💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

They killed the wrong guy... Went after El Mencho when it's Jack committing true crimes against the mexican people!

No toilets on Earth deserve the abuse inflicted upon them daily by the Scalfani household.

The bottom of the seats, the bowls and the rims after each of the 7-10 meals per day no doubt look like someone dropped an M80 into a pot of chili con carne.

 

[AnOminous]

*"I don't normally use mexi-cheese...other than nachos" Jack, you cornstarch-chugging simpleton, you used it in your lazy man's pizza.

This lying sack. One of his signature traits that has been mocked for 20 years is his continual use of bagged cheese. Fucking liar.

 

[the khat quaffer]

They killed the wrong guy... Went after El Mencho when it's Jack committing true crimes against the mexican people!

¡Pendejo! I tol' you to kill El Puerco, not El Mencho.

This lying sack. One of his signature traits that has been mocked for 20 years is his continual use of bagged cheese. Fucking liar.

To be fair, in this bird shit pizza video, Jack said he doesn't normally use Mexi-blend cheese. He's been using bagged cheese of all kinds for decades. Fucker probably spent nine months in a shreddy cheese womb before coming out stillborn.

I haven't seen all his videos so I don't know how often he uses Mexi-blend specifically.

 

[Slavic Patronym]

Did I miss our overview of this Morning Excrement? I love how it, like 99% of his content now, is just him publicly negotiating with his demons instead of going to therapy (which, having grown up poor, fat, gay, closeted, dumb, fatherless, abused and unpopular, he obviously needs).

He knows he has way too much hate and rage in his heart for all the dumb culture war bullshit, but he also doesn't know how to stop caring -- so now here's a short about how "we" "all" need to stop letting politics ruin our lives. Projecting asshole.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

No toilets on Earth deserve the abuse inflicted upon them daily by the Scalfani household.

Daily? I doubt Fatty shits more than once a week with all that meat and cheese he eats. And then when he gets there he spends an hour pushing a rock hard lump of fecal matter out his arse.

Then that of course won't flush so Mommy wife needs to not only clean him up but use the plunger to clear it.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=itTgpROQ8tc
Did I miss our overview of this Morning Excrement? I love how it, like 99% of his content now, is just him publicly negotiating with his demons instead of going to therapy (which, having grown up poor, fat, gay, closeted, dumb, fatherless, abused and unpopular, he obviously needs).

He knows he has way too much hate and rage in his heart for all the dumb culture war bullshit, but he also doesn't know how to stop caring -- so now here's a short about how "we" "all" need to stop letting politics ruin our lives. Projecting asshole.

He's been saying this for years but he's always the first to complain or comment on stuff that is outside his wheelhouse.

There's only three thing Fatty is an expert on and should be speaking about.

1. Being a massive faggot.
2. Just being massive.
3. How to speed-run another stroke.

 

[the khat quaffer]

And then when he gets there he spends an hour pushing a rock hard lump of fecal matter out his arse.

Then that of course won't flush so Mommy wife needs to not only clean him up but use the plunger to clear it.

Methinks it's a WingsofRedemption situation. Where Tammy has to stick her hand-- noope, nvm, not going there. Nope.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=itTgpROQ8tc
Did I miss our overview of this Morning Excrement? I love how it, like 99% of his content now, is just him publicly negotiating with his demons instead of going to therapy (which, having grown up poor, fat, gay, closeted, dumb, fatherless, abused and unpopular, he obviously needs).

He knows he has way too much hate and rage in his heart for all the dumb culture war bullshit, but he also doesn't know how to stop caring -- so now here's a short about how "we" "all" need to stop letting politics ruin our lives. Projecting asshole.

If I had to watch this on a flight I'd walk out through the emergency door.

Jack if you want to improve yourself, and 'stay in your lane'

Here's your lane, Jack.



1:15 cat does a thing.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't looking forward to the next burritonigger pizzur sushi roll.

 

[Enig]

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't looking forward to the next burritonigger pizzur sushi roll.

I'd be lying if I said the only thing I look forward to out of him at this point is the impending obituary, the guy is way out of breath just doing the opening monologue now and at some point you gotta recognize that the wendigo has to move on to a new host at some point.

 

[Shartavius]

I recall convincing myself Jack would soon be dead when he “published” his cookbook (who else could fuck that up?). His nature as a meat golem cursed to scoot the earth until all the Jehovah’s Witnesses revive aside, this evil fatass is a testament to modern medicine.

 

[Tiresome]

this evil fatass is a testament to modern medicine.

He's not even a compliant patient, I assure you he's not doing a quarter of what his doctor is telling him to do because FUD and JEEZUS HEALZ. If anything, he's a testament to sheer dumb luck and the power of native supernatural mythology.

 

[souschef]

https://youtube.com/watch?v=itTgpROQ8tc
Did I miss our overview of this Morning Excrement? I love how it, like 99% of his content now, is just him publicly negotiating with his demons instead of going to therapy (which, having grown up poor, fat, gay, closeted, dumb, fatherless, abused and unpopular, he obviously needs).

He knows he has way too much hate and rage in his heart for all the dumb culture war bullshit, but he also doesn't know how to stop caring -- so now here's a short about how "we" "all" need to stop letting politics ruin our lives. Projecting asshole.

"Staying in your lane" is such a bullshit advice from someone who calls himself a cook. Cooking is an interdisciplinary activity, you stand to gain everything having interests in all aspects of life, political included

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

Daily? I doubt Fatty shits more than once a week with all that meat and cheese he eats. And then when he gets there he spends an hour pushing a rock hard lump of fecal matter out his arse.

I don't know, most of Jack's "cooking" seems perfect for explosive diarrhea.

 

[Adamska]

He's not even a compliant patient, I assure you he's not doing a quarter of what his doctor is telling him to do because FUD and JEEZUS HEALZ. If anything, he's a testament to sheer dumb luck and the power of native supernatural mythology.

He's a testament of what the ER can pull off to keep your ass alive. Because if this fat cunt can keep scootin' around after three to five strokes, it's a testament of what getting there fast can do.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

I don't know, most of Jack's "cooking" seems perfect for explosive diarrhea.

Yeah but he eats so little vegetables and fiber that the slowdown of his colon counteracts that. Basically he's a walking limping toxic waste factory.

He's a testament of what the ER can pull off to keep your ass alive. Because if this fat cunt can keep scootin' around after three to five strokes, it's a testament of what getting there fast can do.

He really should be thankful for the doctors doing everything to keep him healthy even though he thumbs his nose at them all the time.

 

[Uber driver reviewer]

I recall convincing myself Jack would soon be dead when he “published” his cookbook (who else could fuck that up?). His nature as a meat golem cursed to scoot the earth until all the Jehovah’s Witnesses revive aside, this evil fatass is a testament to modern medicine.

Onion.

 

[the khat quaffer]

I'd be lying if I said the only thing I look forward to out of him at this point is the impending obituary, the guy is way out of breath just doing the opening monologue now and at some point you gotta recognize that the wendigo has to move on to a new host at some point.

Fuckhead that he is, I don't want the dude to die. I don't even want him hurt, tbh; however, my wants are immaterial as he is killing himself with his daily choices backed up by a lifetime of excess and stubborn ignorance.

I don't know, most of Jack's "cooking" seems perfect for explosive diarrhea.

That "honkeys can't take any heat in they cooking" stereotype is beyond played out, but one look at Jack's *clears throat* Mexican Pizza makes me think, 'yeah, this 100% WILL give whitey some explosive diarrhea. pretty much anyone actually.'
This pizza is a crime. This pizza is why the treaties at Geneva were established. This pizza is worse than mustard gas, agent orange and the chink flu combined.

I hate you, Jack. I think of you every time I get 'Dubious Food' as a result in Tears of the Kingdom. (who'da thunk mixing dragon shit, goron spice, a literal fucking rock, and an egg wouldn't go well?)

 

[the khat quaffer]

https://youtube.com/watch?v=itTgpROQ8tc
Did I miss our overview of this Morning Excrement? I love how it, like 99% of his content now, is just him publicly negotiating with his demons instead of going to therapy (which, having grown up poor, fat, gay, closeted, dumb, fatherless, abused and unpopular, he obviously needs).

He knows he has way too much hate and rage in his heart for all the dumb culture war bullshit, but he also doesn't know how to stop caring -- so now here's a short about how "we" "all" need to stop letting politics ruin our lives. Projecting asshole.

"F as in Frank is trending topics" your January upload was you waxing poetic with chawles about the minutiae of being a stupid old fat fuck, not being able to get an erection, how your kids are doing, and how you bought some "smart goggles" simply because they were $20.

" I try to only talk about TV and movies...I don't post there about things that are going on" Some choice movie reviews reposted by Doctor of Autism have you judging a film by its wokeness or agenda.

You liked Kpop Demon Hunters. That's kinda weird for your demographic. I did too

"Stay positive, today's gonna be a good day..." Nice Guy Rob does it better. Also, he doesn't sound like he's dying inbetween death gurgles. Speaking of....

Chad Rob:
-intro/outro music is clearly stock music, but doesn't ear-rape you
-goes to locations around the world instead of across the street. never been to a taco bell, thanks jack
-wife is happy to take part in his passions
-mingles with the locals, even learning the language (dose burritos, cerveza, pour fahvore, ¡aguas la migra!)
-gives viewers a feast of external cultures
-goes swimming in the pacific ocean
-14:26

Virgin Jack:
-hates/scared of darkies
-can't fucking walk most likely
-gets pizzur pies from ATMs
-bakes literal diarrhea, self-admitted "bird shit" and rates it "gud...not great. GUD"
-has to go to abandoned shithole restaurants near closing hours
-poisoned young and elderly/infirm church goers
-tried to electrocute a dog and choked a kid i think
-jack

 

[semitooth]

tammy, please just put this man out of his misery already

 

[Uber driver reviewer]

Man Rob and Patty are living it up in their golden years. They will need extra pages in their passports soon.


Very cool I only hope that I can plan carefully enough to do half of the travel they do.


It’s a big beautiful world and it would be a shame to waste a lifetime sitting inside a fart-collector and bitching about it and only venturing to clown tourist traps of didney and universal for a break.


Today is a GOOD day. Don’t let Jack bring you down guys. Let Rob bring you UP!

 

[the khat quaffer]

https://youtube.com/watch?v=9xvoxcujaxgtammy, please just put this man out of his misery already

Fat retarded closet fag with AIDS reads news articles. Calls it News. I call it being a lazy uncreative fat fuck.

"[Domino's] and Panera* had a data breach"
Who in the everloving fuck has a fast food app on their phone. Even a restaurant app. Your information is worth 10x more in their hands than whatever pissboy discounts they rain down on you once a quarter.

"if you have Domino's app...you probably should change your password"
What's your password, Jack? jakatakTN@gmail.com, p/w 'FatFaggotWithAIDS69' oh shit, I'm in

"price sensitive guests" just say poor. I'd rather be called a poor nigger. This is like saying "melanin containing persons".

"datsgoogoododisweek...in food news"

I used to work at a major pizza chain and the claims are true: cost cutting did lead to obvious changes behind the counter. Dough came in refrigerated balls, sauce came pre-mixed in bags, assistant manager was a closet psychopath that shit himself every time you dinged the bell..
KFC's been dogshit for years now. I've tried going there a few times over the last decade. It don't hit the same. Their unyielding prices don't help. I can only hand out second chances so many times. There's no more scraps in my scrapbook.
Subway. There are better options.
I cannot fathom an existence where a fast food app being compromised poses a serious security risk to me. Unless I was a retarded fag that uses the same email and pw everywhere. Or eats out so much that these deals are a make-or-break situation. Or installs a fast food app at all.

*lmfao, Panera. butt-head laugh
if they had any balls they'da kept their charged lemonade> Then I'd go back.

edit: LEARN HOW TO PLACE YOUR PHONE YOU SLOBBERING POORFUCK. 500K+ subs. There are children doing shit-tok videos that know not to hold their phone vertically. Your goddamn QR code takes up half the screen. fuck, why are you so shit at everything?

 

[Shartavius]

I was so disappointed that Jack didn't get the chance to review a few refills of their charged lemonade.