.
 
Never stops amusing me just how different sexual awareness can be between the sexes.
For 13+ years girls were nothing but figures of fun until one day i walked past little Suzie from the playground and realized she was the most beautiful creature in the world and that i was completely helpless in front of her. Sexuality did not exist for me before that day.

Fledgling sigma chad that i was, I immediately bolted and refused to speak to her again.
 
Last edited:
MirnaMinkoff said:
Was I the only one who’s Barbies got knocked up by brief visits by Ken/GIJoe and then we just played house with other Barbie’s and plastic babies/kid dolls? The smush sex was just putting Ken on top and making kiss noises for five seconds, never very spicy from my hazy memory. We’d even stuff tissues up Barbie’s dress for a few minutes to show she was pregnant.

Ken was always had to go off on some adventure which usually resulted in his death. We like the dramatic death notifications. (This was probably due to too much exposure to mom’s daytime soaps)

My one friend let GI Joes or Ken stick around to have dramatic fights, which we found exciting. Looking back it’s probably because her parents were drunks that fought a lot. Her Barbie play was way spicer than the rest of us.
Click to expand...
My Barbie was an unwed mother (not a "single mother", kek, but definitely an unwed mother) named Mary with an orange haired troll for a son (named Jeff) who played guitar in a rock and roll band. Our GI Joe doll (I can't recall what we called him) was a single Dad with a daughter named Janice who was a small "Little Kiddles" doll. Janice was in Jeff's band. GI Joe and Mary screwed occassionally (and very briefly too) but we were more about the rock band thing. The friend I played Barbie with had all significantly older siblings who played Beatles and Jefferson Airplane records night and day. Mary's name came from Let It Be. Janice was named after Janice Joplin.
 
Dont let anyone put you down girl. That's a beautiful sweater right there ❤️
Screenshot 2026-03-09 at 09-56-50 Instagram.png
 
Stupid Sexy Flanders said:
God damn that's a woman face if I ever saw one.
Click to expand...
She is SO female.
Screenshot 2026-03-09 082812.png

The sweater looks like it's been stuffed in a box since she got fat during covid. Mallory's stylista lady-wife couldn't help her out by hitting it with a steamer for two seconds before she walked out the door to a public event? j/k Joe would literally never.
Screenshot 2026-03-09 082958.png
 
Last edited:
Mall wearing a Twin Peaks shirt to try and get credit for it, yet getting no credit for it is the most woman thing ever.

She's a terrible woman and I wish people would stop going "awww pooner" on her.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom