💪 Tough Guys Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

[Harlan Wick]

How you managed to trudge onwards after reading this is a mystery to me. Was the whole book filled with this sort of humor?

No mystery, I had a few friends to help me. Jack Daniels and Jim Beam were with me though the worst parts.

Not as bad but yes.

 

[AnOminous]

No mystery, I had a few friends to help me. Jack Daniels and Jim Beam were with me though the worst parts. Not as bad but yes.

My Old Grand-Dad has sometimes been helpful too.

 

[Knee Heel No Womb]

Hyper aggressive middle management armed forces: Every fucking military person in this stupid book will flex and pick a fight with the least threatening person. They will happily threaten raining nuclear hell fire on the planet of bunnies but when asked why will say they are following orders and lack authorization from higher authorities. When it comes to dealing with some that can shoot back at them all of a suddenly the attitude becomes let’s think this over or maybe we should talk first.

There's a strong possibility this obscenity of a decision-making process was lifted directly from star trek.

Star Trek has always approached violence in a strange and inconsistent way. Sometimes, they urge cooperation in overtly hostile situations to emphasize the Federation's dedication to peace. Occasionally, they do the opposite and respond so quickly to violence that it seems psychotic, in order to show how decisive the Federation is in the face of danger. Honestly, there's not a really strong pattern to how they handle situations.

Naturally, this all makes perfect sense and is completely not-retarded if you're an adjudicated wife-threatener. This is yet another example of some fat idiot consuming mass media at only the most superficial level, without any intention or desire to achieve a greater understanding of what the creators were trying to say. All this in spite of the fact that Rick is a professional six-figure author. I'd almost feel bad for the vapid life this man lives if he wasn't such a jackass.

No brains. No balls. Enjoy prison.

 

[JustSomeDong]

Ever wanted to know what it's like to read a Patrick S. Thomlinson book without reading it. Well today is your lucky day I read it and wrote a book report. Warning it's long.

I salute you for suffering through it for our collective entertainment.

 

[Summer of George]

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This photo might represent the sole documented instance in which Patrick talks to (or at least makes eye contact with) a fellow bar patron.

 

[Dean Pentel]

The fact Fatrick was objectively behind in his math and science classes and still got published as a hard sci-fi author bodes incredibly ill for the state of modern sci-fi.

All the pedophiles among the authorship of modern sci-fi doesn't help any either.

In some schools they offer college level courses if you finish early. A younger relative of mine graduated high school basically already with an associate's.

I've been preceptor for some high school kids in a program local to me that let's them be LPNs right out of high school. I hear such programs aren't all that rare.

Things only a narcissist would lie about.

No, stlaker. That's not all. They'd also lie about their obvious weight gain, how many knife fights they've been in (where by some mystery nobody went to the hospital after), how many teeth they've spoon fed to opponents, how many black men they murdered, or the identity of who it was that really wrote "Fatrick is a dum dum pee pee head" on his motorcycle.

People who are shit at coursework but ace exams nearly always scrape through, even if just barely.

I've actually never met anyone who could do this. I'm not saying they're not out there. It sounds quite uncommon.

This nigga will be the death of me I swear

No, child. He won't. We are all of us the authors of our untimely demises. It rests solely in our hands, the wages of a most terrible sin: noticing Patrick is damn fat.

If Rick threatens it, there is a 0% chance of it happening.

This is because he can't ever let the idiots win, even himself. In fact, he's so good at not letting the idiots win that he has completely exempted himself from the laws of thermodynamics. This is why he hasn't gained a pound since high school. If only he could apply such dedication to writing decent books.

It's just a clinically obsessed criminal cyberstalker facing multiple felony charges for crimes against his family.

I'm glad we're all classified as "clinically" obsessed. Putting in all this time and effort to be called an amateur would chap my ass.

Honestly it's probably a plot to make Fatrick into a Adult account or Fatrick is a depraved pervert who wants black men to fart in his wife's pussy, both are possible.

How has nobody noticed the rather obvious fact about this whole thing?! Patrick says it's happening for Big Nick, but it's clear to anyone smarter than him that the entire thing is a ploy to immerse Patrick in his favorite things: naked, gassy niggers and the cheap, greasy food and cheap liquor required to keep them that way.

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Wouldn't this be an enormous compliment to Patrick? It implies he's not only successful enough to move in the circles of those types, it also implies he's not the incredibly caustic faggot to everyone at all times that we know he is.

He's seriously sleeping on this shit, if he livestreamed video games or even his "writing process" he would make decent money from retards and it would be consistent.

He'd make money just being himself, content for the thread would near infinite, and it'd hospitalize a few of us for sure. It's a W all around.

What jobs do you guys want in prison? I'm going to be in the mailroom with Schillinger and the Aryans.

I'd work in the library with @AnOminous and @Judge Holden. It would be so fucking coo...

I want to be the librarian, like Brooks in Shawshank. That way I could fill the library with books from Brian Keene and Heinlein and Orson Scott Card and John Ringo and Larry Correia, and chuck anything from Rick's favorites. INTO THE TRASH THEY GO!

That is how I will ENJOY THE FUCK OUT OF PRISON!

Correia books?! Bro, I thought you were cool!

Easy for Americans to say, The British imperialists didn't steal all of the 13 colonies' indoor and outdoor sanitation and plumbing infrastructure before they left, unlike in future superpower India.

Wrong about everything as always, bongland-child. Your people knew the Indians had a plethora of streets and rivers that are perfectly serviceable for whatever waste disposal they need. Why waste time, money, and resources on a problem that doesn't exist?

Some meh-scellaneous Piggy pics fell off the back of a truck, if you're into that sorta thing;

Any idea when these were taken? You can see those tits were just sprouting.

I'm a conservative, Sparkles. I don't like you because you're a dickhead. I'd like you more if you weren't.

No, child. You're not. You're clearly a libertarian. A very gay and retarded one. Enjoy prison.

Fucking hell, I decide to work 5 shifts a week and look at all I miss.

 

[BigPeanut]

Fucking hell, I decide to work 5 shifts a week and look at all I miss.

Didn’t read + you’re going to enjoy prison.

 

[Gromit the Claymation Dog]

No passive voice was found in the work. Congrats to Patrick and his editor.

I mean no disrespect, fellow stalker (or do you prefer child?) but there is passive voice even just in the sentence above

Of the 8950 sentences in the book Hemingwayapp found 708 sentences very hard to read. Example taken from the Prologue (Kindle edition): ’One sibling had been lost to a micrometeoroid impact that had been below its detection threshold until it was too close to maneuver against, but the rest continued to function optimally.’

“Had been lost” is an example of passive voice. Using the verb ‘to be’ and following it with the past participle of a verb. If we took that clause out and treated it as its own sentence, “One sibling had been lost,” it becomes a lot more clear. Now you wonder, “Who lost the sibling?” And then you wonder, “Why has someone delivered me my sibling’s exact body weight in pepperoni as a condolence gift? He must have been ground into pepperoni!” No, that’s not right. “Patrick ground him into pepperoni!” See how the agent of the action is now the subject of the sentence?

 

[Anonymus Fluhre]

It's kind of sad to think of Pat carefully lining up his books on the table and waiting all afternoon for someone to acknowledge him and speak to him. But it's also really funny, because he's such a giant asshole who well deserves his isolation and the resultant internet mockery.

With Virgil dead he can be the new Lonely Virgil. Though Virgil could actually grift at least a tenner from people.

NoooOOoooo, economy-child, you did not grow. Those are your delusions again.
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This means nothing for the average consumer. It's up because of exports and government spending. That number comes from the CBO, the same body that also said that the Big Beautiful Bill will cost the government trillions. Trump supporters will take whatever they can get that agrees with their agenda, same goes with Democrats. I don't trust either party.

 

[Bias Judge.]

He is continuing to correct the record.
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Finally, Professor Tomlinson presents his version of the economic report.
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I was just about to post my own screenshots of this. Just outright denial of any information that disagrees with his preconcieved model of reality.

Lots of people go through life like this, but Pat takes it to the extreme. Its one of many reasons that Pat is such a fascinating lolcow.

Living with that level of cognitive dissonance every damn day for 45 years has to be incredibly difficult. No wonder he self-medicates with alcohol and bar slop…..poor pig, maybe Niki should have the veterinarian put him down.

 

[East_Clintwood]

Because it will never be written.

Wrong again stlaker child. You have been informed many times that Tiny Tim's Gay Adventures is already written, you mean it will never be published. Enjoy prison (and actually good books)

 

[UncleTusky]

Wrong again stlaker child. You have been informed many times that Tiny Tim's Gay Adventures is already written, you mean it will never be published. Enjoy prison (and actually good books)

Has Rick ever said why he hasn't just self published at this point? If his agent has been pitching it for ages with no results it's pretty clear publishers know about it and just don't like it.

 

[Sloppy Party Bottom]

Has Rick ever said why he hasn't just self published at this point? If his agent has been pitching it for ages with no results it's pretty clear publishers know about it and just don't like it.

You insolent fool! Prison. PRISON I SAY! Tiny Tim and the Chocolate Pepperoni Dungeon will be a tome for the ages! Self-publishing is for the weak of soul. Only the highest caliber publishers would be fit to foist this masterpiece upon the waiting public?

 

[reptile baht spaniard rid]

Self published would be admitting defeat and he’s smart enough to know that.

Remember the only person Ricky successfully deceives is himself.

 

[East_Clintwood]

Has Rick ever said why he hasn't just self published at this point? If his agent has been pitching it for ages with no results it's pretty clear publishers know about it and just don't like it.

I don't think he's ever outright said it. I posted my theory about it a while back:

He hasn't written anything new because he doesn't actually give a shit about writing. To him being an author is purely a status thing that he can use to show he's better than the regular peons during arguments on Twitter. It's the same reason he hasn't gone the self publishing route even though it's clear traditional publishing has zero interest in his shitty books.

If you search his Twitter feed you'll see how obsessively he has to Correct The Record™ against the trolls about how he's not self published, and this part where he tries to use it like some sort of an insult during a spat with another writer:


Bonus new Patism, somehow going from purview to prevue. Published author btw

 

[Gentlebastard]

Some meh-scellaneous Piggy pics fell off the back of a truck, if you're into that sorta thing;

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Fair Use: Longitudinal Study of Facial Edema in Alcoholic Milwaukee Ragepig

I know literal passive homosexuals who would be appalled at how flamboyant Patrick acts in a normal day, enraged at him being a living stereotype of a faggot, and utterly confused when they found out he's straight*.

The biggest shock, however, would be the knowledge of how incredibly fat he is**.

*Pat's into things, child.
** Haven't gained a pound since high school, stlaker.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

I’m dying for Pat to interact with his old friend Emily Bell, whose posts are getting increasingly deranged and cryptic.



She and Pat share a love of children’s toys like stuffed animals.


Why do these loons always have to over-egg the pudding?

 

[bortherman]

Reading this book I had a hard time believing that an adult who wrote five other books and numerous short stories wrote this book. I could believe this was the first time work of a teenaged military sci-fi fan like in the vain of The Eye of Argon by Jim Theis. I would believe this was a first draft or a work from the Baen slush collection that hasn’t been edited yet. Hell, having read this damn thing twice I still can’t believe this is a final draft, edited by person, read for audiobook by a person, and no one said a damn thing about it.

TYFYS.

To clear up the above mystery, This is his 3rd (last) book of his TOR contract. This is after dropping two stinkers for them and getting embroiled in an online war with OnA. They were looking to publish anything semi legible to complete the contract and cut ties.

There is a draft for In The Red which was up to about 90k words. He stopped writing it when TOR ghosted him but you can see his little begs on twitter when people ask him about it and he tags them in.

If you feel up to it, give Gatecrashers a review for us. This is a book he had been writing for nearly a decade, helped by his first wife Ade, rejected many, many times previously (even AR didnt want it, hence writing The Ark) and was sold to TOR as part of his "6 figure of contracts".

 

[KingOfGains]

Ever wanted to know what it's like to read a Patrick S. Thomlinson book without reading it.

You just had to give yourself cancer for Christmas didn't you? And now you're spreading it to us. Thank you, good sir.

 

[Anonymus Fluhre]

He literally just admitted he has no clout in the business to make any decisions for his work. If you're not known in the business then the agent, publisher, and the editor will choose what you get. You can have the decision about your book cover as part of your contract. Really the only choice I got for artwork for my CoC adventure I was going to get, rest of the book was going to sparse to save on costs, fuck that. I hate blank space in tabletop books. I think Patrick is upset with the fact that Peter is the better Wisconsin author.