Disaster NASA launches urgent evacuation of the ISS after ‘serious medical emergency’ in space - NASA is cutting short an International Space Station (ISS) mission due to one astronaut suffering a ‘serious medical condition’. Although stable, the unnamed astronaut appears to have had a foreign organism latch onto his head.

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NASA is cutting short an International Space Station (ISS) mission due to one astronaut suffering a ‘serious medical condition’.

All four crew are returning to earth months earlier than planned, in NASA’s first ever medical evacution, senior space officials have announced.

Speaking at a short-notice press conference on Thursday, NASA administrator Jared Isaacman said he and medical officials made the decision to return the astronaut, whom he did not identify, because ‘the capability to diagnose and treat this properly does not live on the International Space Station’.

The affected astronaut was not identified and no more details about the medical issue were revealed, with officials citing the crew member’s privacy.

NASA Chief Health and Medical Officer James Polk said ‘this was not an injury that occurred in the pursuit of operations,’ meaning it did not happen while the astronaut was working.

The crew is made up of US astronauts Zena Cardman and Mike Fincke, Japanese astronaut Kimiya Yui and Russian cosmonaut Oleg Platonov.

They have been on ISS since launching from Florida in August and were due to return around May this year.

A spacewalk scheduled for Thursday was cancelled on Wednesday, before a decision to return the crew was made.

Mr Fincke, the station’s designated commander, and Mr Cardman, assigned as flight engineer, were set to complete a 6.5-hour spacewalk onto install hardware outside the station.

Medical issues on ISS are rarely revealed to the public.

Spacewalks are demanding and high-risk operations that take months of preparation.

Astronauts must work in cumbersome suits and follow precise instructions while remaining attached to the space station.

In 2024, NASA cancelled a scheduled spacewalk at the last moment after an astronaut reported ‘spacesuit discomfort’.

In 2021, meanwhile, US astronaut Mark Vande Hei was forced to abandon a spacewalk after suffering a pinched nerve.

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I mean, if there's really something sucking on someone's head like it seems to be said, it would seem most likely that its an embarrassing terrestrial parasite such as lice or bedbugs or somesuch.
Yeah, but that's just so boring! What a drag! People want chest-bursters, brain-slugs, and headcrabs. Those things are marketable, which is basically the same thing as relatable in our fucked up modern world.

"Look, it's just like <insert your favorite oversaturated mass-marketed scifi IP here>!"
 
So they’re evacuating everyone because one guy got hurt? When was the last time the ISS was completely unmanned?
It's not going to be. They're just bringing that particular crew home. And likely everyone because if you just send one of the Dragon or Soyuz capsules home with only one occupant, then you have three people who don't have a place on another ship should a full evacuation actually be needed.

Basically it's like if your little brother gets sick on a road trip, the whole family has to go home.
 
It better be lice, because "one of our astronauts has some unidentified being latched onto his head" is not something you wanna hear before "...and we're sending them all back home".
 
It better be lice, because "one of our astronauts has some unidentified being latched onto his head" is not something you wanna hear before "...and we're sending them all back home".
It's all fun and games, until the company decides youre expendable for the bioweapons division.
 
I confess that my first thought was the woman got pregnant.
If that was the case NASA would keep her up there to see what zero-g monster baby from The-Void-Between-The-Stars she would birth and probably worship it and feed it garmonbozia
 
That they're so concerned about privacy and say that it's "not an injury sustained during their work," kinda makes it sound like a mental health thing, either self harm or they had a psychological break/existential crisis being in space. Or they got something stuck up their butt.
 
So lice shut it down?

I mean, if there's really something sucking on someone's head like it seems to be said, it would seem most likely that its an embarrassing terrestrial parasite such as lice or bedbugs or somesuch.

Yeah, but that's just so boring! What a drag! People want chest-bursters, brain-slugs, and headcrabs. Those things are marketable, which is basically the same thing as relatable in our fucked up modern world.

"Look, it's just like <insert your favorite oversaturated mass-marketed scifi IP here>!"

It better be lice, because "one of our astronauts has some unidentified being latched onto his head" is not something you wanna hear before "...and we're sending them all back home".
THERE IS NO LICE OR ANYTHING LATCHED ONTO SOMEONE’S HEAD I WAS MAKING A STUPID ALIEN JOKE I DIDN’T REALIZE EVERYONE WOULD AUTOMATICALLY FALL FOR IT GODDAMN
 
THERE IS NO LICE OR ANYTHING LATCHED ONTO SOMEONE’S HEAD I WAS MAKING A STUPID ALIEN JOKE I DIDN’T REALIZE EVERYONE WOULD AUTOMATICALLY FALL FOR IT GODDAMN
don't make dumbass jokes about that sort of thing then, you nigger.

To this, it merely means some astronaut got perpetually airsick and we should kiss his dick for being weak or something.
 
I'm going to vote on the most high likelihood case of the woman either getting knocked up, doing retarded shit and getting hurt, or going full cabin fever and destroying equipment. And NASA is recalling everyone since singling out the woman would prove the chuds right.
 
translation: they got into a fight and we have to bring everyone down.
God, please let it be this. I need goss on the space version of barroom brawl.

I think I'm going to roll with the theory this is some sort of mental health thing. We haven't had a major (reported) incident of someone going nuts in space, but it had to happen at some point. I do think there are probably a lot of things we don't understand about human physiology in space that we haven't yet accounted for or figured out how to account for, and fucking up the normal behaviors of the human body will eventually affect the brain.
 
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